Chapter 20: The Eyes
Harry fell down a long time through the trap door, until he finally landed on top of a large plant.
"Oh, no! A Devil's Snare!" said Harry, who quickly lit some flames to make it go away. Then he
found a giant troll, who he stuck his wand up its nose and killed it with his patented Barney-inducing spell. Then he came upon a giant chess set. "This seems too repetitious for comfort..."
he mused, easily winning. Then he found a bunch of potions, with a riddle underneath them,
reading;
"HAHAHAHA, Harry Potter! All of these potions are poison, and since I lit magical fire over
both doors you will never leave alive! HAHAHAHA! Signed, Voldemort."
Harry shrugged, and climbed out the window, wondering what the hell Voldemort was doing
mixing potions when everyone knew that he failed Potions class miserably.
Voldemort, who was sitting on the ceiling, watched Harry easily evade his plan. "So... a smart
one, eh? Well, let's see how he handles... this!" he said, using his patented Teletubby-inducing
spell on Harry, who was just about to climb out safely.
"AAAAH!" screamed Harry, held tight by the neon overweight monsters. "HELP ME,
SOMEONE! VOLDEMORT!!! IF YOU DON'T MAKE THEM STOP I'LL TELL EVERYONE
ABOUT YOUR SECRET BUNNY RABBIT FETISH!"
Voldemort quickly made the Teletubbies stop, drawing them back into his wand. "Harry... you wouldn't."
"I would, you dirty bunny-humping perv!" Harry yelled, getting to his feet, clutching his wand.
"You'll be dead before you'll ever see another sunrise!" said Voldemort, dramatically.
"Expelliarmus!" Voldemort caught Harry's wand. "Now, without your wand, you stand no chance
against me. Now--"
Harry pulled out a revolver, shooting Voldemort in the knee. "If you're going to shoot someone,
shoot, don't talk!"
Voldemort magically healed his knee. "Your wand of metal is of great power, Harry, but I must
finally reveal the secret that I, myself, have been keeping. It is about your mother, Harry."
"What about her?" said Harry, his green eyes flashing. "If you say 'I am your father, it'll be
soooooo lame."
Voldemort stared at Harry's eyes intently. "I wasn't going to." he mumbled, trying to think of
what else to say. "Harry... you have... your mother's eyes."
"Everyone says that." said Harry, his green eyes going purple. "What about it?"
"They aren't your eyes, they're hers." Voldemort muttered, walking closer to Harry, reaching his
hand out. "Her magical eyes of power... I must have them... they remind me of my sweet Lily...
and besides they look awfully cool."
"No way!" said Harry, his eyes going red. "These are my eyes!"
"Lily gave them to you just before she died. She wanted you to have their power..." reminisced
Voldemort, flashing back to the fateful day...
****
Lily was holding Harry. Voldemort was standing above her, his long wand pointing up and in his
hand. "Lily, give it to me..."
"Don't you mean 'him,' Tommy?" Lily said, frightened, clutching baby Harry.
"Lily, resistance is pointless. Now turn around and do it!" he said evilly, his long wand pointed
toward Lily.
"Eek! Stop!" yelled Lily. Seeing that Voldemort was either going to kill Harry or kill her too, she
pressed a button on the side of her head. Her green eyes popped out. "Here, Harry!" she yelled,
popping her eyes into his eye sockets, and using the old ones for chewing gum. "Take these
magical eyeballs, so that you will be safe from all evil eyedrops!"
Voldemort pushed Lily down, brandishing his large wand. "Now, Lily. Die!" He killed her, and
tried to kill Harry, but didn't and you know the rest.
****
Harry stared in shock. "You know, Tommy, your wand isn't that long."
Voldemort pulled out his wand. "It's bigger than yours will ever be! Anyway, I mean my magic wand."
Lil' Kim and 50 cent popped in, signing "I've got the magic stick... what! what! Magic... I got the
magic stick... I know if I hit it once... I hit it twice... I got the magic stick..."
Voldemort killed them both. "NOT THAT KIND OF MAGIC STICK! I mean a magic wand!"
"Uh huh, sure." said Harry. "I can understand if you have stature problems, but really, Tommy."
"DON'T CALL ME TOMMY! ONLY LILY CAN CALL ME THAT! AT LEAST SHE
APPRECIATED MY MAGIC WAND!"
"Why? It's just a wand." said Harry, obliviously.
"Not that kind of wand, Harry." said Voldemort. "I still haven't told you the other secret, other than the one about your eyes being Lily's." Voldemort prepared to divulge the secret....
