First, I would like to say that the quote "If you want to leave, you can go." came from one of my teachers. Of course, the circumstances was entirely different, but I couldn't resisted using it… ^_^
Then, there's always this issue of not getting a single review for the last chapter…::hinthint::
And the formatting is a bit weird…sorry!
Enjoy!
Crush is a fairytale
Leaving or Happily Ever After doesn't exist in my life (3/3)
"I just wanted to stay with youI just wanted to feel your breath of grace
I didn't know what to do
I couldn't say anything
When consciousness returned
Everything had been washed away
By the tide of time, even you
But the scars of memory never fade away
I can't stop loving you
Stop my tears
Stop my loving
Kill my memories"
—Silent Jealousy, X Japan
You thought that I have forgotten about the fairytale, didn't you? Well, let me tell you this: all good things will end. It was inevitable, in both the story and mine. The princess of the sea had sacrificed so much, her voice and tail, to be with the human prince. I gave up part of my loyalty to my House and don't even care that I might be seen with a guy to be with him. We were both so blinded by love that we believed that it would last forever.
Coincidently, both of our relationships ended with the invasion of a third-party. Hers was the same witch who gave her legs. She had seduced the prince and even ended up marrying him. Mad with grief, the mermaid disappeared into the foams of the ocean. Mine was a girl who was in his house. I don't even know anything about her until he mentioned her to me.
The first signs that something was changing surfaced when we came back from our summer break. He began to act nervous around me, giving excuses to postpone our nightly trips to our room. I am not as thick-headed as you think; I knew something was wrong. I just didn't want to admit it. Besides, we were starting to prepare for our NEWTs, he could have been burning midnight oil all along and I had been over-reacting.
How I wished that that was the truth.
*************
"If you want to leave, you can go." He pointed at the door.
He had finally told me the truth, the truth that I refused to acknowledge. He was in love with a girl. How could he, when he was supposed to be with me? I just can't make any sense out of it. People don't just stop loving one person one day and fall in love with another the next, right?
Of course, I protested. I reminded him of what he had, the things we did and what we had scarified. Surely, he was not thinking clearly and would realise his mistake? But no, all my hopes went crushing down when he admitted that he had been thinking about it all through the summer. He claimed that what we had were just an infatuation, on the other hand, he love that Evans girl.
That did it. How dare he said that it was just a infatuation? I certainly didn't pine away for him since I entered Hogwarts all because of an infatuation. And who is that Evans girl anyway? Well, according to him, her name is Lily. And she's the most attractive girl in school. Yeah, right. Who does she think she is anyway?
At first, I begged and pleaded for him to come back to me. It didn't work. I tried crying my lungs out, that didn't work either. I went to blackmail, threatening to tell the Headmaster everything we did. He just calmly pointed out that it would land me into hot soup as well. I couldn't think clearly anymore, I can't bear the thought of losing my one true love. I began to get angry, fury at him. How dare he play with me like that?
I snapped; all I could see was glaring red. I began to curse him, telling him to get lost. I gave him everything I've got and this is how he treat me? Like a toy, cast aside once its owner gets tire of it? With these thoughts in my head, I uttered the most untrue words of my life, "I hate you. I wish that I had never known you in the first place. Fine, go to your sweet and loving girlfriend. You can both die for all I care."
That was when he said those words. "If you want to leave, you can go." It was an open invitation to walk out of the door and our relationship. I took it. With a final glare at him, I slammed the door hard, leaving him behind. Alone.
*************
I knew that I had acted harshly that day. I couldn't focus on my thoughts well for the next few days. But after that, when the haze settled down and my mind was a bit clearer, the truth hit me like a Bludger to my head.
What was I thinking? Walking out like that. I should have stayed and reasoned with him, not scream and shout at him. I began to regret my actions. I didn't want to lose him just like that, but I did it all on my own. What a fool I had been. He's gone, out of my life forever and I couldn't do anything about it.
I tried, I tired to speak to him, to apologise, but he won't see me. I used to know his body language, but even that knowledge deserted me. Every time I saw him in public, he was always with his friends or that girl. I know who she was now; she was the one who always get top marks in Charms. Lily Evans, reddish hair, bright green eyes with a charming personality who wouldn't like her? Still, I couldn't help feeling jealous of her whenever I saw him with her, the prefect couple at Hogwarts. I wonder if he had told her of our relationship, but she appeared not to know me.
Maybe he thought that I was just a dirty little secret that shouldn't be revealed to others.
*************
I gave up. Whoever said that if you love someone, you would want that person to be happy, even if the choice of a lover wasn't you, was right. They looked so happy together. Call me weak-willed, anything. If he's happy with that girl, then I'll give them the blessing that he wanted from me the day we broke up. My only other consolation was that I had found him first, make him mine and was his everything for some months.
I became engrossed in my studies in a bid to forget about the heartache. Soon, I found myself quite skilful on Potions and went on to improve my skills. I discovered that making potions helped calm my mind. My professor noticed my talent and began to tutor me in making other advanced potions.
But no matter how interested in studying I became, I was still forced to see the prefect and happy couple of the year in class and during meals. Hurt stabbed at my heart repeatedly. I was supposed to be happy for him, but the hurt still hadn't left me.
Slowly, I lost interest in people, and made the Potions Classroom my sanctuary. I also lost interest in my appearance, after all, there's no one left for me to impress. The one that I once loved pretended that the past months had never existed.
Just a mistake, he would probably think.
Then one day, my life almost ended.
*************
One of his friends apparently thought that I needed to get my head out of Potions books more often as he told me that I would find something very interesting during the full moon. I went, curiosity being the blame for this.
What I had found could have killed me. Either that or have me for its dinner. I didn't know that the school had hidden such a dangerous creature amidst the students. They were supposed to protect me, not include an uncontrolled beast among us!
Of course, he had to play the ever-brave hero and saved me from a gruesome death.
"Are you out of your mind?" He screamed at his friend. "He could have been killed!"
"Now, calm down. It wasn't that bad. He didn't get bitten or anything."
"You're mad!"
Both of them continued in this fashion while I laid on the ground, paralysed in shock. My heart pounding in my ears as I thought, was he in the joke too? I remembered that he had always like to play pranks on others but I had never thought that he would go this far. If I had gone any further, I would have died!
Did he even care?
*************
After that, my feelings towards him changed completely. Even if he wasn't to blame for the deadly joke, I'd still hate him. I hate him. I hate knowing that he existed in the first place, that he had given me some of my happiest moments in life and then throw them back in my face and that his friends had used my life as a joke.
My hatred for him grew and I resorted to studying Dark Arts. Revenge, I guess. I didn't care about anything in the end, I had nothing to lose. That was my second mistake in life, but I soon corrected that.
That's how I ended up here, teaching a bunch of foolish children. Teaching you.
You'll never left me like what your father did, would you, Harry?
*************
End
The ending just came out this way…so…::shrugs::
Remember to R&R!
