(After the theme song, a view of Clone High is shown. The end of school
bell is ringing. Scene shifts to the hallway. Abe and Joan are walking
arm in arm.)
Abe: Well, another school week come and gone. And what a tough one it's been.
Joan: Tell me about it. We had three essays due this week and it's amazing that we managed to finish them all.
Abe: Yeah, but I knew we'd finish them easier if we worked together.
Joan: See Abe. This is what being in a relationship all about: supporting each other no matter what. It's a two way street.
Abe: And I'm glad that I've taken this two way street. Because I would have crashed and burned if I had continued on that one way street with Cleo. Sure she stoked the fiery passion within my heart. But she really only cared about herself whereas you always cared for me. And thanks to you, that fiery passion has grown into a bonfire of tremendous proportions.
Joan: Exactly, Abe. So Gandhi, Marie, Matt and I are coming to your house for our Friday Night Movie, right?
Abe: Right. Although, I'm a little worried.
Joan: Why?
Abe: It's Matt's pick tonight. Remember the last time he picked the movie? I couldn't sleep for nights after watching that bloodbath he picked.
Joan: I'm sorry you got scared, Abe. But you know Matt. He's so obsessed with everything frightening. (aside) Although, I did find you cuddling up to me in fright quite enthralling.
Abe: At least Matt's on his way to living a normal life. But there are some things he needs to shake. Like that habit of going to talk to dead people in the cemetery and living in that creepy cave of his.
Joan: Well, other than that, everything's normal around here. JFK is still drooling after several women.
(Scene changes to another view of the hallway. JFK is leaning against some lockers as several ladies pass him by.)
JFK: Hey ladies. Want to take a dip in my pool again? Or shall I dip in your pool? Wink wink!
(The ladies come back and fawn over him. Scene changes back to Abe and Joan.)
Abe: Chris Columbus and Leif Ericson are still arguing.
(Scene changes to two characters. One is a nerdish teen with pimples and braces. He is wearing an old Spanish explorers hat. This is Chris Columbus. The other is a burly, muscular teen wearing a Viking hat. This is Leif Ericson.)
Chris: My clonefather is the true discoverer of America!
Leif: Oh yeah, geek. If mine were alive when your clonefather was, he would've said, "Been there. Done that. Got the American T-shirt."
Chris: My clonefather is the official discoverer of America. Yours just collided with the continent like all stupid, violent, drunken Vikings.
Leif: Why you (bleep) nerd!
(Leif starts to beat up Chris. Scene shifts back to Abe and Joan.)
Joan: And John Lennon's off to his band practice.
(Scene shifts to four characters. John Lennon is in the lead. He looks exactly like his clonefather (Beatle cut, black suit, white shirt, black tie). The other three are Jimi Hendrix and the Elvis Presley twins.)
John (British accent): Come on, mates. We're due to meet Beethoven, Mozart and Bach at the band room for practice.
(Scene shifts back to Abe and Joan.)
Abe: Think they'll ever harmonize, Joan?
Joan: Not in a million years.
Abe: Well, let's go pick up Matt from the library and go to the Grassy Knoll.
Joan: I'll go pick up Matt. You go find Gandhi and Marie and we'll all meet together there.
Abe: See you later, my Maid of Orleans.
(Joan blows Abe a kiss as she walks away.)
Joan: Au revoir, mon president.
(Abe and Joan walk off in opposite directions. But they haven't gone unnoticed. A door opens and Cleo walks out with an angry look pasted on her beautiful face.)
Cleo: They disgust me. They're getting too close and the closer they get, the harder it will be for me to win Abe back. There has to be some way to split them apart.
(Cleo starts to think. But after a few moments she groans and yells in frustration.)
Cleo: I can't think of anything! The thought that Abe would ditch me for Bleacher Trash just drives me crazy! She doesn't even equate to me in my looks. But all Abe cares about now is her so-called "inner beauty." I bet he would ditch her if she still looked the way she did after I gave her a makeover before the prom.
