Disclaimer: The characters of Ranma ½ belong to Rumiko
Takakashi. The characters of Sailor Moon belong to Naoko
Takeuchi. If they belonged to me, I wouldn't be writing this
I'd be swimming in my pool of cash. I wouldn't bother suing
me either. I got nothing you want.

MeSsEd Up!
A Ranma ½ / Sailor Moon Crossover!
By Hawk
C&C welcome, as well as flames at Hawk49er@attbi.com
(Revised Version)

Note: I'm hoping I can really mess this story up. Not in a bad
way mind you, but in a way that makes it way different from
the original. ^_^. You'll understand what I'm talking about
when you read it. This takes place after Ranma's battle with
Saffron. There is some swearing in it, not a lot and it's
somewhat limish. Hope you enjoy! ^_^

Chapter 2 - Training Trip

Oh the joys of training!

Saturday, around 3:35 p.m.

Ranma sighed as he looked around the forest he was
in. "This'll be perfect." The current area he was standing
in had a number of rather large boulders off to the side. The
trees were rather thick and would be able to stand up to a lot
of punishment. As he felt the water of the nearby pond he
noticed it was ice cold, most likely fresh snow melt from the
mountain

Stretching his arms, Ranma walked back to where
he'd left his backpack. Dropping to the ground, he
immediately started to do pushups. By the time he reached
his 15th, he was tired and sweating slightly. Letting himself
fall to the ground, Ranma let out an annoyed breath. *15!
Pathetic! I could do 15 one-handed pushups in 20 seconds
before.* Catching his breath, he started again.

Around 5:00 and 300 excruciating pushups later,
Ranma dropped to the ground completely spent. The muscles
in his arms ached as he painstakingly and literally dragged
himself to his backpack. Pulling a water bottle from it, he
quickly and clumsily downed the ice cold water inside.
Laying down on the ground, Ranma closed his eyes thinking,
*15 minutes then it's back to work.*

15 minutes later he was at it again. Forcing himself to
the limit, Ranma continued his pushups. His arms felt as if
they were burning, weak from the constant use. Taking deep,
ragged breaths, Ranma gritted his teeth as he pushed himself
up once again. God, he felt like his arms were going to burst!
But still be pushed himself harder.

Having used all his strength, Ranma's arms gave way
causing him to fall lamely. Blowing away the dirt near his
mouth, he rolled over and immediately started doing sit-ups.
Well actually he was just trying to plain sit-up. But it sure
looked like he was trying to do sit-up exercises!

*********

In a house known by many as the Tendo home, a
young girl, feared by many, sat with her older sister.

"I'm gonna rip his fucking head off and flush it down
a toilet," Akane growled, hands clenched, eyes narrowed in
anger.

Nabiki sighed, "Sister dear, I sympathize with how
angry you are at Saotome, but constantly listening to you
curse him like that is getting annoying."

"I can't help it! The bastard used my schools' name!
_MY_ schools name! And for a pathetic excuse for a
technique like that too! He is sooo dead!" Akane all but
shouted. She was pissed!

"Just remember to take his lunch money before you
kill him," Nabiki said in a monotone voice.

"Hmph!" Akane stood up, hands clenched at her sides
and left the room. Of course not before growling under her
breath, "I'm gonna rip his fucking head off and flush it down
a toilet."

Nabiki spun around in her chair, rubbed her forehead
and looked at her computer. She smiled when she went over
the weeks final payments. They'd made a 20'000 yen profit
off of peoples lunch money, and 14'000 yen off of
information but they'd made a 35'000 yen profit from
pictures of Ranko alone. If she could get rid of the 'Virtuous
Kendo Men' she estimated the 'Red Hammers' would make
at least double what they'd made.

Nobody knew it, except for Akane, but she was the
actual leader of the 'Red Hammers'. Without her at the helm
the 'Red Hammers' would be nothing. She took care of the
money they made. She took care of the gang members
payments, and she told Akane who to bully and who not too.
Without her, the 'Virtuous Kendo Men' would rule Furinkan.
Now if only she could get rid of them.

Actually . . . she just might have a way to get rid of
them. There always was that Green Dragon fighter . . .

*********

Ranko wiped the thin line of sweat from her forehead.
It wasn't from practicing a kata or from any other strenuous
task, but from the steam coming from the pot below her face.
Dipping a spoon into the pot, she tasted the miso soup she
was cooking.

Ever since Kasumi left the Tendo home to pursue the
work she loved, though she didn't approve of it much, Ranko
had taken over the cooking and most of the household chores.
Her Uncle, Soun, help her with the chores of course, mainly
because he hardly ever had anything to do around the house.
With Kasumi financially supporting the family, Soun had
virtually retired. Ranko didn't approve of what Kasumi
choose as a career, thinking she'd make a much better doctor
or nurse, but if Kasumi liked what she was doing, Ranko
wasn't going to complain.

Besides, like Akane or Nabiki would or could do any
of the things she did around the house. Ranko shuddered at
the thought of Akane cooking the family dinner. The last time
Akane had "cooked" no one wanted to eat it so she'd
threatened Ranko before shoving it down her throat. After
puking it back out, Ranko watched as Akane packed it up and
then force fed all of it to Ranma the next day.

*She probably cooked it just so she could do that.*
Ranko thought a bit angrily. She didn't like how Akane and
Nabiki seemed to focus most of their attention of Ranma, but
mainly she just didn't like what they did.

Tasting the miso soup again, Ranko picked up a
shaker of salt, flipped it over the pot and caught it with her
other hand. Salt fell carefully and cleanly into the soup
causing her to smile. She was getting better at that every day.
Of course, she had to thank the ten-year training trip her
father took her on.

