SUMMARY: Harry gets hold of a time-turner and goes back to see his parents.
A/N: Ahh, sorry it's been so long since the last update! I guess Writers block is still lingering... sorry! It's pretty long, though! That's pretty good, right? Okay, well, here's chapter nine! Also, since I was in such a hurry to get this up, it's been un-beta'd, so sorry for any mistakes!!
James, Sirius, Remus, and Harry waited in the St. Mungos Waiting Room silently, hoping, praying Lily would be ok. Harry looked at James sadly. His head was in his hands, body hunched over in his chair, making Harry slightly alarmed, as it was so unlike him to be unmoving and un-energetic. Remus and Sirius paced around the room, and nothing could be heard but muffled voices from the other room, and the steady tick-tock of the Grandfather Clock. This had been going one for about a half an hour, ever since Lily had been rushed into the hospital... one of the most serious cases, as her baby could have been harmed. No one (As far as Harry knew) knew what curse had been placed upon her to put her in such horrible shape, but it had to be bad... or else they wouldn't have been so concerned when the people from Mungos had come to help everyone who had been harmed. Harry's thoughts were interrupted as a doctor came out of the room, looking solemn. James hopped out of his chair like he just found out a pin had been placed under him, while Harry stayed seated, worried about what condition she was in... he knew she would live, or else he wouldn't have been born, but still... the doctor began speaking, and he immediately cleared his thoughts.
"Well, your wife is fine," he said, addressing James. "But... but, the baby didn't survive. We don't know exactly what curse was placed upon her, but whatever it was, the pain was just too much for the baby to handle... I'm sorry."
James plopped back on his chair, and put his hands back on his head, in despair. His baby, his girl was dead.
"James, I--" Sirius started towards him, attempting to comfort him, but James looked up at him, cheeks slightly moist.
"Just--just leave me alone," he said, shaking his head. "Unless... is Lily awake?" He asked the doctor, voice breaking slightly.
"Yes, I do believe she is awake, and you four can come visit her... but only for five minutes. She's not in very good shape." The Doctor said, still looking solemn.
"Ok," James got up slowly, and walked into the room as if in a trance. Remus, Sirius, and Harry followed him in slowly. As Harry got into the room, he nearly turned a 180 and wheeled right back out. Lily wasn't looking very good. The only color at all in her complexion was the red scratches covering her face and arms, her red hair contrasting with her complexion and making her look especially pale. As James approached her and touched her arm gently, she talked softly.
"She... she's dead," Lily said, sorrow deeper than tears. "M--Maybe if I wasn't so weak, then I could have saved her... I'm so sorry, James. I knew how excited you were... it's all my fault. All my fault." She repeated.
"Lily, it's not your fault," James said, silent tears streaming down his face. "You don't deserve this. You've been through enough already... " He trailed off, and hugged her softly, as if she were glass. "I love you, and I loved our baby too, but you're the most important thing in my life, and I don't know what I would do without you. It's not your fault, none of this was."
Just then, the Doctor came in. "I'm sorry, but you need to leave now," he said to them. "It's been five minutes."
Harry, Remus, and Sirius got up and started to head out, but James stayed put. "Can I stay with her?" He asked, looking at the doctor. He seemed to know that James wouldn't go anywhere, even if he had said no, so he gave his permission to stay until Lily fell asleep.
The three others headed out the door quietly, and Harry saw Sirius and Remus looking just how he felt. Like he was either going to cry or pass out. He hated seeing his future mother and father like that... hoping, but seriously doubting that they would feel better soon, he joined the other two in the Waiting Room.
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The next few days were horrible for Harry and James. James spent most of his time in his room, doing who-knows-what, or at the hospital, visiting Lily, leaving Harry alone with nothing to do... he wasn't ungrateful, but, thoughts had been filling his head, wondering what would have happened if his big sister hadn't been killed. Would he have had a sister in his future life? Family? He tried not to cry as he thought of everything that could have been different if she would have been alive. He wouldn't have had to live for 11 years all alone at the Dursley's. Lily and James might have not even died. Sighing deeply, he got up and headed towards the door of his room, wondering what else was in the mansion. Just as he headed out the corridor and towards the Kitchens, he heard footsteps.
