Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, I don't even own the story line. This is a response to Severitus' challenge. And I want you to know that I am not being paid to do this

A/N: Well I loved to read these challenge ones, so I decided, what the heck let's do it.



Chapter 2 ---- You've got it bad

Pacing was actually quite a tiring job, just pacing and thinking, thinking what to say. Still after fifteen years he had had to brood on it, to except it, he still hadn't fully excepted it. He was the father of probably the most famous wizard in the world-next to Voldemort and Merlin. Leaning heavily on the table he looked in the mirror and closed his eyes.

How on earth he Severus Snape came to be Harry Potters father, they'd probably be quite a few stories. 'He had to sleep with Lily for some special mission for Voldemort.' But it was nothing so complicated as that. In fact the simplicity of it all was something of a farce for a once renowned Death Eater.

But still he paced; if the spell weren't beginning to wear off Snape wouldn't have even thought twice on telling any body the truth let alone Harry. But if he had found out by other means that Harry was being beaten, then would he have told him? Asked if he could take Harry in? Snape didn't know. The idea of Harry living such a life was awful, all fourteen years Snape had thought Harry lived a good life, probably spoiled rotten. And during the years when Harry had been at Hogwarts Snape had made up excuses for his anger towards Harry, how he was supposedly James' son, how he had all this attention and Snape was only trying to get his feet on the ground so his head didn't swell.

He knew that Harry hated the attention he received, knew that he'd do almost anything to get rid of it, the fame and especially last years press coverage. He knew that Harry had no romantic interests what so ever towards that Granger girl, he knew all that.

However the anger that was produced when seeing Harry //was real. // But the anger wasn't directed at Harry, but at Snape himself. How he could have created this child. And for that he hated himself.

Pacing still he began to say some things on how he could tell Harry the truth.

'Harry the reason you look like me now, is that I'm your father,' no, that sounded too…too something. 'Harry, you might be noticing some changing in yourself…' no that sounded like he was giving Harry sex ed. ' Dumbledore never told you what happened to your father…' he just laughed at that one. After many a go. He decided on one.

'Harry, around sixteen years ago now, your mother and I met in a pub, we decided to a bit of catching up. But…I'm sorry, but that ended badly, I woke up next to her, and then a couple of months later she told me she was pregnant with my child…with you.'

Of course Harry would probably interrupt him, a few times, so hopefully it wouldn't be so direct and such a blow. Jesus, how was he going to go through with this?



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"Lupin, I can't do this." Snape said, that was all he said. Lupin looked up from the Ravenclaw fifth year homework he was marking, and sighed.

"You have to Severus, and you know you do. You can't hide it from him forever."

Snape shook his head and smiled a hint of hysteria touched oh. "Oh yes I can, watch me. Don't you see, he doesn't want to know, he's happy not knowing."

"So he's happy being naïve? Look Severus I understand and I agree with you partly. But what if Harry was somehow to find out?"

"How?"

"Oh I don't know how, it doesn't matter. But what if he was, how do you think he'd feel. Betrayed. Believe me Severus, that boy has had enough hurt by betrayal. He can't have anymore by people he thinks he trusts."

"But he doesn't trust me."

"He does partly, he trusts you enough to know that you won't actually hurt him. I heard that you saved his life during his first year."

"That was different…that was repaying a debt."

"A debt to a dead person. You didn't have to do that, you could have pretended to be naïve to the jinxed broom. But you didn't, and Harry knows that. Deep inside. He may dislike you greatly but he trusts you…to a certain extent. What about me and Dumbledore? I can't know and not allow Harry to know, I just can't."

Snape shook his head and bit his lip, "I couldn't just let him die, he is my son after all, I just couldn't."

"Yes but Severus in case you've forgotten Harry doesn't know that you're his father."

Snape gazed at Lupin with a pleading look in his eyes, still biting his lower lip so much that it almost bled. "Why don't you do it then?"

"No, you have to do it. It has to be you. But if he doesn't know by Christmas, then I will tell him, but I suggest that you get it over with."



