"Kalcor exists?" Giles asked.
Buffy nodded. "According to Anya, he does, but he is pretty hard to find. Somehow Spike did find him and now, he is trapped inside his own mind unable to get out until he fights his demons."
"I have to agree with Willow on this," the watcher said as he raised himself up on the bed. "Maybe its a good thing."
"How can you say that?" Buffy knew there was no love lost between the watcher and the blonde vampire, but still, he couldn't let this happen without helping. Could he?
"Buffy," Giles said as he took off his glasses and carefully wiped the lenses, "this is Spike we're talking about. You are wanting to help bring him back. Maybe he has had his chip taken away by this demon and maybe not. Can we really take the risk that he has had it removed? Do you want to be responsible for unleashing him back into the world as the demon he once was? And if he is that demon again, could you kill him?"
"I killed Angel," she said in a small voice.
"Yes you did, but remember what it did to you."
"That was different," Buffy protested. "I loved Angel and it almost destroyed me when I sent him to hell. We're talking about Spike. I don't love him."
"But you do have history with him whether you want to acknowledge it or not," Giles paused. "Buffy, you slept with him. Whatever reasons you had is your own business. I'm just saying that maybe you do care for Spike more than you want to admit or you wouldn't be feeling this way."
Buffy knew he was right. She did feel something for the vampire. What it was, she hadn't been able to label yet, and maybe she never would, but it was nothing like the feelings she'd had for Angel. Angel had had a soul, and had been her first love. Spike was just a vampire with a piece of machinery in his head that kept him under control. Without it, he'd be just another demon. Without it, he wouldn't love her anymore and he would kill her the first chance he got.
"Its all my fault," she whispered.
"No its not your fault. Whatever Spike's done, he did it because he wanted it, not because of you."
Buffy shook her head. "If I hadn't rejected him... If I had been able to love him..."
"He would have still done it," Giles said. "Spike is a demon. You know how much he hated being, for lack of a better word, neutered by that chip. He would have found a way to get rid of it one way or another."
"But I forced him to do it," she said looking up at her watcher with tearfilled eyes. "All he wanted was for me to love him."
Giles smiled kindly at the torn girl. "All he wanted was to be a demon again. You must stop blaming yourself Buffy."
"I will," she said wiping her eyes. "When I get him out of it."
~*~
"You're joking?" Xander exclaimed. "We're finally rid of Spike and she wants to help him come back?"
"Its not that easy Xander," Willow said. "She feels like she is to blame and she owes it to him to help him out of his coma."
"Well I for one think we should be celebrating," Xander smiled. "Ding dong, the blonde vamp's gone..."
"Xander! We have to figure out how to help Buffy, not joke about things."
"Sorry Will. Just feel like partying."
Willow took a deep breath. "I know you have your 'issues' with him. The whole 'him sleeping with Anya' probably top of the list, but he did do a lot of good and did help us all through some pretty hard times. Maybe we do owe him something."
"We owe him nothing but a stake through the heart," Xander snapped. "He is a murdering monster, or have you forgotten what he was?"
"I haven't forgotten. I just think everyone deserves a second chance. You're giving me one aren't you? And Anya...vengeance demon. She killed and cursed men for over a thousand years and is doing it again, and you still love her."
"That's different," Xander said softly.
"It's always different when it's someone we love. Buffy is determined to do this and we have to either support her or butt out."
There was a determination in the redhead's eyes that scared him. She was going to be there for Buffy whether he was or not. And if he wasn't, he could tell that he would have to keep right out of it...or else. He knew she was right. Anya was a demon again, and he did still love her. But this was Spike. It was different, wasn't it?
"And anyway, Anya said it would time to summon the right guide for Buffy," Willow continued. "Just don't make her feel any worse than she already is right now."
"Why did you have to drag Anya into it anyway?" he asked.
"Because she is the only one who knows about Kalcor and this kind of stuff," came a voice from behind them.
"Buffy," exclaimed Willow. "When did you get back? And how is Giles doing?"
"He's getting better," she replied. "And he agrees with Xander. He thinks I should just leave Spike to do this on his own."
"You should," Xander said.
"Maybe, but I can't."
~*~
His own : "...the big bad is back...back...back..."
Xander : "You're not even kinda naughty..."
His own : "Every slayer has a death wish... Even you..."
