Chapter 16: Mommy Malfoy



"It isn't fair." whined Harry. "Hermione got to slap him, you tried to curse him, Barty Crouch jr. turned him into a ferret and his dad turned him into a house elf over the summer for his own entertainment! So why can't I curse him?"


"Well Harry," said Ron. "you shouldn't curse Malfoy, because remember when Buckbeak gave Malfoy a scratch? The poor animal almost was killed! Even if everyone else curses the prick, you still shouldn't do it. If Hermione didn't hate him--" whatever Ron was about to say, Harry would never know.


"I wouldn't be so sure of that, Weasel," said Malfoy evilly.


"What were you doing with my girl?" bellowed Ron, trying to look tough.


"Your girl, Ron? She is my girl," shouted Harry. "I'm the hero and the hero always gets the girl. The side kick is almost always killed in the end so that the stupid people watching it finally realize that the guy with the evil laugh and black cloak is evil."


"Well, whoever is her boy," said Malfoy in a drawling voice. "I put the Imperius Curse and made her make love to me, probably something that neither of you have ever done with her."


"Hey, Malfoy!" shouted Hermione who had seemed to have appeared behind their back. "It seems that you got me pregnant. Transpotus myus babyus intous youus! Haha! Enjoy being a mommy, Draco."


"Get back here, Mudblood!" shouted Malfoy in such a high pitched voice that the group of second years passing by stared. "My father will hear of this, I shall have my revenge!"


"Oh, I wouldn't tell your father, Mommy Malfoy. You would get dumped in Azkaban if people found out you used the Imperius Curse. Oh, the maternal student section is on the left of the nineteenth floor, near the statue of Bob the boob. Oh, Harry," said Hermione now looking at him. "I don't want you cursing the carrier of my child, you can curse him after he gives birth."


"Okay Hermione."