(Cleo's eyes lit up in realization. Then she grins and rubs her hands together.)
Cleo: Yes. Those kind of girls don't turn Abe on anymore. I'll find a way to turn his sweet little Joan into Super Slut! Then he'll come back to me because I'll be more preferable compared to her when I'm through.
(Cleo laughs evilly as she walks away in Joan's direction. Scene shifts to a view of the library. Joan walks in from the left. She talks in whispers since she is in the library.)
Joan: Matt? Are you in here?
(The voice of Matt Frankenclone calls from somewhere else in the library.)
Matt: Over here, Joan. I'm in the 700s.
(Joan walks down the aisles. Scene shifts to the entrance of one of the aisles. Joan comes in from the right. But she stops and gasps. Scene shifts to the top of one of the stacks. A thin, green tentacle holding a book reaches up and places it on the shelf. The camera follows the tentacle down to reveal is attached to the finger of Matt Frankenclone. He is dressed differently since we last saw him. He is now dressed in a white shirt with blue jeans. But he still has his cloak dangling on his back. Camera pulls back to show he has many tentacles putting books back all over the aisle. Camera shifts back to Joan who has a surprised look. But then she smiles.)
Joan: Getting to control your transformation powers better, aren't you Matt?
Matt: Yes, Joan. Through an intense series of meditations and chants, I have gained some control. It won't be long before I achieve total control.
Joan: Uh-huh. And the fact that you constantly work in a place where there's no screaming of fear doesn't help.
Matt: Well, of course that helps too.
Joan: Don't worry, Matt. I'm reading on how to deprogram that trigger of yours. I believe it's not genetic. It's all mental.
Matt: Even so, I love my job here in the library. The only complaint I have is that no women come in here very often.
Joan: Why does that bother you?
Matt: Well seeing as how you're with Abe and Gandhi's with Marie, I'm the only one of the gang who doesn't have a crush. During my lunch hour, I've been scoping out the women, looking for potential crushes. No luck so far.
Joan: I'm not surprised. Few students ever actually set foot in the library. The only ones who come in here are science geeks.
(Camera shifts to another part of the library where George Washington Carver and his anthropomorphic peanut Peanie are reading a book entitled 'The Nuts and I'. Suddenly, Carver backs away in disgust.)
Carver: Yi! Peanie, I thought you said this was about the food nuts!
Joan (contd.): .eccentric social outcasts,.
(Camera cuts to a pale male figure. He has jet black hair and is wearing clothing typical of a male Goth. He is reading a book entitled 'The Complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allen Poe'. In fact, that's just who he is. He starts to laugh evilly.)
Poe: Death to the vulture-eyed geriatric! Kill him so his heart can expose you for murder!
Joan (contd.): .and people who hide in here because they're ashamed of the way they look.
(Camera shifts to a dark corner of the library in which a large, bulky, lumpy figure is cowering. Camera pulls back to show Joan and Matt looking at the figure in the shadows. Matt's tentacles have gone away.)
Matt: Come on, John Merrick. Come out and show yourself.
Merrick: No way, Frankenclone. You'll just make fun of me.
Matt: Ah I've seen worse. Heck, I've been worse.
(John Merrick doesn't respond. Matt shrugs and turns to Joan.)
Matt: Well, no one said being a clone of the Elephant Man wasn't easy.
Joan: It's not easy being a clone of anybody around here. Anyway Matt, we're going to the Grassy Knoll. You want to come?
Matt: Sure. I'll just notify Mr. Shakespeare that I'm going.
(Scene shifts to a door. A nameplate on it reads, 'W. Shakespeare, Librarian.' Another sign below says, 'Keep out! Playwright at work.' Matt walks in from the right and opens the door a crack.)
Matt: Mr. Shakespeare? I'm leaving now. The school day's over anyway.
(The door suddenly opens all the way to reveal the librarian William Shakespeare. He is dressed in a taupe suit. He too looks like his clonefather. He is balding and has a beard and moustache. He does not look very happy.)