Angelus : "A good kill. It takes pure artistry..."
His own : "A fella could get used to this..."
They were haunting him. Not just the voices, but faces now. Nameless shadows of the hundreds he'd spent his demon life feeding from. Their screams, the begging, the prayers of the dying all rang through his head along with their agonised faces. The guilt was unbearable.
Slayer : "Tell my mother I'm sorry...sorry...sorry..."
His own : "Sorry luv, I don't speak Chinese..."
~*~
The Magic Box looked like a shop again. Xander kept his word to Anya and spent his evenings fixing it up. He had built new shelves, new cabinets and had found a strong counter made of marble. He had roped in some of his friends from work to help and because of the extra help, the work had been completed quickly. The results were amazing. All that was needed now was painting, decorating and new stock for the new shelves. Luckily Willow's attack hadn't touched the storeroom under the shop where extra stock was still sitting safely on the shelves.
"I hope Anya likes this colour," Willow said as she slapped the deep blue paint on the walls.
"I'm sure she'll love it," Buffy replied.
"It is pretty," Willow agreed.
"Alright. I have contacted the suppliers and new stock is on it's way," Xander said as he joined him.
"That'll make Anya happier," Buffy smiled.
"I hope so."
"How could she not? You have this place looking great," Willow said, putting down her paintbrush.
"Still needs a table though," Buffy said. "Somewhere for us to gather around, talk, research...like it was."
"That's all taken care of," Xander said. "I found one and it'll be here tomorrow."
"Wow, you really are Mr Action aren't you?" she laughed. "I think it's great how you've done all this for Anya."
"I didn't do it just for her," he replied. "I did it for all of us. We all need this place. It keeps us together."
Buffy looked around the shop. It was like a second home to them. They had had the library in high school, then Giles' home, and now, the Magic Box. It was somewhere where she felt safe. Xander was right. They did need this place.
"Have you heard back from Anya yet?" Xander finally asked. He hadn't seen her since that night when things had been almost normal between them. Since the night when Buffy went to help Spike.
"Not yet," she replied. "But she did say summoning the right guide would take time."
"Its been two weeks Buffy," he said. "How much longer is it going to take?"
"I wish I knew."
"If you do see her, bring her back here," Xander said. "She should see this place now."
"I will," Buffy replied.
She left Willow and Xander painting.
~*~
"Any change?"
"Argh," Clem yelled, jumping out of his chair.
"Oops, sorry," Buffy giggled. "I didn't mean to scare you Clem."
"You didn't," he huffed. "I was yawning. And no, no change."
She walked slowly over to where Spike lay on his bed. It had been two weeks since Clem had found him like this. Two weeks with him trapped in his own mind with whatever hellish memories and dreams he had collected throughout his many years as a vampire. She sat beside him feeling helpless.
"Where are you Anya?"
~*~
"It cannot be done," the demon hissed.
"But you have done it before," argued Anya.
"Says who?"
"Its carved all over your temple's walls," snapped Anya. She'd been arguing with Icelus for days now and the demon was still not willing to serve as guide for Buffy.
"Ah," Icelus paused. "So maybe I have guided others through the world of Kalcor's price, but no-one has ever returned. Why would your friend's be any different."
"You are talking about other demons. It's the slayer who is wanting your services. She will return and bring Spike back with her."
"The slayer," Icelus chuckled. "I would be greatly rewarded if I sent her into Kalcor's price and left her there."
"But you won't," Anya said in her most threatening voice. "If anything did happen to Buffy, I would hunt you down and the worst vengeance I have ever taken would be nothing compared to what I would do to you."
"You would take the slayer's side over one of your own kind?" Icelus asked.
"In a heartbeat," she replied.
"Very well," he said. "I will guide this slayer of yours through the price and if she is as strong as you say, I will bring her back."
"I will be in touch," Anya said as she vanished.
"I will guide her," Icelus said to himself after she'd left. "But she will never succeed. No-one ever has."
~*~
The painting was done...finally. A tired Xander and exhausted Willow looked around themselves.
"Wow," was all Willow had the energy to say.
"Wow indeed," Xander yawned. "It really looks good?"
"It looks more than good. It looks..."
"Incredible."
They turned and saw an awe struck Anya standing behind them.
"Anya!" Xander exclaimed. "There's new stock coming and I have ordered a table and...do you like it?"
