What I Want, Chapter Seven.
She hadn't left her room. She couldn't. Not to face the fact that the team was coming back today. After four days of sheer bliss, Jean would be coming back today, to rip apart the clinging illusions that someone had actually cared for her.
That he had actually cared for her. Almost like she had cared for him.
But she had no faith in him.
~ ~ ~
In his room, Scott was wondering exactly how he could break it to Jean-his partner of many years-that it was over. That he had fallen for someone else.
He didn't know how, but he was sure that he had to. After all, Kitty didn't trust him yet, but she had to trust him eventually.
He stood up, and looked at the clock. Eight thirty. And the team was due in at nine. It would be a good time to go get her, so that they could go down to the hanger, and wait, and talk.
By the time he was at her room, he was shaking. What if she had only done this because she knew that there could be no consequences?
He knocked on the door.
And she opened it, looking like a bright, shining sun.
And he couldn't stop smiling.
Then she smiled, and he couldn't stop himself from reaching out to her, pulling her to him. "Just this once," he murmured to her. "Please."
She nodded, and-almost instantaneously-he crushed his lips to hers.
It was a good thing that the door was closed, or they would have gone crashing to the floor.
And neither of them would have noticed. They were too absorbed in each other.
His hands snaked around her waist, and hers came up to fist in his hair. His hands slid down, and pulled her closer to him.
And suddenly, she felt trapped.
The memories came in flashes, just as they had the first night.
*Hands, all over her, riding over her breasts, her hips, her thighs. Pulling her closer to him, closer.*
She went limp, her hands slipping from his hair to hang limply at her sides. Her mouth stilling, head falling back.
*"No one will ever love you now." Whipping her, fronts of her thighs taking the brunt of it, blood seeping out of the gashes. "Especially not after this." She struggled to free herself, to untie her arms, to be able to stop him.*
But this time, she wasn't tied up. "Stop." She whimpered quietly, then brought her hands up to his chest. "Stop it!" He kept on kissing her neck, inching up to her ear.
She straightened he back, then pushed him, hard.
"Kitty." He said, his voice cracking.
"I'm sorry." She replied, closing her eyes. "So sorry."
"Don't be." He said. "It's my fault." He was still *with* Jean, still with Jean. But it was so hard to remember that when she looked at him with those soft, giving eyes.
"No, it isn't." She replied. "You're nothing like him."
"Who?"
Her eyes were wide. How could he not know? "No one." She said. He knew. Of course he knew.
He didn't, but the soft hurt in her eyes was enough to make him stop questioning why she had done what she had done. "Kitty, I'm so sorry." He held out his arms, willing her to step into them. When she did, he closed his eyes, and just held her. Safe.
Suddenly she pulled away from him. "We should go down. They're due any minute."
"Okay." He said, willing to give her whatever she wanted. "Let's go."
She hadn't left her room. She couldn't. Not to face the fact that the team was coming back today. After four days of sheer bliss, Jean would be coming back today, to rip apart the clinging illusions that someone had actually cared for her.
That he had actually cared for her. Almost like she had cared for him.
But she had no faith in him.
~ ~ ~
In his room, Scott was wondering exactly how he could break it to Jean-his partner of many years-that it was over. That he had fallen for someone else.
He didn't know how, but he was sure that he had to. After all, Kitty didn't trust him yet, but she had to trust him eventually.
He stood up, and looked at the clock. Eight thirty. And the team was due in at nine. It would be a good time to go get her, so that they could go down to the hanger, and wait, and talk.
By the time he was at her room, he was shaking. What if she had only done this because she knew that there could be no consequences?
He knocked on the door.
And she opened it, looking like a bright, shining sun.
And he couldn't stop smiling.
Then she smiled, and he couldn't stop himself from reaching out to her, pulling her to him. "Just this once," he murmured to her. "Please."
She nodded, and-almost instantaneously-he crushed his lips to hers.
It was a good thing that the door was closed, or they would have gone crashing to the floor.
And neither of them would have noticed. They were too absorbed in each other.
His hands snaked around her waist, and hers came up to fist in his hair. His hands slid down, and pulled her closer to him.
And suddenly, she felt trapped.
The memories came in flashes, just as they had the first night.
*Hands, all over her, riding over her breasts, her hips, her thighs. Pulling her closer to him, closer.*
She went limp, her hands slipping from his hair to hang limply at her sides. Her mouth stilling, head falling back.
*"No one will ever love you now." Whipping her, fronts of her thighs taking the brunt of it, blood seeping out of the gashes. "Especially not after this." She struggled to free herself, to untie her arms, to be able to stop him.*
But this time, she wasn't tied up. "Stop." She whimpered quietly, then brought her hands up to his chest. "Stop it!" He kept on kissing her neck, inching up to her ear.
She straightened he back, then pushed him, hard.
"Kitty." He said, his voice cracking.
"I'm sorry." She replied, closing her eyes. "So sorry."
"Don't be." He said. "It's my fault." He was still *with* Jean, still with Jean. But it was so hard to remember that when she looked at him with those soft, giving eyes.
"No, it isn't." She replied. "You're nothing like him."
"Who?"
Her eyes were wide. How could he not know? "No one." She said. He knew. Of course he knew.
He didn't, but the soft hurt in her eyes was enough to make him stop questioning why she had done what she had done. "Kitty, I'm so sorry." He held out his arms, willing her to step into them. When she did, he closed his eyes, and just held her. Safe.
Suddenly she pulled away from him. "We should go down. They're due any minute."
"Okay." He said, willing to give her whatever she wanted. "Let's go."