Shakespeare: (Bleep) it, Matt! How many times do I have to tell you?! Don't disturb me when I'm thinking! You think it's easy to think up a good play that lives up to my clonefather's? When you have to go, go!
(Shakespeare slams the door in Matt's face. Scene changes to Matt and Joan staring in shock.)
Matt: Whoa. I've never seen anyone in this school try to live up to their cloneparent so hard. In my opinion, no one in this school should be pressured to live up to the originals. They should just be their own person like you are, Joan. You're nothing like the original Joan of Arc. She was never a cynical, angst-ridden Goth girl. Well, I expect Abe and the others are waiting for us. Let's go, Joan.
(Scene shifts to the door of the library. Joan and Matt come out and start to walk down the hallway.)
Joan: Matt, can I ask you about something?
Matt: Sure, Jeanne D'Arc. What's on your mind?
Joan: Well, I know we haven't known each other for a long time so I feel a little silly about asking this. But.
Matt: Just let it out, Joan.
Joan: Do you think Abe would still love me if say, my hair were a different color?
(Matt looks a little shocked at this question.)
Matt: Well uh, you see Joan, that's the last kind of question I'd expect you to ask.
Joan: I know I'm not the type of girl who's concerned about her looks. But lately, I feel like changing my image a little now that things are going so well for me.
Matt: Are you sure I'm the right person to ask this, Joan? After all, I am slightly insane.
Joan: Just give me your honest opinion. Would Abe feel differently about me if I went back to my natural hair color?
Matt: Hmm. I thought that shade of red wasn't natural. I really can't tell you how Abe would feel. But if you want to do it, go ahead. If Abe loves you, nothing between you will change if you change yourself a little bit.
Joan: Thanks. But I'm still not sure about it.
Matt: Think about it a little more. At least until after we get together for our movie tonight.
Joan: That reminds me. What did you pick? I hope it's nothing like that Thirteen Ghosts you picked the last time it was your turn. It scared Abe a little too much and it was very disturbing to see Gandhi drooling over that hacked-up naked woman ghost.
Matt: Trust me, Joan. Even though this movie is scary, it'll also churn your heart. Tonight, prepare to feel the terror and heart-filled drama of Francis Ford Cappola's Bram Stoker's Dracula!
Joan: I heard that movie was a classic. It even has a nice tagline: love never dies.
Matt: Just like I hope Abe's love for you never dies.
Joan: And I hope you find true love eventually Matthew. What exactly are you looking for in a woman?
Matt: Oh, a nice scream would be good. That Marilyn Monroe certainly had a good one. But she's too blonde for me.
(Joan rolls her eyes. Scene shifts to behind them as they walk away. From around a corner, Cleo walks in with an evil smile.)
Cleo: So, Joan wants to change her look. Perfect opportunity to extract my plot for revenge. Operation Breakup will soon commence.
(Scene fades out and opens up to a pair of eyes. They are bloodshot and shifting from side to side. A loud series of banging sounds is heard. The camera pulls back to reveal that they belong to the Head Shadowy Figure (HSF) curled up in the fetal position. His teeth are gritted. He is sitting in the bottom of the pit where Matt Frankenclone has imprisoned them. He is also ankle deep in bat guano. Camera shifts and pans to the right to show the other members of the Evil Board of Shadowy Figures in similar positions. They all look tense. The banging sound continues until finally one of them outbursts (known as Shadowy Figure #1 or SF1))
SF1: I can't take it anymore! Stop the noise! The noise!
(Another Shadowy Figure (SF2) runs up and slaps him.)
SF2: Get a hold of yourself, man! It's only water dripping from a bottle onto a drum which is near a microphone attached to speaker.
HSF: Fellow Shadowy Figures, we are in a dire situation. The Frankenclone seems to try and drive us as insane as we did to him. But we must retain our sanity if we want to escape from here.
SF1: But this is worse than the time he brought an air horn and sounded it off while the bats were here. What a swarm that was.