Her father had taken her on a ten-year training trip
when she turned six years old. They had traveled all over
Japan and some areas of China too. Since her father was a
terrible cook, she took over the responsibility so they
wouldn't starve to death. When she turned sixteen they had
gone home, but that was where the accident happened.

Her life hadn't become any easier afterwards. Moving
in with her Uncle and adjusting to Akane and Nabiki's way
of life was hard enough, especially with the two of them
always asking her to join their gang. Then there was Kuno-
sempai and the horde of perverted boys that followed him.
Taking care of the daily chores and the cooking. And then,
last but not least, the Senshi. Being a Devil Hunter, she'd ran
into the Senshi one day while fighting off an attacking
demon. They'd quickly joined forces to beat the demon and
became fast friends afterwards, something Ranko was
happy to have. That and fighting against Queen Beryl's
youma's, including all the other stuff she had to deal with
didn't leave her with much free time. Saturdays and Sundays
were the only days she ever had any.

Checking the teriyaki chicken, shrimp tempura and
miso soup one last time, Ranko turned off the stove and
called everyone to dinner.

*********

7:32
Saturday night
The out skirts of Nerima.
X-files theme: "Do do do do do do, do do do do do do, do-"
Slap Ok, the author will stop now.

"What do you think it is?"

"Don't know, but whatever it is, if it keeps growing,
it's gonna cause the time stream to go crazy."

"But that's good, right? Whatever the hell this thing
is, it'll cause Sailor Pluto a lot of aggravation."

"Yeah. It should."

"You think it's on our side?"

"Not sure. With the amount of chaos it could emit, I
wouldn't be surprised, but we can't be sure."

"Any clue how it got here?"

"Not one."

"At least it's not on the damn Senshi's side."

*********

*Ugh! Five!* Ranma thought tiredly as he finally
finished his fifth pull-up. Of course, relaxing his arms
afterwards wasn't that good of an idea. Ranma became
immediate dead weight on the tree branch he was using,
causing it to snap. He landed on the ground hard then had the
pleasure of having the branch land on his stomach, knocking
the wind out of him.

Pushing the branch off himself, Ranma let his head
touch the ground. He was still exhausted from the many
pushups he'd done earlier, but he wasn't giving in. As long as
he had strength he intended to use it. Catching his breath,
Ranma waited for his arms to cool off when he smelled
something burning. And why was his foot getting really hot
all of the sudden?

Glancing down at his feet, Ranma realized what was
wrong. His right foot had landed in the fire he'd set-up earlier
and was currently catching fire. He must've frowned at it for
five minutes before he realized that his foot was actually on
fire. Removing his foot from the flame, he lay his head back
down and tried to get some rest. As his foot continued to
burn, Ranma shrugged his shoulders. It was good training in
the end.

*********

"Say again?" Gosunkugi asked rubbing his forehead.
He was getting a serious headache. Of course, he always got
headaches when Kuno was involved. *Psychotic moron.
Can't even speak properly, damn barbarian.* he thought
tiredly.

"I questioned thee as to what thee plans to do about
the vile bitch Ten Do Akane," Kuno said again, arms folded
as he looked down at the Gosunkugi who was sitting behind a
large desk.

Rubbing his face with both hands, Gosunkugi replied,
"I've got something planned for her," he said simply before
folding his hands in front of his face.

"What doth thou have planned and why haven't thee
told me of it!?" Kuno growled through clenched teeth,
glaring angrily at the extremely calm figure in front of him.

Peering over his folded hand, Gosunkugi simply
answered, "Because you don't need to know yet. When the
time comes you will be informed." His eyes bore straight into
Kuno, unfazed by the withering glare he was receiving.

Kuno left the room in a hurry. Sometimes he just
couldn't stand Gosunkugi's eyes. He also couldn't
understand how Gosunkugi could stare him in the eye and not
feel the least bit intimidated.

"That man is a moron. Good fighter, but a complete
moron," Gosunkugi mumbled, eyes never leaving the door
Kuno had walked through.

"Yes, he is an idiot, isn't he. The plan is going along
schedule, correct?" a soft voice asked from all the shadows of
the room.

"The plan is exactly on schedule, Ebony Shadow,"
Gosunkugi replied, eyes hardening. "Everything's going
according to plan."

"It better be. Mother would sooo hate to have it not
be. And you know how mother tends to get when she's mad,"
Ebony Shadow said, her voice coming from every shadow.

Gosunkugi nodded his head seriously, eyes having
never left the door, mouth still behind his folded hands.
Classic Gendo Ikari.

*********

Ranma once again relaxed his muscles as he
completed his 20th sit-up. His foot still stung like hell from
the fire, but he ignored it the best he could. After letting his
foot burn for about five minutes, he had literally hopped,
albeit slowly and tiredly, his way over to the pond before
putting the fire out with a content sigh. What happened
afterward Ranma hoped to forget.

He had cupped a large amount of water in his hands
and was about to drink it when the reasonable side of his
brain struck. *What am I doing?* he thought shaking his
head side-to-side.

*Getting something to drink.* his instinctive side
thought before bringing his hands closer to his mouth.

*Wait a minute! I can't drink this!* his reasonable
side suddenly countered.

*But why not? It's just water.*

*Oh yeah! Frogs and fishes always shooting their
sperm around, I'll probably end up drinking a handful of-*

"Ack!" Ranma abruptly threw the pond water into the
air and fell back onto his butt. "So what am I supposed to
drink?" he asked aloud, Splash right before the water
landed on his head. He was about to lick the water off his
lips, but stopped when he heard a frog croak. Looking to the
side, Ranma noticed a small yellow and green frog perched
on a nearby rock. Once again he was about to lick his lips,
but stopped when he saw the frog wink at him in what looked
like a suggestive way. Ranma looked out at the pond,
blinked, then at the frog before blinking again. Then he
looked at the pond and blinked once more.

