Okay, any big Fresh Prince of Bel Air fans, elements of this ARE based on the Las Vegas episode, especially the talent show at the end. Please don't sue me!

***

Miyu and Larva are waiting at an airport. Miyu has a baseball cap with the Yankees' symbol on it and a rubber duck ring around her stomach. Larva has shades over the eyeholes of his mask, which looks, well, odd and is holding lots of suitcases and a fake stuffed donkey toy.

MIYU: Remind me, where are we going again?

LARVA: (Sighs) Las Vegas, Miyu.

MIYU: Ooh, can't wait to play blackjack!

LARVA: Or craps. Or roulette. Or poker..

MIYU: I'm more of a slot machine person myself. Wait a second, why do we have all these inflatables when the only liquid we'll be near is sweet, sweet crimson nectar?

LARVA: Only god knows.

NAD: You mean me, right? Yeah, I'm god, puny mortals. Worship me! Ha ha ha ha ha! Mwa ha ha ha!

LARVA: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight... Anyway, Miyu, please keep blood sucking to a minimum. You're supposed to be on a blood diet. Only iron supplements for you.

MIYU: Hmph. I knew I shouldn't have signed up with Molly. I'm not fat!

LARVA: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.. Miyu, why are you humping my leg?

MIYU: Don't ask.

LARVA: I just did.

MIYU: Well, I don't have to answer. Narnarnenarnar. (Throwing away the inflatables and putting on a visor over her baseball cap) Okay, gimme some chips! (Larva hands her a bag full of fries) Not those, Larva! (An announcement is heard faintly) Our plane! RUN!

LARVA: I'm over 8 foot tall, Miyu. It'll be walking slowly for me and another thing.. Miyu? Miyu? Where have you gone? (Miyu is sucking somebody's blood) Aw, Jesus, gimme a break.

(On the plane)

MIYU: Ah, this is the life, ey Larva buddy?

LARVA: (Completely scrunched up) So much for extra leg room.. (Mutters) A banana.. (Mutters) Scotch, lots of scotch - or scotch guard? Oh, the puzzles..

MIYU: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Need any help, madam?

MIYU: No, but get my slave a cushion, huh?

LARVA: No, too much pressure on spine already..

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Perhaps your, ahem, slave will be more comfortable in this? (The attendant brandishes a birdcage)

LARVA: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

(At the casino)

MIYU: Wow! This place is like some sort of..

LARVA: (Rubbing neck) Casino?

MIYU: I'm hitting the roulette table!

LARVA: Don't abuse the furniture, Miyu.

MIYU: Boo sucks to you, missy. See you at dinner! (She runs off)

LARVA: Missy!? Oh well. Vacation! Time to have some fun. (Rocking back and forth) Doo dee doo doo.. (A couple of Japanese girls run up to him and start giggling and taking photos)

JAPANESE GIRL #1: Take off your mask, Larva!

JAPANESE GIRL #2: Take it off! Take it off! (She starts to take her own top off)

LARVA: Please, put it back on! I'm sorry, madam, I don't think that would be a good idea-AGH! (They lunge at him)

(At a gambling table)

MIYU: (Shaking dice) C'mon! Lucky, lucky! Baby needs a new ribbon! (She rolls the dice. It hits the roulette table she is at)

CROUPIER: Madam, do actually know how to play roulette?

MIYU: (Humbled) You use dice and say stuff like 'Baby needs a new-.'

CROUPIER: Please step away from the table, madam.

MIYU: Aww.. If I'm not accepted here, I won't be accepted anywhere!

RANDOM GAMBLER: Damn straight!

MIYU: If only there was a game I'm good at.. Or knew how to play. Dammit! (She hits a slot machine. All the coins come tumbling out) Hot damn! (She sits down and starts to play..)

(The lobby)

LARVA: Where is she? These Japanese girls are starting to worry me.. (A pile of 'ooh-ing' and 'aah-ing' Japanese girls lie at Larva's feet, the only Westerner among them is none other than Miyu fic writer, LaDemon. Read her stuff, is good sheet, no?)

MOLLY: Eh, Larva, baby, these hysterical goils are good for your career!

LARVA: What career? My boxing career is down the pan, this one is gonna last me eternity and I think Miyu would just get jealous..

MOLLY: No, Larva baby. Just put this on and follow me. (She hands him a showgirl's costume, complete with marabou feathers)

LARVA: Aww, man!

(A talent show)

Larva is alone on the stage. He clears his throat. Molly gestures to him.

LARVA: (Deadpan) I like being bitten and I cannot lie, you other Shinma can't deny, when a vampire princess walks in with a big useless fan and some sharp canines in your face you go, "Yo, bite me here! Say I'm a brotha in da hood, want you to suck my blood, cos it makes me feel hor-nay!"

He tries a few high kicks, which fail and knock his head.

SICK PERVERT IN AUDIENCE: Woo! Kick it, baby!

LARVA: (Hissing to Molly) Why do I feel like I'm called Mimarin and I'm a member of a band called Cham?

MOLLY: Just don't get paranoid, kill anyone or land a part in an erotically charged thriller. Oh, and I didn't do anything.

LARVA: These feathers are coming out of your pay.. (Molly pushes him onto the stage) Ladies.. (He struggles to find some. The only ones are his Japanese fans, taking hundreds of pictures and giggling. They have slaughtered LaDemon, fearing she'd wreck their chances) and, ahem, gentlemen. For my next number.. Well, I'll just sing it, shall I? (Deadpan) It's raining yen, hallelujah! It's raining yen, hallelujah!

MIYU: (From back) Get off the stage you idiot! (Larva obeys, much to the dismay of his fans both, ahem, male and female) Don't get mad at me.

LARVA: Wouldn't even if I tried.

MIYU: I ran out of money and had to pawn our tickets back home and your motorbike to fuel my obsession.

LARVA: (Eyes nearly popping out of mask) Trying-trying-trying!

MIYU: I don't know how we're going to get back home, Larva. I'm sorry.

MOLLY: Hey, kiddos! (She points to the talent show sign - $1000 FIRST PRIZE!!)

(The talent show - later)

MIYU: (In a marabou costume. Deadpan, to the tune of 'I put a spell on you') I wrote your name in fire! And now you're mine! I sent you back to the abyss! Now Larva, honey, gimme a kiss!

LARVA: Murph?!

(This is too much for the fans. They all leap on Miyu and rip off the ribbon round her foot)

MIYU: Dammit! Um, Larva, spare me a twenty?

LARVA: Trying-trying-trying..

Larva then sits bolt upright in his small apartment. A ghostly version of him in his showgirl costume appears at the window.

GHOSTLY LARVA: Hee hee hee! I am the real Larva and you are incredibly dirty for taking off your clothes! (Larva's Japanese fan base bursts in through the door)

JAPANESE FANS: He took off his clothes?

LARVA: Murph!?

Larva sits bolt upright in his apartment..

LARVA: Oh, crap. I knew that costume would come back to haunt me.

GHOSTLY LARVA: And I did indeedy doo!

LARVA: Murph!?

Sayonara!! ^__^