The demon had tears of joy her eyes as she walked around her shop, her fingers trailing over the marble countertop.
"No-one has ever done anything like this before ever," she smiled through her tears.
Xander grinned. He had made her smile. Maybe things had finally moved on between them.
"So I was thinking, big reopening bash," Willow said.
Anya and Xander laughed. Trust Willow.
"Shall I order the nice mystical balloons?"
"Order the balloons, streamers and everything Wills," chuckled Xander. "This will be the greatest reopening in history."
He thought that would make Anya happy. Something to take her mind off the past few weeks, but when he looked at her, she was no longer smiling.
"Anya? What's up?"
"I found Buffy a guide," she said.
"So soon?"
"He's the only one who has been inside Kalcor's price and been able to come back." She paused when she saw the look on Xander's face. "Nothing will change her mind Xander. The best we can do is make sure she has the best guide available, and Icelus is."
"Icelus..." Willow mumbled. "Why is that name so familiar?"
Anya sat down. "Icelus is an Oneiroi. A dream demon. He lurks in dreams and draws his strength from them. He can twist them around and turn them into nightmares. But he is really quite harmless."
"There's no such thing as a harmless demon," Xander said.
"Spike is," Willow replied. "And that friend of his. The wrinkly one."
"Clem?" Asked Anya. "He's not exactly harmless. He is a Stelan demon. Quite vicious, nasty things really."
"But he seems so cute and sweet and cuddly," gasped Willow.
"There's always an exception," Anya said.
"And Clem certainly is exceptional," laughed Xander.
The girls joined in the laughing as they put away the paint things. Soon they had a nice, clean shell of a shop. All it needed was the stock.
"I'll start bringing up some things from the storeroom," Xander said.
"I'll give you a hand in a second," Willow yelled to his retreating back.
"Sure you will," he shouted back.
She watched him disappear before she asked Anya her next question.
"Are you sure Buffy will be ok?" she asked.
Anya sighed. "Nothing is certain Willow. All I know is that with Icelus guiding her, she stands a better chance of going in there and coming out in one piece."
"And there is no-one else who can guide her? What about you?"
"I am a vengeance demon," Anya said. "She needs someone familiar with the dreamworld to guide her. Now if she wanted vengeance on someone, then I am your demon."
"I guess you know what you're talking about," Willow smiled softly.
"Sometimes," Anya smiled back.
~*~
Buffy left Spike with Clem and slowly walked back to the Magic Box. Until she heard back from Anya, sitting beside him for hours would achieve nothing but increase her sense of guilt. Nothing mattered anymore but helping Spike. God knew he'd helped her enough.
She knew that maybe this wasn't the best way to help him, but there was no alternative. Giles and Xander had made their arguments and feelings known, but in the end, it was her choice and her decision. She would do it alone if she had to. The thought of wandering around in Spike's dreams and memories scared her more than she would admit to anyone, but she'd faced many things over her short life as a slayer and she'd always come out on top. She had to believe that this time she would too.
She stopped as she reached the Magic Box door. Maybe she should just go home and get some sleep. Tonight, she didn't feel up to another night of Xander's accusing looks and Willow's equally guilty eyes. At least Willow's guilt was her own. She had been doing a lot better over the past weeks. She still had her rough patches when the loss of Tara hit her hard, but she channeled the grief into something productive. She knew how much the Magic Box had meant to Tara and helping Xander fix it up gave her something to do to take her mind of that loss, as well as the guilt she felt being the one who had caused the destruction of the shop.
After taking a deep breath, Buffy opened the door and walked inside. The shop looked amazing. She stood unable to move as she looked around at all the work her friends had done. She had been there to watch Xander at work and had helped with the painting, but the finished product was breathtaking. Whilst she'd been with Spike, they had stacked the shelves with the stock they had had in storage and had put the books back on the new library shelves Xander had built especially for that purpose.
"Guys," she gasped, "this is amazing."
"Buffy," exclaimed Willow. "You're back."
"Why wouldn't I be?" she asked.
"I thought...Spike," Willow said quietly.
"There's nothing I can do there," she replied. "I need to be doing something, anything."
"I know that feeling well," Willow smiled.
Buffy smiled back at her. "Any sign of Anya?"
"Oh, yes," Willow exclaimed. "She's downstairs with Xander checking on the stock. Actually, they have been down there for quite a while now and there wasn't that much stock left. You don't think they are...?"
