Author: Christy Anderson
Date: July 5, 2004
You can contact me at kittyunlimitedgo.com or leave a review.
Author's Note: Now that multiple years have passed, I've decided to brush my own dustbunnies off of this story and hit the midnight oil like Neal. I feel like I really identify with his literary ailments, with none of his dramatic flair to make my story interesting; writer's block is definitely something hard to overcome. Fortunately Neal provides wonderful material to work with. Well, I've reworked some of the old magic on this chapter that I hope will make the storyline more coherent. Here's to the Neals of the world.
Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns them all. More technically, she shares joint custody with her publishers. As I am not included in that circle, I own nothing. Just the plot. :)
The lights of the Book Room cast soft shadows on the discussion group across the room where Neal sat in bewilderment. The taciturn couple of the Midwinter Feast were now transformed- enthusiastically debating over Yamani battle tactics, the frozen awkwardness thawed by the more congenial atmosphere. Head to head with Raoul, Commander of the King's Own, Princess Shinkokami avidly devoured the exchange of stories and experience at hand.
Shadowed in the corner, separate from the group, Neal watched, mesmerized by Yuki's composure as she related ancient Yamani defense tactics to Raoul and Kel, who sat beside Buri, Commander of Queen Thayet's Riders. "Our walls are built tall and steep," Yuki continued, "but at a slant, not upright like yours."
Princess Shinko nodded. "This way the walls can be used for a multitude of purposes and not solely defense."
Across from her Raoul raised his eyebrows, as if Princess Shinko's response was a sort of confirmation to what he thought. "I've heard stories that could chill a stormwing's spine about defense counterattacks of sieges of Yamani castles." He paused a moment to gauge the reaction of the Yamani guests around him.
Princess Shinko did not seem offended. "It's true that some of our tactics can seem a trifle brutal. In the event of a siege, we pour hot oil down our walls to wash out the attack. The rock the walls are made of are cut by hand and fitted precisely, smooth to allow no footholds."
"They are practically incapable of being scaled," Yuki chimed in, speaking more freely after her mistress's example.
Raoul sighed. "The grounds around the palace are too unstable to build any higher. Vertical walls, however, are hard to scale when they are supplied with archers."
From Raoul's left side, Buri nodded her head in agreement. "It's hard work, though, to keep the archers armed and firing. You need to plan frontal assaults and distractions to break up the enemy if the attack lasts too long."
"If such an assault ever got as far as Corus," Prince Roald broke in. "We have set up a good defense around our borders. There would be a great deal of battling before the enemy was on our front step."
The debate continued, searching for a successful hypothetical advance against Corus and ways to counterattack. Every now and then, Princess Shinko, Yuki, or Haname would add in helpful suggestions.
Neal continued to rest in the corner, taken by a glowing Yuki. For someone so delicate looking, she surprisingly knew her way around tactics deftly. After Kel's stories about her experiences in the Yamani Isles, Neal knew that he should have expected it, but it was amazing to witness the scene firsthand.
"Neal," Raoul called from across the room, "quit your brooding and come over here. Why, you've barely said a word this evening."
Interrupted in his thoughts, Neal felt his face redden as he stepped out of the shadows and into the light cast by the fire and the candles all around. On his face he could feel the weight of all the eyes in the room, waiting anxiously for him to respond. "You all were doing such a fine job that I had little to add," he amended to cast off the suspicion that assailed him, mumbling and staring down at his feet, as he made his way towards Raoul.
"Had little to add or struck speechless by the awesome display of brains and beauty before us? Eh, Neal?" Prosper joked.
The group chuckled, especially those who knew the squire well. Neal almost choked, and his flush ran up to his ears, deepening five shades of red, as he came under Yuki's scrutinizing gaze.
With a faint smile, Yuki indicated the empty seat next to her. "You can sit here, Squire Neal," she offered.
Neal bowed his head in gratitude and tried not to turn pink at this most fortuitous turn of events, even while the heat burned more intensely in his cheeks.
"He's too humble," Roald chipped in with a deliberate tone, exchanging a knowing glance with Neal. His voice, assured and calculated, drew some of the unwanted and uncomfortable attention off of Neal. "Next to Kel's heroic and decisive action," Roald continued, reminding the group of why they had met in the first place, "Neal's use of magic helped in the skirmish. I am sure Kel would love to tell the story."
Immediately Princess Shinko's eyes lit up. "Kel," she pleaded, "I would love to hear about the skirmish firsthand from you."
As Kel began to relate the story of the past summer, Neal felt the tension inside of him loosen now that his absence of attention was soon forgotten and he had been assimilated into the group with no further incident. Across the table, Neal caught Roald's glance and mouthed a silent thank you. The discussion continued on into the night and by the next candle mark, the group began to splinter apart. Looking around him, Neal was surprised to find himself only in the company of the familiar study group he had taken part in as a page. Raoul and Buri had long left to retire, and the happily acquainted Prince Roald and Princess Shinko had moved on to other entertainment for the evening. Kel and Merric still combated over the recent political strains with Scanra and the puzzling fewer clashes on the border. Prosper strove to mediate the debate, and, on Kel's right, Cleon vied for her attention.
A shift on the cushions beside him startled Neal from the action across the room, reminding him of the remaining person beside him, Yuki. Turning to face her, Neal unexpectedly found himself disconcertingly near and lost in a pair of deep brown eyes. Just as abruptly, Neal felt his insides turn to mush and his ability to articulate utterly escaped him. "Um… um… uh…"
The corners of Yuki's mouth twitched, and, ducking her face behind her hand, she extracted her fan to quickly hide behind. Yet even with brief relief from her mesmerizing eyes, Neal continued to mumble unintelligibly, searching for words that skillfully eluded him.
"Yes?" Yuki prodded kindly, her tone melodious and lilting.
Neal felt the red rise in his cheeks, knowing that he might as well be slobbering for all of his taciturn embarrassment, but despite his ardent wishes, he could not manage anything comprehensible with the skipping beats of his heart. "Uh…"
The mischievous twinkle in Yuki's eyes brightened. "Yes?" she asked again, this time more softly.
Neal blinked again and made a Herculean effort to steel his will. "Do… Did… did… you enjoy… your…yourself?" he spit out at last.
Yuki's outer comportment seemed to warm. "I have never had the opportunity for such discussion as tonight."
Slightly befuddled, Neal's eyes clouded. "You spoke so well on the subject. How do women learn such things then in the Yamani Isles?"
A long pause fell soon after Neal's words faded away in the air. While her face was serene as a lake, he was almost certain he discerned a troubled expression. "While we are excluded from the conversation of such things, Squire Neal," Yuki finally answered at last, "we are not directly forbidden from listening." She cocked her head slightly to the left as if to better gauge his reaction. After a considerable amount of time, she added, "Those who wish to learn will listen and learn for themselves."
Inside, Neal felt a curious feeling rise up inside of him and he was strangely torn. Tonight, Yuki had commanded a challenging knowledge of strategy. It seemed a crime that such a determined and apt person should be denied anything she desired. "While you are here," Neal suggested, "you should be certain to take advantage of the professors here at the palace. They would be pleased to have such an avid pupil. If you would like, I could speak with Lord Raoul, or maybe the King on your behalf." Looking up at her, Neal could tell Yuki was grateful.
"I thank you sincerely for your interest, Squire Neal," Yuki responded with a slight smile that was generous beyond Yamani standards.
"Neal," he corrected instantaneously, slightly dizzy from her smile, "just Neal."
Yuki donned her fan and nodded. Silence fell, and they both stared down at their feet, the wheels of their minds, working to find words.
A pair of thudding feet, echoed down the outside hallway and into the room. At the door, a red-faced young man clung to the wall, heaving for breath. "Neal," he called into the room before he gasped again. "You're missing all of the fun, you sourpuss! I thought I had the understanding that you were under obligation to make an appearance tonight."
Parted momentarily from his courting, memories of unattended mage party and his knightmaster struck sharp, dissident chords. Frightened out of his wits, Neal leapt to his feet, his green eyes hollowed out with fear. "Lady Alanna is going to kill me!" he screeched.
Kel, distracted from her conversation, laughed with amusement at his horror. "When isn't she, when she has such a Meathead like you for a squire?"
After the sound of more stomping feet, a second face popped out from behind the first. "Don't wooory," he slurred, "Numair is just gooina pull out the flame poppers… and weee'eerr ready to rumble." The boy gripped the doorway tighter as he made an even more precarious swing.
The first boy grew impatient. "So are you coming?" he asked.
Neal turned back to Yuki. "I offer my sincerest apologies, my lady," he said in a gentlemanly and contrite way, "but I did promise my knight master that I would put in an appearance at Numair's mage party. Perhaps it's time to retire? I would enjoy the pleasure of escorting you to your door, with your permission."
"Magic?" Yuki asked animatedly.
Inquisitively, Neal nodded his head. "If you desire, I would feel unequally blest this Midwinter if I had the honor of escorting such a beautiful lady to the party tonight."
Yuki blushed slightly crimson before she could reach for her fan once again. Her eyes sparkled with excitement and adventure.
