Chapter 9: Another Detention
Harry and Ron had been hiding in the broom cupboard for three hours. "HARRY! QUIT
TRYING TO PUT YOUR HANDS DOWN MY PANTS! I'M STRAIGHT!" Ron yelled angrily.
"You know you want it, Ron..." said Harry.
Suddenly the door opened. "Harry Potter! Ron Weasley! What are you doing?!" said a
shocked Hermione. "I thought I meant more to you... than your friend..." she started to cry.
Ron and Harry said at the same time, "Hermione, wait! It wasn't like that, I really do like
you, this is a misunderstanding..." they trailed off, then said, "You mean YOU slept with her too?"
Hermione slammed the door on them, and wailed, "No wonder if you switch around the
letters in Harry Potter you get throat pryer... waah!"
"What the hell?" said Harry.
"And if you scramble around Ron Weasley, you get lawyer nose! Waah!"
"Hermione, you're making no sense," said Ron, angrily. "Lawyer nose?"
"Waah!"
"Stop crying, Anger gnome hirer!" Harry commanded.
"Yeah, green mango hirer!" Ron joined in.
"Shut up!" cried Hermione. "I don't hire gnomes or mangos!"
"You rehearing monger!" Harry shouted. "Let us out!"
"Greenhorn mirage!" Ron exclaimed to Hermione. "This is kind of fun, actually.
"You regime-run nog-her!" Harry shouted, just for the hell of it.
"You sound so stupid. I'm leaving now." Hermione stopped crying and left.
Ron and Harry got out of the closet. Dobby appeared, floating down from the ceiling.
"HARRY POTTER MUST DIEEEEEE!" screamed Dobby, clutching a bloody kitchen knife.
"Run, Harry!" said Colin. "Dobby has had too much house butterbeer again and is killing
everyone in sight! I'll hold him off, and you run!" Colin grabbed a nearby pillowcase, and began
to fight it out with Dobby, while Harry and Ron ran.
"Let's hide in here!" pointed Ron. They both ran inside a nearby trash can, and closed the
lid on top of them.
Just then, Dumbledore walked by. He opened the lid. "That is the most predictable hiding
spot ever, boys, you'll have to do better than that to get out of Detention."
"Ok, Professor, we will." Ron and Harry ran to a nearby mailbox. "Is this good enough?"
"Better, but not quite." Dumbledore commented. "You see, we wizards have no need of
mailboxes, thus your hiding spot is dysfunctional and irrationally placed in this story."
Harry and Ron watched as the mailbox dissolved around them, and ran. Dumbledore went back
upstairs to his office.
The juvenile delinquents found refuge under a nearby rug, until the janitor came to sweep
up. Harry and Ron ran away to the transfiguration classroom, and hid behind a magical flowerpot.
Professor McGonagall came in, and picked up her magical flowerpot. "Oh, my!" she
exclaimed, staring in awe. "I didn't know that this type of flower was blue, all my previous
samples were red! I'll ask Professor Sprout about this."
Harry the blue flower whispered to Ron the enchanted dirt. "Red, you dumbass! Red!"
Ron the enchanted dirt quickly changed Harry the blue flower into Harry the red flower, but not
before McGonagall noticed. "Potter! Weasley! Aren't you supposed to be in detention?"
The two changed themselves back and started running, until they bumped into Filch. "You
delinquent students should be in detention by now..." Filch started chasing after the two, until
they bumped into Hagrid.
"Ey, Yer two're supposed ta be in yer DT right now, Arry!"
With McGonagall, Filch, and Hagrid all chasing after them, Harry and Ron had run out of
options. "Quick, behind this gargoyle!" shouted Ron, pointing to a statue. "We'll hide in here!"
The two crept behind the statue, which led to a curving case of stairs. After climbing for some
time, they found it led to a door. They opened it.
"Welcome, Harry, Ron." Dumbledore said calmly, turning around in his chair. Harry and
Ron realized that they had just run right into Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore got up from his
chair. "You seem to have had enough struggle trying to avert it, so I will consider your detention
served." he said. "Ron, you may leave. Harry, stay."
Harry watched as Ron ran out the door. "Dumbledore, you're not planning any perverse
Headmaster-student bonding activities, are you?"
"Of course not, Harry." Dumbledore muttered, hiding the leather whip and handcuffs
behind his back. "I just need to tell you something. Something I should have told you a bunch of
years ago..."
