Title: Deceiving happiness

Disclaimer: I don't own Sendoh Akira.

Author's notes: This is a Sendoh's POV, it does not tell a story, just a

thought. A thought that goes through the mind of our smiling Ryonan's ace.

Warning: Kinda insane. Depressing.

Why is everyone smiling?

Why are they smiling even though deep down inside their hearts

They are crying

Desperately crying for help?

Why is it so that everyone tend to act like they are very happy.

When deep down

They are sad

Very sad?

Why am I like them too?

Deceiving myself

Deceiving others.

Why must we put up on a happy front when we know that we are not happy?

What is the reason?

I am not happy.

But yet, I smile.

Why am I smiling?

Why am I deceiving myself as well as others?

Everyone else thinks that I'm truly happy.

But I am not.

Not happy at all.

And deep down

They know it too.

Still, they chose to believe.

Believe that I am happy.

Am I really happy?

Or am I sad?

It is so confusing.

I could not even figure out my feelings.

What is the definition of happy?

What is the definition of sad?

I want to be happy.

That's why I smile?

Is that so?

If yes, is that why I deceive others by smiling and acting happy?

To satisfy myself?

Mask.

I'm wearing a mask.

A mask that satisfy myself.

A mask that satisfy others.

Others who are like myself.

Others who are longing for happiness.

We are acting

Act to satisfy

Satisfy ourselves

Satisfy others

Satisfy everyone

Sad

Why can't we be happy?

Because we are never satisfied

And we are not satisfied

We act happy to satisfy ourselves

Though we can never ever be satisfied

Because we are never happy

Never truly happy

From deep down our hearts