Thanks again for the reviews. I hope you like this one too.
Disclaimer:
Cowboy bebop is not mine.
Spike woke up feeling empty and misplaced. He shifted his position on the couch & quickly noticed the presence of abundant space.
"Faye?" he asked as he sat down.
"She went out for bounty" Jet said. He was lying on a sleeping bag beside the couch. They were all forced to sleep out on the hangar since the Bebop was still full of smoke.
"This early?"
"Yeah, a friend of mine called me on a tip"
"How much?"
"1 Million"
"Why didn't you wake me then? She's gonna take it all and splurge it in one sitting at some casino or something."
"I tried, you just kept snoring. You were so out in lala land you kept mumbling 'I wantmyicecreamback' over and over"
Spike almost choked on the cigarette he was about to light. "I want my ice cream back?!"
"Yeah" Jet laughed "what the hell were you dreamin' of Spike?. Some bully took yer ice cream? – And get yer ass off the couch you're gonna burn it!"
Spike stood up to leave.
"Where are you going?"
"Gonna get my share of the bounty"
"Never mind that I told her to take Ed"
"ED?! You let the kid go out on a bounty?"
"Yeah, well she needed a hacker so I got Ed to go along with her"
Spike grinned. "wanna bet on who's coming back and who's not?"
"Happy now huh?" Jet smiled. "Well, you can go back to being all lonesome now because since were the only ones here – you'll be my lucky assistant in cleaning the bebop"
"Aww, Hell No!"
Faye was back a couple of hours later. She went straight for the shower and came out wearing short shorts and a white top. She sauntered into the living room, a first aid kit in one hand and a pint of ice cream in the other. "Hey, there! Has my little baby been a good boy? Look here, see?" She waved the ice cream in front of Spike "I got you your ice cream. It's you're favorite!" She said as if she was talking to a toddler.
"You are so creative, Faye" Spike answered mimicking her. "How's the bounty? Or should I ask – where's the money?" He continued as Faye sat down beside him on the couch.
"Elementary" Faye replied as she reached out for some popcorn on the table. *hey, aren't we supposed to be low on budget?* she thought as she scanned the contents of the table which has a bowl of popcorn, some beer, an open bag of chips and a half eaten chocolate bar.
"Elementary huh? That why you have that bandage on your shoulder? – Its bleeding by the way, come here"
Faye handed Spike the first aid kit and angled herself so that he can have better access on her shoulder. "I can't very well fix it with one hand can I? And for your information, I didn't get this…" she gestured at her wound "…from the bounty. Ed, 'the genius', was playing with this crossbow she found at the museum we caught the guy in and accidentally shot me with it"
"So where's Ed now?"
"She 'accidentally' tied herself on the front of my redtail, Ein's out on the hangar right now trying to gnaw her off" Faye replied as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
Spike laughed as he finished re-bandaging her arm. "So where is the money Faye?"
"Why do you keep asking me where the money is? It's not like you helped me catch the guy. And no – before you go on accusing me of being 'selfish', I still gave the kid some of it, God knows she hasn't got anything to use it on anyway, I gave Jet his share for the bebop and used my share to get my redtail back so I'm pretty much back to where I was when I started, with just a few hundred to spare, so maybe I'm gonna go out tonight and splurge it. I'm a woman you know, I like to pamper myself"
"Hell, woman, have you ever heard of the use of a period in a sentence?. It means you stop at some point and not keep yapping away"
"You're the one who asked lunkhead" Faye said as she grabbed another handful of popcorn "Where'd you get all these junk food anyway?"
"Oh, those? Bought 'em"
"With whose money?" Faye arched an eyebrow.
"mine"
She looked Spike straight in the eye *who's he kidding? He's almost as broke as I am* Faye thought *Hell, why can't I read those eyes of his – he just looks so damn cold!*
"You done starring at me now?"
"No" Faye said *well if I cant get anything out of you that way, I'll get it out of you some 'other' way*. She thought and then proceeded to slide her way onto his lap.
"Faye, what do you think your doing? Are you planning to put on a show for Ed and Jet? Not to mention the mutt."
"No, Jet went out somewhere and Ed as you may well remember…." Faye trailed off placing soft wet kisses along Spikes jaw.