"Neal," Kel's flat warning sounded before her friend could respond, "Yuki's not fit for that company of miscreants in the tower. They must be so drunk by now that she could be turned into a frog… or worse."
A side glance at Yuki proved her to be no more fearful at Kel's words. "Now, now, Mother Hen," Neal patronized, "I'll be sure to protect Lady Yukimi with a wary guard all evening and to return her safely home, on time and intact." He turned to the vision beside him and bowed before her, feeling a giddy bubble of unsurpassed joy rise up inside of himself as he extended his arm for her. "Shall we?"
At her nod, the two whisked away from the Book Room, never noticing the daggers Kel aimed at their backs.
Inside the tower of Numair Salamin's abode, the Midwinter party was in chaos. The antechamber was filled with tables of food, delights, and refreshments, liberal and otherwise. It was equally dusted with magical creatures that could have only belonged to Daine. Dancing flowers boogied in their pots and a wolf sat docilely in one corner. A basilisk chatted amiably nearby and a flock of sparrows roosted at the perch set beside the widow. Kitten, when she was not barbequing food, intimidated the guests with the sheer size she had grown to.
In the adjoining room, the party was at full swing, with hundreds of guests milling about, some young, mostly old. Neal even blinked twice when he thought he saw a senior healer get his groove on and disco and another shaking under the limbo pole. It was truly a night for crazy festivities and celebration.
Numair had outdone himself with his magical Midwinter decorations. A clear starry night lit up the ceiling, animated with shooting stars and things Numair called comets and meteors. Snow that never seemed to melt or accumulate on the floor fell through the air, adding a distinctive chill. The walls were disguised as deeper than they actually were, with a desert scene stretching before them, the coast on the North, and Corus to the West. Wisps of mist hung about the floor, and from a corner, an orchestra of instruments expertly performed the current and popular minstrel tunes of the year.
All around, everyone was singing and dancing, talking loudly in small groups. Occasionally, from different parts of the room, a stray spark of the Gift would shoot out or even a random explosion. Slowly cramming their way into the center of the room, Yuki stared enchantedly at the scene around her as Neal tried in vain to search for the host and hostess. To their right, the crowd parted as an imposing Numair and a petite Daine came through. "Queenscove!" Numair called out, his voice magically carrying to Neal's. "You finally made it."
Neal grimaced. "Numair," he greeted in return.
"Good Evening, Squire Neal," his old crush greeted. "Mithros bless this Midwinter. It was nice of you to come," she shouted over the noise. Neal smiled as he realized that the sound of Daine's voice no longer made him crazy.
"Lady Alanna was mighty worried that her skulking squire would hole up all winter. She will be glad you came. I see, though, that you've found a new object for your attentions." He bowed formally to Yuki. "Master Numair Salamin, at your service."
Neal muttered something under his breath as another man materialized from the crowd. "Glad to see you son," Duke Baird interjected, tilting a glass at Neal.
"You too, father," Neal yelled back over the loud commotion that had abruptly erupted from the anteroom. Numair and Daine both disappeared instantly in the direction of the noise as suddenly as they had come, expressions of concern on their faces. "Father," Neal continued, "I would like to introduce you to someone." He turned and motioned to Yuki, "Duke Baird of Queenscove, Yukimi, Waiting Lady to Princess Shinkokami. Yuki, my father, also Chief Healer."
Duke Baird smiled down at Yuki. "Pleased to meet you," he greeted as he bowed. Another explosion came from the anteroom accompanied by sounds of greater commotion. He strained around worriedly to find the source of the commotion, but turned back just as troubled. "Now, if you both will excuse me, I think I'll go and see if Numair needs my assistance. Mithros bless."
"Mithros bless," Neal replied as his father merged back into the droves of celebration. With a grin, he turned back to Yuki at his side. "So, do you like the party? Do you require something to eat?"
Yuki shook her head. "The party is wonderful," she exclaimed, "if not a bit too noisy," her hint not too subtle.
Neal nodded in agreement. "Shall we go out onto the balcony?"
He gently guided her to the South wall, and stuck his hand out for the familiar knob that would still be there despite all of the magicking. No matter how many times Neal had heatedly been sent by Alanna for lessons from Numair in this tower, however, his hands still fumbled as he searched for the door he was certain would be there. The magic too strong to dispel, his hand fell on a gilded knob after a brief but embarrassing old-fashioned search. The door swung open before them to a breathtaking scene of the sleeping city of Corus, one that even rivaled Numair's fancy and difficult magics.
