If it comes out really weird please review telling me so. I keep having formatting problems. If it happens again I'd like to know so I can fix it asap.

A/N: Yeah, I'm blatantly stealing/paraphrasing with this title, but oh well. This chapter is a bit (read as: A LOT) weirder than the ones before, but fairly pivotal in our little saga of Jounouchi-kun's tortured existance.

PERSONALS: angelic nightmare: Yugi doesn't respond, 'cause he's part of Jou's delusion. he has lots of 'em. they make appearances in this chapter.

Blue Loon Lagoon: lol, the 'give more chappies' dance always works!

Ly the werewolf: Thanks! (I'm actually very grateful to everyone who didn't freak out 'cause I've been in a mental center. I was afraid to put it at first, but it felt like one of those old NBC commercials 'the more you know' where stars would give little inspirational messages' I felt I should.) As for Fierce Child. Chapter 12 was reposted and completed, and now I'm finishing the epilogue. Chapter 1 of Fierce Heart is already to go as soon I finish the little epilogue.

THANKS TO EVERYONE ELSE WHO REVIEWED ME!!!!
Master: Out of the White, Into the Red.

***

PLEASE.......

***

"God, you really don't get this do you? I've been standing here wasting our time for over three hours now and you're as dense as ever." the boy shook his head in frustration. His long coat wisped quietly around his legs.

Jounouchi curled his knees to his chest and lughed lightly, carefully hiding his tear filled eyes from the person standing casually across the room from him. He was tied down to his hospital bed by thick straps that encircled his wrists. Besides the fact the straps were padded he had the extra protection of the bandages wrapping most of his forearms. He chuckled again. Sure, they were good. The hospital people, he explained mentally to himself, very good. After he had spent hours scratching and tearing at his arms with his fingernails they'd placed his hands into these special bags that reminded him of overmitts. Of course he still had perfectly good teeth.

//Please, just for a bit, let me up for a bit. I'll be good, oh so good. You just have to let me show you! I can, really. I promise. I can be good. I'm so good. I'll do whatever you say....what--whatever you....want. I can, I can do it,....I will.....so sorry.......I'm good.....//

Now he spent most of his time strapped into bed. He could still bring his legs up to his chest, but try as he might he couldn't reach any part of himself with the intent to hurt. He wasn't sure why he was so concerned with hurting himself, but it brought a certain dull relief that nothing else in the small white room provided him with. The pain sung, it pulled him away from himself into another place entirely, a place where things weren't so damnably white.

***

MASTER

***

The other person in the room leaned heavily against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. He huffed quietly and rolled his eyes. He had been keeping Jou company for the past few days, although Jou wasn't sure just how helpful this apparition was. Still, Jou desperately needed this company, needed to make things alright, to live up to expectations.

"Oh come on! Just fucking get well already!" the darker boy yelled to the boy tied to his bed. Jou laughed. Though annoying, his other was extremely entertaining. He was so serious, a scowl pasted perpetually across his lean face.

//Well....I'm well, aren't I?// he laughed more.//I'd know if I weren't well, wouldn't I? Wouldn't I? I'd know, I'm sure I'd//

A firm hand slapped him across the face. Jou blinked in confusion, staring up with dull eyes. A nurse and two orderlies stoof over him, each wearing identical worried expressions. