Rated: Serious R value. About the same as other sex scenes I've read at FanFiction.net, but this is a warning. If you don't like sex scenes, or shouldn't be reading them – then don't.
Summary: Buffy and Spike make-up (big surprise). They stop by his hotel to pick up his stuff, then go back to the Summers' house.
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy own everything. But I wouldn't mind leasing Spike from them for a couple of weeks :)
Feedback: As always, appreciated.
Seeing Spike Through Buffy's Eyes Chapter 14 - Perfect
Neither the Master Vampire, nor the Slayer sitting in his arms saw the group leave. Neither would have cared. For months Buffy had haunted Spike. Faith's letters were worn around the edges from frequent reading. With every petite blond that walked into Slayers, an unrealistic hope rose in his chest that Buffy had found him. When he watched television, inevitably his eyes would wander to her photograph at the top. Watching her these past weeks had been sweet torture. She filled his dreams, both awake and asleep. And now she was in his arms. He continued whispering comforting words in her ear as she cried, letting his hand run through her hair and down her back. Just to touch her again…
Buffy refused to loosen the grip she had around his neck. If she did, she would have to look at his face. What if it was another dream? What if she was imagining his voice like she had so many nights in the past? What if when she looked up, she was alone again, face pressed into the cool pillow on her bed, not the cool chest of the vampire she had longed for? Buffy didn't want to face reality; it would only hurt. Even a Slayer could only take so much pain.
Spike couldn't stand the tears any longer. "Buffy, you've got to stop crying." He placed a kiss on her forehead. "Please, luv. This isn't the Slayer I left. You're going to drown her in all those tears." Spike continued to kiss her. At least the parts he could reach – her forehead, her temple, the delicate skin on the inside of the arm laced around his neck.
"Don't want to." Buffy was talking into his chest. She knew she sounded like a child, but it felt so GOOD to be held like this… protected instead of protecting. "Just a dream. Only a dream. Don't want to wake up." Her tears were subsiding. She was fascinated by the feel of Spike's lips on her arm. Had her arms always been this sensitive?
She could feel the rumbling in his chest as he quietly laughed. "So, you dream about me, Slayer? Are they all honeyed words and tender kisses?" Spike placed another set of whispered kisses to her arm. "Or do they have more 'bite' to them?" Spike bent his head. With human teeth, he scraped the inside of Buffy's elbow. A shiver ran through her entire body. With that encouragement, Spike continued his assault on the sensitive area, scratching the surface with his dull teeth, licking the tender flesh.
Buffy loosened her grip enough to press her arm into his mouth, letting him completely devour the area. Slowly she moved her head from his chest to the side of his neck, mimicking his actions on his own sensitive skin. Spike started to purr. The sound caused Buffy to wiggle in his lap, her excuse for a skirt riding higher up her thighs. In seconds Spike's hands found the newly exposed flesh. His fingers gripping at her, pulling her closer. He broke the contact with her arm, needing to find her lips.
As he nuzzled at her neck, encouraging her to look up at him, Buffy's hands started exploring his chest, his arms, pushing him farther down the wall at his back. Sharp lines, solid muscles, cool skin. This wasn't one of her dreams; this was so much better. By the time she finally looked up at him, Spike was practically lying on the alley floor, Buffy sprawled on top of him. Hazel eyes met blue, both filled with desire, longing, and something more. Their mouths inches apart.
Spike raised one hand to the side of Buffy's face, caressing her cheek. Slowly the tip of his tongue touched her lips, tracing their outline, then retreated back into his mouth, magically pulling her forward to follow. Buffy hesitated for a moment before claiming him. It was an unusual kiss for them, sweet and tender, not full of violence and hunger. Spike's mouth opened under hers, his tongue darting into hers. A moan escaped from Buffy's throat.