SF2: It's rather depressing that we are being held prisoner by our greatest creation who could very well be our greatest mistake.
HSF: You fool! Frankenclone's only our second greatest creation. Our greatest creation is the.
(The HSF stops. Then his face lightens up.)
HSF: Of course!
(The HSF searches the lapels of his uniform and pulls out a small gray disk.)
HSF: Frankenclone didn't find this. We can escape. All we need to do is make one little call.
(The HSF taps the back of the disk. A small antennae pops out. Scene changes to a darkened room. A mysterious figure is sitting in a chair that has its back to the camera. He is watching Marilyn Manson on TV. Next to him is a table with a phone on it. Nearby is a hat rack with a top hat on it. The phone rings. He picks it up after muting the TV.)
Mysterious Figure: Commander of the ECA, Rip here. How may I help you?
(An obscured voice comes out of the phone.)
Rip: Head Shadowy Figure! I haven't heard from you since you went to collect the clones on prom night.
(The obscured voice talks again.)
Rip: What! Matt Frankenclone has been found and he is now holding you prisoner in a pit filled with bat poop?
(The obscured voice talks again.)
Rip: Well, rescue missions aren't exactly our thing so you'll have to pay us double. Do you want all of us to come?
(The obscured voice talks again.)
Rip: Only us commanders? Well, okay. Remain sane for a while and we'll be right over. We'll trace your communicator so we'll be able to find you. Sit tight.
(Rip hangs up the phone and then laughs evilly. Snapcase's Litmus Test begins. Camera changes to close up of the hat rack. Rip's hand reaches up and takes off the top hat all while still laughing evilly. Scene changes to another darkened room. The shadows of two people are on the wall. One is a tall woman with a ponytail who appears to be sharpening an axe on a grindstone. The other is a short male who appears to be hunchbacked. The sound of snorty giggling is heard from his direction. The shadow of Rip wearing his top hat appears between them.)
Rip: Liz? Rich? We've got a job to do.
(All three of them start to laugh evilly as the title in white letters comes up.)
(Commercial break)
Abe: Well, another school week come and gone. And what a tough one it's been.
Joan: Tell me about it. We had three essays due this week and it's amazing that we managed to finish them all.
Abe: Yeah, but I knew we'd finish them easier if we worked together.
Joan: See Abe. This is what being in a relationship all about: supporting each other no matter what. It's a two way street.
Abe: And I'm glad that I've taken this two way street. Because I would have crashed and burned if I had continued on that one way street with Cleo. Sure she stoked the fiery passion within my heart. But she really only cared about herself whereas you always cared for me. And thanks to you, that fiery passion has grown into a bonfire of tremendous proportions.
Joan: Exactly, Abe. So Gandhi, Marie, Matt and I are coming to your house for our Friday Night Movie, right?
Abe: Right. Although, I'm a little worried.
Joan: Why?
Abe: It's Matt's pick tonight. Remember the last time he picked the movie? I couldn't sleep for nights after watching that bloodbath he picked.
Joan: I'm sorry you got scared, Abe. But you know Matt. He's so obsessed with everything frightening. (aside) Although, I did find you cuddling up to me in fright quite enthralling.
Abe: At least Matt's on his way to living a normal life. But there are some things he needs to shake. Like that habit of going to talk to dead people in the cemetery and living in that creepy cave of his.
Joan: Well, other than that, everything's normal around here. JFK is still drooling after several women.
(Scene changes to another view of the hallway. JFK is leaning against some lockers as several ladies pass him by.)
JFK: Hey ladies. Want to take a dip in my pool again? Or shall I dip in your pool? Wink wink!
(The ladies come back and fawn over him. Scene changes back to Abe and Joan.)
Abe: Chris Columbus and Leif Ericson are still arguing.
(Scene changes to two characters. One is a nerdish teen with pimples and braces. He is wearing an old Spanish explorers hat. This is Chris Columbus. The other is a burly, muscular teen wearing a Viking hat. This is Leif Ericson.)
