Notes:

SO SO VERY SORRY!!! Major writers block + stress + work = no fic!!

Please feed me so I have more energy for it all!! Thank you all who have reviewed – you are absolute gems that keep me living!!!!

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slayerkid – you. Are. Gorgeous!! AAH! THAT'S A FAB REVIEW!! I'm shaking after that!!! WOWOWOWOWOW!! Thank you so much, I treasure that!

Dustyvamp mucho tanx! Yes – 'shy' b/s was BUGGY It annoyed me to have to write it!!!

Brasil thank you! Lovely persona thatcha R!

Trinity thank you , aren't you an alternate person for the name of that girl in the matrix?

Msu well, now YOU are just plain wonderful.

Natalie your review means loads!! It is great! Even a 'its really nice' review is still LOVELY and HAPPY INDUCING – always always review – writers will sing your praises coz it is so lovely for them!

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Stuff between these lines:

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are song/poem lyrics, disclaimed at the beginning of a chapter if necessary.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next week was filled with all the trepidation, excitement and playfulness that pulling the past into the future should bring….

"RACE YA INTO THE LAKE SLAYER!!!"

Spike ran across the camp, kicking off his shoes into the moist grass as he did so. Diving in from the fishing pier, he did a few strokes while waiting for Buffy to jog up.

"Spike!" she laughed at the sight of him, wet through - with his hair mopped to his face.

"Come on Slayer, get in pet."

"Spike, its nearly one in the morning. I thought we were going for a walk."

"We were, but the lake was just waiting for us, ducks. Come on."

"I'll spoil my clothes and it'll make a mess for when we go back-"

Spike grinned and seemed almost to sigh.  "My my. Buffy Summers, Slayer, Tomboy, my best friend. The most manly girl in UC Sunnydale…look at you."

"Look at me? Whats changed?"

"My Buffy wouldn't have given it a second thought. Clothes? A Puddle? Messy hair? My Buffy knew life, the chance of it – was worth so much more than that stuff. What was it you used to say, pet?"

Buffy frowned and turned away slightly. "I should seize the day, I'm not sure how many lives a Slayer can have, but I've lost two and I might only have one left."

"That's right. Two outta three you used to say. 'Two out of three – I've lost whatever game it was, the last hand is just for fun.'"

"That was a long time ago, Spike."

"You lost another life?"

"No."

"Still holds true."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Right, so Ms Summers and Spike are at the game point!"

Buffy grinned, bouncing the ball. A fitting yellow long-sleeved shirt accompanied her baggy jogging bottoms and pony tailed hair. Blue trainers supported her feet and her cross and some bracelets were all the jewellery on her person. It was an unusual change, but a comfortable one. She no longer felt in necessary to overly-adorn herself with 'normal' girl things, they were a nuisance anyway now that Spike kept her active and moving.

"Alright, Spikey."

"Bring. It. On."

"Do you want some pom-poms? I'll understand if you realise that watching is the only sport you're capable of."

"Harsh, pet – is talking all you're worth? I need some action."

"Oh, I'll give you action."

The game was a particularly tough one, Spike winning by luck instead of skill. Buffy's performance had radically improved, and now they played everyday for the kids to watch. They preferred Buffy and Spike to television. Now that – is amazing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They went fishing, Spike catching very little and becoming beyond proud with it. Buffy and Liz watched as he proudly held his fish up to the world before throwing it back into the lake where it flopped away.

"Dad!"

Spike grinned and came off the pier to join the two giggling figures on the picnic blanket. The day was a warm one, everyone was lazing about – not even the teachers could be bothered with anything when the atmosphere was a humid and hazy, sleep-inducing smudge.

"Spike, that was pathetic."

"Buffy, I'd thank you to keep my honour in front of my child."

"What honour, Dad?"

Buffy and Liz snorted as Spike deflated and grumbled at the two minxes opposite him. On the inside however, he was glowing. Buffy and Liz looked beautiful together – like those perfectly choreographed television adverts. The sun played across their faces and Liz, sitting on Buffy's lap was playing with the elder woman's hair and laughing.

"…shouldn't we?"

Spike broke out of his daze and realised that Buffy and Liz were both looking at him expectantly.

"Yeah, pet."

"See, Liz – there are two main features of a…"



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Buffy, luv."

"Yeah?"

They were sitting together on the bench where they had first spoken. The night was dark as it had been that night, but on this occasion, Buffy was sitting much closer to Spike and they were in a comfortable silence before Spike had spoken.

"Tell me. About Faith and…giving it up."

"She was killed by a Kzenmagh Demon."

"Nasty gits."

"I killed it." She replied, tonelessly.

"Thought so."

"And the rest of the demons in her town."

"All of them?" Spike asked, though it was barely a question.

"Yeah."

Buffy sighed and looked away from him, far into the sky as if watching a scene play out at the end of the universe.

"It was so fast. A few hours after her death, they located the next Slayer. She was a girl, 17 then. Her name was Claire. They asked me to go meet her, talk to her about being a Slayer. Then they told me she was The Slayer. The Chosen One. I was no longer needed. So I left it all. Freedom from slaying – that's what I'd always been waiting for. I'd learnt to forget the possibility of a white picket fence. But Claire gave me the chance to take it, so I did, of course I did."

"You did because you wanted to give something back to the scared, angry, 16 year old Buffy? Or you did it because you were STILL that scared, angry, 16 year old Buffy?"

