AUTHOR'S NOTES: Here's my first Shaman fic, and it features the pairing YohAnna. In This story it may seem that Yoh is out of his character, as he thinks negatively, unlike the sunny and carefree Yoh we all have known in the series. Anyway, I just did it for a certain reason in the story… and for you to find out, just read the fic!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Shaman King!!!
FREEDOM
A fan fiction by FiendisHSerapH
"You're beautiful…"
These words, these two words that made her angry at me a few years ago. His tiny compliment she received with much anger in her heart, needless to say, causing physical pain on me…
But, is it only physical? No, I think not….
I yawned softly as I lifted my heavy eyelids that cover my lazy eyes. The blue skies tided my view. Ah, those clouds, those clouds are free to move, free to say what they want to, free to do what they really wanted.
Unlike me
It is freaky, but I do think that I am not free. I am being restricted by Anna. I am forced to do what sometimes really don't want to. All these hard trainings make me miss bumming and lazying around too much. She controls me, she moves me forcedly. Even my friends were also being forced to do what they aren't supposed to--- chores, those painstaking chores which Anna herself should have been doing on her own. She's a girl, and there's no way she can force boys like them to do such girly jobs.
But the DO follow, and I don't know why, and how. Even I, myself follows her every command like a tamed dog, or a puppet perhaps. Is it because of her fearful attitudes (and punishments), or is there something else?
Sometimes I want to give up on her. Sometimes I just wonder why did the heavens and the spirits that maneuver the earth and its beings give me such a fearful itako like her. An itako, such a cold and uncaring girl like her. Does heavens hate me? Did the gods very much dislike me as a shaman that they gave me such a "punishment"?
Arrrghh, it just hurts and I think I can't hold on.
No, don't get me wrong. Yes, I want to train and stuff but no, not through this physical punishment and deprivation of the things I really, REALLY loved to do --- just spending quiet time here all alone, watching the world go by, and listening to my favorite tunes on my walkman. Oh boy, how can I explain? I mean, I want to train to be the Shaman King, but not as hard as this girl puts up on me. Brrr…. I hate….
"YOH!" I heard the voice once more in my life. That voice that commands me, controls me like an invisible thread that ties my limbs and the ends being moved about by her.
"A---anna." I flashed her my winningly sheepish grin as I looked at her form above me. She seemed to be angry… yes, she is ALWAYS angry, and it's all because of me. Actually I really hate her being angry at me… and I sometimes feel guilty about it. I rolled off the grass and sat up, still looking at her.
"Why?" I asked, my voice seemed to be hiding behind my throat.
She stared back at me, her cold eyes shooting daggers at… no, wait. She isn't angry. She had this look of compassion, the look that I rarely see at her face. Her eyebrows twitched and she finally stated," Lunch is ready…" She turned back, then added, "Better hurry or the food will get cold." In her usual expression then walked away.
Oh my, I thought that it would be such a harsh beating by then. But no, it isn't Lucky me! But now, my stomach's growling so, LUNCH!
-OO-
There was such an uninterrupted silence over the dining table. Ryu and Manta weren't here and I wonder where they went. Anyway, Ryu's cooking had always been delicious so I think I should skip the part of appreciation…
I fixated my eyes at the itako before me. Boy, she is so quiet. But no, that timidity hides poison inside. She isn't quiet because she is timid, she's such because she doesn't care about me…. And I really hate that. She doesn't seem to uncover her feelings deep inside She seemed to be cold, and so cruel indeed. I sometimes think, in my solitude, that she want me to be the Shaman King so that she can share the wealth and fortune with me… that's why she is my fiancée! That's it! She just wanted to share the wealth and fame of being the shaman king's first lady., and nothing else… nothing personal and sentimental..
My heart aches for that.
She stood up and left me in her usual cold statement. Yes, and here's my job: fix the table, wash the dishes, and train the whole afternoon. Brrr… creepy. And yes, the same routine repeats itself before my eyes day after day after day… *sigh* No freedom, no carefree (bumming) time, no own free will… that's what my life with the scary itako is made of.
-OO-
After washing the dishes I went outside to begin my whole afternoon of strenuous training when I was surprised when I saw Anna sitting at the place I've sat onto before I ate lunch. It's such a rare occasion when Anna bums around outside. I took my courage and faced my fear of being hit by her fist and decided to approach her.
"Hey…" I uttered my first word as "hey" instead of a friendly and sheepish "hello". Talk about my fears.
