Author's Notes: Brownie points if you 'get' the title! Heh - I used the song Duel of the Fates in a presentation at school once. But then again, I also used the Captain Planet theme song once. So there you go.

See the review page for my long-winded author-like jibe. That's right folks, Silver Phoenix! She reads your reviews! She answers your questions! She makes random comments about your random comments! Is there anything she can't do?!

Yes. Calculus. Thanks for coming out. ^_^

***

"Now I know what you're thinking!" Professor Weasley shouted, furiously pacing the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. The desks had been pushed aside (rather violently, by a spell on Ron's part) against the walls in order to give the class more space. The students, a collection of Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors, were all bunched together, pressed up against the wall and watching their teacher's pacing apprehensively.

"You're thinking," Professor Weasley continued, "that dueling is quick, right? Harmless! A simple disarming spell, and you're done. That's what you're thinking. Isn't that what you were thinking, Mr. McNeal?!"

The fifth-year Gryffindor shrunk against the wall. "Yes," he said quickly. "Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking..."

"Well you thought wrong!" Ron hollered, pounding his fist on the wall and causing Hannah Longley to shriek and jump backwards, falling into one of the desks. "Dueling is about who - can - survive - the - longest. If you're in a duel with a qualified wizard, they aren't going to mess about with disarming spells! Oh no, they're much…" Ron narrowed his eyes, "…much too advanced for that. They'll hurl every curse they've got at you. Freezing spells, blinding spells, memory charms - and do you think you can block every single one of those spells, Mr. O'Connor?"

Shaun O'Connor paused, considering this. "Yes?" he tried. He flinched as Professor Weasley banged his fist on the wall again.

"No!" he snapped. "Of course you can't! You have to be fast! Alert! Constant vigilance!" he roared. Ron suddenly stopped and blinked, having surprised even himself.

He had been in a foul mood ever since Percy's wedding. Not only had he succeeded in making a fool out of himself in front of his family, all those Muggles, and the Minister for Magic, but he'd also nearly given away the Weasley's real identities. As a horrified Percy explained later, no Muggle would have actually tackled someone during the throwing of the bouquet - it was supposed to be a fun sort of game. Plus, it was only for single women. Ron hadn't ever felt more humiliated in his entire life, and it was all Hermione's fault. She hadn't explained the concept of the game properly, she hadn't warned him it was only for women (though she claimed she did, of course, which didn't convince him for a moment - he wasn't that pig-headed, to have missed a warning like that), and, to make matters worse, she had laughed at him along with the rest. She'd stood there, and laughed. Both her and Harry. The worst part was, she still wasn't taking his anger seriously; Hermione seemed to think it was all a funny misunderstanding, and now some sort of joke. But Ron Weasley's pride had suffered a blow. And when Ron Weasley's pride suffered a blow…

"Good heavens, what is going on in here?" Hermione's voice called as she stepped into the classroom. The door had been left open. Narrowing his eyes, Professor Weasley spun around, glaring dangerously.

"Oh, hello Professor Granger," he said coldly. "Why, I was just pointing out that O'Connor here is an idiot. Now if you'll excuse us…" Behind him, the students gave Professor Granger a few pleading looks.

Hermione smirked as she casually strolled into the classroom. She still obviously thought it was all a big joke. Though Ron wasn't entirely furious with her, he was still offended and irritated. Now she was strolling into his classroom as if she owned the castle. Professor Weasley folded his arms.

"Really?" Hermione said lightly, a smile playing at the corners of her lips. "I wasn't aware dueling consisted of a lot of banging on the walls and yelling."

A few of the girls in the class giggled, while a couple of the boys snickered. Professor Weasley threw an authoritative glare their way, which quickly silenced them.

"I wasn't aware you were in the habit of teaching other classes, Professor," Ron countered through clenched teeth.

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting the lesson, Professor Weasley?"

"Yes, I believe we already established that, Professor Granger."

"Well, you're obviously the expert here, so I'll leave you to your devices, Professor."

The students' heads swung back and forth, watching their verbal sparring.

"Was that sarcasm, Professor?"