Buffy's smile grew. "I hope so. It would be good for something to go well for someone for once."
"Shall I call them up?" Willow asked.
Buffy shook her head. "Leave them."
"Giles called," said Willow changing the subject. "He is being discharged at last. He was grumbling something about finally having a 'decent cup of tea' for once."
Buffy laughed. "That sounds like Giles. It will be good to have him back here though."
"Yeah it will," agreed Willow. "Do you think he'll stay here or hurry back to England?"
"I don't know," admitted Buffy. "I'm hoping he'll stay."
"Somehow I don't think chocolate chip cookies are going to make it up to Giles," Willow sighed.
Buffy wrapped her arms around her friend.
"He understands Willow," she whispered. "You were going through something none of us could imagine and so you flipped out a little..."
"A little? Buffy, I tried to kill him. That's not something you can forgive so easily."
"You all forgave me. Trust me. Everything is going to be ok."
"Buffy, you're back."
"I am indeed," Buffy said looking over her shoulder.
Xander and Anya had finally emerged from the storeroom carrying yet more boxes of stock.
"Well you sure took your time," Willow said as she wiped her eyes.
"We couldn't find the...mandrake root," Xander replied blushing slightly.
"Mandrake root huh?" smiled Buffy.
"Yes," said Anya. "It had moved."
"Come on Xander," said Willow grabbing the box off Anya. "Let's get to work."
They moved to the other end of the shop, leaving Buffy and Anya alone to talk.
"I found a guide," Anya said before Buffy could ask.
"How soon can we go?" Buffy asked.
"Icelus needs time to prepare," Anya said slowly. "He'll be here tomorrow."
"Icelus. He is a demon?"
Anya nodded. "Dream demon. He can move in and out of dreams and he has entered Kalcor's price once before."
"Was he successful?" Buffy asked, dreading the answer.
Anya bit her lip. "No he wasn't. The subject and the one who went in to bring her out were lost forever in the dreamworld of Kalcor's price." She paused when she saw Buffy's face pale. "But they were insignificant demons, not a slayer. You are strong enough to fight through this and succeed. Icelus is the best guide for this kind of journey. I wouldn't have chosen him if he wasn't."
"I know Anya," Buffy said in a small voice. "I'm just..."
"Scared."
She nodded. "I was going for terrified."
"You can still back out," Anya said gently. "You don't have to go through with it."
"Yes I do. I can't leave Spike like that."
Anya looked away. She watched Xander joking around with Willow as they stocked the Magic Box shelves. Would Xander do something like this for her? Her heart hoped he would.
"You should get some rest," she said finally, looking back. "You are going to need it. And you have to tell Dawn."
Dawn. She had completely forgotten about her sister. She still thought Spike was away. Buffy hadn't been able to tell her that he was back, in a coma-like state that he might never return from and that she was going into it to try to bring him out. After all they had been through, she had promised not to shield her anymore, but this was different. The way Dawn felt about Spike, she would never let Buffy go in without her. How could she explain this to her? Things had been going great between them lately. This was going to be a setback.
"I have to work out what I am going to say to her first," Buffy said. "She's never going to forgive me for keeping this from her is she?"
"She'll get over it. You were only looking out for her."
"But I made a promise that I would stop doing that. I promised her that I would tell her everything. Stop keeping secrets. Stop being so overprotective."
"So you slipped up. Everyone does."
Buffy smiled at Anya. "I hope she is as understanding as you," she said.
"She will be, and if not, ground her," Anya smiled back.
Buffy managed a small laugh. Anya always had such a simple way of looking at things. Most of the time, it was annoying and irritating, but this time, she made sense.
"You're right," she said. "Anyway, I had better get home. Giles is coming out of hospital tomorrow." She looked at her watch. "Ugh, today. I should make sure he has somewhere to come home to. We'll talk more later."
Anya nodded.
"Don't stay at it too long," Buffy called to Xander and Willow as she walked towards the door.
"Almost finished," Xander called back.
"Want me to come with you?" Willow asked.
Buffy shook her head. "I'll be fine," she said. "I need some alone time to clear out my head."
"Ok. I'll see you soon," Willow said, turning back to the shelves.
Buffy watched them for one more minute before she opened the door and walked out into what might turn out to be her last night in Sunnydale.
