FORE!
By: Stealiana
A\N: I do not own Transformers, and this uses the Armada characters. But trust me, you don't need to know a whole lot about Armada to get a laugh… I swear…
CHAPTER 1
"DING DING DING DING DING DING DI-!" Red Alert turns the buzzer on the kitchen counter off, sniffing the aroma wafting through the room.
"Hmm, delicious!" He carefully opens the oven door and peers inside. "Ahh, perfectly sugared and browned… HOT SHOT! Your cookies are ready!" He pulls out the cookies and wipes his hand on his pink frilly apron. Hot Shot runs into the kitchen, screeching to a halt.
Suddenly, without warning, the ground starts to rumble. Hot Shot gasps, his mouth already full of cookies. His eyes fill with fear, his arms instinctively protect his cookies.
"DECEPTICONS!"
The wall to the kitchen gives way as Megatron rumbles in, and his barrel turns in the direction of the two Autobots, Starscream following at his leader's heels.
"Hand over the cookies, Autobots!" Starscream demands.
"You idiot! Forget the cookies! We want the Minicons!" Megatron snarls.
"But, but sir! They're chocolate chip…" Starscream whimpers.
"SILENCE, YOU IMBECILE! I will not tolerate weakness! Now… Wait a minute… WHERE'S PRIME? Arrg… TRANSFORM!" He looms above the two Autobots, who both huddle to protect the cookies.
"DID I NOT SAY I DON'T WANT YOUR COOKIES?" With a single slap he sends the cookies flying, scattering them about the kitchen floor. Hot Shot instinctively cries out. Megatron leans in closer. "Do not make me ask again! WHERE IS PRIME?" Red Alert tears off his apron and throws it at Megatron.
"YOU BULLY! It wasn't enough that you had to burst into here when I was having a bonding moment with Hot Shot, but now you RUIN MY COOKIES! Oh, you should be ASHAMED of yourself!" Red Alert shakes his finger at Megatron's face. "Now you're going to be GROUNDED, mister, if you don't apologize to Hot Shot RIGHT NOW!"
Megatron cowers before Red Alert, before he mumbles a quick apology. Red Alert crosses his arms.
"That's better. Now, what do you want?" Starscream reaches out to pick up one of the cookies, but Megatron slaps his hand away. He leans forward, glaring at Hot Shot and Red Alert.
"Where is Prime? We have… business to discuss." Red Alert stamps his foot.
"Anything you have to say to him can wait! He's not here right now."
"Oh, he isn't, is he? Well, I'll just have to destroy you BOTH so he understands he should BE here when I STOP BY!"
Hot Shot finally musters up the courage to speak.
"He's at his ballroom dancing class. It'll be over at three." He picks up the cookie Starscream was trying to reach and munches on it defiantly. Starscream snarls as Hot Shot sticks out his tongue.
"BALLROOM DANCING TAKES PRIORITY OVER ME?" Megatron slams his fist into the wall. "THIS CANNOT BE TOLERATED! I WANT THE MINICONS AND I WANT THEM NOW!"
"PATIENCE, young man, PATIENCE! I swear, children these days…" Red Alert shakes his head, tapping his foot with disapproval. Megatron snarls.
"THAT'S IT! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!" He cackles evilly. "You cannot survive a round of Rock, Paper, Scissors, now CAN YOU! BWAHHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" Red Alert frowns.
"I will not participate in such childish activities! If you're going to keep this up, I'm not going to bake for you for a WEEK! A WHOLE WEEK!"
Hot Shot sits next to the pile of cookies he had gathered while the two argue. He turns on the TV, looking for some quality cartoons to accompany his treats. Starscream tries to sneak over and steal some, but Megatron kicks him back.
"Fine then," Megatron says. "How about… uh…" Hot Shot surfs past the PGA Tournament. "A ROUND OF GOLF!" The Leader of the Decepticons cackles deviously. Red Alert merely beams.
"GOLF? I'd love a round! Let me get my knickers!" He drags Hot Shot away from the TV. "Come on, Hot Shot, we've got to hit the links!"
"BUT MY COOKIES-!" Hot Shot whines, as Red Alert drags him to gather their clubs. Starscream tries to move towards the pile, but Megatron holds him back.
"Starscream… do you know how to play golf?"
"Uhh… no sir…"
"INCOMPETENCE! FOR THAT YOU CAN'T HAVE COOKIES FOR A WHOLE MONTH!"
"MEGATRON! THAT'S HARDLY FAIR!"
"Of course it isn't. Now GET ME SOME CLUBS!"
"YES SIR!" As Starscream flies off, he grins. "I'm gonna kick your ass onto the fairway, buddy…"