Chris: My clonefather is the true discoverer of America!
Leif: Oh yeah, geek. If mine were alive when your clonefather was, he would've said, "Been there. Done that. Got the American T-shirt."
Chris: My clonefather is the official discoverer of America. Yours just collided with the continent like all stupid, violent, drunken Vikings.
Leif: Why you (bleep) nerd!
(Leif starts to beat up Chris. Scene shifts back to Abe and Joan.)
Joan: And John Lennon's off to his band practice.
(Scene shifts to four characters. John Lennon is in the lead. He looks exactly like his clonefather (Beatle cut, black suit, white shirt, black tie). The other three are Jimi Hendrix and the Elvis Presley twins.)
John (British accent): Come on, mates. We're due to meet Beethoven, Mozart and Bach at the band room for practice.
(Scene shifts back to Abe and Joan.)
Abe: Think they'll ever harmonize, Joan?
Joan: Not in a million years.
Abe: Well, let's go pick up Matt from the library and go to the Grassy Knoll.
Joan: I'll go pick up Matt. You go find Gandhi and Marie and we'll all meet together there.
Abe: See you later, my Maid of Orleans.
(Joan blows Abe a kiss as she walks away.)
Joan: Au revoir, mon president.
(Abe and Joan walk off in opposite directions. But they haven't gone unnoticed. A door opens and Cleo walks out with an angry look pasted on her beautiful face.)
Cleo: They disgust me. They're getting too close and the closer they get, the harder it will be for me to win Abe back. There has to be some way to split them apart.
(Cleo starts to think. But after a few moments she groans and yells in frustration.)
Cleo: I can't think of anything! The thought that Abe would ditch me for Bleacher Trash just drives me crazy! She doesn't even equate to me in my looks. But all Abe cares about now is her so-called "inner beauty." I bet he would ditch her if she still looked the way she did after I gave her a makeover before the prom.
(Cleo's eyes lit up in realization. Then she grins and rubs her hands together.)
Cleo: Yes. Those kind of girls don't turn Abe on anymore. I'll find a way to turn his sweet little Joan into Super Slut! Then he'll come back to me because I'll be more preferable compared to her when I'm through.
(Cleo laughs evilly as she walks away in Joan's direction. Scene shifts to a view of the library. Joan walks in from the left. She talks in whispers since she is in the library.)
Joan: Matt? Are you in here?
(The voice of Matt Frankenclone calls from somewhere else in the library.)
Matt: Over here, Joan. I'm in the 700s.
(Joan walks down the aisles. Scene shifts to the entrance of one of the aisles. Joan comes in from the right. But she stops and gasps. Scene shifts to the top of one of the stacks. A thin, green tentacle holding a book reaches up and places it on the shelf. The camera follows the tentacle down to reveal is attached to the finger of Matt Frankenclone. He is dressed differently since we last saw him. He is now dressed in a white shirt with blue jeans. But he still has his cloak dangling on his back. Camera pulls back to show he has many tentacles putting books back all over the aisle. Camera shifts back to Joan who has a surprised look. But then she smiles.)
Joan: Getting to control your transformation powers better, aren't you Matt?
Matt: Yes, Joan. Through an intense series of meditations and chants, I have gained some control. It won't be long before I achieve total control.
Joan: Uh-huh. And the fact that you constantly work in a place where there's no screaming of fear doesn't help.
Matt: Well, of course that helps too.
Joan: Don't worry, Matt. I'm reading on how to deprogram that trigger of yours. I believe it's not genetic. It's all mental.
Matt: Even so, I love my job here in the library. The only complaint I have is that no women come in here very often.
Joan: Why does that bother you?
Matt: Well seeing as how you're with Abe and Gandhi's with Marie, I'm the only one of the gang who doesn't have a crush. During my lunch hour, I've been scoping out the women, looking for potential crushes. No luck so far.
Joan: I'm not surprised. Few students ever actually set foot in the library. The only ones who come in here are science geeks.
