Chapter 22: Back at Privet Drive


"Get in there!" shouted a purple faced Uncle Vernon through the crack in the door that he was trying so hard to close.


"No!" replied Harry. "I must go find Hermione and make her fall in love with me!"


Pig then flew in Harry's window and said in a mysteriously high-pitched voice, "Harry Potter must not go back to Hermione."


While Harry stared at the door in curiosity Uncle Vernon closed the door and quickly locked it. "Hah, now you shall live here forever!"


Harry then ignored his uncle and turned back to Pig, "But I must go back to Hermione and make love with her, this summer I shall go to her house and we shall become far too close for Ron to pry apart. What are you doing here anyway?"


Pig then sat still and stuck out his leg "I have a letter to you from Ron."


Harry took the note from the owls leg and read it


Dear Harry
I have lost *one of Harry's fans* and now you shall lose your girl. Hermione is mine.
Ron


Harry then went under his bed and reached into the lose floorboard there he found among his pornography collection, a calendar to mark the days till September the first. The rest of the summer was to be the oddest of all summers at the Dursley house.