*Ok . . . _that_ was just plain messed up.* he thought
before wiping the water from his face.

"So what am I gonna drink?" he asked again.

*Got it!*

Ranma sighed tiredly as he finished his 26th sit-up
then swallow what little spit he had in his dehydrated mouth.

*That's the last time I listen to you brain.* he thought
angrily.

*Oh, when have you ever?* his brain shot back.

". . .shut up," Ranma muttered after a moment of not
trying to think of what to say.

*********

In a home owned by the Tsukino's, a girl who wore
odango's in her hair by day and fought the Negaverse by
night . . . and day too I guess, dreamt of dancing ice cream
cones and her beloved Tuxedo Mask.

*********

In the Hino home, one Rei Hino dreamt of forcing one
Usagi Tsukino to eat meatballs the size of the odango's in her
hair.

*********

In Kino's apartment, Makoto dreamt of her old
sempai's face, whatever the hell it looked like.

*********

In the Mizuno home, Ami dreamt of solving
unsolvable math equations (Is that possible?).

*********

In the Tendo home, Akane dreamed about ripping off
Ranma's head and flushing it down a toilet.

Also in the Tendo home, Ranko went to sleep trying
not to dream about Ranma eyes.

*********

As he slept, Ranma dreamed about the first time he
kicked Kuno's ass. It was a very good dream. Well it was
until Kuno's head turned into that of a frogs and started
winking at him.

Sometime during the night, ever so slightly, Ranma's
muscles grew larger on their own. Of course he didn't know
that.

*********

In the Kuno mansion, Tatewaki dreamt of his beloved
Ranko being in his loving embrace.

*********

Ranko shuddered in her sleep.

*********

Sunday:

"Wow! I feel great!" Ranma exclaimed stretching his
arms. He'd woken up and didn't feel any soreness in his
body. He wasn't sure why, but hey! Who's he to look a gift
horse in the eye? Seeing as he hardly ever got any that is.

Smirking happily, Ranma ran straight at a nearby tree,
jumped up placing both his feet on the trunk and attempted to
back flip off of it. The key word here is 'attempted'. After
lifting his face off of the ground, Ranma turned to the tree
and glared angrily. "You and the wall. You and the wall," he
said simply.

*********

Setsuna Meiou, a.k.a. Sailor Pluto, a.k.a. The
Guardian of the Time Gate, a.k.a. Dr. Meiou, a.k.a. The
Emotionless Wonder, a.k.a. The oldest Senshi, a.k.a. The
wisest Senshi, a.k.a. The green haired Senshi, a.k.a. The
calmest Senshi, a.k.a. The red-eyed Senshi, a.k.a. If you think
I'm making a joke then you're wrong because sooner or later
I'm gonna use these, a.k.a. I can't help it if I think she's gotta
a lot of A.K.A.'s awoke with a start. Something wasn't right.
She wasn't sure what it was, but it was emitting a small
amount of chaos. And growing larger every second.

Whatever is was, it could seriously mess up the time
stream if it continued to grow and that was something she
didn't need. So far Sailor Venus, Sailor Uranus, Sailor
Neptune, and Sailor Saturn hadn't been found and they still
had the Negaverse to deal with. She really didn't need more
problems, and there was no telling what this _thing_ would
do to the time stream.

"Looks like I'm going to have to call another
meeting."

*********

For the fifth time that day, Ranma shoved his foot
into the rocky cliff. Taking a deep breath, he reached up for a
higher rock before grabbing and pulling himself up. Freeing
his foot, he continued to climb up the steep 16 foot tall cliff.
Reaching the top once again, Ranma did what most other
people would call crazy.

Letting go of the cliffs ledge, he aimed for the most
jagged parts of the cliff wall he could see on the way down.
Bouncing of the wall three times after letting go, Ranma hit
the ground Thump rather loudly and painfully. Groaning
loudly, Ranma rolled over onto his back and felt his crotch
area. Still in one piece.

"This just keeps getting better and better," he moaned
pitifully. Spreading his arms and legs, Ranma relaxed his
body and lay where he landed for 15 minutes. Then he was
climbing again.

*********

"We're all here. Whatdaya want?" Ranko asked as all
the found Senshi sat around a table in Dr. Meiou's clinic.

"I've got some bad news," the oldest Senshi said
calmly. See I've used one already.

"Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Why is it that every time
you call us over it's to tell us bad news? Do you never have
good news, or do you just like being the bearer of bad news?"
Rei complained looking at Setsuna narrow eyed.

"I take it your fire readings didn't warn you of this?"
Setsuna asked completely ignoring the look Rei was giving
her. Lesson 35 in Setsuna's 'Turn the conversation against
someone else' training. 'Ask about Rei's fire readings'.

"Um . . . actually . . . I haven't done a fire reading for
awhile now," Rei responded hesitantly.

Setsuna resisted the urge to smile and instead gave
Rei what she considered an upset look. Of course, to the
others it looked like she was just plain looking at Rei.
"Something, I'm not sure what, appeared over night. It's
emitting chaos and every second it's getting larger." Then her
face did something.

"Oh shit! We're screwed!" Ranko exclaimed, wide
eyed.

Usagi broke into a cold sweat, but asked as calmly as
she could, "It couldn't be that bad, could it?" Really, it
couldn't be _that_ bad.

"ARE YOU DENSE MEATBALL HEAD!? SHE'S
FROWNING FOR CHRIST SAKE!" Rei screamed into
Usagi's face while pointing at Setsuna's frown.

"You're right! We're doomed!" Usagi wailed before
Wah bursting into tears. "But I'm to young to die! I
haven't even found out who Tuxedo Mask is yet!"