Spike broke the passionate kiss. "Missed you." Buffy smiled, leaning forward again to continue where they left off. She was stopped by Spike's next words. "Luv, we can't." Confusion filled her eyes, mixed with the pain of his rejection. Spike smirked at her. "No, luv, we will. Trust me. But not here." Spike was pushing them back into a sitting position. "Don't fancy being interrupted by Peaches or the Scoobies when they come out to check on us."
Buffy leaned into him again, hands still exploring under his shirt. "They won't. I told them not to bother us." She was pulling Spike's body towards hers. "Need you." Her lips almost touched his before he pulled back again.
"Buffy, no, not here." He gently pushed her off his lap in an attempt to stand. "I won't take you in an alley again when I have a perfectly good bed waiting minutes away. I don't want it to be like that." Buffy looked up at him from her place on the pavement. Spike held out his hand to help her stand. She stared at it, not reaching back. "Slayer, are you coming or not?" Spike was getting worried. Is that all she wanted? A little rough and tumble in the alley? Something she could deny to herself in the morning? Is that where things still stood between them?
Buffy's eyes moved from his outstretched hand to his agitated eyes. The instant he had broken their physical contact, Buffy realized how tired she was. Months, hell years of fighting. Fighting him, fighting herself. God, she was just so tired. "Can't stand." It was all she could say.
Relief washed over Spike's face. He bent over, picking the petite blond up in his arms. "Should have said that in the first place." Buffy snuggled into his arms as Spike left the alley, heading towards his car. "Slayer, have you gained weight? I remember you being much lighter than this."
Buffy jerked her head up to look at him. There was fire in her eyes. A slow smile spread across Spike's face. "There's my girl. I wondered where she was hiding. All those tears and sweet words. Almost thought she had disappeared." Spike stopped in front of a black Cadillac. He let Buffy slide down his body, delighting in the contact, leaning her against the side door of the car.
"You're going to pay for that." Buffy's eyes were serious, but not threatening.
Spike looked at her. His voice almost a purr as he spoke. "And whatcha ya gonna to do, Slayer? Stake me good and proper?"
Buffy scooted closer to Spike, if it were possible. One hand she placed on the back of his neck, drawing him down to her mouth. Her other hand ran down the plains of his chest, past the top of his jeans, and settled in front of the bulge in his pants. She ran her tongue along the chords of his neck, up around his ear, stopping to nibble on the lobe. As she gently squeezed the erection through the roughness of his jeans, she whispered huskily into his ear. "I'm going to run my hands over every inch of you, from head to toe. Then I'm going to start all over again with my mouth. I'm going to make you moan and beg for me, but I won't let you have what you want until I'm down. Then, I'm going to take you inside me so slow it will be like torture, inch by inch, pulling back each time before I slide down a little further. And when you can't stand it anymore, I'm going squeeze those Slayer muscles you love so much. I'm going to make you scream my name." Buffy backed away from him, running her tongue over her swollen bottom lip. "Any questions?"
A growl escaped from deep in Spike's throat before he crushed his mouth to hers. He lifted her again, slamming her back into the car. His hands road up her thighs, sliding under her skirt until they were clutching her bare bottom. Christ, he thought, she's wearing a thong. As he continued his brutal attack on her mouth, his fingers crawled closer to where they most desperately wanted to be. The smell of her enveloped him.
Before Spike could touch her where she most wanted to be touched, Buffy broke the kiss. Breathlessly she said, "Spike, not here, remember?"
Right that moment Spike didn't care where they were. "Bugger me." He reluctantly pulled back, letting her legs fall to the ground. He reached inside his pocket for the keys to the car. If he didn't have her soon…
Buffy watched as he tried to unlock the car door. This felt so good! No secrets from her friends. No shame at wanting to be with him. To honestly tell him exactly what she wanted to do. To delight in the reaction she got from him because of it. It was pure power and it sent a rush straight through her. She giggled. "Spike, you're shaking."
He opened the door and grabbed her, almost throwing her inside. "Of course I'm shaking. You've never said anything like that to me before." He sat down behind the wheel, running his hands through his short blond hair. "Almost came right there, I did." Spike let out on unnecessary breath as he started the engine.
Before he could think, Buffy was in his lap again. "We wouldn't want that to happen, now would we." She was wiggling her bottom, taunting him through his snug jeans. "You'll just have to drive fast, I guess, because I'm not gonna stop."
Spike used one hand to support Buffy's back, while he gripped the steering wheel with the other as he began to drive. "Buffy luv, this isn't fair. I can't touch you while I'm driving."
Buffy's hands stopped their exploration. "You're right. It isn't fair." She didn't remove her hands from the inside of his shirt. Didn't want to break the contact. Couldn't. Instead she just sat there in his lap. Breathing in the scent of him. Memorizing the feel of him under her hands. She had learned so much since he was gone. Had learned to accept the fact that this was her life. No more running, no more hiding. She was in love with a vampire – again. But this time, she wasn't going to let him go. She realized she had been quiet for too long when she felt him start to tense under her. Say something, Buffy, she thought. He's starting to think your changing your mind again. "But you can talk to me." She moved her head back up to his ear. "And I can talk to you." She remembered the erotic dream she'd had a few nights ago. "I do dream about you. Dream about touching you. I remember exactly how you feel when you're inside me. I remember all the ways you used to touch me. God, I missed your hands. And your mouth. Your tongue as you tasted me. Making me moan. Did you miss me too?"
Spike was trying to concentrate on the road, but Buffy's sex talk was distracting. Should have taken her in the alley, he thought. "Yes, luv, I missed you too. The feel of you, such soft skin stretched over the body of a warrior. The taste of you, honey and vanilla and musk. And the way you react. Never knew anyone as expressive as you are. Never the same twice. I missed looking at you as your orgasm hit. I missed making you want me with a whispered word, a longing look. Making you come even though I've barely touched you." Spike stole a glance at her. Buffy's eyes were glazing over. "Sort of like right now. Don't start without me, Slayer. We have all night. I promise. We're here, luv."
Spike pulled into the parking lot of his hotel. Buffy had been so busy with him, she hadn't noticed were he was going. As she looked around, she spoke. "This isn't my house."
"No, luv. It's my hotel. Come on, Slayer, I need to get you inside and naked as soon as possible." Spike opened the door of the car, trying to carry Buffy with him as he got out.
But she pulled away from him, scrambling to the other side of the car. "No. Spike, I want to go to my house." Buffy wanted him in her bed, just like she'd dreamed. She had no intentions of telling him that she loved him until they were behind the closed door of her bedroom. Hotels were for secrets. She didn't want him to be a secret anymore. "I'm not getting out of this car, so you can just get back in and drive us home."
Spike couldn't believe her. "Buffy, we can't go to your house. The others will know. Dawn will be home soon. Luv, you don't want that, really you don't." Spike was trying to protect her. She had a normal life now, she didn't need him mucking it up. He wanted her, loved her, but he knew that she couldn't handle the reality of them together. She could leave his hotel room in the morning disgusted with herself, but he didn't want to – wouldn't be able to – leave her bed once he was invited in.
Buffy was getting angry again. Desire slipping away, quickly being replaced by rage. "The others already know, you idiot. Do you think they would have left me alone with you like that if they didn't know? Do you think Angel would have walked away unless he knew this was what I wanted?" Buffy took a deep breath. "You're gone for months, then come back and try to tell me what I want. Who the hell do you think you are?" Buffy got out of the car, slamming the passenger's side door. "Just because you want to keep this a dirty little secret, just because you don't want to be part of my life, don't act like you are trying to protect me. I can take a hint. I'll find my own way home." Buffy turned to walk away. Stupid vampire, she thought, telling me what to do. I'm the Slayer for God's sake!
Spike stood there stunned for a minute. The Scoobies knew? Then the reality of what she said hit him. Of course they knew! That's why they hadn't tried to stop the fight. That's why they walked away when Buffy was crying in his arms. You bloody stupid git. "Buffy, wait." He was beside her in seconds. "Luv, I'm sorry. I didn't realize. Please come back. We'll go to the house, I promise. I just need to pick up a few things first." Buffy kept on walking. "Buffy, I love you, please."
Buffy stopped, but she wouldn't turn around. "Say it again."
Spike stared at her back. Say what again? Then he realized what she needed to hear. This was new territory for both of them. Before she had run away from his declarations. Something had changed about his Slayer, something that wasn't in the letters Faith had written to him. Spike walked to stand in front of her. He tilted her head up so that he could look into her eyes. "I love you, Buffy. I've loved you from the moment I first saw you dancing in the Bronze. I've loved you the entire time I was gone. I'll love you until my body turns to dust and probably for centuries after. Please, let me take you home so that I can show you how much I love you."
Buffy's eyes clouded with tears. She wanted to tell him. This would be the perfect time. No, it would wait. She had plans. "Okay." They held hands as they walked back to the waiting car. Spike held open the door for her as she slid into the passenger's seat.
"Let me run in and pick up my things. I'll be right back." Spike closed the door. He'd never understand that girl.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
The ride to the Summers' house wasn't like the quick ride to the hotel. Buffy kept to her own side of the car, although she did hold Spike's hand the entire time. Once they arrived, Buffy walked to the front door, waiting for Spike to join her after getting his bag out of the car. Together, they walked inside. When the door was closed, Spike kissed her. It was a tender kiss, full of promise. Tonight was special for them. He didn't know why, but he knew he didn't want to lose the feeling again. Spike followed Buffy up the stairs. He stood at her open bedroom door as she walked inside.
Buffy turned around, "Spike, what is it?" They hadn't spoken a word since the conversation outside the hotel.
Spike was waiting by the door. He wasn't following her. "Invite me in, Slayer. I know you don't need to, but I want you too."
Buffy understood. He wanted to be invited in to her world. No more creeping in through the window, or going through her things when she wasn't there. He wanted to belong. She remembered him standing outside her front door the night they fought Glory, telling here to pass the weapons over the threshold, and the look on his face when she invited him in. She remembered him saying, 'I know you don't love me. I know I'm a monster, but you treat me like a man, and that's…' Buffy understood so much about him. "Spike, come in."
Spike walked into her room. "You have one minute to get out of those clothes or I rip them off." He sat on the edge of her bed, untying the laces of his boots. He glanced up at her shocked expression. "I mean it, Slayer. Hurry up."
Buffy kicked her shoes across the floor. "Don't call me Slayer. In this room I'm just Buffy." She was hastily pulling her top over her head.
"The weapons chest hiding in your closest is a point against you, luv." In bare feet Spike crossed to her. She was naked except for her black underwear. He slipped his arms around her waist. "And you could never be 'just Buffy'. Buffy is a very complicated person. She's the Slayer, but she's also a friend, a big sis, a lover, a partner. All of those things make up the package. And I love all of them. Your minute is up." Spike swung Buffy into his arms, kissed her as he crossed the room, then laid her on the bed. He took a step back so that he could stare at her. "I love looking at you. I used to think about you just like this when we were fighting. All naked and waiting for me, wanting me. Never thought it would actually happen."
Buffy raised her arms to him, her second invitation that night. "We have all night, you know. And all day tomorrow. Dawn's not coming back until Sunday afternoon. She's staying with Willow and Tara."
Spike threw his t-shirt into the far corner. His pants soon followed. "Good. Don't feel like sharing." He slid into bed next to his Slayer. Buffy gave him another tender kiss. Spike leaned on one arm as he looked down at her. The change was still amazing to him. She wasn't fighting him. She was open to him, to what they shared together. They were in her house, her bed. "Who are you? You aren't the angry young woman I left months ago. What happened to you?"
Buffy pulled him back to her body. "We'll talk about it later. Right now I just want to be with you." Buffy's kiss was still tender, but it was filled with need. She ran her hands along the muscles of his back and up again. She wanted to feel all of him. Buffy flipped Spike unto his back, straddling him so she could continue her exploration. Spike let her take the lead.
Buffy watched his body's as she touched him. She started at his wrist, slowly moving up his arms. Those muscular arms that could wield a battle-ax or hold her tenderly. She moved to his shoulders. Strong shoulders that she had cried on so many times in the past. She watched as his pecks involuntarily flexed as she passed over them. She played with the nipples on his chest. Rolling them in her fingers, pinching them. Spike moaned. Buffy watched his abdomen sink in as he took an unneeded breath while she gently splayed her hands across his stomach. She moved off Spike's body as she carried her assault lower. She played with his thighs, kneading the muscles she found there. She ran her hands down his calves. So much power, and it was all hers to control.
"Buffy, I don't know how much more of this I can stand." Spike sounded desperate. If he could, he would be sweating under her sweet examination. "Please, luv." He reached for her.
Buffy batted his hand away. "I told you, mine until I'm done. You just lie there, and keep your hands to your self. I'm not finished." True to her earlier word, Buffy began her exploration again, this time following the path her hands had taken with her mouth.
Spike moaned and twitched under her. "Feels so good." Spike was ready to burst and she hadn't even touched his erection. But in his mind the tongue that was playing with his nipples had already moved lower.
Buffy must have read his mind. She grabbed him in her warm hands, sliding up and down in a familiar rhythm. "Almost done. Just one more thing to do." Buffy leaned over to take Spike in her mouth.
Spike nearly jumped off the bed. "Jesus, Slayer!" Spike's eyes rolled back in his head. "Buffy, you have to stop, please. I can't hold on much longer." But Buffy wasn't listening. She slowly licked him from the head to the base, tasting the pre-cum at the tip before repeating the entire motion. Buffy put her warm mouth over him, sucking hard, then soft, as her hands continued to pump him. She opened her mouth a little wider, so that she could take all of him into her warmth. Spike screamed her name as the tip of him hit the back of her throat.
Buffy let go of him. "Do you like that?" She was teasing him. He was dieing and she was teasing him. Buffy moved so that she was lying between his legs, her chin resting on his thigh. "Spike, if you can't control yourself, I swear I'll never do this again." Spike nodded in agreement. "Now just enjoy." Buffy dipped her head and started the whole process over.
Spike's body shook with pleasure. His mind couldn't take the mix of sensations. Her hands moving in a gentle rhythm, as she used her mouth on him. And her mouth! It was like being inside a forest fire. Wet flames engulfing him until he knew he would turn to dust. When she finally stopped, he whimpered with loss.
Buffy looked up at him. Spike's face was turned towards the ceiling, his eyes closed, his jaw clenched. Like I was torturing him, she thought. She laugh at the scene in front of her if it wasn't so sweet. "Spike, I'm done now."
Buffy had forgotten how fast her vampire could move. One second she was lying between his legs, the next she was lying on top of his body, eye to eye with him. "You're the most amazing woman I've ever known." A moment ago, he was on the verge of breaking into a thousand pieces, now he looked at her with surprising gentleness. Spike kissed her eyelids, then her cheeks, finally placing a chaste kiss on her mouth. "Now let's see what we can do for you."
