A/N: Here it is. It is over, finished, done. This is the R version of the chapter. The NC-17 version can be found in Snapeslash and in siriusblack_severussnape Yahoo groups as well as in my livejournal (link in my profile). It has not been beta read and it shows. If you offer feedback and I don't reply, do not be surprised, I will be avoiding the web until my copy of OotP makes it here (around Monday or Tuesday at the very latest, I'm told) Thank you for following this story .
I provoked him ceaselessly. I took no pains to muffle the sounds of my vigourous wanking at night, I would arrange it so that he would 'accidentally' catch me at it… I tried everything and failed.
I stopped after a while. Gave him some room, you could say. Or just decided that I had to spare myself. I focussed on what we were supposed to be doing there. I talked to Justin for hours, his impromptu therapist discussing it all, from his change to his troubles with girls, his difficult relationship with his parents, his struggle to reconcile the Muggle and the Wizarding World. I started keeping some distance from him after a compassionate hug to the sobbing lad got quite a different turn wit his lips fastening themselves on mine. Snape had then pointed out to me sourly that we were there to help Justin and not seduce him.
The first night he couldn't stay through it all. Justin was screaming as claws replaced his black painted nails and his large chin elongated to a snout. The scrawny boy made for a scrawny wolf, nothing I couldn't handle. I held him down while Snape approached to get the blood sample he needed. Just then the wolf snarled and Snape froze. I smelt his surge of fear and could not suppress a primal excitement. That thing that was Justin was rather vocal about its excitement. It was hard to keep back the wolf without hurting him and Snape… Snape was just staring at us, all colour gone from his face. No question of getting the blood, of course. I tightened my jaws around the wolf's throat, a quick thought passing through the part of my brain that I still occupied about how Dumbledore would not be too pleased if I strangled his student. I would have done it, though. I definitely would have if Snape hadn't finally woken up from his trance.
I left with Justin. He didn't particularly like me but he had to submit to me, recognising my superior strength. I don't remember too well all that went on that night. I led the boy back at dawn. Hunting with him had earned me his respect and some affection. He licked my muzzle. He smelt of blood, a large brown hare we had cornered and sportingly shared. Padfoot quite liked the smell.
I left Justin in his room to sleep it off. Naked and bloodied on his bed, like an assault victim. At least it is not his blood, was all I could think. Not like Remus had been that morning James and I had snuck to the Infirmary under his coat, determined to find out what was wrong with our friend. We had already seen the scars… Scar upon scar on the slight body that no healing charm could remove fully. How had he explained them to Snape later on? I find it hard to believe that Snape hadn't seen him naked in the month (months?) before I discovered them and took it upon myself to show Snape exactly what he had been shagging.
Snape… it all comes back to Snape.
I followed my nose to find him in the dark house. The door to our bedroom was half open and I easily slipped inside. He was on the bed, apparently studying the ceiling. Just as my simple dog brain started puzzling over what the hell catatonia is, he turned to face me.
"Don't transform," he whispered.
I did not think a canine was what he wanted to see right then but I obliged him. Slowly I approached him and sat on my hind legs, next to his bed.
"That went great, didn't it?"
I wanted to say that there would be other opportunities but all I could do was lower my head, as though I had any reason to feel ashamed.
"Is he all right?"
I nodded.
He reached until his fingertips were touching my head. I arched into the absent-minded caress while Padfoot's heart fluttered wildly in his chest. I had known… suspected for quite a while that this part of Padfoot that James and then Harry alone had owned from day one, had opened up to let in Snape. It was a guilty feeling, dogs only have room for one master. Padfoot had resisted with all his might.
That night Padfoot hadn't had a chance. Snape was drunk… drugged… perhaps both. The fingers were gentle on my fur and that voice was speaking to me softly. I was tempted to just slip into this primal place where all I could hear was the sound of his voice and not his words.