"Spike."

"Well?"

There was a pause, she seemed to begin another sentence, only to look away from the sky, to the ground, and speak.

"Claire died a year later. Then Annabel was called, she lasted two years. Now we're on Holly, she's been doing well – mainly because Giles decided to step in a little with her."

"You didn't answer me Buffy."

"You know the answer, Spike."

"Do you?" he snapped, barely containing his thoughts. This was the conversation he'd been dying to have since finding her again.

"Of course I do."

"I'm not saying go back to it pet. You know I'd never wish you in that for one more second than you'd have to be, but you weren't made for 'normal' luv - or at least not the traditionally normal. The Slayer in you didn't just die. It's still a part of your very soul. And we both know how particular you are about souls."

"What are you trying to say, Spike?"

"You don't need to force yourself into a 'normal' that you don't fit into. Wearing a ton of jewellery, dresses and finicky make-up and beauty stuff - that restricts you pet. You're made for running free with nature – natural in every sense of it, pet. You are a force of nature. You MAKE your own 'normal'. You don't fit in anywhere because you aren't meant to. You're above that."

"How do you know, Spike? You don't know me that well anymore."

"Of course I don't. It's been a long time, pet. Not out of choice though, was it?"

"Look, you said we could move past that."

"I lied. I want to know what took my best friend away from me."

"Something even you can't control."

"WHAT? WHAT? Coz' you've defeated EVERYTHING pet, every demon, every curse, every problem that could END THE WORLD. So, I find it hard to believe you couldn't defeat whatever it was. Coz MY Buffy would never have given up."

"It was the right thing to do at the time."

"That's great, pet."

"Spike, just leave it."

"Fine. I will."

"I'm sorry."

"So am I."

"Friends?" she offered, wearily.

"I never stopped, ducks."

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~~~

"Alright kids!! Listen up!!"

It'd been two days since Buffy and Spike had argued, and the very next day things went back to how they had been. Both of them acted as if they had forgotten the painfully truthful words that had been yelled, though in reality – it was all they thought about.


Spike was helping at a sports lesson while Buffy had a class.

"Ok. Thanks. Now, I've had complaints from Mummies and Daddies who want letters home. So, today we're all going to send our Mummies a pretty card and tomorrow we'll do one for our Daddies!"

Buffy held out the paper box and the pencil box in each hand and started rallying all the children to tables. It was all quite hectic; everyone was excited at the thought of writing down everything they were doing.

"Come on Liz, write a letter to your mum." Buffy realised what she was saying just as she said it, and the smile died on her face as Liz seemed to close in on herself and run out of the classroom. Buffy left the things with the other staff teacher and ran after the small figure in front of her.

"Liz!!"

*Dammit, Buffy! You idiot!*

Buffy slowed to a jog as Liz fell onto her bed and pulled her knees to up and cried.

"Hey, Liz. I'm sorry."

"It's ok." Came the muffled, tear-stained reply.

Buffy noticed that the girl had managed to grab and cling to a picture of Sara. Not sure of how to go about things, Buffy sat on the bed next to Liz.

"Hey Sara." Buffy began, watching as Liz looked up at her, "How are you?"

There was a pause, Buffy smiled. "If you were here today you'd be so proud of Liz. She's so beautiful and smart and kind. The best thing about her though, Sara – she's just like you. Her face, her smile, every time I see her I think of you and how proud you must be of her."

They were silent for a few moments, Liz now silent, with a few understanding tears on her cheek, a comforted look on her face.

"Dear Buffy's Mummy." Liz began; her eyes meeting Buffy's slightly scared ones,

"I've never met you, but I know who you are. Daddy's galleries are named in your memory. He said that Joyce Summers was one of the most honourable and loving human beings he'd ever encountered in his whole existence. If you're that amazing, Buffy must be pretty good too. Say hello to my mum if you see her."

They smiled at each other and hugged, not noticing Spike's retreating figure, tears streaming down his own face, his arm supported by Peter's who was torn between rejoicing and crying.

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next few days were a blur of laughter, colours, costumes, songs and jokes. Spike and Buffy were getting closer by second and Liz was getting more and more eager that something could happen between the two.

That night, there was a dance show on the grass. Small lanterns cast a beautiful yellow haze across the 'stage' as those not performing settled themselves on the grass, talking and waiting for the dancers to enter.

Spike and Peter settled themselves near to the edge of the lake. All of the audience were on one side of the lake, while the 'stage' was on the other. After glancing at Liz, who was giggling with Verity a few metres away, Spike continued his conversation with Peter. They were interrupted after a few minutes when some oriental music started to seep into the air and suddenly Spike's heart seemed almost to beat.

She was beautiful. Her hair was pulled up into a splaying knot with slightly loosened wisps. A long flowing deep purple floating dress fell at her heels as she lifted her hands into the air and began to dance, a score of slightly older children behind her. But Spike's eyes never even fully took in that anyone else was there. Buffy's fluid movements and hypnotic arches of back seemed designed for him alone.

The dim, yellow haze that surrounded her was set off by the black sky, peppered with clear stars that reflected in the murky waters before them. It was entrancing, and when it was over it seemed only a few seconds had passed in a reality of close to half an hour.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Writers block is evil

Its worse than a whiney weasel

The only way to defeat this foe

Is to help me grow

A larger ego

Please review!!!!