"James?" He asked cautiously, wondering if he was up and had gone to get a snack.
"Hi, Ro--Harry," Remus said, turning a corner and coming into view. He usually tried to call Harry by his real name when they were alone. "How's James doing?"
"Err... not very good. I've probably seen him once since we came home, and he wasn't looking very good," Harry said, sighing. "I just wish there was something someone could do."
"I know what you mean," he said, shaking his head. "I've never seen James like this before, not even when his parents died."
"Oh... " Was all Harry could think of to say. It was horrible that James was like this.
"Well, if you're wondering why I'm here, it's because me and Sirius visited Peter in the hospital... he tested another jinxed broom, and had to go back, and we visited Lily. She said that she found out what curse they put on her, it's a new one."
Harry felt butterflies in his stomach. "Is--Is she okay? What's the curse?" He asked, concerned.
"She's doing much better, but still sad about the loss of her baby, and the curse is called the "Crutacious Curse". I heard Voldemort made it up especially for torturing his victims, it's horrible... like the worst pain you could ever imagine for however long Voldemort or whoever decides to put it on you." He said, looking tired and weak. "I just feel bad for Lily, she doesn't deserve any of this."
"Well... should we go find James and tell him?" Harry asked, trying not to think about Lily in as much pain as the Crutacious Curse puts on people.
"Yeah, I think I know where his and Lily's room is," Remus said, and led Harry up a staircase, where they were going to tell James.
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"Wow... " James said slowly, sadly. Remus and Harry had found him in his room, lying on his bed, not changed out of his Work Robes from Moony's, unshaven and looking like he was in shock. "She didn't deserve any of this... and it's been all my fault... Voldemort said he'd kill anyone close to me, I don't even know why I thought she would live... " He trailed off, shaking his head hopelessly.
"James, it's not your fault!" Remus said, sounding exasperated. "We've told you this so many times... it's not your fault who you are!"
"Err... I'm sorry, but who are you, James?" Harry asked, wondering exactly what his father was.
"Well, you actually are too, Ron," James said, sounding slightly distracted from his current problems. "We're heirs of Godric Gryffindor... he was one of the four founders of Hogwarts."
"Oh... my... " Harry said, sitting on the edge of his bed, extremely shocked. "That--that explains a lot... "
"What, has he been after you too?" James asked, looking like he had forgotten about his own problems for a moment.
"Err... yeah, you could say that... " Harry said, still in shock. As he thought about all the things he had been through with Voldemort, and everyone thinking he was so special, it made more and more sense. In fact, he didn't know why he hadn't guessed it sooner.
"That's why I was so surprised about you, Ron," he said, still seeming like he had forgotten about Lily. "Because I thought that Voldemort had killed the rest of my relatives."
"Oh... err... I guess he hadn't," Harry said, kind of wishing the conversation would end. "So... do you think we should go visit Lily?" he asked, and immediately regretted it, for James face had fallen and he was looking sad and depressed once more.
"Err... sure... let me just change out of these old robes," he said almost mechanically, and got up to change, as Remus and Harry left the room.
"That was close," Harry said as they shut the door. "I'm not a very good liar... "
"Yeah, I can kind of tell," Remus said, raising an eyebrow at Harry. "But you knew you were the heir of Gryffindor before, didn't you?"
"I had no clue... " he said, shaking my head. "But I can't believe I had to be told... after all the things that have happened to me... "
"Well, James has been through his share of pain and heartbreak too," Remus said, sighing heavily. "This isn't the first bad thing that's happened to him, and I'm sure it won't be the last, either, from what you've told me."
"No, it's not... " He said, shaking his head. "I just wish there was a way I could save them and have Voldemort killed... "
"Well, I'm sorry, but I don't think that can happen, Harry," Remus said, and he was about to continue, but James came out of the door just them.
"What can't happen?" He asked, looking puzzled. "And why did you just call him Harry?"
"Err... no reason," Remus said. Apparently, he was as bad of a liar as Harry was. "Let's get going, shall we?"