It would be better that way. I didn't want to hear what he was saying. How it had hurt. How he had hated us both and James even more for saving him. How he lost all respect for Dumbledore and then fucked up his life completely. Just blaming everyone else for his misery, as usual. Eventually we both fell asleep until well into the day.
Justin woke us up to tell us that he'd be coming back to Hogwarts. Padfoot had decided at some point that the floor was too hard and his own bed too far away from his master's and was curled up on Snape's feet. Snape did not find it particularly funny.
Justin's parents came to say goodbye to him bearing Christmas gifts and many awkward wishes as they tried to determine whether we were pagans. Snape seemed to be preoccupied thinking of the upcoming long and uncomfortable train journey until I pointed out to him that we'd simply get to London and from there on take the Hogwarts Express. The thought had improved his spirits considerably. To say that he is not fond of Muggles would be a gross understatement.
Justin's mother had not stopped snivelling since she had gotten to the cottage. She thanked me from the bottom of her heart for all I did for Justin. She hugged me… or rather clung to me quite forcefully and I had to wonder whether appreciation of my good looks ran in the family as she fluttered her wet lashes at me while I gently untangled her. Snape was with Justin's father but had not missed the scene and gave me a disgusted look. I don't know what Snape was saying to the tall man but that was a rare gentleness in his tone that had forced me to reconsider his anti-Muggle sentiments.
So we got back to Hogwarts victiorious. Justin was well-received by his fellow Hufflepuffs and most students of other houses. I had a room to my own again, Snape had his sanctuary back and Remus' memory lurked everywhere in the castle ready to punch us in the stomach anytime. I was holding on well, I had a purpose, "win over Snape or bust."
It wasn't the same for the object of my affections. Especially not since he could no longer seek oblivion in his little bottles as Dumbledore had indirectly informed him, not if he wished to stay employed.
No longer competing with his calming potions I offered him my own oblivion. Again and again, certain that at some point he would succumb. I was seeing less of him than during the holidays but we still had to work together to help Justin.
They say the criminal always returns to the scene of the crime. For me it was the second time back to the site of my failed attempt at murder. I had tried to talk Pomfrey out of picking the Shrieking Shack for Justin's change but hadn't gotten very far. How long would it be before the secret would be out again? At least Justin only had two more years to go. In fact, we were tutoring him, hoping to have him finish school along with the rest of his year. Tutoring him in Transfiguration had not been a particularly pleasant experience. It was not that he didn't put an effort, quite the contrary. I just could not be patient with him not to mention that whatever lust-filled daydreams I seemed to provoke in him tended to shoot his concentration straight to hell. In the end I had relegated my duties to Hermione. Justin had appeared crestfallen at first but as he later told Hermione, who told Ron, who told Harry, who told me, Snape tutoring him in Potions was bad enough and he could do without my Snape impersonation in Transfiguration.
Snape was deathly pale but calm as he witnessed Justin's transformation. I could smell his fear, mingled with Pomfrey's. She seemed to be keeping an eye mostly on Snape rather than on Justin and myself. The young beast fought hard under me as Snape got what he needed. The plan was to leave Justin there, no hunting in the Forbidden Forest for Padfoot and his new Moony. I felt bad for the boy yet did not object when Pomfrey locked him inside.
I found Snape in his rooms. I offered him once more my oblivion, a good drink and a good fuck in front of his fire and as much as he initially refused the second part of the package, glass after glass of firewhiskey changed that.
Perhaps he thought it was the drink talking, or a combination of drink and lust as I whispered to him that I loved him and that he was mine now, all mine. So I repeated it, lying next to him on his bed, I whispered it against his nape.
He turned around under me, pushing my head back a little to meet my eyes.
"Yes," he said. And what kind of way was that to reply when someone tells you he loves you? Yes? Yes I can tell?
The selfish bastard just pushed my head low apparently in need of some oral attention. And even though I wondered where my pride has gone and whether I will ever recover it, I gladly complied.