Buffy nodded. "According to Anya, he does, but he is pretty hard to find. Somehow Spike did find him and now, he is trapped inside his own mind unable to get out until he fights his demons."
"I have to agree with Willow on this," the watcher said as he raised himself up on the bed. "Maybe its a good thing."
"How can you say that?" Buffy knew there was no love lost between the watcher and the blonde vampire, but still, he couldn't let this happen without helping. Could he?
"Buffy," Giles said as he took off his glasses and carefully wiped the lenses, "this is Spike we're talking about. You are wanting to help bring him back. Maybe he has had his chip taken away by this demon and maybe not. Can we really take the risk that he has had it removed? Do you want to be responsible for unleashing him back into the world as the demon he once was? And if he is that demon again, could you kill him?"
"I killed Angel," she said in a small voice.
"Yes you did, but remember what it did to you."
"That was different," Buffy protested. "I loved Angel and it almost destroyed me when I sent him to hell. We're talking about Spike. I don't love him."
"But you do have history with him whether you want to acknowledge it or not," Giles paused. "Buffy, you slept with him. Whatever reasons you had is your own business. I'm just saying that maybe you do care for Spike more than you want to admit or you wouldn't be feeling this way."
Buffy knew he was right. She did feel something for the vampire. What it was, she hadn't been able to label yet, and maybe she never would, but it was nothing like the feelings she'd had for Angel. Angel had had a soul, and had been her first love. Spike was just a vampire with a piece of machinery in his head that kept him under control. Without it, he'd be just another demon. Without it, he wouldn't love her anymore and he would kill her the first chance he got.
"Its all my fault," she whispered.
"No its not your fault. Whatever Spike's done, he did it because he wanted it, not because of you."
Buffy shook her head. "If I hadn't rejected him... If I had been able to love him..."
"He would have still done it," Giles said. "Spike is a demon. You know how much he hated being, for lack of a better word, neutered by that chip. He would have found a way to get rid of it one way or another."
"But I forced him to do it," she said looking up at her watcher with tearfilled eyes. "All he wanted was for me to love him."
Giles smiled kindly at the torn girl. "All he wanted was to be a demon again. You must stop blaming yourself Buffy."
"I will," she said wiping her eyes. "When I get him out of it."
~*~
"You're joking?" Xander exclaimed. "We're finally rid of Spike and she wants to help him come back?"
"Its not that easy Xander," Willow said. "She feels like she is to blame and she owes it to him to help him out of his coma."
"Well I for one think we should be celebrating," Xander smiled. "Ding dong, the blonde vamp's gone..."
"Xander! We have to figure out how to help Buffy, not joke about things."
"Sorry Will. Just feel like partying."
Willow took a deep breath. "I know you have your 'issues' with him. The whole 'him sleeping with Anya' probably top of the list, but he did do a lot of good and did help us all through some pretty hard times. Maybe we do owe him something."
"We owe him nothing but a stake through the heart," Xander snapped. "He is a murdering monster, or have you forgotten what he was?"
"I haven't forgotten. I just think everyone deserves a second chance. You're giving me one aren't you? And Anya...vengeance demon. She killed and cursed men for over a thousand years and is doing it again, and you still love her."
"That's different," Xander said softly.
"It's always different when it's someone we love. Buffy is determined to do this and we have to either support her or butt out."
There was a determination in the redhead's eyes that scared him. She was going to be there for Buffy whether he was or not. And if he wasn't, he could tell that he would have to keep right out of it...or else. He knew she was right. Anya was a demon again, and he did still love her. But this was Spike. It was different, wasn't it?
"And anyway, Anya said it would time to summon the right guide for Buffy," Willow continued. "Just don't make her feel any worse than she already is right now."
"Why did you have to drag Anya into it anyway?" he asked.
"Because she is the only one who knows about Kalcor and this kind of stuff," came a voice from behind them.
"Buffy," exclaimed Willow. "When did you get back? And how is Giles doing?"
"He's getting better," she replied. "And he agrees with Xander. He thinks I should just leave Spike to do this on his own."
"You should," Xander said.
"Maybe, but I can't."
~*~
His own : "...the big bad is back...back...back..."
Xander : "You're not even kinda naughty..."
His own : "Every slayer has a death wish... Even you..."
Angelus : "A good kill. It takes pure artistry..."
