Lancelot Redeemed

Morose or merry, cursed by ugliness,
Or cursed by too much beauty and pursued,
Cursed by the warrior strength that brings success
He cannot credit to his rectitude:
With blood of Arthur's kinsman Gareth spilled
In battle-madness on his hands, he grieves,
Fears if he spurns his sin he will have killed
Life's meaning for the lover he bereaves.

Whatever strain of Gallic sentiment
Leaves him unguarded, weakened him to be
Trapped, and tricked without his own intent
By magic out of his virginity
(He knew not then in whom his seed was planted),
And from that safeguard into peril led,
Or into marriage with Elaine, enchanted
By Morgan's black arts into Guenevere's bed.

His free will, trampled underfoot, lies maimed,
Neglected, crippled, crushed, but not to death,
And when it rises yet again, reclaimed,
The stab of broken ribs makes every breath
A torment of self-knowledge, till the eyes
Of reason close in faintness, blessed sleep,
Dark, bestial oblivion that lies
But lightly on his heart, his soul to keep.

The Holy Grail of absolution stays
Forever out of reach, though dimly seen,
As long as from necessity he weighs
The bitter, sterile choice he holds between
Decaying Druidism's unyielding fate
And dead, corrupted Christianity,
In which desire alone condemns, too late,
To endless penance all humanity.

He who would ask forgiveness and repent
Must know there is forgiveness to be had,
A loving God to grant its sacrament;
And in his searing shame must know how glad
His Maker is to hold him close, to bind
His wounds and wash his feet, to make him whole:
No longer torn, his undivided mind
Will lead him out of sorrow to his goal.

The motive he thought dead has just begun:
His given name and idealistic spark
Live on through Galahad his firstborn son;
The years of chastity have left their mark,
Told in the message of the angels, those
Who heave him up to heaven as it seemed:
Each man whose love of marriage overthrows
Adultery is Lancelot redeemed.

Iris Lefay Longbottom 5/98
Inspired by T. H. White's /The Once and Future King/
And Marion Zimmer Bradley's /The Mists of Avalon/

AN: Although White's Lancelot is ugly and Bradley's is beautiful, I found the same essence in both of them, the same conflict, which I tried to capture in this poem.