Summary:       Buffy tells the Scoobies about the First Slayer.  Spike gets a visit from an unlikely person.

Disclaimer:    Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy own everything.  But I wouldn't mind leasing Spike from them for a couple of weeks :)

Feedback:     As always, appreciated.

Elizabeth

Buffy wasn't sure how she made it back to the car.  She didn't remember the ride home, or if she had said a word to Tara the entire way.  Her first conscious thought was walking into her living room.  Willow and Dawn had been watching television, but stood up to greet her.  Buffy walked to Dawn, wrapping her arms around her little sister, still not talking.

Willow looked across the room at Tara.  Tara raised her hands in front of her, shrugged her shoulders, and shook her head.  She wasn't sure what had happened to Buffy.  She didn't know what to tell her estranged girlfriend.  Buffy continued to ignore the two witches, focusing all her attention on Dawn.  When she pulled back from the hug, there were tears in Buffy's eyes.  "Dawnie, everything's going to be okay.  They're sending someone to help us.  I'm going to be whole again."

Dawn looked at her sister.  Through the tears, she could see relief and a happiness she hadn't seen since before mom died.  "What are you talking about, Buffy.  Who's sending someone?" 

Buffy kept her one arm around her sister's shoulder as she turned to look at Tara and Willow.  "I think we need to call a Scooby meeting.  I have so much to tell you all."

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The next day, the Scoobies sat around the table at the Magic Box after closing.  Buffy hadn't told anyone about her visit to the First Slayer, but like Dawn, Willow saw something in her best friend she hadn't seen in a long time.  She was anxious to learn about the pilgrimage.

"We're all here, Buff, so start with the talking."  Xander was hoping this didn't last long and didn't involve research.  He and Anya had a million details to go over about the wedding. 

Buffy looked at him from across the table.  "I can't yet.  We're still waiting for –" 

The door to the Magic Box opened as Spike walked in.  Buffy smiled when she saw him.  She had asked Dawn to stop by his crypt after school to invite him to the meeting.  He nodded to the Slayer as he crossed the room.  He hopped up on the counter, not wanting to sit with the rest of the group.  In Spike's mind, until Buffy decided where he belonged in her life, he wasn't one of them.    

Buffy bit her bottom lip as she watched him.  Her eyes traveled slowly up his body.  God, she missed him!  "I guess we can start now."  Buffy took a deep breath before beginning her tale.  "We all know why I wanted to learn more about the other Slayers, about their lives.  To help me make a decision about mine."  Buffy turned her attention away from Spike.  "But I also found that I have a connection with them.  And the more I read about them, the strong the connection feels.  The First Slayer made me see why.  She showed me all the past Slayers.  I could see their faces, feel their hearts.  And one word echoed in my brain – sister.  The First Slayer said 'We are The Slayer.  We are the Chosen One.'  I think all Slayers are part of the First Slayer."

"Like you're all connected to each other?"  Dawn asked.

"Yeah.  She said there was strength in our number.  I guess all of us, past and present, make up the whole."  Buffy wanted to make sure they understood that part before she moved on to the next.

"It makes sense.  Your Slayer power comes from one source.  All of you share that source.  All of you have that in common."  To Willow, this wasn't knew information.  She hadn't thought about it before, but it seemed a given to her.

Xander piped up.  "Sisters.  Like a sorority."  The other Scoobies stared at him.  "Come on.  All girl club, no boys allowed.  Sharing secrets and mondo-power.  Probably have a secret handshake too."

Buffy laughed.  "Not sure about the handshake, Xan, but we do have Slayer visions.  And the no-boys-allowed rule, strictly adhered to."  Buffy wavered.  "Maybe it doesn't seem like a big thing to you guys, but I always felt like I was alone in this."  Buffy's eyes shot up.  "Not that I don't need you guys!  We are the Scooby gang, defenders of the Hellmouth.  But the whole Slayer thing.  I never felt like anyone else could understand what I was going through.  With Kendra, it was a little better, but both of us were still low on the learning curve.  And when Faith was around, we came at it from different angles.  She was all power and darkness.  I was all defender of the weak and righteousness.  If things had been different, we could have learned from each other.  I think we both saw parts of what a Slayer is, but not the whole."

"But, Buffy, y-you knew there had been other Slayers."  Tara had felt like an outsider all her life.  She never thought Buffy had felt the same way.

