FORE!

By: Stealiana

CHAPTER 5

Starscream yawns unceremoniously.

"Holy mother of Energon Cubes, what is TAKING YOU SO LONG?" Megatron's fist slams into the ground, leaving a rather large crater on the eighteenth green.

"Chill, dude! Like, I can't add double digits without a calculator, man!" Carlos attempts to defend himself. "So… 17… plus… 3… is…. Uhm…"

"20, moron." Starscream intercedes, his tone that of disgust. "Freakin kid…"

"Hey!" Red Alert whacks Starscream on the back of the head. "I will not tolerate such language!" Megatron scowls in Starscream's direction, quelling any continuation of the argument. All the Transformers sit silently, waiting for Carlos to finish counting…

"Okay! Got Hot Shot all totaled up… you're seven over par with an 83!" Hot Shot merely stares blankly back at Carlos.

"Is that good?" He asks, puzzled.

"Yea, dude! So rockin'!"

"HURRAY!" Hot Shot jumps up and proceeds to start his victory dance of the Hokey Pokey. "…You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around, that's what it's all abo-UUUUUUUT!" Hot Shot screams as he trips over Starscream's conveniently placed foot and falls into the pond to the left of the green, creating a tidal wave that engulfs Megatron.

"WHY YOU LITTLE BRAT! If I find that even so much as ONE of my circuits goes dead, you're gonna pay for this…!" The leader of the Decepticons fumes. Carlos keeps on adding.

"Okay… uhm…. Eighty…FIVE! That's for you, Megs. 85." Megatron pauses and suddenly his face cracks into a huge grin and he begins to laugh - softly at first, but ever increasing in volume. No one pays any attention as Carlos begins to add up Red Alert's score.

"Uh… 40… and 18… uhm… that makes… 58? And then… well, let's see…" Carlos' mumblings are now drowned out by Megatron's maniacal laughter.

"What's so funny?" Starscream demands.

"I WIN!" Megatron cackles. The others look confused.

"He hasn't even finished counting yet!" Red Alert argues. "Aren't your celebrations a bit premature?"

"I WIN!" Megatron repeats, a little more authoritatively. "My score is HIGHER THAN YOURS!"

"This is true." Starscream agrees, snickering as Hot Shot pulls himself out of the water. Red Alert rolls his eyes and sighs, as Carlos shouts in triumph.

"GOT IT! 79, man!" With a thumbs up and a cheesy grin, Carlos winks. "Way to be, dude!" Red Alert smiles triumphantly, turning to celebrate with Hot Shot.

"Together, that gives us a 162! I bet the Decepticons can't beat that!" Red Alert taunts. "I'm gonna bake a victory cake when we get back!"

"CAAAKE!" Hot Shot crows, mocking Starscream. The Decepticon merely glares back at the Autobot, ready to attack if provoked one more time.

"Dude, Starscream!" Carlos waves the scorecard around in a frenzy. "Whoa, man, you totally owned up the course! Only one over par with a 77!"

Megatron whacks Starscream in a fury.

"Ow!"

"YOU IDIOT!"

"What did I do?"

"HOW COULD YOU LOSE TO THE AUTOBOTS SO PITIFULLY?" Megatron lifts Starscream by the neck, ready to shake him till his wires disconnected. In vain, Starscream tries to explain that it was the LOWER score that won the tournament. Luckily for his programming, a girlish scream from Carlos ceases all plots of imminent death.

"This is impossible! You guys… TIED?"

The Autobots look at each other in dismay, while Megatron drops Starscream to look at the scorecard.

"Crap man!" Carlos pulls out his rulebook. "I dunno what to do if you guys tie!"

"Well, that's obvious!" Megatron snorts. "I WIN!"

"Oh will you shut up!" Red Alert pulls out his driver and solidly smacks Megatron in the back of the head. "I swear…"

"Uh oh, wait a minute guys." Carlos looks up, rather sheepishly. "I think I made a mistake."

"Hrmph!" Starscream muttered, rubbing his neck. "What else is new… all humans are MORONS!"

Carlos looks at Red Alert apologetically.

"Sorry, dude. I was supposed to take into account handicap."

"Handicap?" Red Alert looks confused. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, see, right here, it says: 'Subtract a players handicap from their total to figure out the total score.' And… uh… well, you're handicapped, man. I mean, dude, you only have one hand."

Red Alert looks thoughtfully at his left appliance.

"I suppose you're right."

"Yea, so like, I mean, I was thinking, since you only have one arm out of two, I should take away an extra stroke. Which gives you guys a 161 against their 162, meaning…" Carlos breaks into a hugely dorky grin.

"THE AUTOBOTS HAVE IT!" Megatron looks up from his scrutiny of the scorecard.

"WHAT? WE LOST BECAUSE HE'S A CRIPPLE?"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" Red Alert fumes, using his left appliance to slap Megatron across the face. "You say that again and I'm gonna open up a can of whoop-ass on your FACE!" Megatron and Red Alert glare at each other, the tension fairly visible in the air.

"I WILL NOT LOSE!" Megatron shouts. At that moment though, a huge Mac truck pulls up to the golf course, the rumbling attracting everyone's attention.

"TRANSFORM!"

"It's Prime!" Megatron hisses, his eyes narrow in anticipation.

Prime waves, making his way to where Red Alert is standing.

"I saw the note you left and headed over here as quickly as I could!" Red Alert grins.

"Don't worry, Optimus. We've got everything under control here."

"Oh, no it has nothing to do with that!" Prime laughs. "Although I'm glad to hear the Decepticons aren't giving you any trouble, the real reason I came was that my dancing instructor said that I was good enough to enter the Ballroom Dancing Competition on Moon Base 12!"

"REALLY? That's so wonderful!" Red Alert pats Prime on the shoulder. "Great job!"

"Well, there's just one problem!" Prime sighs. "I need a partner. And that's why I came. I was wondering if you could help me out, Red Alert."

"Ballroom dancing, huh?" The blue Autobot ponders this for a moment. "Sounds good to me! You'll do great!"

"Thanks, Red Alert! What say we all head back to the base now? It seems like you guys are done here…" Red Alert grabs Hot Shot by the hand and all three begin to make their way back. Carlos follows them, at last convincing Hot Shot to let him sit on his shoulder.

Megatron finally grabs Starscream by the neck again.

"I HAVE IT! GENIUS! Starscream, do you know what I'm thinking?"

"No… But I know I'm hoping you'll stop CHOKING ME!"

"Well," Megatron laughs maniacally. "We've lost today, but that doesn't mean we will surrender forever! I have another plan… since golf didn't work, we shall challenge them to BALLROOM DANCING!"

"WHAT?" Starscream protests. "Nu-uh, I am NOT doing that!"

"YOU WILL!" Megatron shakes him. "Who ELSE would be my partner!"

"What about Cyclonus? He looks WAY better in a dress than I do!"

"Hrm… you're right! Excellent suggestion, Starscream, I'm glad I thought of it." Megatron drops him.

"Now, get your sorry frame back to the base immediately! We have a great deal of planning to do…"

FIN

AUTHORS NOTE: A big thank you to everyone who reviewed my fic, you guys kept me from forgetting about this completely, even though I read it again and realized just how stupid the whole thing was XD! I left this ending in case I felt the urge to write a sequel - hehe, Megs vs. Prime, in Ballroom Dancing! You guys are the best!