Here is Chapter Three for you. And I have taken the privelege of getting a character to read you the disclaimers. Onward, Twin #1!
Twin #1: *in highly cultured, sophisticated voice* Rage Aomori does not claim ownership of the Matrix or anything related to it. All rights and properties belong to Larry and Andy Wachowski.
Reika: *struggles against chains madly* WAI!!! BISHOUNEN!!!! MINE! MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!
Twin #2: *glares* Says who? *pouts*
Twin #1: ^_^ *hugs #2* We'll kill them all later. Don't worry.
Twin #2: ^_^
Reika: O_O *evaporates from all the fluffy, Twinnish goodness*
Erm.... Well now. Let's get a move on, shall we?
Extreme OOCness galore. Character bashings, idiocy, some gore, the destruction of pies and expensive hair-dos... the usual. As I said. Spoilers. Do be warned.
Chapter Three.
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Noon was just slightly passed. The sun still broiled in the sky, still cooked the people below like cotton and polyester wrapped sausages in sandals and sunblock. The sky was as blue as moldy cheese, and in the heart of such a city, smelled much like one too. The clouds floated ahead, teasingly, little puffs of white, pointing their poofy, fat little cloud fingers at the poor, sweating mass below them. They pointed and betted on the swarm of black that was mobbed about in a small, fenced in park, on the lone, dark-clad figure screaming at them from the center of the mob. They laughed at the expression of sheer horror, anger, and hunger on the poor man's face.
Neo: *falls to knees* WHY ME?
Smiths: *blink*
Neo: What did I do to deserve this? WHAT DID I DO?
Smith: Theorhetically, you killed us... or think you did.
Neo: *blinks* I did, didn't I?
Smith 1: You did.
Smith 2: You think you did.
Smith 3: You'll be wishing you did.
Neo: Will you please stop with that? I'm getting a headache trying to see which one said what.
Smith: Stop what?
Smiths: Stop what?
Neo: That!
Smith 4: What?
Smith 5: Which one?
Smith 6: That?
Neo: CUT IT OUT!
Smiths: Cut what out?
Neo: *puffs up like a toad that swallowed a helium balloon* *glares*
Smiths: *smile*
Smith: *sticks hand into Neo's chest* Be one of us.
Neo: O_O AGH! *overcome by slimyish black stuff*
Smiths: *smile*
Neo: *black stuff disappears* HA!
Smiths: *frown*
Smith: You're going down... *tackles*
Neo: O_o *dodges*
Smiths 1-4: *begin attacking*
Neo: Dammit. Why me...?
MEANWHILE, on the Nebuchadezzar...
Morpheus: *peeks into Trinity's room* Um...?
Trinity: *crouched on the floor beside the bunk*
Morpheus: Trin...? *blinks*
Trinity: *removes camoflage plate from floor* *begins punching in combination to lock*
Morpheus: *assumes 'spy mode'*
Trinity: *opens lock to reveal... The Underwear Drawer*
Morpheus: *freezes utterly*
Trinity: *starts rifling through The Underwear Drawer* Dammit... you better not have taken it Neo... I'll use your hide as my underwear...
Morpheus: *passes out from panty overload*
Trinity: Ha! He didn't get it! My lovely... *pulls out pair of poofy white undies*
Link: *from the front* Trinity! Morpheus!
Trinity: ^_^ Coming! *locks up drawer* *pockets undies* I'd better change the combination soon... *opens door vigorously* *steps on Morpheus*
Morpheus: *gets hit by door* Ow. *stepped on* Double Ow.
Trinity: Don't think I didn't hear you at the door earlier...
Morpheus: @_@
Five minutes Later...
Morpheus: *with footprint on face* What is it?
Link: *blinks* *stares* Er... there... *points at screen* Buncha Smiths ganged up on Neo...
Trinity: Dammit! How'd he do that?
Morpheus: Smith? I thought he was dead?
Link: Whole lot of 'im...
Trinity: How does he do that?
Morpheus: Neo's doing well...
Link: Good fighter, yep...
Trinity: How does he DO that? *envious* I wanna multiply!
Morpheus: *has a sudden coughing fit*
Link: *whistles loudly*
Trinity: *looks from one to the other* What?
Both: Nothing!
Trinity: Damn right it better be nothing...
Both: ^_^'
In the Matrix...
Neo: Dammit! OW! THAT WAS MY HEAD!
Smith 2: *notices foot print on Neo's back* None of us...
Smith 3: Made that...
Neo: *blinks* I got stepped on.
Smiths: *snicker* *resume attacking*
Neo: Aaaaagh....
Several minutes later...
Neo: How many of you ARE there? *looks around in disbelief*
If anyone had bothered to look into the little excuse for a city park, they would have been faced with a mass of black suited men. And a very disgruntled looking man in the very center of the roiling, hostile mob.