Luna sweat dropped from where she stood on the
table.

"Now, now. I'm sure that we're not doomed.
Whatever it is, I'm sure we can handle it," Makoto said trying
to calm Usagi down though on the inside she was just as
freaked. *Oh God we're screw! And I never had a chance to
reconcile with . . . um . . . my old sempai! Damn, I wish I
could remember his name!*

"Have you gone nuts!? Setsuna's frowning! This is
the Emotionless Wonder here! When has she ever frowned
before!?" Rei shouted incredulously into Makoto face.

"Ok. Ok. Maybe we are screwed, but I asked for the
news not the weather," Makoto replied while wiping the
spit off her face.

Rei gave Makoto a 'you're an idiot' look.

*I wonder if they'll do this every time I frown.*
Setsuna thought before frowning even deeper.

Luna fell off the table and did not land on her feet.

Usagi stopped ranting immediately and fainted,
falling on top of Luna.

"Get . . . her . . . off!" Luna croaked.

"We're screwed. We're screwed. We're screwed.
We're screwed," Ranko kept muttering rocking back and
forth in her seat.

*I think I'll start frowning more often.*

*********

Taking a deep, ragged breath, Ranma grasped the
ledge of the cliff with both hands for the 16th time that day.
Pushing himself up, he pushed off, once again tumbling
down the cliffs side.

Crack " . . . Owie."

*********

"So you're saying that not only do we have to deal
with the Negaverse and find Sailor Venus, but we also have
ta deal with some chaos creator," Ranko summed up after
everyone had regained their senses.

"Yes."

"Well that's putting it lightly," Makoto said annoyed
by Setsuna's bluntness. She really didn't like it when Setsuna
was blunt.

"Are you saying I'm fat?!" Usagi shouted into Luna's
face, holding her in the air by her sides.

"Yes. You really shouldn't eat so much," Luna replied
in that British nanny accent of hers.

"What about Ranko! She eats more than I do! Do you
think she's fat!?" Usagi asked glaring straight into Luna's
eyes.

"I don't know! She's never _sat_ on me before!"
Luna replied glaring back just as much.

"Fine, lets find out," Usagi said before turning to
Ranko and shoving Luna into her face. "Here Ranko. Sit on
Luna."

"Don't you dare sit on me," Luna growled.

"Oh no! Don't go including me in your argument!"
Ranko shouted pushing Luna out of her face before cupping
her breasts and adding, "Besides, I think these would add a
lot a of weight you don't have."

"Are you saying I have no breasts?!" Usagi shouted
suddenly in Ranko's face.

"No," Ranko replied causing Usagi to relax and back
off. Of course, this is Ranko and she's so much like Ranma
that, "I was just saying that you have small breasts and that
mine are way bigger."

*This is going to be a long meeting.* Setsuna thought
as she watched Usagi try to strangle Ranko.

*********

"You know what? After a while this doesn't feel too
bad. Pop . . . Itamu!"

*********

"Wait. It stopped," Setsuna said causing Ranko to
stop the noogie she was giving Usagi and Makoto to stop
glaring at Rei.

"What stopped?" Makoto asked perplexed.

"Did you forget already? The thing that's creating the
chaos. Its stopped," Setsuna replied. Sometimes she
wondered.

"Hey! That's great!" Usagi responded from within
Ranko's headlock.

"That doesn't mean it's gone." *I closed my clinic for
this?*

*********

Ranma had fallen. Of course, that's because he
wanted to, but the way he landed . . . it just wasn't right. For
the first time in the last 16 falls he hit a rock. A rather large
one. He had landed on his back forcing his body to bend into
an upside down V position. Head and feet touching the
ground on both sides. All in all, it wasn't very comfortable.
Especially when you get stuck like that for seven minutes.

"My God this is painful. Good training, but painful,"
Ranma groaned. "Question is . . . how am I going to get off?"

And as by magic, or fate it started raining. Not drizzle
or a light rain, but pouring, mass amounts in seconds,
drenching Ranma and the rock completely.

"Hahahaha! It figures . . . hahahaha . . . something
like this . . . hahahaha . . . would happen!" Ranma laughed
insanely, his face dripping water and his open mouth
collecting it.

And then he slipped off. Pop and his back
straightened

"Chikuso!"

*********

"I'm going to take this rain as a bad sign," Rei said as
she listened to the rain pound against the roof.

"Its started again." Three guesses who that was.

The other Senshi's exchanged annoyed looks.

*********

"Somebody turn off the water! Cough I'm gonna
drown! Gargle." Laying on your back with tons and tons of
water pouring into your mouth is not a pleasant experience.
"For the love of God! Someone Spit turn off the water!"

And as if by God it stopped.

"Spit . . . Kaiki kuso," Ranma muttered before
breaking into a coughing fit. Using what little strength he had
left, he rolled onto his stomach before puking the last of his
resolve.

*********

"Hey, it stopped," Makoto pointed out the obvious.

"Weird shit," Ranko said looking out one of the
clinics' windows.

Everyone looked at her curiously.

"I've never heard you say that before," Makoto said
looking at Ranko with an eyebrow raised.

Ranko blinked. Why'd she say that? Where'd she hear
that? Someone had said that to her earlier. But who? *Oh
yeah! Ranma said that!* Subconsciously she started blushing.
She'd had a very strange dream about him beating up Kuno
and Akane. Quite easily too.

"Look, not that this hasn't been fun, but I got chores
and other stuff to do," Ranko said before dashing out of the
room trying to hide her cherry red face.

Usagi stood up to go too. "I'm heading over to the ice
cream shop down the street. I'm starved ," she said as headed
for the exit of the room.

Luna sweat dropped. Had she forgotten their whole
fat fight?