"managed to tie herself on the redtail….. yeah" there was an edge in his voice *ok, heighten your senses Spiegel she's about to pull something…*
*Damn, he's reading me again – but I can fix that!* Faye slowly made her way down to his chest, as she opened his shirt one button at a time. Her hand slithered their way to his breast and lightly flicked an erect nipple with her fingers.
"Ahh!" Spike cried out * Damn she's good*
"Take off your pants, Spike" Faye said in a breathless whisper as she struggled to get Spikes coat off.
Spike's hands were busy fumbling with his belt when he sensed Faye's hand rummaging around in his coat. Too late, though because Faye quickly snatched his Cash Card and easily avoided his hands as she looked at it's current balance. (note: sorry but I don't know what those card things are called)
Spike gave up and just prepared himself for the coming slaughter. *she's gonna see it anyway* he thought.
Faye's face turned into a menacing monster as she read the balance through gritted teeth "10,000,000.00 woolongs. Grrrrrrrrrr! Where did you get this?"
"10 billion bounty, didn't Spike-person tell you?" Ed said. She was crouching right beside the two.
"Aaack! How'd you get lose?" Spike asked.
"Ein ate the rope".
"10 billion bounty? What 10 billion……" Faye remembered the bounty they brought in a couple of days ago "that was 10 billion?.... not 10 million?" She turned to Spike "I'm gonna kill you – you fuckin' piece of lying shit!!!!!" she screamed as she punctuated each word with a punch and a kick, pummeling Spike into the couch.
Spike caught each fist in his hand and flipped Faye onto her back trapping her beneath his body. "Calm down Faye…." He grinned.
"CALM DOWN??! YOU FUCKIN CALM DOWN YOU LYING CHEATING SON OF A BITCH!" she screamed as she struggled to get free.
"Hey. Its not like we didn't give you anything, you're just gonna waste it all anyway" He said. He couldn't help but smile at her struggling form beneath him.
"YOU HAD ME RUNNING AROUND AFTER A SMALL BOUNTY, MY REDTAIL GOT IMPOUNDED BECAUSE – I – THOUGHT WE WERE RUNNING LOW ON CASH – AGAIN! AND ALL THIS WHILE YOU WERE SITTING AROUND ON A MOUNTAIN OF CASH!!!!!???? I GOT FUCKIN SHOT BY A STUPID ARROW!!!!!"
Spike snickered.
* oh really, you think this is funny? well there's no hell like a woman scorned Spike, you just wait*. She pulled her knee up and it went into contact with something 'very soft' in between Spikes legs. Hard!.
Jet heard Faye's screams when he got inside the Bebop and ran into the living room just in time to see Spike fall limply down on the floor clutching his g***n as Faye kneed him..
"What the hell are you doing now?" Jet said.
"What are we doing?" Faye said. "You lied to me! You got me working my ass off while the two of you sat here and watched!". She said as she kicked Spike for good measure. He was still rolling around on the floor.
"Fine, I'll give you some, satisfied?" Jet said putting his hands up *there goes our budget*
"Never mind the money Jet, I've seen where it went. Everything's fixed around here. But you" She kicked at Spike again "I'm not finished with you yet Cowboy!" She said as she left.
"oh, God!" Spike said looking up at Jet and clutching his b***s "you gotta take me to a hospital Jet, I think I'm gonna be amputated".
"the hospital? Spike, from the looks on her face, I think I'd better hide my ass on the other side of the galaxy".
A while later Jet was speeding through the Bebop yelling for ED.
"ED! Come on!, we got to get out of here! Go grab Ein!" He said as he took a look around the living room to see if he would leave anything he knows will get damaged later on *oh yeah, the couch*. "Wait here a sec. Ed. This won't take long…"
"Where are we going Jet-person?" asked Ed but all the answer the kid got was a whispered "Spikes gonna kill her this time".
A minute later he, Ed, and Ein were on his hammerhead speeding off.
Spike went out of his room. The ship was unearthly quiet. *what's going on here, where'd everybody go?*. He thought as he made his way to the hangar. His mouth dropped. His hair stood on ends and turned white. His skin turned from pale, to blue to red and back again as he fell to his knees his arms reaching out.
Right there in front of him was a grinning Faye, victory plastered all over her face as she presented him with a newly painted Swordfish II.
