ElseWorlds™: Saving James
Chapter 14
By: Christopher W. Blaine
e-mail: darth_yoshi@yahoo.com
DISCLAIMER: Refer to chapter 1 for the disclaimer for this entire story.
"Are you sure you want me to read this, Puddin'?" Dr. Quinzel asked the Joker. The master madman of Arkham Asylum nodded and continued eating his peas and carrots. They were alone in the cafeteria; the Joker's continued progress had allowed him many more.
That was more than he had hoped for when he had begun his complex plan of revenge; a plan that he wasn't too sure was going his way now. Harleen cleared her throat. "'There can be no doubt that Gotham City has changed over the past five years. The once great Mecca of conservative values has now become something akin to a Liberal Wonderland. Where once the iron rule of law and order dictated the actions of the citizens, the city has been transformed, literally, into a madhouse where it appears anything goes.'"
The Joker stabbed at some vegetables. "Sounds like Lois got her head out of someone's crotch long enough to actually do some news reporting."
Harleen didn't respond, but she knew what he was talking about. A few months before they had tried to push Barbara Gordon over the edge by forcing her to confess to being a lesbian. She had cursed the judge and had been promptly thrown in jail. Then her lawyer joined forces with Lois Lane, Barbara's supposed ex-lover, and began a series of articles detailing the degrading legal system in Gotham County.
"'It was only six years ago that Gotham City was a place feared except by the truly insane, by those who could not fathom the awful price they would pay for violating society's rules in the jurisdiction of Commissioner James Gordon. After the rape of his daughter at the hands of the Joker, Gordon led a personal crusade to crack down on crime. His tactics were hailed by state conservatives but were decried by the ACLU and civil libertarians. Then, after a series of odd rulings in both civil and criminal courts, conducted by a small pool of judges, the tone in Gotham changed.'
"'State representatives from Gotham County were able to throw political and monetary might behind their candidate for governor and soon any attempt at common sense police work was cast aside in favor of over-achieving political correctness. According to the attorney for Barbara Gordon, who has filed several complaints against judges in Gotham County with the state bar, there is no rhyme or reason for the rulings being handed down by local judiciaries.'"
The Joker looked even more disgusted as she read the words, a eulogy to the plans he had made. He knew exactly what the problem was; he had been too patient, he ad allowed his foes to recover from every blow instead of pressing the attack. Harleen continued. "'It's like a disease running through the body of justice in Gotham County; no decision makes sense. In one case, they decide that a homicidal maniac can have visitation rights, but then in another they say a woman who is a lesbian cannot raise a child. In one word, it's bullsh&%!' the attorney said when interviewed for this article.'"
"Is that a direct quote?" the Joker asked. Harleen said it was. "That's the lawyer I should have hired," he grumbled. His own lawyer finally had been arrested on drug possession charges. The running joke was that only a lawyer who was high on crack would represent the Joker.
Harleen decided that her patient had heard enough. "With Wankerhan now under investigation…"
The Joker smacked the table with a palm. "God damn it! How did he get found out? I thought your little sessions with him were private?"
Harleen looked away, for once not able to keep a calm face. "Somebody found out some information about him. He had some activities prior to him coming to me. He left a trail."
"You'd think a fucking judge would know better. It was Grayson, that little son of a bitch! He runs to Canada and suddenly he thinks he's Batman, investigating everything…" The Joker cursed some more and stood up. "What about my son?"
"The judge in Metropolis said no way; your son stays there. If you want to see him, you have to go there," she said. "It was a mistake to piss off Lois Lane."
The Joker rubbed his chin. "Then I guess the time for acting is over," he said and suddenly he burst out in laughter. For the first time in years he was free again to act as he truly felt. No more waiting for stimulus; he could now make it happen.
He had always kept a back-up plan in the rear of his mind, next to his favorite dark thoughts. He had started the entire affair of going for child custody just for the hell of it, to see how far he could get and he really had done better than what he had expected. "I need to get out of here," he said.
"Puddin'…"
"Shut the fuck up, Harl and do what I tell you!" he barked. She stepped back and dropped the newspaper. His face twisted in rage. "It's time for the finale!"
Barbara answered the knock at her door, not really expecting anyone and for the first time in what seemed like forever, not worried about it either. For several months now, ever since the final court battle in Metropolis, she had been enjoying a life of semi-normalcy.
It was just she and James now, though she had been asked out several times by various members of the Metropolis single's scene. She didn't want to get into another relationship, not after the way her last two had ended. Dick had betrayed her and Lois had broken her heart when her husband had returned from the dead. Maybe getting with Lois had been a mistake because it had done something to their friendship. Where they had been close, they were now distant.
She was, of course, thankful for all that Lois had done for her, but she realized that the ace reporter had been trying to ease the guilt she had felt for breaking it off. Barbara realized that Lois's vow to her husband was sacred and in a similar situation, Barbara would do the same thing.
It didn't take away the sting, though.
"I'll get it Alfred!" she called to her live-in butler. The loyal manservant, formerly in the constant employ of billionaire Bruce Wayne, had remained by her side through every mess. She approached the door and opened it.
Jim Gordon stood there, his face betraying the nervousness he felt. "Daddy?" she asked.
They were embracing before he could respond, tears flowing so much that their shoulders and collars were soon stained with marks of wetness. "Daddy!" she cried into her father's shoulder.
They finally parted and Jim looked down to see his grandson standing next to his mother, wearing a Gotham Knights shirt and a WayneTech baseball cap. "Are you my grandpa?" the child asked.