(Camera shifts to another part of the library where George Washington Carver and his anthropomorphic peanut Peanie are reading a book entitled 'The Nuts and I'. Suddenly, Carver backs away in disgust.)
Carver: Yi! Peanie, I thought you said this was about the food nuts!
Joan (contd.): .eccentric social outcasts,.
(Camera cuts to a pale male figure. He has jet black hair and is wearing clothing typical of a male Goth. He is reading a book entitled 'The Complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allen Poe'. In fact, that's just who he is. He starts to laugh evilly.)
Poe: Death to the vulture-eyed geriatric! Kill him so his heart can expose you for murder!
Joan (contd.): .and people who hide in here because they're ashamed of the way they look.
(Camera shifts to a dark corner of the library in which a large, bulky, lumpy figure is cowering. Camera pulls back to show Joan and Matt looking at the figure in the shadows. Matt's tentacles have gone away.)
Matt: Come on, John Merrick. Come out and show yourself.
Merrick: No way, Frankenclone. You'll just make fun of me.
Matt: Ah I've seen worse. Heck, I've been worse.
(John Merrick doesn't respond. Matt shrugs and turns to Joan.)
Matt: Well, no one said being a clone of the Elephant Man wasn't easy.
Joan: It's not easy being a clone of anybody around here. Anyway Matt, we're going to the Grassy Knoll. You want to come?
Matt: Sure. I'll just notify Mr. Shakespeare that I'm going.
(Scene shifts to a door. A nameplate on it reads, 'W. Shakespeare, Librarian.' Another sign below says, 'Keep out! Playwright at work.' Matt walks in from the right and opens the door a crack.)
Matt: Mr. Shakespeare? I'm leaving now. The school day's over anyway.
(The door suddenly opens all the way to reveal the librarian William Shakespeare. He is dressed in a taupe suit. He too looks like his clonefather. He is balding and has a beard and moustache. He does not look very happy.)
Shakespeare: (Bleep) it, Matt! How many times do I have to tell you?! Don't disturb me when I'm thinking! You think it's easy to think up a good play that lives up to my clonefather's? When you have to go, go!
(Shakespeare slams the door in Matt's face. Scene changes to Matt and Joan staring in shock.)
Matt: Whoa. I've never seen anyone in this school try to live up to their cloneparent so hard. In my opinion, no one in this school should be pressured to live up to the originals. They should just be their own person like you are, Joan. You're nothing like the original Joan of Arc. She was never a cynical, angst-ridden Goth girl. Well, I expect Abe and the others are waiting for us. Let's go, Joan.
(Scene shifts to the door of the library. Joan and Matt come out and start to walk down the hallway.)
Joan: Matt, can I ask you about something?
Matt: Sure, Jeanne D'Arc. What's on your mind?
Joan: Well, I know we haven't known each other for a long time so I feel a little silly about asking this. But.
Matt: Just let it out, Joan.
Joan: Do you think Abe would still love me if say, my hair were a different color?
(Matt looks a little shocked at this question.)
Matt: Well uh, you see Joan, that's the last kind of question I'd expect you to ask.
Joan: I know I'm not the type of girl who's concerned about her looks. But lately, I feel like changing my image a little now that things are going so well for me.
Matt: Are you sure I'm the right person to ask this, Joan? After all, I am slightly insane.
Joan: Just give me your honest opinion. Would Abe feel differently about me if I went back to my natural hair color?
Matt: Hmm. I thought that shade of red wasn't natural. I really can't tell you how Abe would feel. But if you want to do it, go ahead. If Abe loves you, nothing between you will change if you change yourself a little bit.
Joan: Thanks. But I'm still not sure about it.
Matt: Think about it a little more. At least until after we get together for our movie tonight.
Joan: That reminds me. What did you pick? I hope it's nothing like that Thirteen Ghosts you picked the last time it was your turn. It scared Abe a little too much and it was very disturbing to see Gandhi drooling over that hacked-up naked woman ghost.