"Oh, God not my BABY!" Spike cried. As he crawled his way to his ship. A Neon Pink Swordfish II with yellow polka dots. "AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Spike screamed.
After a grueling 4 hours of trying to get the pink paint off of his Swordfish II. He finally decided to just bring it into a paint shop the next day and left it as it is. He went back inside, stopped by the bathroom then went into the living room. He stopped in his tracks to find the new couch with a smooth transparent plastic covering. There was a note on it in Jets handwriting that said 'now you can't stain it whatever hell breaks out while were gone'.
*Fine*. He lit a cigarette and sat on the couch. He stretched his legs, placed his hands and rested his head on the back of it. He relaxed and…….
'Spppplllllliiiifffff". flop.
He slid right off of the plastics smooth surface and landed on the floor.
*Great, juuuuust great* he thought as he took a nice long drag from his cigarette.
After a couple of minutes, Faye came waltzing out of her room, she passed the living room on her way to the bathroom and noticed Spike sitting on the floor. "watcha doin' on the floor Spike? Lookin for your brains?" She said as she passed him.
In the bathroom, Faye took off her clothes and went into the shower, she turned on the water.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Revenge is sweet" Spike said as he heard Faye's screams. A minute later he heard the loud banging of her steps on the Bebop's floor.
"HOW DO I TAKE THIS OFF?" She said between clenched teeth.
Spike guffawed. In front of him was an almost naked Faye in her underwear. Her skin had turned neon pink. "It won't come off for a couple of days!"
"WHAT?!, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" She cried as she dove at him
They wrestled on the floor for a couple of minutes until Faye shoved Spike aside and took hold of his pack of cigarettes. "Alright! Alright! Truce for now, but the war isn't over yet!" She said "I'm just too tired from painting your ship…" she yawned and lit the cigarette as she sat down on the couch.
Spike's eyebrow flinched as he remembered his BABY but he looked at Faye expectantly. She rested an elbow on the back of the couch and relaxed herself.
'Spppplllllliiiifffff". flop.
Faye slid right off. Spike clutched his stomach and started laughing again.
"Why is the couch covered in plastic?"
"So we couldn't stain it." Spike answered in between bouts of laughter.
Jet, Ed and Ein has just landed the hammerhead and heard the laughter from the inside. *I guess the storms over* he thought as his gaze landed on the Swordfish II. "Oh, God!" he said as he laughed his head off.
"Wow, zipcraft looks pretty" Ed said as she marveled at the ship.
Jet made his way to the living room laughing and thinking if his couch was ok. Once there he found Spike on the floor clutching his stomach as he laughed with a Pink Faye glaring at the couch. It was untouched. Jet laughed some more as he went over to them.
"Are you two done now? Why can't you just grow up?" He said as he sat down.
Spike and Faye turned to him expectantly.
'Spppplllllliiiifffff". flop.
"Shit!"
Spike and Faye laughed "can we take plastic off now?" Faye asked
"and get your pink butt all over it? Shit no!" Jet said, he was now glaring at the couch. He stood up. "Im cooking dinner. What do you guys want?"
"Beef" said Spike.
"I'm going to my room to put some clothes on" Faye announced.
"hehe you don't need 'em Faye you look like your wearing pink leotards underneath your underwear".
An hour later they were seated in the kitchen eating dinner.
"Let's take off the plastic, Jet no one can sleep let alone sit on that couch with it on" Faye complained. *I want my couch but I'm not sharing!*
"She's right you know, why have a couch if you cant use it" Spike added. *I want my couch but I'm not sharing!*
Jet was about to reply when.
"Weeeeeeeee! Flop. Weeeeeeee! Flop. Weeeeeeee! Flop."
They looked at each other then headed for the living room.
Ed climbed onto the back of the couch then let go.
"Weeeeeee! Flop!" she went as she slid on the couch. She stood up and climbed back on again.
"Weeeeeee! Flop!"
Author's Notes:
>>>>Anyone out there knows what they call that card thing they use like a credit card?.
>>>> thanks Beth for the plastic cover idea.
>>>> if there's any corrections with the grammar and spelling, sorry 'coz I'm soooo lazy right now to bother - :D. I'll get around to it on the next chapter. Hopefully around next week 'coz I have plenty to do this weekend.