"Excellent observation, Professor." An annoying, playful smirk was now on Hermione's face.

"Perhaps you'd like to teach the class, Professor?"

"Certainly, Professor." Hermione surprised the class, especially Ron, by taking out her wand and pointing it in the vague direction of Professor Weasley. "I expect you've covered both disarming and blocking? Because I could demonstrate - "

"Are you challenging me to a duel?" Ron exclaimed in surprise.

Hermione shrugged lightly, that smirk still on her face. "I don't believe I was. Are you challenging me to a duel?"

"Well, if the shoe fits…"

"Very well," Hermione replied coolly, rolling up her sleeves.

"That was a joke, Herm - I mean, Professor," Ron said quickly. He tried pushing her towards the door. "Now run along, I expect you have classes to teach - "

Hermione didn't budge. Instead, she folded her arms and raised an eyebrow. "Are you suggesting I'm incapable of dueling at a fifth-year level?"

"Was that an insult to us?" Paul White whispered to his best friend and partner-in-crime, Roger Ramone. Roger shrugged his shoulders.

Ron attempted to hold back. He attempted to shut his mouth. But he just couldn't resist.

"No," Professor Weasley grinned smugly. "I'm suggesting you're incapable of dueling me."

The class, now thoroughly enjoying the entertainment, let out a collective "Ooooh…"

Hermione's eyes flashed dangerously. She continued rolling up her sleeves, breathing heavily out of her nostrils. Now she was genuinely angry. Ron, feeling he had paid dearly for his moment of superiority, panicked.

"Alright, alright, you win," he muttered under his breath, grabbing Hermione's arm and steering her away from the students, so that they both had their backs to them.

Hermione's anger died away. "It's your own fault you weren't listening to me," Hermione said, content. "I said, 'Single women'."

"No you didn't," Ron insisted. Not in order to start a fight, but he insisted all the same.

"I did so!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

The two seemed to realize at the same instant that they were behaving like two-year-olds in front of a class full of students, who now all looked exceptionally amused. The student body had suspicions about the so-called platonic relationship between the two teachers (the fact that Hermione had grabbed Ron and kissed him at last year's graduation ceremony seemed to have fueled the suspicion); in fact, the Defense Against the Dark Arts and Arithmancy Professors were often a hot topic on the Hogwarts rumour mill. Ron caught a glimpse of the gossip-happy Flora Canter out of the corner of his eye, who was about a second away from grabbing a quill and taking notes.

Hermione obviously caught on too. "Ron, this is highly unprofessional," she said under her breath, as if she had just realized what she was doing. "I'm really very sorry for disturbing your class, I should have never - "

"That's alright, really - " Ron said hastily, relieved.

"Alright," she said in relief. "Sorry to interrupt," she repeated, this time to the class. They looked thoroughly disappointed as she turned to leave.

"Not a problem," Professor Weasley said, turning back towards his class. "It's for the best; you would've only gotten hurt anyway."

Hermione froze at the door, her back going rigid. Ron mentally kicked himself - he didn't mean for it to come out like that. But it was too late; Hermione had spun around, wand drawn, and one hand on her hip.

"Alright, Weasley," she snapped. "Let's see what you can do." This was met by much cheering on the class' part.

"Oooh!" Flora exclaimed excitedly, bouncing from foot to foot. "Lovers' quarrel!"

Hermione's stubbornness and the fact that she always had to be right, and Ron's temper and easily offended pride were always a lethal combination. Not to mention the competitiveness that had always been present between them. In a blatant disregard of all professionalism, Ron slowly drew his own wand, shaking his head. The class watched with baited breath.

"You've been warned…" he said in a sing-song voice. The two marched towards each other, wands drawn. They halted, inches apart.

"I've been waiting to do this for a long time," Ron said in a low voice, grinning. Ron, and probably Hermione too, had always secretly wondered who would come out on top in a duel - Hermione, who had learned everything from books, or Ron, who had learned everything from experience. Now was their chance to find out.

"Smirk while you still can," Hermione warned, giving him a look. They both spun around and started walking in opposite directions.