Spike turned Buffy so that her back was against the mattress. "I wanted to take this slow, but I don't think I could stand it anymore than you could." Spike's fingers went straight to the place she needed his touch the most. "It got you all hot and bothered didn't it, luv. Having me in your mouth. Let's see how ready you are for me." He found what he was looking for between her thighs. He ran one finger over her swollen mound. Buffy arched her back to push into his touch, as he rolled over the hard nub. "Do you like that? Is that what you want?" Spike increased his speed, as Buffy moaned. Still keeping up the pressure, Spike slipped two fingers inside of her. "So wet, so warm, just like your mouth." He moved his fingers, teasing her inner walls. Her Slayer muscles reacted, constricting around him. "I would dream about you at night. Dream of putting my fingers inside you, dream of stoking you from the inside. Did you dream about that too?" Buffy didn't answer. She was too caught up in the feeling of him. His fingers, inside and out, giving her the pleasure she wanted. "I know I could make you come right now. Just by touching you. But I need to taste you, Buffy."
Spike's fingers never left her as he bent his head between her thighs. His tongue took up the same rhythm on her clit as his finger had a moment before. Spike moved lightening fast over her, using the tip to apply the pressure he knew she liked. He took her almost to the point of collapse, then backed off, blowing cool air onto her most heated parts. Buffy whimpered, but shivered at his cool breath. A random thought crossed her brain. The two of them, fire and ice. Was Spike saying something?
"Buffy, look at me." Spike needed to see her eyes when he pushed her over the edge. "I love you." Spike never broke contact with her hazel orbs as he began to taste her again. His fingers still moving inside of her, following the pace his tongue was setting. He felt her climax begin all around him.
As her first orgasm reached its plateau, Buffy opened her mouth to scream. Spike knew she would. She always screamed his name when he took her like this. But he wasn't ready for the words she was about to say. Buffy eyes were still locked with his. "Spike! I love you!" Buffy exploded into a million pieces as she came crashing back to earth.
Spike never stopped touching her. He watched her continue to shake as she recovered from her orgasm. He let his fingers slip out of her, as his tongue gently swept up and down. When she regained control, he slid up her body, lying next to her on the bed.
Buffy looked over at him, confusion and bliss mixed across her face. "Aren't you going to say anything?" She had been waiting months to tell him she loved him. This was not the response she was hoping for.
Spike stared at the ceiling. He didn't want to look at her. It was everything he had ever wanted, but he knew that she would be sorry she said it. "It's okay, Buffy. I know it was just an in-the-moment thing. I won't hold you to it."
Buffy shifted so that she was lying on her side. She tried to look at him, but he turned his head to the window. "What?"
Spike was barely keeping a reign on his emotions. He had seldom cried in front of her; he wasn't going to do it now. "I understand. It was different this time between us. And you needed to make it special. But I won't hold it against you. I'll never bring it up, I swear."
Buffy felt her anger take hold. How dare he! She finally opened her heart and he throws it back in her face. Then, mentally, she took a step back. What was going on? He won't look at me. He won't touch me, and we aren't even finished. The words! Oh, God. He doesn't think I mean them. He thinks I was caught up in 'the moment'. Buffy crawled back on top of Spike's body. "Spike, look at me." Slowly Spike turned his head. He had an unreadable expression on his face, but his blue eyes were filled with pain. "The day you left, I was looking for you. I had the most incredible news to tell you, but I couldn't find you. Then I talked to Dawn, and for a moment, I wanted to kill my little sister. I finally figure out who I want, and she goes and runs them out of town." Buffy smiled at the cute, but dazed vampire under her. "Spike, it wasn't a moment. I love you. It took me awhile to understand that, but I do love you. Trust me."
Spike was trying to take it all in. Buffy said she loved him, had loved him for months. It wasn't a mistake in the heat of sex. It was real and solid. That's why she had made such a fuss at the hotel. She wanted to tell him here. Spike lifted his head to meet her waiting lips. Together, they rolled over the bed, never breaking the passionate kiss. Buffy widened her legs, as Spike prepared to enter her. As he positioned himself above her, he whispered in her ear. "Invite me in, Slayer."
A tear rolled down Buffy's cheek as she answered him. "I love you." Spike thrust into her. Their mating was quick, powerful and perfect, each warrior crying the other's name as they found their release.
---TBC