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Harry slid down the bathroom tiles, not knowing what to do. He pulled down the bottle of shampoo and gave his hair yet another coating. After that he rinsed it and made sure he did it thoroughly. At first he thought that he wasn't getting all of the shampoo out of his hair but now… it was becoming greasier virtually by the day. Hardly anyone was noticing, but Harry still wanted to make sure it looked clean

God forbid he even missed his rat nest, now it was a lot tamer but a lot greasier. Again he slid down the tiles, and found that he could no longer keep in the tears of worry. You just don't wake up one day and start changing in front of the mirror. Maybe that was what puberty was all about. But no this was different this was…it was as if was changing into somebody else. It was as if he wasn't Harry anymore.

Once he had had his shower, he got into his pyjamas and climbed into bed. Leaning over to his bedside table he pilled out the leather bound photo album Hagrid had given him at the end of his first year. There he looked at a photo of his father. Before he had looked so much like James Potter people said he was almost identical to him. Not anymore. It was if he wasn't James Potter's son anymore. Like he was somebody else's. Putting the album away he laughed to himself. "That is the stupidest thing I've ever thought up."



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Dreams haunted Snape that night. Lying naked on the grass, with Voldemort caressing his skin. Snape couldn't fight him it was as though he had been drugged. But then he found he wasn't. He found that there was just nothing left to live for.

Finally after what seemed an age, Voldemort got off of him and held up a boy. It was Harry. "Why didn't you tell me father, why didn't you?"

"I'm sorry." Snape tried to whisper, but he found he couldn't even more his mouth. In fact he couldn't moved anything. Couldn't even stop Voldemort killing his son.

He woke up bolt right in a cold sweat. He looked at his watch, six thirty, so he had a shower and went down to breakfast. There to most people's surprise he sat next to Lupin, who was just finishing up. "I'll do it at the end of the day." Snape whispered.

"That's the spirit."

"But I want you there, he'll probably kill me or something. Not like I could blame him."

Lupin nodded and got up, "He's got you last thing yes?" Snape nodded. "I meet you in your office after that. And prepare for some grovelling."

"Oh I'm prepared, very prepared…I think."

That potions lesson wasn't fun. Harry kept giving him questioning looks, but then again maybe it was just Snape bring paranoid. But because of that he found it dam near impossible to actually concentrate on teaching the class. Longbottom even melted another cauldron and the whole class was surprised that he didn't give Longbottom a detention.

Snape waved his wand to get rid of the purple potion that covered the floor and every one had to stand on their stools to avoid getting covered in boils. Longbottom who had got completely drenched in the potion had to be escorted down to the hospital by none other than Snape himself.

But there he bumped into Lupin who was checking over some things for the next full moon with Poppy.

"Heavens what happened here?" she asked.

"Cauldron melted." Snape answered for him. Longbottom whimpered.

"Oh hello Severus, Neville, oh dear." Lupin said. "I think that you should take priority over me Neville."

Poppy took Longbottom away and he and Lupin were left alone. "He's looking at me weird." Snape said.

"Who is?" Lupin asked, "Harry? Now really Severus, you're just being paranoid. Then again maybe he is suspecting something…"

"Oh shut up." Snape told him sharply turning around biting his fingernails. They waited for Longbottom in silence and when he came out Lupin spoke to him.

"Did he give you detention?" Neville shook his head; Snape watched, anger fluttering across his face. "Really," then to Snape, "Going a bit lax are we Severus?" he went back to Longbottom. "He tries to be mean, but really we all know that he's just a bit fluffy puppy with bad teeth."

"I think that's yourself you're talking about Lupin."

Lupin raised his eyebrows at the boy. "I will see you tomorrow Neville, and you after your class Severus."

Snape bowed stiffly at the next and left with Longbottom. The rest of the lesson was uneventful and when the class finished and every one was piling out as fast as they could.

"Potter, a word if you please." Potter sighed looking as though wondering what he had done now. "You're not in any trouble stop looking so frightened."

He relaxed a little, but Snape had to put down his quill to hide he shaking hands. "My office."

He led Harry into the dingy little place that was Snapes' and they waited. Around five minutes later Lupin arrived, and smiled slightly at Harry.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked.

It was Lupin who spoke first. "We have something to tell you. I think, Harry, it's best if you sit down."