Matt: Trust me, Joan. Even though this movie is scary, it'll also churn your heart. Tonight, prepare to feel the terror and heart-filled drama of Francis Ford Cappola's Bram Stoker's Dracula!
Joan: I heard that movie was a classic. It even has a nice tagline: love never dies.
Matt: Just like I hope Abe's love for you never dies.
Joan: And I hope you find true love eventually Matthew. What exactly are you looking for in a woman?
Matt: Oh, a nice scream would be good. That Marilyn Monroe certainly had a good one. But she's too blonde for me.
(Joan rolls her eyes. Scene shifts to behind them as they walk away. From around a corner, Cleo walks in with an evil smile.)
Cleo: So, Joan wants to change her look. Perfect opportunity to extract my plot for revenge. Operation Breakup will soon commence.
(Scene fades out and opens up to a pair of eyes. They are bloodshot and shifting from side to side. A loud series of banging sounds is heard. The camera pulls back to reveal that they belong to the Head Shadowy Figure (HSF) curled up in the fetal position. His teeth are gritted. He is sitting in the bottom of the pit where Matt Frankenclone has imprisoned them. He is also ankle deep in bat guano. Camera shifts and pans to the right to show the other members of the Evil Board of Shadowy Figures in similar positions. They all look tense. The banging sound continues until finally one of them outbursts (known as Shadowy Figure #1 or SF1))
SF1: I can't take it anymore! Stop the noise! The noise!
(Another Shadowy Figure (SF2) runs up and slaps him.)
SF2: Get a hold of yourself, man! It's only water dripping from a bottle onto a drum which is near a microphone attached to speaker.
HSF: Fellow Shadowy Figures, we are in a dire situation. The Frankenclone seems to try and drive us as insane as we did to him. But we must retain our sanity if we want to escape from here.
SF1: But this is worse than the time he brought an air horn and sounded it off while the bats were here. What a swarm that was.
SF2: It's rather depressing that we are being held prisoner by our greatest creation who could very well be our greatest mistake.
HSF: You fool! Frankenclone's only our second greatest creation. Our greatest creation is the.
(The HSF stops. Then his face lightens up.)
HSF: Of course!
(The HSF searches the lapels of his uniform and pulls out a small gray disk.)
HSF: Frankenclone didn't find this. We can escape. All we need to do is make one little call.
(The HSF taps the back of the disk. A small antennae pops out. Scene changes to a darkened room. A mysterious figure is sitting in a chair that has its back to the camera. He is watching Marilyn Manson on TV. Next to him is a table with a phone on it. Nearby is a hat rack with a top hat on it. The phone rings. He picks it up after muting the TV.)
Mysterious Figure: Commander of the ECA, Rip here. How may I help you?
(An obscured voice comes out of the phone.)
Rip: Head Shadowy Figure! I haven't heard from you since you went to collect the clones on prom night.
(The obscured voice talks again.)
Rip: What! Matt Frankenclone has been found and he is now holding you prisoner in a pit filled with bat poop?
(The obscured voice talks again.)
Rip: Well, rescue missions aren't exactly our thing so you'll have to pay us double. Do you want all of us to come?
(The obscured voice talks again.)
Rip: Only us commanders? Well, okay. Remain sane for a while and we'll be right over. We'll trace your communicator so we'll be able to find you. Sit tight.
(Rip hangs up the phone and then laughs evilly. Snapcase's Litmus Test begins. Camera changes to close up of the hat rack. Rip's hand reaches up and takes off the top hat all while still laughing evilly. Scene changes to another darkened room. The shadows of two people are on the wall. One is a tall woman with a ponytail who appears to be sharpening an axe on a grindstone. The other is a short male who appears to be hunchbacked. The sound of snorty giggling is heard from his direction. The shadow of Rip wearing his top hat appears between them.)
Rip: Liz? Rich? We've got a job to do.
(All three of them start to laugh evilly as the title in white letters comes up.)
(Commercial break)