"Hey wait up, I'll go with you," Makoto said standing
up and following Usagi out of the room.

Setsuna looked at Rei with her . . . well you know, her
look.

Rei shivered slightly before standing and sighing in
defeat. "Fine! I'll go do a fire reading if it'll make you
happy!" she cried exasperated before storming out of the
room.

Setsuna sighed before looking at Luna and asking,
"Are you sure they're the ones?"

Crash "Wah!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sorry!!"

"MEATBALL HEAD!!!!!"

"Yes, I'm sure," Luna answered tiredly before
hopping off the table and leaving the room.

"Sometimes I think spending time guarding the Time
Gate is better than trying to talk to those girls," Setsuna said
to herself before leaving the room to see what Usagi had
broken.

*********

That night Ranma dreamt of his first real fight with
Ryouga. It was going fine dream until Ryouga started melting
into a giant pile of brownish goo and leapt onto him.

Once again while Ranma slept, his muscles grew
slightly bigger.

*********

Rei gazed at the fire passively. What she had seen
didn't look good.

*********

Monday:

Ranma awoke with a start. What the hell was he
sleeping in? It sure as hell wasn't rain. To thick to be rain.
Then he remembered the last thing he did the other day.

"Oh nasty!" Ranma shouted springing backwards and
away from his barf/pillow. *Well now I know what Ryouga
melted into.* he thought wiping his puke off his face
hurriedly. Then he realized something. "Wow! My back feels
great! I coulda sworn my spine was broken," he said happily
stretching his back. Then he stretched a little more. "Cool, I
can bend back even further then I could in my old body!" he
added as he bent really far backwards.

Standing up straight again, Ranma took a look at his
gi. It was completely ruined, tore in hundreds of places and
still wet from the other night. The gi top was ripped badly,
basically falling apart on his shoulders making it quite easy to
see his chest. The pants were torn so that it looked like he
was wearing shorts along with many little tears.

He glanced at the forest then down at his clothes.
"Hm . . . ?" He looked at the forest then at his clothes again.
Then he smiled.

*********

"Where the hell is he?" Akane asked angrily, her face
contorted in anger, the rest of the 'Red Hammers' backing
her up.

"I don't know. He just didn't show up. He probably
stayed home today," Nabiki answered plainly from where she
sat in the lunch room.

"Then we'll just bring him here," Akane growled
before turning to go.

"Don't waste your time. He'll show up sooner or later.
He's got his nerd reputation to keep up after all," Nabiki said
looking over the list of people who had yet to be bullied that
day.

*When he shows up . . . he is dead!* Akane thought,
virtually shaking rage.

*********

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Crash Thump Ohhhh . . ."

*********

"Saembou!" Umetsu-sensei called.

"Here!" came the response.

"Saotome! . . . Saotome?" Umetsu-sensei glanced
around the classroom until he came to Ranma's empty seat.
"Where's Saotome?" he asked no one in particular.

"Um . . . I don't think he's here today sensei," one of
the students answered.

"Oh . . . My . . . God! What do you mean Saotome
isn't here!?" Umetsu-sensei asked frantically, a wild look on
his face. He looked ready to burst.

"Well . . . he's just not here," another student
answered nervously.

"Yeah! I think he cut!" one of the male students
shouted.

And then he did. "It's the end of the world!" Umetsu-
sensei screamed clutching the sides of his head before
running and jumping out the window.

Running to the windows, every student watched as
Umetsu-sensei straight for the school flagpole, grabbed onto
it and climbed all the way to the top where he latched onto
the top looking around like a wild animal. "It's the end of the
world!" he shouted over and over, swinging back and forth
and laughing insanely.

*********

*Ok, so maybe running through the forest naked
wasn't such a good idea.*

He now had a collection of cuts and scratches as well
as a bloody lip and nose. He'd been running through the
forest, naked of course, minding his own business when a
large branch came out of no where. Smacking his face,
clothes lining him in the process, Ranma landed hard on his
back.

So here he was, back at his campsite, cut, naked, dirty
and tired. What do you think he did?

"Cold! Cold! Cold! Cold! Cold! Cold!" Ranma cried
out repeatedly as he swam around, still naked, in the ice cold
pond.

*********

"I heard he snapped and was put in a mental
institute," Makoto commented as she and her friends ate their
lunches.

"You think? I mean, he was acting weird at the mall
on Saturday," Usagi added, taking a small break from her
eating race with Ranko.

"Wouldn't surprise me. After that joke he played on
us. I hope he was put in a mental hospital." Gee, I wonder.

Ranko continued to eat, not bothering to join in.

"So what do you think happened to your boyfriend,
Ranko?" Makoto teased, smiling slyly.

"He is not my boyfriend and nothing happened to
him," Ranko answered tiredly and plainly looking up from
her meal. She really wasn't up for talking. She had stayed up
past three in the morning finishing her chores only to wake
up at six to practice her martial arts. Sometimes Ranko
wished she had someone she could spar against. Sure there
was Akane, but she didn't want to or was to lazy to wake up
at six to practice. Also, Akane wasn't exactly very close skill
wise compared to her. There was also Makoto, but she didn't
exactly live nearby and wasn't willing to wake up at 5:30
every morning.

"Jeez, you don't have to be such a grouch," Usagi said
as she eyed the rest of Rei's lunch.

"What do you mean nothing happened to him?" Rei
asked not noticing Usagi's hungry gaze.

"He told me that he was going on a camping trip and
wouldn't be back till Wednesday," Ranko answered flatly.

"Ohhhh! A secret rendevous," Makoto said eyeing
Ranko eagerly.

Ranko blinked. Had they forgotten everything that
had happened on Saturday?