Buffy smiled at Tara.  She was really getting to know her.  She was glad that they were friends.  "I knew they existed, but I didn't know about them.  The Council made sure of that.  I thought they were slaying machines.  All work, no play.  That I was different, because I struggle to find a balance, and sometimes I fail.  Because sometimes I let my emotions make my decisions.  But now I know them.  And I belong.  It's the best feeling in the entire world." 

Dawn grasped her sister's hand.  "After the fight with Glory at the hospital.  When you told me that we were sisters, real sisters.  That we shared the same blood, Summers' blood.  I felt like I belonged."  Buffy placed her hand on Dawn's cheek.  She understood.

Tara was the next to speak.  "And when my dad c-came for me.  What you said about me being a part of this family.  Everyone s-sticking up for me.  I felt like I belonged."

Anya had been silent through the conversation.  Unfinished wedding plans running through her head, but now she had something to say.  "Being an ex-vengeance demon stuck in a human body doesn't make life easy.  But the first time Xander told me he loved me, I felt like I belonged."  Xander leaned over to give Anya a kiss.

Willow spoke for both the original Scoobies.  "Xander and I were nerds in school.  We were together, but separate from everyone else.  Being your friend, helping you.  We felt like we belonged."  Willow looked over at Xander, who nodded his approval.     

Clapping interrupted the special moment between the friends.  Everyone turned to look in Spike's direction.  "Lovely sentiment, kiddies."  Spike jumped down from the counter.  "Slayer, are we done here?  I have other things to do, ya know.  Don't fancy wastin' my time with the mutual admiration society."

Buffy tilted her head as she looked at the vampire.  This is what Angel was talking about, she thought.  Spike had never had this sense of belonging.  Could she give it to him?  Buffy let go of her sister's hand.  "Actually, there is something else.  Could you stay, please?"

Spike leaned back on the counter.  He couldn't remember a time when Buffy had asked him stay.  She normally ordered him around.  "Make it quick, pet." 

Buffy wiped the tears from her eyes.  "Back to business."  Buffy cleared her throat.  "You all know about the change in me since I've been back.  The fact Spike can hit me now without triggering his chip.  What I haven't told you is that I still feel like a part of me is missing.  That's the real reason I wanted to go to the desert.  The First Slayer said a part was lost.  That the whole was broken.  She knew something was wrong.  She said the Powers That Be were sending a guide to help me find the missing part.  She also said I was her, their, our destiny."

Out of the corner of her eye, Buffy saw Spike nod in approval.  He had told her she came back wrong.  It wasn't just the chip, somehow he had known.  Before she could ever admit it to herself, he had known.  But then, he knew her better than anyone else did.  Buffy fought the urge to go to him.  She needed his support right now.  She had a feeling things were going to get worse before they got better.

Xander let out of low whistle.  "The Powers That Be?  We've never dealt with them before.  This must be real important if they're taking a part in it." 

Buffy agreed.  "That's my guess.  All of Willow and Tara's tests, the research about the spell.  Whatever is missing isn't something we could have found on our own."

"Did she give you a clue, Buffy?"  The more time that past, the more they found out about the spell, the more Willow blamed herself.  She couldn't do anything right.

"Nothing.  You know how cryptic she is.  All she said was the whole was broken.  I'm not sure who the guide is going to be, or what will happen when it gets here.  I just wanted to warn everyone that someone, or something, is coming to help."                  

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Spike was the first to leave the Magic Box, saying he was going on patrol.  He needed to think, something he couldn't do around Buffy.  It was the first time he had been in a room with her in weeks.  It took all his energy to listen to the Scoobies' conversation.  His mind had been filled with images of Buffy naked in his arms.  Her scent, vanilla and musk, swirling around him.  He needed to put space between them before he did something stupid. 

So she did come back wrong.  It explained so much to him.  The way she was disconnected from her friends, from Dawn, from the world around her.  The reason she was drawn to him.  Like looking for like.  He was dreading the arrival of the guide.  As soon as she was whole again, he didn't stand a chance.  She would never be with him. 

Of course, it wasn't like she was with him now.  Spike was getting used to not having Buffy in his life.  The reality of her was replaced with dreams of her, but he had lived on dreams for almost two years.  If he thought about it long enough, he could convince himself that all the time they spent together was a dream.  He could live in that dream world until the end of days. 

Spike swept through three of the more active cemeteries on his way back to his crypt.  He had dusted five vampires, making it a profitable night.    He was still thinking of his Slayer as he walked into his home.  So wrapped up in his own thoughts, he didn't realize he wasn't alone.  The hand on his shoulder startled him.  He swung around to meet his opponent.