"Now watch closely," Ron called to his class as he walked. If they were going to duel, it might as well have some educational purpose. "I don't suppose any of you have seen an actual duel between qualified wizards and witches - not since we got rid of the infamous Dueling Club - so pay attention. On the count of three the duel will begin. Note the first spell I start out with, and remember what I told you before. One…two…" Ron chanced a glance over the back of his shoulder, just to see where Hermione was standing. Her back was to him, straight and alert. "Three."

"Expelliarmus!" Hermione immediately cried. It took Ron off-guard; the class watched as his wand flew into the air and towards Hermione's awaiting hand. Roger whistled loudly, the rest of the class laughing at the fact that Professor Weasley's own words of wisdom about the Disarming spell not being used in duels had backfired on him. Ron clenched his teeth. If she wanted to play that way, he would play that way. No exceptions just because she happened to be his girlfriend.

"Accio wand!" Ron hollered. He looked extremely foolish, as he had no wand to summon his wand back to him in the first place. Hermione knew this, and for an instant there was a smug look on her face - but then it was replaced by shock as, to her and the class' shock, Ron's wand flew back into his hand.

"Ha," Ron said victoriously, twirling his wand around in his hand. "Some people don't always need a wand to do magic." The class looked thoroughly impressed. "Though it helps," he added as an afterthought.

Hermione had recovered from the initial shock, and now looked angry. "That's cheating! Dueling is done only with wands - "

"My classroom, my rules, sweetheart," Ron said cheekily, getting caught up in the adrenaline of the duel. "But I'll stick to the rules from now on, for your sake." This infuriated Hermione even more, who decided to shut him up with a well-placed, "Locomotor Mortis!"

Ron fell to the ground, his legs locked together. But a flash of victory in Hermione's eyes caused him to hurl his torso, the only portion of his body that he still had control over, forward to yell, "Impedimenta!"

Hermione's arm seem to freeze as she attempted another spell. Yet she hadn't been stopped altogether, only slowed to a snails pace. This gave Ron enough time to perform the counter-curse to Leg Locker and scramble upwards.

"You see," he said to the class, "the spells that come in handy. Leg-Locker was effective in getting me to the ground, but it left me free to use my wand. Yet since Petrificus Totalus can't be used in a duel, it would have been smarter to use the Arm-Locker - "

Ron realized with a jolt that the slowing spell had worn off as Hermione suddenly jerked back into regular motion, crying, "Rictusempra!"

Ron fell to the ground, laughing madly as the tickling spell worked its magic. "It would have been smart to use the Arm-Locker curse," Professor Granger continued calmly, as if her opponent wasn't hysterically laughing on the ground, "if such a curse existed."

Ron managed to perform the counter-curse on himself somehow and once again jumped to his feet, his freckled face crimson from laughing.

"Furnunculus!" Hermione immediately cried, wasting no time.

"Bubbleboblius!" Ron quickly countered. A blue, transparent, bubble suddenly enveloped him. It acted as a shield, reflecting Hermione's curse back her way. She ducked, and it hit the wall instead, which immediately began sprouting fungus-like boils.

Ron's reflexes were superb; all those years of being an Auror obviously hadn't been wasted. He blocked, ducked, or avoided nearly every spell Hermione threw at him, playing the defensive for awhile. Then, when she would least expect it, he'd switch to offense and send a curse her way, which she had to work hard to avoid. He was tiring her out, trying to get the upper hand. Hermione was becoming frustrated, and thus, sloppy. She may have had almost every spell known to wizards filed away in that brain of hers, but Ron had the experience of duelling and fighting much worse things than her. Finally she seemed to give up as a particularly nasty spell that made her short of breath, not to mention not very clear-headed, hit her.

"Stay…still…" Hermione huffed, trying to aim her wand at the agile former Auror.

"See the advantage of being quick?" Professor Weasley told his class, darting around to avoid curse after curse and quite enjoying himself.

"Argh!" Hermione exclaimed. Setting her jaw, she tried one last spell. "Sedimenta!"