"You didn't seriously have a secret rendevous with
Ranma, did you?" Rei asked incredulously though on the
inside she was worried. What she had seen the other night
had freaked her out and she had had a hard time sleeping
fearing she might see what she saw in her dreams.

"Befails! Give bus befails!" Usagi said causing
Ranko, Makoto and Rei to look at her.

Looking down in front of her, Rei asked slowly,
"Meatball head?"

"Bes?"

"What are you eating?"

Gulp "Heh! Nothing. See?" Usagi said opening her
mouth wide.

Rei lunged.

*********

"Wednesday, huh? Where'd you hear this?" Nabiki
asked one of her many lackeys.

"You're cousin Ranko, sempai," the lackey
responded.

"You heard this from Ranko?" Nabiki blinked
curiously. Why would Ranko know something like this?

"Hai."

"Did you find out how Ranko learned this?" Nabiki
asked rubbing her face.

"Something about a secret rendevous, ma'am."

"Ok, get that fucking moron Kuno in here," Nabiki
ordered, arms crossed.

"Yes, ma'am," the lackey said before scurrying away.

*Secret rendevous? Ranma and Ranko? Something's
not right.*

*********

Ranma was spinning around in circles, head looking
over his shoulder. It wasn't training. He was just trying to see
something.

After swimming in the pond for an hour, he had ran
through the forest naked again. Of course, after that he
jumped into the pond, still naked, and swam around for
another hour.

On stepping out of the water, he'd turned his head to
look back, and noticed something large and black resting on
the small of his back.

Sighing in defeat, Ranma walked over to his backpack
and pulled out a new set of clothes, changed then glared
meaningfully at a nearby tree. I think you know which one
I'm talking about.

*********

"Hello Kuno," Nabiki said plainly as Kuno walked up
to her.

"What do you want with the great Tatewaki Kuno,
vile bitch, Ten Do Nabiki?" Kuno asked glaring angrily.

"I've got some information on Ranma. You want it?"
Nabiki replied eyebrow raised.

"Tell me," Kuno growled threateningly.

Nabiki held out her hand, smirking cruelly. She loved
this part.

*********

His fist were bloody and stung like hell, but he didn't
care. That's what he wanted. Ranma was punching and
punching and punching then he was giving it some good
kicks as well. More and more of the trees bark was falling off
with every punch and with every punch his fists got bloodier.

Taking a step back and stopping his administrations,
Ranma looked at his knuckles. They were soaked with blood
and wherever there was no blood, you could see the ripped
skin or a bruise. Curling his hands back into fists and wincing
more in anticipation that pain, Ranma lashed out at the tree
once more.

*********

"Mr. Umetsu! Don't worry! We will get you down!"
one of the many firemen called using a loud speaker.

"Heh! You don't get it do you? He didn't show up!
_He_ didn't show up! Heh! We're doomed! Hahaha!
Doomed I tell you!" Umetsu shouted crazily from his
position on the flag pole.

"I'm telling you there was no secret rendevous!"
Ranko shouted exasperated as she and her friends walked
away from Furinkan.

"Wednesday. Wednesday. I'll kill him on
Wednesday," Akane growled as she stalked off toward her
house.

"Wednesday the vile cur So Do Me will pay." If you
don't know, I'm not telling you.

"Please calm down Mr. Umetsu! You'll be just fine!"
the fireman with the loud speaker called.

"Hahahahahahah!"

*********

"Stupid . . . huff . . . tree . . . puff," Ranma breathed
tiredly as he threw another punch at the blood stained tree.
His hands were caked with blood, knuckles scraped and
bruised very close to the bone, his nose and lip still bleeding
slightly themselves.

The tree had seen better days. Much better days. Most
of its bark had been punched off leaving the tree bare. With
every punch, more of his blood coaxed it leaving a very
visible stain. If you looked closely, you could small indents
behind blood where his fists had hit the most.

Stepping back from the tree, Ranma stretched his
fingers, cracking them in the process. Gritting his teeth, he
slowly curled his fingers into fists again. Except this time he
didn't lash out at the tree.

Gathering as much confidence as he could, Ranma
gritted his teeth even hard in appreciation of the challenge
presented before him. After about four minutes of trying, he
felt a warming sensation slowly cover his body causing him
to grin cruelly. He stepped back five more time before getting
into a ready stance, breathing deeply and calmly.

Abruptly he broke into a run, stopped immediately
right in front of the tree, jumped up, stuck out his right leg
forcing as much ki as he could into it, and shouted, "Baisuu
Supin Handou!" before his body blurred in a circular figure.
Landing wobbly from the spinning kicks, Ranma fell
backwards onto his back before looking up at his handy or
should I say footy work. (Did I really just write that . . .)

It looked like someone had put a chainsaw to it,
cutting about 1/4 through. *Looks like I gotta new move.*
Ranma thought before slumping to ground, asleep from
exhaustion.

*********

"Does this do anything to the plans?"

"That Saotome isn't here? Phef! That nerd means
nothing. The thing he does best is get beat up."

"Good."

*********

"Ah! Rei-chan, what can I do for you?" Setsuna asked
pleasantly, smiling broadly.

Rei hated it when Setsuna acted normal. It just wasn't
her, but she had to do it for her customers. "Hello Dr. Meiou.
May I speak with you in private, please?" Rei responded
emphasizing the 'please' and smiling back just as much.

"Of course! Could you wait just a moment Mr.
Takou?" Setsuna asked an elderly man nicely.

"Of course, of course. Anything for you Dr. Meiou,"
Mr. Takou replied, his small, wrinkly face donning a smile.

Rei rolled her eyes. If only he knew.

Leaving the waiting room and entering Setsuna's
office, Rei and Setsuna took seats opposite of each other.