Neo: *sighs in exasperation* Shoulda punched him when I saw him...
Smiths: *smile evilly* *begin attacking*
Several MORE minutes later...
Neo: *now swatting back the many Smiths with a metal bar* This feels surprisingly good...
Smith 7: *gets hit in the midriff* O_O
Smith 21: *gets blasted out of the park entirely* @_@
Neo: I think I'm having fun...
Even MORE minutes later...
Neo: *getting swarmed by Smiths* AIIIIEEEE!!!!
Smith 3: Dogpile! ^_^
Smith: There's no escaping us.
Smith 36: No escaping.
Smith 71: We destroyed you once, we can do it again.
Neo: You're getting wrinkles in my coat...
Smiths: *chuckle darkly*
Neo: That's it! I've had enough! *Stands up. Smiths fly in all directions*
Smith: Get back here!
Neo: Toodles! *flies out Superman style*
Smiths: *blink* *look around* *meander off*
Neo: *manages to get lost in cloud* Dammit!
Back on the Nebuchadezzar...
Trinity: Wow. So many Smiths... it hurt the eyes...
Morpheus: There was a lot.
Neo: He's like a dandelion! One minute, there's just one! One harmless little dandelion! The next minute, there's a whole frickin' feild of 'em! He's a dandelion! A DANDELION! He's a friggin' DANDELION!!! *begins to hyperventilate*
Trinity: Geez! Calm down! He's in the Matrix, and you're not. *pats Neo on the back* It's all right. *in a voice usually used with babies, very small children, and the sanity deprived* He's not going to get you now. you're safe. Don't worry. And besides. Dandelions can be stepped on, can't they?
Neo: *begins to calm down* Yeah... Yeah! That's right! Dandelions can be stepped on! And burnt... and wilted... And... *goes on about the things that can be done to and with dandelions*
Morpheus: ........ Right. And, you know what? We should find the Oracle now...
Link: *from kitchen* Dinners ready! *rings bell*
Trinity: Great! Glop! Let's go!
MEANWHILE, in the Matrix, in the posh restaurant thingie..
Merovingian: What is causing that INFERNAL giggling? *glares at ceiling*
Persephone: *now ducked under an umbrella* Can't nail me now. Can't nail me now... *mutters madly* My poor hair-do...
Twins: *snicker in remembrance* *resume the torturing of a new Henchman*
Henchman 5: OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMYYYY!!!!!! MERCY!!! I SAID MERCY, DAMMIT!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Henchmen: *on the other side of the room* *wince in sympathy and clutch at limbs in sympathetic pain*
Twin #1: *chuckles evilly*
Twin #2: *smiles in a dangerously cheerful sort of way*
Henchman 5: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! @_O
Merovingian: QUIET, DAMMIT!!!
Henchman 5: AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIII--- *screaming cuts off abruptly*
Henchmen: *wince simultaneously*
Henchman 1: Oohh... *turns slightly green*
Henchman 2: Nasty!
Henchman 3: Glad it's not me...
Henchwoman: *winces* *chews on handkerchief* Poor guy...
Henchman 2: Well, technically, he's not a 'guy' anymore now...
All Males except the Twins: *wince*
Twins: *chuckle evilly*
Henchman 5: @_X *twitches madly*
Other People in Restaurant: *wince , push away food, and dash off to the bathroom holding mouths*
Twins: ^_^
Voice from Vents: *giggles madly*
Merovingian: *glares at ceiling* What IS up there?
Persephone: *crouches under umbrella* *looks about nervously*
Twin #1: *licking hand clean of very suspicious, red liquid* Hm?
Twin #2: *poking at Henchman 5's madly twitching body* Sounds like giggling... *pokes some more* *snickers*
Merovingian: *sarcastically* How observant... Can't you two do that somewhere else? We're losing business here...
Twin #1: *glares* Do not insult us.
Twin #2: ^_^ *continues to poke Henchman 5*
Merovingian: Er.... okay... *edges away cautiously*
MEANWHILE, at the building entrance...
Morpheus: That was a quick dinner...
Trinity: *slightly green*
Neo: *hums innocently*
Morpheus: Well... let us move on! *points upwards and marches into the building*
Trinity&Neo: *follow*
Trinity: I don't feel so good...
Neo: I told you now to eat so fast...
Trinity: I know... but I wanted to get move on... and WHY am I wearing black latex?
Neo: -_-
A minute or so later...
Neo: Nice place... *looks around*
Morpheus: *to waiter person thingie* We're here to see the Merovingian.
Trinity: *slicking hair with jar of lard hurredly*
Waiter: *raises eyebrow* Follow me. *leads them into the restaurant thingamajig*
Neo: Sweet, man... *looks around like a country bumpkin in a big city full o' lights* So many shiny things...