"Missed me again," Professor Weasley teased as the jet of bright yellow light hit the ground beneath him. But a satisfied smile was slowly spreading across Hermione's face.

"I wasn't aiming for you," she said triumphantly.

Professor Weasley suddenly let out a startled yelp as his right leg abruptly sunk into the floor, which had suddenly become incredibly soft. This was followed by his left leg, and then the rest of his torso. Wide-eyed and struggling madly, Ron Weasley sunk slowly into the ground, feeling as if he was being dragged downwards. He finally stopped wriggling around, and his sinking slowed. By now, only his fiery head was visible above the tiled floor of the Defense Against Dark Arts class.

"I win," Hermione smiled sweetly.

"Wicked!" Roger Ramone exclaimed enthusiastically. "It's like, quicksand or something."

"No, really?" Ron snapped sarcastically. The movement of his jaw caused his mouth to sink into the floor as well.

"You're not going to let him sink, are you?" Annie Miller of Hufflepuff blurted out.

"Of course not!" Professor Granger answered, scoffing. "Corpus rightus."

Ron gave a yell as the floor spit him out, then settled itself back into it's solid form. He immediately jumped up, brushing himself off, very red in the face. His class stared at him expectantly. Hermione folded her arms, still smiling in satisfaction and breathing heavily.

"Well then," Ron finally said, clearing his throat. "You're just lucky I let you win, Professor Granger."

Paul White started coughing loudly. "Like hell you did," he muttered, followed by more hacking noises in an attempt to cover it up.

The tiny little bell on Ron's desk suddenly leapt into the air and rang shrilly. The students, not bothering to put their desks back, gathered their books and hurried out of the classroom, chattering excitedly. Flora Canter shoved a few people aside, anxious to be the first to spread the story of the duel. Ron and Hermione both stood silently at the front of the empty classroom, watching them leave. Hannah Longley banged the door shut behind her, and Hermione suddenly let out a strangled noise.

"Yeah, you won," Ron said savagely, violently putting the desks back into place with a wave of his wand. "Go on, gloat. Gloat and brag and - "

But Hermione only shook her head wordlessly and clutched Ron's arm. "You could've killed me!"

Ron looked slightly less peeved. "Well, yes…I suppose I could have…" he said importantly.

"You're a fully qualified Auror!" Hermione shrieked shrilly. "And…and in a duel…one of us could have got hurt…or the students! In front of the students! They could've easily been hurt! What were we thinking?!"

The implications of what they had just done slowly dawned on the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. "Oh…"

Hermione whimpered. "We are going to be in so much trouble…"

----------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, this was just a fun for-the-hell of it chapter. Again. Sorry. It was just mainly to show what it's like for the two of them teaching together, and to be like "Hey, what's goin' on with the students?" Yeah. I'm actually gonna start a plot in the next one.

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for…the review song.

Note: I do not own Play That Funky Music White Boy, or any other funky musics I may use in my review songs. ^_^

*Darkness enshrouds you, the reader, then suddenly…*

Music: Bow wow wow wow wow wowowowowow…

Ron: *is revealed, sporting a one-piece, sparkly, Saturday Night Fever disco outfit and an afro* Heeeeeeeeeey review it nooooooow! Wooooah yeah…

Once I read a little fanfic,

Entitled 'Bury the Hatchet'!

The author never had no problems,

'Cept with her keyboard, what a stupid gadget.

So in this certain fanfic,

Some real crazy stuff took place…

Fred and George: Yeah there was dancin'!

Harry: Romancin'!

Dobby: Some madmen and some poison!

Hermione: Silver finally finished…

Dumbledore: And the reviewers turned around and shouted…

All: Write yourself a sequel, Silver! Write yourself a sequel toniiiiiight! Write yourself a sequel, Silver!

Me: So I wrote a sequel, now write me a review or else I'll cry! Or else I'll cry…

Music: *abruptly stops*

Ron: Who're you?

Me: …Harry Potter.

Harry: Uh, I'm Harry Potter.

Me: Hey buddy, your identity crisis is not my problem.

~Fin~