"What is it?" Setsuna asked, her facial expression
calm as ice.

"I did a fire reading last night like you wanted and
saw some pretty weird things. I saw four people standing in a
street, I couldn't see their faces though. One of them was a
man with short blond hair, and another was a woman with
wavy looking light green hair. The other two were younger
looking, one with long blond hair and the other with short
dark blackish, purplish hair and both were girls. That make
any sense to you?" Rei explained seriously.

"No. It doesn't," Setsuna lied then asked, "What else
can you tell me?"

"Well the man and the woman were standing together.
The blonde was standing by herself, looking happy while the
last girl was sitting on the ground curled in a ball crying," Rei
said slowly so Setsuna would catch it all.

Setsuna nodded and asked, "Was there anything
else?"

"Yeah. Another guy appeared walking the street. I
couldn't see his face, but he had black hair and a pigtail, like
Ranko's. This is where things got weird and started turning
bad."

"What happened?"

"Everywhere he walked exploded. The buildings next
to him crumbled and the land behind fell away into nothing.
Then me and the others appeared in front of him, a really big
mob of people with bats and other weapons next to us and
you next to the man and woman," Rei said then took a deep
breath and looked at Setsuna.

"Go on."

"Ok. The dark-haired girl stopped crying when she
saw him, and the blonde became confused. She looked like
she wasn't sure if she should run or stay. You, the man and
the woman joined us, then Tuxedo Mask showed up and attack
the pigtailed boy followed by everyone else except the girl
who had been crying. She look more afraid than anything
else. Then . . . " Rei stopped, suddenly staring off into space.

Setsuna raised an eyebrow. "Rei?"

"Huh!? Oh yeah. Sorry. Then . . . everything
crumbled to dust except for the boy and the dark-haired girl,"
Rei finished quietly. She could still remember the agonizing
looks on her friends faces as they crumbled away into
nothing. She could still remember the look on her face.
"What do think that means?"

"I'm not quite sure yet, but I think the pigtailed boy
you saw might be the thing that's emitting chaos," Setsuna
said standing up and heading toward the door. "Go home and
try not to worry about it. Ok?"

"Ok," Rei responded looking at Setsuna curiously
before leaving the room.

"I'll do all the worrying," Setsuna said before leaving
the room and cheerfully calling, "Mr. Takou. I'll see you
now!"

*********

That night Ranma dreamt of his fight with the Golden
Pair and how he was thrown into the skating rink wall. About
half way through the dream, Azusa and Mikado turned into
trees and started trying to close line him before the ice melted
and he ended up swimming in freezing cold water.

While he slept, his muscle once again grew slightly
bigger and his abs became a little more defined.

*********

Tuesday:

Ranma scratched the back of his head with one arm
while stretching the other and yawning at the same time.
*Hm . . . my hair's getting longer. Hopefully I'll be able to
get it into a pigtail soon.* Ranma thought tugging on the hair
above his neck.

His hands were still slightly bruised from the other day
and were covered with dry blood. All the cuts and scrapes
he'd received the on Monday were closed and healed. His
nose had stopped bleeding as well as his lip, but he had a
small bruise on his nose from where he'd branch hit the
hardest.

After washing the blood off his hands in the pond,
Ranma walked back to his backpack and pullout the bag of coal
he'd taken from Genma barbeque and poured the coal around
the ground over a patch of dried leaves he'd placed earlier.
Surrounding the coal with a bunch of rocks, Ranma then
threw some rock onto the coal making a walkway across.
Throwing a lot of brush and other plants onto the coal,
Ranma walked over to his backpack and retrieved the box of
matches he'd taken. Lighting the match, Ranma tossed it onto
a group of dried leaves.

After waiting ten minutes, Ranma took off his shoes
and stepped onto the coal.

*********

"Mr. Umetsu! Please release the pole!" an obviously
tired fireman called.

"No! I'm not even supposed to be up here, but the
Author needed me for a short transaction scene! Besides,
why would I wanna get down. I think I can see my house
from up here!" Umetsu cried.

"Author? Transaction scene? Do any of you guys
know what's he talking about?" the chief asked a few of his
men.

"I have no clue what the nut case is saying," answered
one of his men, the rest nodding in agreement.

*********

After an hour of walking around on the coal then
another hour of hand standing across it, Ranma had put out
the coal with multiple trips to the pond. His face was slightly
singed from when he had accidently tripped and fallen onto
the coal. His butt was slightly burned also, but I think you can
guess how that happened.

Now he was sitting in front of a fire, cross legged,
watching as the chestnuts slowly burned. Ranma felt like he
was having a staring contest with the offending chestnuts,
sitting quietly, watching and waiting.

Suddenly he lashed out, grabbing all the chestnuts as
fast as he could. Dropping the chestnuts, Ranma began
waving his hands around while blowing on them at the same
time. "Ite!" he cursed through gritted teeth.

*********

"You're shitting me, right?"

"Nope. Supposedly she and Ranma had a secret
rendevous sometime over the weekend," Nabiki replied.

"You don't think she and him are . . . you know?"
Akane asked suspiciously.

"I haven't asked her about it yet, but trust me,
I will."

"She and Ranma better not! Ranko deserves _way_
better than Ranma!" Akane growled.

"And what if they are?" Nabiki asked plainly.

"Then I'll just show Ranko what Ranma's bad points
are," Akane replied cracking her knuckles.

*********

Eleven hours later he had it down, grabbing the
chestnuts with practiced ease. His hands felt like shit, but that
would make the next training he had planned even better.
After soaking his sore hands in the pond till they'd numbed,
Ranma walked back and faced the tree he'd been beating.
Grinning like a feline, though he'd never admit it, Ranma
charged the tree, jumped up, placed both his feet on it's
trunk, and back flipped off it, this time landing on his feet.

