A/N: Un-beta-read right now. The Betaed version is available on FictionAlley, in The Dark Arts section.
I know this chapter is late, and I'm not totally happy with it. But I wanted to get it posted.
J.K. owns all Harry Potter related characters and materials. I just like to make them do crazy things.

p
Nobody said anything for at least 5 minutes. They stared around at the looming jungle, trying to come to grips with the situation. It was Remus who finally broke the silence.
"This means...This means we're stranded here, aren't we?"
Severus snapped at him, "No, We're not!" He gazed at the surrounding trees, and said quietly, "We can't be..."
Remus sighed, and sat down on a rock. "Do either of you have any idea where we are?"
Sirius grinned slightly, "A jungle?"
Severus glared at him, "Don't be a smart-ass, Black."
Remus raised a hand to silence the two, "Okay, yes, it's a jungle, but where? I seem to recall hearing something about a spell-absorbing jungle in History of Magic..."
Sirius shrugged, "All I seem to recall is how good a pillow my textbook made."
"It's in South America... I think." Severus said, "Well, it's been established that nobody here actually paid any attention in class and we're no closer to figuring out how to get out of here."

"I guess we'll just have to walk." Remus concluded, standing up with a determined look on his face.
Severus looked at him incredulously, "Are you insane?! We don't know which way to go, we have no idea what's out there! It could take months to get out, if we don't get killed!"
Sirius sneered, angrily, "Do you have any better ideas? What the hell else can we do, just wait and hope that somebody comes to rescue us?"
"We'd probably be safer!" Severus snarled, "D'you know what lives in these places? This is one of the only places on earth that you're unlikely to survive for more than 15 minutes! Harpies, Twitch Piranhas, 25-metre-long Anacondas, all out thee, all perfectly willing to pick out bones clean given half the chance. So, if you're asking me whether or not I think it's a good idea, I'd have to say NO. It's a horrible, deadly, immensely stupid idea." he paused to breath for a moment,



"But no, I don't have any better ideas. But we can't just run into the heart of the jungle without some notion of a plan. Gryffindor bravery won't save you when you're halfway devoured."
Remus stepped between the two, "That's enough." he said, sternly, "We do need a plan. How about we choose a direction, and stick to it? That way, if we need to get back to this clearing, we'll know the way. Is that acceptable?"
Remus looked between Severus and Sirius for agreement. Sirius thought for a moment before agreeing, Severus just scowled and nodded.

"Well, which way do we go?" Sirius asked, looking up to the canopy.

"We should follow the river downstream," Severus said, pointing to the slow, whispering river he had been submerged in earlier, "That way, we'll eventually get to either a village or the coast."
Sirius nodded, "That sounds about right. Let's go."

"Hold it, Sirius." Remus said before Sirius could get far. "Come over here, I want you to look at this in the water."
Sirius peered over the bank into the murky depths.

"I don't see any- Argh!"
Severus had shoved Sirius into the river. Sputtering and coughing, Sirius looked up angrily at him.
"What the bloody hell did you do that for?!" he snarled,

"You were lying in a pile of dung from an unknown animal for about 5 hours. You needed a bath, and that was just the most entertaining solution we could think of." Severus smirked,
Sirius glared at Remus, "You would collaborate with him to humiliate me? What kind of friend are you, anyway?"

"We weren't collaborating!" Remus protested, "We were temporarily united against a common enemy."

"I'm the enemy?" Sirius asked indignantly,
"No. Your stench was the enemy. You were just caught in the crossfire." Severus said, waiting as Remus dragged Sirius out of the water. Sirius huffed and shook himself off in a dog-like manner, spattering Remus and Severus with water.

"That's very mature, Black." Severus sneered, wiping the water off his face. "As if I wasn't soaked enough."

Remus sighed, "Are you two going to be harrassing each other the whole time we're here?"

"Of course not!" Sirius said, "The rest of the time we'll be harrassing you."

"Oh, goody."

Taking a last look at the dangerous jungle before them, the trio set off downstream, hoping the river would lead them home.
* * * * *

"Oof!"

For not the first time, Sirius tripped over a large root sticking out of the ground. He had begun to wonder if they were purposely emerging from the earth to make him stumble.

"Black, will you watch where you're going?" Severus said, "If you crack your skull open, I'm not carrying you."
Sirius scowled, "It's not my fault! All the leaf litter hides these damn roots and I can't see them."
"Then how come you're the only one tripping?" Remus asked, mildly amused, "Are they out to get you?"

"I wouldn't be surprised." Sirius retorted, peering around at the enourmous trees and hanging vines that surrounded them, "This isn't a normal jungle. I feel like we're being watched... Like something is hunting us."
"That's ridiculous, Sirius." Remus said, half to himself, "If there were any animals hunting us, we'd have seen it or something by now."
"Not nesscessarily, Lupin." Severus said, eyes shifting over the dark labyrinth of trees, "There are plenty of predators we wouldn't see or hear until it's too late. I thought you were an animal expert."
Remus frowned, "I know about defending against dark creatures. That doesn't make me an expert. What exactly do you think is out here that we couldn't handle?"
Severus started listing them off, "Jaguars, giant Pythons, Alligators... It's probably warm enough for Lethifolds to live here."
Sirius looked at him sharply, "Lethifolds? You think so?"
Severus nodded, "We'll just have to hope we don't run into any..."

"And I suppose if we do run into any, we'll just have to flee in terror, hoping we can outrun it?"

Severus smirked, "Never thought I'd hear the words 'flee in terror' from a Gryffindor."

"Oh shut-up," Sirius snapped, 'Git.'

"Mutt." Severus retorted.

Remus rubbed his temples. This was going to be a long trip.

* * * * *

"I'm going on a trip and I'm bringing.. erm, a cat, a bar and.. er... aspixiation?"

"Asphyxiation, Black. Alright, I'm going on a trip and I'm bringing Dysprosium, a cat, a bar and aspixiation."

"I'm not going to play anymore unless you stop using words like that."
Remus chastised himself for starting that game. He had suggested it, thinking it might pass the time, but so far it had only frustrated Sirius as he tried to remember whatever obscure word Severus had come up with.

After a few minutes of silence as they trudged through the jungle, Sirius spoke up.

"Any guesses on how long it might take to get our of here?"
Remus shook his head. "Not a clue. If we keep to this path, hopefully only a few... Uh-oh."

Much to the wizards' surprise, the river was no longer a straight path. It had decided to split off into two seperate rivers, going in opposite directions.
Sirius looked between the forks.

"So, which way should we go?"

"Right." Severus said,

"Left." Remus said at the same time. They shot glares at each other. Sirius frowned, "Sorry, Remus, but we're on the right side of the river, and I don't especially feel like taking another swim. Even if I did, it's piranah-infested water." Sirius pointed into the water, where a flash of teeth and scales showed he was correct.

"Off we go, into the wild green yonder..."
Severus muttered as the started down the path, not knowing where it would lead them.

TBC