His own : "A fella could get used to this..."
They were haunting him. Not just the voices, but faces now. Nameless shadows of the hundreds he'd spent his demon life feeding from. Their screams, the begging, the prayers of the dying all rang through his head along with their agonised faces. The guilt was unbearable.
Slayer : "Tell my mother I'm sorry...sorry...sorry..."
His own : "Sorry luv, I don't speak Chinese..."
~*~
The Magic Box looked like a shop again. Xander kept his word to Anya and spent his evenings fixing it up. He had built new shelves, new cabinets and had found a strong counter made of marble. He had roped in some of his friends from work to help and because of the extra help, the work had been completed quickly. The results were amazing. All that was needed now was painting, decorating and new stock for the new shelves. Luckily Willow's attack hadn't touched the storeroom under the shop where extra stock was still sitting safely on the shelves.
"I hope Anya likes this colour," Willow said as she slapped the deep blue paint on the walls.
"I'm sure she'll love it," Buffy replied.
"It is pretty," Willow agreed.
"Alright. I have contacted the suppliers and new stock is on it's way," Xander said as he joined him.
"That'll make Anya happier," Buffy smiled.
"I hope so."
"How could she not? You have this place looking great," Willow said, putting down her paintbrush.
"Still needs a table though," Buffy said. "Somewhere for us to gather around, talk, research...like it was."
"That's all taken care of," Xander said. "I found one and it'll be here tomorrow."
"Wow, you really are Mr Action aren't you?" she laughed. "I think it's great how you've done all this for Anya."
"I didn't do it just for her," he replied. "I did it for all of us. We all need this place. It keeps us together."
Buffy looked around the shop. It was like a second home to them. They had had the library in high school, then Giles' home, and now, the Magic Box. It was somewhere where she felt safe. Xander was right. They did need this place.
"Have you heard back from Anya yet?" Xander finally asked. He hadn't seen her since that night when things had been almost normal between them. Since the night when Buffy went to help Spike.
"Not yet," she replied. "But she did say summoning the right guide would take time."
"Its been two weeks Buffy," he said. "How much longer is it going to take?"
"I wish I knew."
"If you do see her, bring her back here," Xander said. "She should see this place now."
"I will," Buffy replied.
She left Willow and Xander painting.
~*~
"Any change?"
"Argh," Clem yelled, jumping out of his chair.
"Oops, sorry," Buffy giggled. "I didn't mean to scare you Clem."
"You didn't," he huffed. "I was yawning. And no, no change."
She walked slowly over to where Spike lay on his bed. It had been two weeks since Clem had found him like this. Two weeks with him trapped in his own mind with whatever hellish memories and dreams he had collected throughout his many years as a vampire. She sat beside him feeling helpless.
"Where are you Anya?"
~*~
"It cannot be done," the demon hissed.
"But you have done it before," argued Anya.
"Says who?"
"Its carved all over your temple's walls," snapped Anya. She'd been arguing with Icelus for days now and the demon was still not willing to serve as guide for Buffy.
"Ah," Icelus paused. "So maybe I have guided others through the world of Kalcor's price, but no-one has ever returned. Why would your friend's be any different."
"You are talking about other demons. It's the slayer who is wanting your services. She will return and bring Spike back with her."
"The slayer," Icelus chuckled. "I would be greatly rewarded if I sent her into Kalcor's price and left her there."
"But you won't," Anya said in her most threatening voice. "If anything did happen to Buffy, I would hunt you down and the worst vengeance I have ever taken would be nothing compared to what I would do to you."
"You would take the slayer's side over one of your own kind?" Icelus asked.
"In a heartbeat," she replied.
"Very well," he said. "I will guide this slayer of yours through the price and if she is as strong as you say, I will bring her back."
"I will be in touch," Anya said as she vanished.
"I will guide her," Icelus said to himself after she'd left. "But she will never succeed. No-one ever has."
~*~
The painting was done...finally. A tired Xander and exhausted Willow looked around themselves.
"Wow," was all Willow had the energy to say.
"Wow indeed," Xander yawned. "It really looks good?"
"It looks more than good. It looks..."
"Incredible."
They turned and saw an awe struck Anya standing behind them.
"Anya!" Xander exclaimed. "There's new stock coming and I have ordered a table and...do you like it?"
