Okay fourth Part one more left after this as much as you can enjoy! I don't
own any of the characters J.K Rowling does I wish I did then Sirius
wouldn't be dead!
Let me lay down in your arms
I've been getting down
Tired of all the running around
Bout all the questions and standing in line
But like my friends say
You have got to do it anyway
Just gets harder when you ask why
I know they're watching me, they always watch me now. They're frightened I'll do something stupid, they always have been. For the past week I've been at the order, today we said goodbye to Sirius, and don't they understand I don't want to be watched? I want to be left alone, just for a little while, just for a rest. I'm so tired. I'm so tired of being the hero, of saving them. I'm only a child yet they look to me to lead them, I am their hope, but my hope lies dead somewhere my only connection the memories which are simply films about ghosts, I need hope too, I need hope to live, but I'm so tired.
I'm tired from all the weight
I'm tired of being strong,
So won't you come and stay?
Let me lay down in your arms
I feel someone behind me, I don't know who it is, it's not Dumbledore he's left, Remus he's alone not here though, this is my space, my solitude. I want to be alone but I'm scared of being alone too, I'll always be alone, if this sorry messed proved anything it proved that. I will never keep love, I will only loose it. I feel someone sit beside me; I don't look maybe if I ignore them they'll go away. Time passes and whoever it is, is still there, I look sideways my head resting on my knees, it's Hermione. 'Hey' she says quietly. I'm silent, I look at my best friend and I have a longing to crawl into her arms and feel safe, feel loved, it's strange I can be weak with Hermione, with Ron I never can, but this time I won't be weak again. To let her care, let's her risk her life, lets her die. I remain silent.
Talking to myself,
Some people don't know how to slow down.
I've got a troubled, troubled mind,
And you've got a heart,
A heart so kind.
'How are you?' Such a simple question but the answer, the answer what will that be? Will it be honest; will it be a lie? Maybe a mixture of both. If I lie she'll accept it, she won't believe me, but she'll accept it. If I tell her the truth, she'll comfort me. 'I miss him.' I hear myself say. That's the truth, the basic truth.
'I know' she replies 'I miss him too.' She looks at me she doesn't break eye contact. I feel myself lean towards her. She smiles at me, I feel myself smiling back. She puts her arm around me and I rest my head on her shoulder. 'Your not alone, Harry.'
Don't worry bout what you have,
Cause if you need something
You can just lend it off me
You don't have to promise more than you want to
His head is resting gently on my shoulder. Another year has gone by, this year I was more frightened than any other, this year I thought he would finally be broken, broken beyond repair. He didn't reply to any of my letters apart from once, the letter just before he arrived. I sensed a change in my best friend then, he had been put back together, not by me, not by Ron, I don't know whom by, but he was unbroken once again.
He reaches for my hand and he grasps it tightly I feel his shuddering breath he's crying again, crying like he did after the Triwizard tournament, but this time the loss had been so much closer to his own heart, this time he has lost his father again. 'Sshhh' I soothe. Ron had wanted me to leave him alone, to give him more space. But I told Ron he's had enough space, I want to be there for him again, I want to let him now he's not alone, he's understood and that I'm here for him.
I remember hearing him yell when he thought I was dead, I know he thought I was dead, Neville told me. He thought he had lost me, but he hadn't he just lost something as precious if not more so. He nearly lost himself. When I thought he had died last year I could of died myself, he's my best friend, and my brother. I love him. I love Ron and I love the boy who is crying now. I miss Sirius too, I miss his laughter, his jokes, and I miss his youth. He seemed too young to die; I can't believe he's still gone, every time there is a small laugh I expect to see him to be the cause of it, funny how sounds fit people. There's not much laughter now only silence, suffocating silence, fear and grief. Yet there is something else there too. For me there is, there's hope, Harry is my hope.
The crying has stopped now. I pull him close to me in a hug and whisper 'He loved you so much.'
'I'm tired Hermione, so tired' I pull back and see the truth in his words he is an old man in the eyes that meet mine. I know Harry is in there somewhere and when the time comes Harry will find the courage he needs, he is not breakable, this I know.
'Then lean on us' Harry looks at me 'I meant what I said Harry your not alone'
'Why are you so eager to die?' He looks at me saddened I look straight back at him.
'I don't want to die Harry, but some things are worth dying for' he looked at me then swallowing hard.
'They are?' he asks ' I'm not!' He says angrily, bitterly.
'An awful lot of people seem to think so including me' I say.
'And me!' We turn around and there's Ron. He sits the other side of Harry and puts his arm around his shoulder 'Alright mate?' he asks.
Harry nods. 'Thank you.'
We don't ask why, we know. There's a silent understanding between us now, Harry will not shut us out anymore. It's alright Sirius, he'll be okay. Rest in peace my darling Snuffles, he's safe.
Cause I'm tired of all the pain
I'm tired of being strong
So won't you come and stay?