Anna said nothing and stared at the skies. To my surprise, she moved a bit to her right and patted the space beside her. It's such a rare move so I'd better not miss it. I took my seat beside her and also stared. We did nothing. The scenario stayed like that for a few moments when…
"Yoh" She called out, and I was surprised.
"Umm?" I asked back.
"May I…" She hesitated, but went on. "… borrow your…walkman?"
HUH? Is this for real? Is she? Is she borrowing my stuff? Okay, I told myself, maybe she's way too bored around the house, so I decided.
I removed my headphone but instead of just handing it to her, I placed it gently on her head. She looked back. At first I thought that it'll be war but I was wrong. Her eyes made a slight twinkle, and I don't know if it's just my imagination but I think she kind of smiled. Then she settled down and listened intently on the music, as if she had never heard anything like it before.
I just fixed my eyes at her and stared. Her blonde hair was being tossed b the soothing afternoon breeze, her pallid cheeks slightly heated by small patches of sun's rays brought about by the tree above us, her eyes closed, and her senses focused on the beating music in the headphones. Yes, this is such a rare moment with the fearful itako and trainer, yet I just stared, my mind lacking of words to be said in front of her.
"Yoh… about the Shaman Fight…" Anna blurted out, her eyes still closed. It's enough for me to get back to this world, yet I still stared. Such beauty that I'd never noticed…
"Oh, that? Don't worry, I can handle it…" I grinned sheepishly, just like the old me she usually sees. I smiled, but deep inside I wonder why she remembered. Ugh, maybe by this moment she will be whacking me again because she wants me to train the whole afternoon, or maybe she'll extend it up till midnight for I bummed yet again this morning. She opened her eyes and looked at me, which made me draw aback and lose my breath. She had this unmistakable look of empathy, which I had been seeing, only for today anyway.
"I… I…" She stuttered about, as if she had speech difficulties.
I stared in question.
"I am… I am worried for you… Worried, Yoh." She finally finished the sentence that had seemed to take eternity for her.
WORRIED? Did the fearful itako just day that she's worried. A new word in her vocabulary, when did she learn it? I creased my forehead in question.
"W…what did you just….say?" This time, I think she passed her speech difficulty at me.
As If awaken from a trance, her eyes suddenly flashed up and she stopped, then looked away.
"Oh, none… N-never mind that…" She turned away, but I can see a slight flush creeping up on her cheeks. I just softened my statement and slightly smiled. Everything that has happened today had been rare. A rare opportunity, a rare chance, and now, a rare Anna that I think will unfold before my eyes this rare moment.
I looked at her, and missed the whole world once again. I just realized that even though she had been the fearful itako and trainer that I had known, she is still my fiancée, the one whom destiny had chosen to be my wife in future time, and I know that I can't escape destiny's dance, right? Even though she seemed to be so fearful and cold, she still had some heart in her. Maybe sometimes she's getting out of bounds when it comes to training but I know… she's doing the best that she can for me to be a great shaman. And she does this because she's worried about me, so that means she really IS concerned about me. I looked at her once again and soon had the rushing thought that the reason she's giving her best for me to guide me is that because she puts much trust in me that I will win. I will win the Shaman bout and I will be the Shaman King… and she will be my queen. Now I have seen the unseen. I now realized that I have been blind to not see the other side of all the torture and deprivation Anna had been giving me all the time. Now Anna's other side is clear. For all I see then is the cold and cruel itako who seem to punish me every day of my life through torturous trainings… but now I see her as a concerned girl, a very competitive and cunning trainer, and most of all, a loving fiancée, even though it really isn't obvious.
And now I can understand why I had a thought of those bad things about her. It's simply because of those two words that I failed to convey to her since we were just kids, the words which she took as an insult rather than as a compliment. And so…
"Anna…" I called.
She then turned the volume knob at its lowest and stared back at me. This is my prize of being a shaman, and she is right in front of my eyes.
I reached out to her cheek and said,
"You're beautiful…"
Upon that, I was surprised to see her dump my headphone carelessly at the grass, stood up and coldly replied, "You thought I forgot all about your training this afternoon. Well, to tell you, I haven't." with that, she turned heel.
"Ah yes, she really IS Anna Kyouyama, my fiancée." I grinned inwardly, stood up, dusted my pants, and walked to the training grounds.
Well I can say I have regained my freedom, for today at least… *sheepish grin*
OWARI (The End)! I hope to see your reviews on the reviews page. Oh, don't post flames, pretty please? This is my very first time writing a Shaman King fic, so forgive me if I messed it up. Thank you.