Ranma breathed deeply, smiling while he did so and
stretching his arms above his head. God it felt good to be
strong. Flipping backwards three times away from the tree,
still smiling, then turned to face the blood stained tree once
more.

Grinding his feet into the ground to steady himself,
Ranma immediately found himself drawing up his
confidence. His fists clenched and teeth gritted, Ranma
wasn't too surprised when he felt a warmness spread over his
body so quickly. It still wasn't as large as the one he used to
have, but it was bigger than before.

Cupping his hands at his side, Ranma began forcing
as much ki as he could into them. A minute later a ball, about
the size of a softball, of blue ki appeared in his hands. Pulling
his hands more behind himself, Ranma suddenly grabbed
onto another emotion. Sweating like crazy, he watched
as the ball of ki grew twice it's size before shouting, "Mouko
Takabisha!" and launching the blue and gold ball of ki at the
tree, and throwing him off his feet.

*********

Setsuna's eyes snapped open. "What the hell was
that?" she said aloud.

"What did you say, Dr. Meiou?" her patient asked.

"Huh? Oh, nothing," Setsuna said before going back
to work as quickly as possible. She had to find out if
whatever she felt did to the time stream.

*********

The tree exploded. The part where Ranma had been
punching shattered, sending wood chips flying everywhere.
The force of the blast knocked him off his feet and onto his
still slightly sore butt. Covering his face from the falling
wood with his hand, Ranma looked at his work.

There was a gaping hole where the ball had hit, smoke
drifting from it's edges. The hole went all the way through
the tree, and the tree behind it was lightly charred. "All the
way through and hit the one behind," Ranma said, then
added, "Never using that emotion again. Too dangerous."
Then he was unconscious.

********

The time stream was a mess. She couldn't get a clear
picture of the future and that upset her. Every second the
picture changed because every second the chaos around the
mystery pigtailed boy grew. Setsuna wouldn't be able to get a
clear picture until the chaos stopped growing, but she had no
clue when that would happen. Her future self hadn't shown
up since the person emitting chaos arrived either. And that
upset her even more.

*********

Wednesday:

Putting on his Mao Zedong clothes, the green Chinese
military clothes, Ranma packed his backpack up and stood up
slowly from his kneeling position. He turned his head calmly,
looking up at the sky and studying it peacefully before
quickly setting off for Nerima. Furinkan High to be precise.

*********

"Wow! I wonder what going on," Usagi said as she,
Ranko, Makoto and Rei entered through the gates of Furikan.

"Well, there's Ranko's fan club, but there's Akane's
gang too. You think they're gonna fight?" Makoto asked as
she looked at the two gangs. It was well known that whenever
the two gangs were close, some kind of brawl was bound to
happen.

"Probably," Rei answered in a tired voice, then added,
"Don't know why all these people are out here though." The
gangs fought with each other almost everyday and most
students just ignored them, but today it looked like the whole
school was out and waiting.

"Hey, what going on?" Ranko asked a nearby girl.

"Didn't you hear? Ranma's supposedly coming back
today and everyone wants to see what's going to happen," the
girl answered.

"How'd they find out about Ranma coming back
today?" Ranko asked no one in particular.

The others answered for her. "Nabiki." And so, like
ever other student, they stopped and waited.

After waiting about five or six minutes, someone
dressed in green walked through Furinkan Highs gates
whistling.

*********

Ranma casually strolled through the gates of Furinkan
High, hands in his pockets, whistling an amabile tune.
Glancing around he blinked in surprise. It looked like the
whole school was there, staring at him. Shrugging his
shoulders, Ranma dropped his backpack on the ground and
took off his cap before continuing on.

Walking to the middle of the court yard, he stopped
anxiously.

"What's everyone standin' around for?" he asked
aloud looking around the crowd.

"So the cur So Do Me does showo his horrididid . . .
face!" Kuno stated drawing his bokken.

"Saotome!" Ranma grumbled.

"I hope you enjoyed those days off, Saotome,
because the days to come are gonna be much worse," Akane
growled, popping her knuckles.

"Actually I didn't. I was in a lot of pain for most of
the trip," Ranma replied smiling happily.

"Well it doesn't matter! You're a dead man,
Saotome!" Akane shouted angrily before she and everyone
else in her gang got into fierce, yet sloppy fighting stances.

"So you wanna fight me, huh?" Ranma said smiling
before stretching his arms behind him and letting his coat
slide off revealing the black sleeveless shirt underneath
which showed of his much more muscular arms and chest.

The crowed gasped and stared in shock. *What the
hell!?* were most of the thought while others were thinking,
*Wow! He's a hunk!*

Dropping into a low combat stance, Ranma slipped
his foot underneath his fallen coat before smiling arrogantly
and asking, "So? Who gets to go first?"

Someone charged.

Next Time: The New Ranma
The long await Akane and Kuno get their asses kicked fight
and more ridicule. Not to mention the trouble he ends up with
afterward.

Authors Note: BWHAHAHAHAAHAHAH! I finished! I
thought this was going to be a short chapter for christ sake.
It's now 32 pages, the same as chapter 1. This one might not
be as good as Chapter 1 but I wrote all Sunday and most of
Monday just to finish this damn chapter. I'd like to thank all
the people who wrote me encouraging me to keep it up.
Thanks! ^_^ I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you have any
questions or comments email me at Hawk49er@attbi.com
and I will get back to you as soon as I can. You can find this
story at Tannim's http://tannim.anifics.com/index.html
Japanese words:
Itamu = Ouch
Chikuso = A stronger form of shit.
Baisuu Supin Handou = Multiple Spin Kick

http://www.geocities.com/furikuri83/index.html