Let me lay down in your arms
Cause there I'm safe
So please
Let me lay down in your arms
In your arms.
Let me lay down in your arms
I've been getting down
Tired of all the running around
Bout all the questions and standing in line
But like my friends say
You have got to do it anyway
Just gets harder when you ask why
I know they're watching me, they always watch me now. They're frightened I'll do something stupid, they always have been. For the past week I've been at the order, today we said goodbye to Sirius, and don't they understand I don't want to be watched? I want to be left alone, just for a little while, just for a rest. I'm so tired. I'm so tired of being the hero, of saving them. I'm only a child yet they look to me to lead them, I am their hope, but my hope lies dead somewhere my only connection the memories which are simply films about ghosts, I need hope too, I need hope to live, but I'm so tired.
I'm tired from all the weight
I'm tired of being strong,
So won't you come and stay?
Let me lay down in your arms
I feel someone behind me, I don't know who it is, it's not Dumbledore he's left, Remus he's alone not here though, this is my space, my solitude. I want to be alone but I'm scared of being alone too, I'll always be alone, if this sorry messed proved anything it proved that. I will never keep love, I will only loose it. I feel someone sit beside me; I don't look maybe if I ignore them they'll go away. Time passes and whoever it is, is still there, I look sideways my head resting on my knees, it's Hermione. 'Hey' she says quietly. I'm silent, I look at my best friend and I have a longing to crawl into her arms and feel safe, feel loved, it's strange I can be weak with Hermione, with Ron I never can, but this time I won't be weak again. To let her care, let's her risk her life, lets her die. I remain silent.
Talking to myself,
Some people don't know how to slow down.
I've got a troubled, troubled mind,
And you've got a heart,
A heart so kind.
'How are you?' Such a simple question but the answer, the answer what will that be? Will it be honest; will it be a lie? Maybe a mixture of both. If I lie she'll accept it, she won't believe me, but she'll accept it. If I tell her the truth, she'll comfort me. 'I miss him.' I hear myself say. That's the truth, the basic truth.
'I know' she replies 'I miss him too.' She looks at me she doesn't break eye contact. I feel myself lean towards her. She smiles at me, I feel myself smiling back. She puts her arm around me and I rest my head on her shoulder. 'Your not alone, Harry.'
Don't worry bout what you have,
Cause if you need something
You can just lend it off me
You don't have to promise more than you want to
His head is resting gently on my shoulder. Another year has gone by, this year I was more frightened than any other, this year I thought he would finally be broken, broken beyond repair. He didn't reply to any of my letters apart from once, the letter just before he arrived. I sensed a change in my best friend then, he had been put back together, not by me, not by Ron, I don't know whom by, but he was unbroken once again.
He reaches for my hand and he grasps it tightly I feel his shuddering breath he's crying again, crying like he did after the Triwizard tournament, but this time the loss had been so much closer to his own heart, this time he has lost his father again. 'Sshhh' I soothe. Ron had wanted me to leave him alone, to give him more space. But I told Ron he's had enough space, I want to be there for him again, I want to let him now he's not alone, he's understood and that I'm here for him.
I remember hearing him yell when he thought I was dead, I know he thought I was dead, Neville told me. He thought he had lost me, but he hadn't he just lost something as precious if not more so. He nearly lost himself. When I thought he had died last year I could of died myself, he's my best friend, and my brother. I love him. I love Ron and I love the boy who is crying now. I miss Sirius too, I miss his laughter, his jokes, and I miss his youth. He seemed too young to die; I can't believe he's still gone, every time there is a small laugh I expect to see him to be the cause of it, funny how sounds fit people. There's not much laughter now only silence, suffocating silence, fear and grief. Yet there is something else there too. For me there is, there's hope, Harry is my hope.
The crying has stopped now. I pull him close to me in a hug and whisper 'He loved you so much.'
'I'm tired Hermione, so tired' I pull back and see the truth in his words he is an old man in the eyes that meet mine. I know Harry is in there somewhere and when the time comes Harry will find the courage he needs, he is not breakable, this I know.
'Then lean on us' Harry looks at me 'I meant what I said Harry your not alone'
'Why are you so eager to die?' He looks at me saddened I look straight back at him.
'I don't want to die Harry, but some things are worth dying for' he looked at me then swallowing hard.
'They are?' he asks ' I'm not!' He says angrily, bitterly.
'An awful lot of people seem to think so including me' I say.
'And me!' We turn around and there's Ron. He sits the other side of Harry and puts his arm around his shoulder 'Alright mate?' he asks.
Harry nods. 'Thank you.'
We don't ask why, we know. There's a silent understanding between us now, Harry will not shut us out anymore. It's alright Sirius, he'll be okay. Rest in peace my darling Snuffles, he's safe.
Cause I'm tired of all the pain
I'm tired of being strong
So won't you come and stay?
Let me lay down in your arms
Cause there I'm safe
So please
Let me lay down in your arms
In your arms.