Yuki sighed as she took a tentative step out onto the delicate and tiny balcony as Neal inconspicuously shut the door behind him. "This is Corus?" she asked softly, her eyes darting about her to take it all in.
Neal inclined his head as if to study it better. "Sure is… it figures that Numair would get the most breathtaking view of the Kingdom. It must be what keeps him here, not to mention Daine." He came up and joined Yuki at the rail, using it to brace his balance as he attempted to look farther out.
"I wish I could stay here forever." The sentence rang out clear, filled with hope and longing, telling more than he could see on her Yamani-blank face.
"Are you not?" he asked, instantly alarmed.
Yuki shook her head sadly. "I came to accompany Princess Shinko while she goes on Progress and to help her during her wedding. Once she has no need for me, I will be sent back to serve the emperor."
Neal felt objections bubbling over inside him, but he silenced them when he felt the anguish and melancholy in her voice. "You would not want to abandon your family, though. There must be some good in returning."
Yuki drew her gaze away from the buildings of the city sprawling before them. "What I have found here in Corus will be hard to relinquish shall I be…"
Neal met her eyes… dark brown, endless as the night, embodying more than any of the things he had ever read about in poetry. It was as if she saw right through him, no, no, into him, seeing him as he was.
"forced…"
Two brown eyes, one face pale as the moon, ebony hair swept elegantly back, and a kindred soul of an adventurous and precious individual were all that existed before him. For the second time that night, his insides turned to mush, his spine congealed into jello, and his ability to think and process yielded to the swelling of his heart.
"to…"
Neal could hear the blood rushing in his ears and the pounding of his heart that seemed to make the ground shake with it. Forces like magic filled the air between them, overwhelming him and drawing them together under the stars. Overtaken and defeated, Neal slowly closed his eyes.
"…leave," Yuki barely finished as they were drawn into a kiss and time seemed for a magical moment to stop.
The spell was broken as quickly as it had been invoked, leaving Neal reeling, his world spinning around him with the emotions that threatened to consume his system. Yuki ducked away, and an awkward and confusing silence rushed to fill where her presence had been.
Neal looked out to the stars from the opposite side of the balcony, the moment fresh in his mind. Inwardly he kicked himself for being foolish. Whatever friendship had been blooming between them was now certainly crushed with his preemptive kiss.
"Neal," Yuki called unexpectedly.
Neal's heart soared as from the other end of the balcony Yuki motioned him over as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred, and at the same instant, she blotted out their mutual embarrassment. "What is that?" she asked, pointing towards the silent explosions of color in the Eastern sky.
"Flame poppers," Neal answered dutifully. "Numair makes them."
She sighed. "Is it magic?"
Neal laughed. "No, it's not, although it seems like it is." As he came up beside her, he looked equally in awe at the display Numair had created. Explosions of green, teal, yellow, and gold flitted across the sky. A blue explosion took on the form of a magnificent dragon before it dissipated, and a subsequent red one drew a mighty red griffon. His attention was called from the sky as a tiny imperceptible weight on his arm grew heavier. Neal caught his breath as he realized that Yuki was leaning somewhat against him.
"Kel says that you are some kind of a mage." Her voice broke through the sounds of the night to spur conversation on again.
Neal shook his head. "Mostly, I am a healer," he amended, "It's what my Gift is best suited for."
Yuki inclined her eyebrows, quite liberally for a Yamani. "But you study to be a knight, do you not? You are not studying to be healer."
Neal shook his head. "Yes, and no. Years ago, I attended the collegium, where I studied healing, but I left." Neal was surprised at the slightly embittered tone in his own voice.
The head that had blissfully come to rest on his shoulder drew up to meet his eyes. "Why?" she asked simply.
Dwelling back on the past Neal shrugged. "I did not want to follow in my father's footsteps, I suppose. Studying at the collegium did not fit me- it was dull, stifling. The professors there were rotting; I felt worn down. I came once with my father to visit the palace and Corus. My brothers had studied to be knights, and before, I was not able to see why they enjoyed it so much. Coming here was like coming alive with all the fun and excitement. I wanted nothing more than to become a page, and study to be a knight…" he paused and gave a goofy grin, "so I could have all sorts of romantic adventures."
Yuki's head shot up. "Do you make light at the job of a knight? Do you enjoy the idea of slaughtering hundreds of people at the king's command? Do you prefer massacring people than healing them?" She backed away from him in disgust.
Neal's face went aghast. Inwardly he cursed his wayward tongue. "No, no… I was only… I mean that it's not like that at all. I still study healing under Lady Alanna, and I enjoy healing other people." The words came out in a rush to appease her. "I wanted to become a knight because they take action to protect other people. They are not trapped all day in a hospital. Killing and slaughtering are not all there is to riding as a knight."