The demon had tears of joy her eyes as she walked around her shop, her fingers trailing over the marble countertop.
"No-one has ever done anything like this before ever," she smiled through her tears.
Xander grinned. He had made her smile. Maybe things had finally moved on between them.
"So I was thinking, big reopening bash," Willow said.
Anya and Xander laughed. Trust Willow.
"Shall I order the nice mystical balloons?"
"Order the balloons, streamers and everything Wills," chuckled Xander. "This will be the greatest reopening in history."
He thought that would make Anya happy. Something to take her mind off the past few weeks, but when he looked at her, she was no longer smiling.
"Anya? What's up?"
"I found Buffy a guide," she said.
"So soon?"
"He's the only one who has been inside Kalcor's price and been able to come back." She paused when she saw the look on Xander's face. "Nothing will change her mind Xander. The best we can do is make sure she has the best guide available, and Icelus is."
"Icelus..." Willow mumbled. "Why is that name so familiar?"
Anya sat down. "Icelus is an Oneiroi. A dream demon. He lurks in dreams and draws his strength from them. He can twist them around and turn them into nightmares. But he is really quite harmless."
"There's no such thing as a harmless demon," Xander said.
"Spike is," Willow replied. "And that friend of his. The wrinkly one."
"Clem?" Asked Anya. "He's not exactly harmless. He is a Stelan demon. Quite vicious, nasty things really."
"But he seems so cute and sweet and cuddly," gasped Willow.
"There's always an exception," Anya said.
"And Clem certainly is exceptional," laughed Xander.
The girls joined in the laughing as they put away the paint things. Soon they had a nice, clean shell of a shop. All it needed was the stock.
"I'll start bringing up some things from the storeroom," Xander said.
"I'll give you a hand in a second," Willow yelled to his retreating back.
"Sure you will," he shouted back.
She watched him disappear before she asked Anya her next question.
"Are you sure Buffy will be ok?" she asked.
Anya sighed. "Nothing is certain Willow. All I know is that with Icelus guiding her, she stands a better chance of going in there and coming out in one piece."
"And there is no-one else who can guide her? What about you?"
"I am a vengeance demon," Anya said. "She needs someone familiar with the dreamworld to guide her. Now if she wanted vengeance on someone, then I am your demon."
"I guess you know what you're talking about," Willow smiled softly.
"Sometimes," Anya smiled back.
~*~
Buffy left Spike with Clem and slowly walked back to the Magic Box. Until she heard back from Anya, sitting beside him for hours would achieve nothing but increase her sense of guilt. Nothing mattered anymore but helping Spike. God knew he'd helped her enough.
She knew that maybe this wasn't the best way to help him, but there was no alternative. Giles and Xander had made their arguments and feelings known, but in the end, it was her choice and her decision. She would do it alone if she had to. The thought of wandering around in Spike's dreams and memories scared her more than she would admit to anyone, but she'd faced many things over her short life as a slayer and she'd always come out on top. She had to believe that this time she would too.
She stopped as she reached the Magic Box door. Maybe she should just go home and get some sleep. Tonight, she didn't feel up to another night of Xander's accusing looks and Willow's equally guilty eyes. At least Willow's guilt was her own. She had been doing a lot better over the past weeks. She still had her rough patches when the loss of Tara hit her hard, but she channeled the grief into something productive. She knew how much the Magic Box had meant to Tara and helping Xander fix it up gave her something to do to take her mind of that loss, as well as the guilt she felt being the one who had caused the destruction of the shop.
After taking a deep breath, Buffy opened the door and walked inside. The shop looked amazing. She stood unable to move as she looked around at all the work her friends had done. She had been there to watch Xander at work and had helped with the painting, but the finished product was breathtaking. Whilst she'd been with Spike, they had stacked the shelves with the stock they had had in storage and had put the books back on the new library shelves Xander had built especially for that purpose.
"Guys," she gasped, "this is amazing."
"Buffy," exclaimed Willow. "You're back."
"Why wouldn't I be?" she asked.
"I thought...Spike," Willow said quietly.
"There's nothing I can do there," she replied. "I need to be doing something, anything."
"I know that feeling well," Willow smiled.
Buffy smiled back at her. "Any sign of Anya?"
"Oh, yes," Willow exclaimed. "She's downstairs with Xander checking on the stock. Actually, they have been down there for quite a while now and there wasn't that much stock left. You don't think they are...?"