Buffy smiled at the vampire in battle mode.  "Just me, Spike.  I needed to talk to you alone.  Away from the others."  Buffy took a step towards him.  He took a few cautious steps back. 

Spike looked at the Slayer, cocking his head, arching his eyebrow.  Something was wrong.  She hadn't been wearing that outfit when he saw her two hours ago.  He hadn't seen her in a short skirt since…  "Slayer, what happened to your hair?" 

Buffy's hand touched the end of the stresses hanging past her shoulders.  "Oh, the hair.  Yeah, I guess it is a little different, isn't it."  Gone was the short, uneven bob Spike had grown accustomed to.  Back in its place was the long liquid sun.  

Spike circled around the Slayer, examining her as he went.  If he didn't know better…  "Who are you?" 

A flutter of confusion registered in her hazel eyes, but was replaced by joy.  A smile spread across her face.  "How did you know?  They didn't think anyone would know." 

Spike kept one eye on the girl as he made his way over to his weapons.  "I asked you a question, pet.  Who the hell are you?  You're not my Slayer."  He hand was almost touching the hilt of his knife.

The girl walked over to Spike's chair, flopping down into it like she had a hundred times before.  She strained her head backwards to look at the vampire.  "No, I'm not your Slayer.  But I am Buffy.  See Spike, I'm part of what's missing."

The knife hit the ground with a loud clatter.

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Three hours and a bottle of whiskey later, Spike was still staring at the girl sitting in front of him.  He had decided to call her Elizabeth.  He wasn't sure why he had chosen the name, but calling her Buffy was too confusing.  "So, you're the guide the Powers That Be sent?  You're the one who's going to find the missing parts."

Elizabeth shook her head at the slightly drunk vampire in front of her.  "I told you.  I AM one of the missing parts.  I'm the part that was lost in limbo.  Spike, you really need to pay attention.  I'll need you to help me explain this to us."

Spike paced around the room, running his hand through his blond hair.  "The Slayer isn't going to like this.  She isn't going to like this at all."    

Elizabeth sighed.  "No, we aren't going to like this.  We aren't going to believe it.  And we probably aren't going to like me either.  That's why I need your help.  We will believe you."

"Would you stop saying that!"  Spike growled at the shocked girl.  "Stop with the 'we'.  You are you, Buffy is Buffy.  You're making this more confusing than it is."  Actually, Spike understood what had happened.  It made sense to him, but then again, he was dead and shared his body with a demon.

"Yes, Buffy is Buffy, but I'm Buffy too.  I'm sorry if I'm making this more difficult, but that's how I think.  We are we.  Parts of the whole."  Elizabeth was just as frustrated as Spike.  "I came to you first because I know you can help make us, ah, her understand what's going on.  And the other part, of course."  Elizabeth shifted uncomfortably in her seat.  "You will help us, won't you?"

Spike knelt down in front of Elizabeth.  She was scared.  And she needed him.  He took both her hands in his own.  "Of course I'll help.  I love her, remember?  All of her.  We'll come up with a way to make her understand.  I promise.  And I'll do whatever it takes to make her whole again."  Even if it kills me again, he added silently.  "But right now, I think we need to get some sleep.  Take the bed down below.  I'll stretch out on the couch up here.  We'll talk some more in the morning."

Elizabeth leaned over, placing a chaste kiss on Spike's lips.  It was the same kiss she had given him after Glory's torture.  "Thank you.  We'll never forget this."  Spike helped Elizabeth to stand.  She reluctantly let go of his hand as she walked to the ladder that led down to the lower portion of the crypt.  She smiled at him once more before beginning her descent. 

Spike's strained voice stopped her.  "Elizabeth, don't tell the Slayer you stayed her tonight.  She'll never believe I didn't try something on you.  We're going to be in enough trouble as it is."  Spike heard the girl giggle as her head disappeared. 

A giggle, he thought, an honest to God Buffy giggle.  He hadn't heard on of those in a long time.  It was innocent and young.  Spike sat down on the couch.  Yes, that was something that was missing from her.  A sense of innocence.  He thought she had lost it when she killed Angelus, but maybe it was just buried deep within her.  Now it was truly lost to her, or had been until Elizabeth showed up.  Spike took another drink, wondering how many more sides of the missing Slayer he would see before this was over. 

---TBC