Yuki's posture loosened, her face softening, and with it, Neal let out the air he had been holding in, recovering from mild suffocation. Making a mental note to keep in check his off-color, lighthearted humor, he let his thoughts wander a little more freely. "Did you know that as a knight we take a vow to protect people: the young, the old, the innocent, men, and women? We recite the vow when we first enter study as a page, at our Ordeal, and at our knighting. I think knighthood is the most noble of occupations." He gave Yuki a wink. "I feel completed knowing that I am helping all sorts of oppressed people and rescuing hapless damsels in distress…"
All the warmth suddenly vanished, as if by magic, from the night air, and Yuki drew herself up to her full height, taken quite aback. Realizing what he had just said, Neal wished with every iota he possessed that he had cut out his tongue like he had vowed years ago. Words of apology rose in his throat, but were not said before Yuki began her part. "What you really meant is that knighthood nurses your inflated ego! Is that what you think of all women, Squire Nealan of Queenscove?" she accused, hardening her glare. "Do you believe that we lead ourselves into impossible situations, fall into trouble, and need rescuing and defense? That we are helpless?"
Neal cursed his luck as he backed against the rail in abject dismay. "No… no…" he stuttered. "I only meant… It is just that of the two sexes… no, I mean, I mean that it's always been written that the traditional job of a knight… I mean, we have been men for so long… and women…" Wishing he was somewhere much farther away, he could tell that the further opening of his mouth only made the situation worse.
Yuki cut off his babbling. "It has always been a traditional job of a knight to what, Squire Nealan of Queenscove?" she jabbed. "Protect the weaker sex?"
His cheeks reddened as the blood rushed up to his face, this time in anger. Why was she attacking him like this anyway? Narrowing his eyes, Neal couldn't believe the scene before him, couldn't understand what he had done or said wrong to merit this kind of persecution. He had only been joking. At least his anger was able to clear his head of all the lovey fluff so he could articulate effectively. "You are putting words into my mouth, Lady Yukimi. I did not say that at all!" He hoped that throwing back formal titles would somehow annoy or disarm her.
Yuki's Yamani masked strained as her lips tightened into thin lines. "You clearly meant it. We do not all need your assistance, Squire Nealan of Queenscove! After all, Kel seemed adequately adept at saving your lives last summer."
"Posh!" Neal exclaimed, affronted that she would throw that in his face, "Kel is quite different…"
"Is Kel not a woman?" Yuki interrupted. "I think you would be surprised to find that there are many women such as Kel who could trounce you in a match."
Neal could only nod. "Of course not… I mean, of course she is. If you would only calm down…"
"Don't patronize me!" Yuki ordered. "I could beat you any day in a match!"
This time, Neal could no longer grin and bear her diatribe. He was stunned by her pretentious supposition. The color deepened in his cheeks as he felt the anger rise further and his blood boil. "You could not," he challenged back, insulted.
"I could," Yuki insisted softly, her tone tense, deadly. "If you dare, I challenge you to a duel."
Tickled by her attempt, Neal tried hard not to sneer, the kiss and his flowery feelings and notions of gentlemanliness far from his consciousness. He felt blindly angered that Yuki would take such an offhanded comment to such dire extremes. Caught up in his self-perpetuating anger, he accepted. "Fine, then! Have it your way! We'll duel in the practice yard."
"At daybreak," she answered evenly, no sign of any notion to back out.
Neal nodded, his gaze set like steel.
Satisfied, Yuki gave a curt nod of dismissal and turned towards the door, putting her hand on the knob.
"No!" Neal shouted, instantly contrite.
She turned back towards him. "Whatever is the matter, Squire Neal? Having second thoughts?"
Affronted, he backed a step away. "I never back down on my word… but, as I promised Squire Keladry, I thought it would be improper to recline from escorting you back to the residence halls of the palace."
Cool and condescendingly, Yuki turned full around and bowed from the waist, pulling up proud and strong, strikingly attractive in her kimono of burgundy silk embroidered with gold, her hair swept back in a bun held with chopsticks, and a fan tucked almost inconspicuously at her side. "I thank you, Squire of Queenscove for your magnanimous invitation tonight, but I do not require your services as escort. I shall manage efficiently in returning by myself. Until the morning." The door closed sullenly behind her.
Neal collapsed on the outside wall of the palace, marginally resisting the urge to scream, and he banged his head against it twice. So this was a Scanran winter headache. "I'm such an idiot!"
To be continued...