Jim looked at Barbara and she nodded silently and more tears started rolling from her eyes. Alfred peaked his head out from the kitchen and immediately went to fetch tissues. Jim hunkered down and looked his grandson in the face. He could see his daughter in the boy's eyes, but there was no mistaking his father. Over the years the boy had started to develop the long face that was characteristic of the Joker.
Jim coughed and smiled. "Yes I am. I'm sorry I'm late."
The boy looked confused and thought he had a solution to the problem. "Lunch isn't ready yet! Do you like peanut butter? Uncle Alf loves to make peanut butter everything." Then the boy gave up a wide grin, wanting to impress the older male. "I'm going to be a Batman when I grow up."
Jim laughed and stood up. Barbara couldn't resist giving her father another hug. She was surprised that he didn't smell like whiskey and smoke. He must have read her mind because he immediately explained. "I've been on the wagon for six months. Gave up everything."
"Everything?" Barbara asked.
He nodded. "Helena, too. She's moved to Canada."
"Seems to be the place to go," Barbara said, pulling her father inside. Alfred appeared, greeted the former commissioner and offered a tissue. Barbara grabbed the entire box.
"I was hoping to get to know my grandson," Jim said.
Barbara grabbed her father. "Thank you, daddy…"
Charlene smiled as Barbara told her the news. "So, he's still playing with the little guy?" she asked. Barbara said he was and she laughed. "Will miracles never cease?"
As Barbara continued to relay the events of the day to her new best friend, Charlene carefully examined her latest motion with a yellow highlighter. After several minutes she had to beg off. "I love hearing this, dear, but I've got court in the morning. I'm going after some dead-beat dads and you know how much I love that!"
She hung up the phone, promising to call again the next night. She heard some rustling outside her office and assumed it was the new janitor. He was a young man with James Dean eyes and though she was married, she found herself lifting the edge of her skirt just a little higher than usual. "Nothing wrong with a little flirting," she said as she chewed on her highlighter.
The door suddenly burst open and she tumbled back in her chair, falling unceremoniously onto the floor. When she looked, a woman in a red and black costume with a white painted face entered. Behind her came several thugs dressed in black. Two of them came forward and picked her up and when she protested, the woman kicked her in the knee.
Charlene screamed as her knee was dislocated. The woman was amazingly strong. "Shut up, bitch!" the woman sneered.
Charlene did as she was told and started to shake from fear. That shaking became a self-centered earthquake when the Joker strolled in. He was clad in his trademark purple suit, fedora and trench coat. "Well, well, look what we have here?" the Joker said. He was holding a knife that was dripping blood. "Seems the custodian has made a mess in the hallway," he said.
Petrified now with fear and turning pale, Charlene began to pray. She knew she was going to die. The Joker saw the resignation in her eyes. "You know, I've been fucked by you so many times in the courtroom, I wonder if I shouldn't return the favor?" the Joker asked.
The henchmen started to laugh and the cold horror of the situation started to permeate Charlene's soul. Barbara had described for her what rape by the Joker was like. Again she prayed silently for a miracle.
The Joker sat on the edge of her desk and scratched his groin. "I don't know…you're not exactly my type…" he said. "Hey, Harl?" he called to his female partner.
"You're Dr. Quinzel?" Charlene asked, stunned that the psychiatrist was there. It made sense, though, and suddenly so many things were clear to the lawyer.
"It's Harley Quinn, bitch," was the venomous response. Quinn turned to the Joker. "Yes, my love?"
"Should I ask her?"
Charlene couldn't imagine what they were talking about, but the pain in her leg helped to keep her from passing out from fear. "Go ahead, Puddin'," Quinn responded.
"Do you spit or swallow, counselor?" the Joker asked matter of factly.
"What?"
"Spit or swallow? Come on, now; you're married…I'm sure you have an answer." He waited and then shrugged when she wouldn't answer. "I suppose we'll have to find out," he announced as he dropped down from the desk.
The thugs forced her down on her knees and she cried out as pressure was applied to the damaged one. The Joker stepped forward and she turned her head away, defiant even the face of death. Harley reached down and grabbed her head and with super-human strength, turned her back while a thug forced her mouth open.
The Joker smiled and produced a can of liquid drain cleaner and popped the cap. "Down the hatch!" he said as he poured.
Minutes later, Charlene's body stopped jerking and the Joker nodded his head. The experiment was over he told his assembled colleagues. "That's it! She spits!"
"Lawyers are like that," Harleen said. "Too good to enjoy a good thing!"
The Joker slapped his knee and let loose a hyena laugh that echoed through the office. "Oh, that was rich, Harl! I think we should have thrown her from the window, though. It's so…fitting. All lawyers should be thrown out into the street like bundles of trash."
The thugs understood what the Joker was asking and they grabbed the now lifeless body and carried it over to a large picture window that overlooked the outside parking lot. With a heave, they threw the corpse through the glass and let it fall to the cold concrete below.
Not satisfied yet, the Joker went over to the window and pissed out the edge, sprinkling the dead lawyer with urine.
"We need to get out of here, boss," one of the thugs said, staring a little too long at the Joker's exposed manhood. He gave the henchman a wry look. "Got to watch you, big fella," he said.
Harleen agreed and indicated that she was sure that the broken window would attract some sort of attention, even this late. The Joker told her to quit nagging, but finally relented. "After all, I'm not done yet," he said coldly.