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As they reached the hospital (A/N: Heh heh... this is the first one of these I've done in a LONG time! Anywho, in both of my stories Lily is in the hospital due to the Crutacious Curse... kinda funny, huh!) Remus led the way to Lily's room, James following closely at his heels, and Harry following about a foot behind, still in shock about him being the heir of Gryffindor. It had been so obvious... why didn't he see it before? What, with everything that had happened with the Goblet of Fire, how he had actually been in Voldemort's layer and barely escaped just last year, and everything about his parents and how he didn't have any living relatives on his dad's side. Just then, he was shaken out of his trance, as James and Remus had just entered a room, which was obviously Lilys.
"Hey," James said softly, sadly, as he approached her, as if he would hurt her ears if he talked normally. "How are you?" He asked, sitting on a chair next to her bed.
"They say I can leave in a few days," Lily said, attempting to put on a smile. "I'm doing a lot better, but even after I get home, I'm going to need a nurse for a few weeks."
"Just as long as you're home," he said, and bent down to give her a kiss on the cheek. "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too," she said, and kissed him. "But... I keep on thinking... it would have been so much happier around our house if we would have had the baby around... I think I've decided what I wanted her name to be."
"What is it?" James asked, and Harry could see that both of their eyes were shining with tears.
"Celeste," she said, and a single tear fell from her cheek. "Celeste Angela Potter,"
"It's beautiful," he said, and took her hand, giving it a soft, reassuring squeeze.
"It's not fair," Lily said, a few more tears leaking out. "She didn't deserve to die."
"I know," James said, wiping the tears from her eyes, smiling through his tears. "I just don't know what I would do if I had lost you, too. I love you."
"I love you too, James," she said, and shut her eyes tightly, trying to blink back the tears trying to squeeze their way out. "I just wish... I just wish things had been different."
"Me too," he said softly, and kissed her forehead softly. "me too... "
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Wooh hoo! I'm done! *dances* Okay, it wasn't the longest chapter on earth, but it was over 2,000 words, so that's pretty good, right? Right. Okay, onto the thank-yous.
Skipastarseeker: Okay, I'm REALLY not going to end this story. It's like an obsession now. I HAVE to finish it!!! It's only about halfway done, though, so it's going to be another while. Anyway, thanks for reviewing!
GoddessOfChaos: sorry, but I can't tell you! 'Cause then I'd ruin the whole story and everything… so yeah. And I don't want to ruin the story, because then no one would read it, and I don't want that to happen. Well, thank you for reviewing!
Lili: ::hugs:: Thank you! Your review boosted my self-esteem! I'm glad that I'm your favorite author! Sorry it's taken me so long to update! Thank you for your review!
Ellen: Sorry it took me so long to update! I hate writers block… Thanks for reviewing!
Raven: Thanks! I'm glad you like it!
Cristi: She's not dead! She'll be out of the hospital soon, k? Just don't hurt me! ::cowers:: just kiddin'! Thank you for reviewing!
Padfoot: Woah… that was a long review! But I promise I won't give up on this story, because then that would just be rude, right? Right. Wooahh, you say dude? So do I! But I hate saying dude… I was making fun of some guys saying it and then I was hooked on it. It's SO freaking annoying… dude ::winks:: just kidding! Well, thanks for reviewing!
Lily potter: Well, you know now! I hope you were satisfied with this chapter! Thanks for reviewing!
Bubblegum*girl: Aww, your screen name is so cute! I don't know why, it just… is ::shrugs:: Well, thanks for reviewing!
WeasleyTwinsLover1112: Heh heh, thanks! I'm glad you like it! Thank you for your review.
CrazieBabyMeg: ::hugs:: Thank you! I seriously got so much positive encouragement from everyone this chapter, you guys are all great!
Aiya: Heh heh, I'm sorry! I just love cliffies so much though. I really should stop before it becomes a disorder or something, yeah, that would suck. Anyway, thank you for reviewing!
Lily: One word. CRAAAZZZZYYYY!!!!
Wildrazberry: Heather and Lily, you SCARE ME!!
Okay, well that's it! You guys are great for all the good stuff you said about me in reviews! Can we PLEASE try for 18 reviews? Please? ::gets down on knees:: I REALLY want to try and average 10 reviews a chapter, and I want to catch up, so ppllleeeeaassseee ::puts on puppy-dog face:: even if it's just one word, like "good" I don't care!