Morpheus: Yeah... *blinks* *stares* *shudders*
Henchman 5: *being carried away by Henchman 1 and 3* X_X
Trinity: What happened to him? *puts away lard jar and stares as well, wincing in sympathy*
Neo: I don't wanna know. Don't think I'd want to meet the person who did it to 'im, though...
Merovingian: *watches as Neo, Trinity and Morpheus approach* *rubs hands in a gleeful, evil sort of way*
Persephone: *still ducked under umbrella* *smiles in a seductively mysterious sort of way*
Neo: *blinks*
Merovingian: I've been expecting you.
Neo: Looks like it... *takes in the many scattered cards, gameboards, tic-tac-toe games, empty plates, scattered clothes, and bloody utensils* *blinks at that last* ..........
Twins: *grin evilly*
Morpheus: *glares in Morpheus fashion*
Trinity: *stands around looking.... cool, we suppose.... and greasy, do not forget greasy*
Neo: *stares darkly*
Merovingian: *smiles and stares back*
Five Minutes Later...
Neo: *stares darkly*
Merovingian: Can we get a move on now? *has a tic going on forehead*
Neo: *continues to stare darkly and blankly*
Trinity: Neo?
Persephone: Is he even there?
Morpheus: *pokes Neo*
Neo: *begins to snore*
All: *fall over anime-style*
Merovingian: *climbs to feet* THIS ISN'T THE TIME FOR A NAP! *starts babbling obviously rude words in French*
Persephone, Henchmen, Twins, Virtually anyone who can understand French: *flinch, wince, shake heads, and (in the Twins' case) laugh*
Trinity: NEO! *slaps him upside the head*
Neo: O_@ OWIE! *resumes snoring*
All: *stare in blank silence*
Merovingian: He can't be the One... can he?
Twins: *Busy attempting to help each other off the floor, which is a bit of a chore, since their laughter seems to have robbed them of all function in the legs*
Henchmen: *inch farther away from the Twins*
Morpheus: *sighs* *dangles bit of poofy, white fabric in front of Neo's face*
Neo: *snorts* *suddenly blinks awake* ^_^ *snatches white poofy thing*
Trinity: Hey... Is that my underwear?
Morpheus: Erm... nooooooo..... *scuttles crab-like towards the Henchmen*
Neo: *nuzzling white poofy thing, which unfortunately happen to be Trinity's panties* ^_^
Trinity: AGH! YOU PERVERT! THOSE ARE MINE! *tackles Neo a la Football-style*
Neo: O_O NOOOOOOOO!!! MY WHITE POOFY PANTIES!!! *tackled*
Twins: *rolling about on the floor, roaring with laughter*
Henchmen: *holding each other up, laughing madly*
Merovingian: *stares in utter blank disbelief*
Persephone: *humming, staring at ceiling, determined to keep a relatively straight face*
Trinity: GIVE 'EM BACK!!!
Neo: NOOOOO!!! MINE! MY PANTIES! THEY'RE MINE!
Morpheus: *banging head against wall*
Twins: *trying, TRYING, mind you, to control mad, virtually uncontrollable laughter* *fail utterly*
In the confusion with Trinity screaming for Neo to give her back her coveted panties (somehow nabbed by ol' Morphy) whilst strangling the bloody daylights out of Neo (still madly clutching the panties), nobody seems to hear the not-so-faintly insane giggling coming from the vents, nor the rapid gunfire and explosions coming from several floors below. In all the confusion, where those who haven't left are either busy watching the spectacle or laughing like loons (like the Twins), nobody seems to notice a panel in the ceiling slide open and a pink rope drop out from it, nor the restaurant doors opening to admit a very dishevelled, very smokey-looking young man accompanied by a person with a pumpkin head.
Trinity: GIMME!
Neo: NO!
Morpheus: *has now bashed a considerable hole in the wall with head*
Merovingian: Persephone, dear? What say you to a nice, long, vacation?
Persephone: I say yes. Leave them behind though. *nods at Twins, who are busy laughing madly*
Trinity: GIMME!
Neo: *in a very strangled voice* NO! M-MY P-PANTIES!
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You're all going to bash me, aren't you? Yes, this is it for the chapter. Long, ain't it?
I'm afraid this may be all you'll be getting for a while. Summer is here and it's vacation time.
I'd do the reviewers thingie, but I've no time. _ Sorry. Forgive me!
Thanks to all who reviewed! I THANK YOU!
I will be very happy if you were review this one too. Very happy indeed. I may put more Twin time in. *chuckles evilly*
Twin 1: We didn't get enough air-time...
Twin 2: We want more....
Twins: Now.
^_^' Ooookaaay.... Well, until next time.
Ja ne