Buffy's smile grew. "I hope so. It would be good for something to go well for someone for once."
"Shall I call them up?" Willow asked.
Buffy shook her head. "Leave them."
"Giles called," said Willow changing the subject. "He is being discharged at last. He was grumbling something about finally having a 'decent cup of tea' for once."
Buffy laughed. "That sounds like Giles. It will be good to have him back here though."
"Yeah it will," agreed Willow. "Do you think he'll stay here or hurry back to England?"
"I don't know," admitted Buffy. "I'm hoping he'll stay."
"Somehow I don't think chocolate chip cookies are going to make it up to Giles," Willow sighed.
Buffy wrapped her arms around her friend.
"He understands Willow," she whispered. "You were going through something none of us could imagine and so you flipped out a little..."
"A little? Buffy, I tried to kill him. That's not something you can forgive so easily."
"You all forgave me. Trust me. Everything is going to be ok."
"Buffy, you're back."
"I am indeed," Buffy said looking over her shoulder.
Xander and Anya had finally emerged from the storeroom carrying yet more boxes of stock.
"Well you sure took your time," Willow said as she wiped her eyes.
"We couldn't find the...mandrake root," Xander replied blushing slightly.
"Mandrake root huh?" smiled Buffy.
"Yes," said Anya. "It had moved."
"Come on Xander," said Willow grabbing the box off Anya. "Let's get to work."
They moved to the other end of the shop, leaving Buffy and Anya alone to talk.
"I found a guide," Anya said before Buffy could ask.
"How soon can we go?" Buffy asked.
"Icelus needs time to prepare," Anya said slowly. "He'll be here tomorrow."
"Icelus. He is a demon?"
Anya nodded. "Dream demon. He can move in and out of dreams and he has entered Kalcor's price once before."
"Was he successful?" Buffy asked, dreading the answer.
Anya bit her lip. "No he wasn't. The subject and the one who went in to bring her out were lost forever in the dreamworld of Kalcor's price." She paused when she saw Buffy's face pale. "But they were insignificant demons, not a slayer. You are strong enough to fight through this and succeed. Icelus is the best guide for this kind of journey. I wouldn't have chosen him if he wasn't."
"I know Anya," Buffy said in a small voice. "I'm just..."
"Scared."
She nodded. "I was going for terrified."
"You can still back out," Anya said gently. "You don't have to go through with it."
"Yes I do. I can't leave Spike like that."
Anya looked away. She watched Xander joking around with Willow as they stocked the Magic Box shelves. Would Xander do something like this for her? Her heart hoped he would.
"You should get some rest," she said finally, looking back. "You are going to need it. And you have to tell Dawn."
Dawn. She had completely forgotten about her sister. She still thought Spike was away. Buffy hadn't been able to tell her that he was back, in a coma-like state that he might never return from and that she was going into it to try to bring him out. After all they had been through, she had promised not to shield her anymore, but this was different. The way Dawn felt about Spike, she would never let Buffy go in without her. How could she explain this to her? Things had been going great between them lately. This was going to be a setback.
"I have to work out what I am going to say to her first," Buffy said. "She's never going to forgive me for keeping this from her is she?"
"She'll get over it. You were only looking out for her."
"But I made a promise that I would stop doing that. I promised her that I would tell her everything. Stop keeping secrets. Stop being so overprotective."
"So you slipped up. Everyone does."
Buffy smiled at Anya. "I hope she is as understanding as you," she said.
"She will be, and if not, ground her," Anya smiled back.
Buffy managed a small laugh. Anya always had such a simple way of looking at things. Most of the time, it was annoying and irritating, but this time, she made sense.
"You're right," she said. "Anyway, I had better get home. Giles is coming out of hospital tomorrow." She looked at her watch. "Ugh, today. I should make sure he has somewhere to come home to. We'll talk more later."
Anya nodded.
"Don't stay at it too long," Buffy called to Xander and Willow as she walked towards the door.
"Almost finished," Xander called back.
"Want me to come with you?" Willow asked.
Buffy shook her head. "I'll be fine," she said. "I need some alone time to clear out my head."
"Ok. I'll see you soon," Willow said, turning back to the shelves.
Buffy watched them for one more minute before she opened the door and walked out into what might turn out to be her last night in Sunnydale.
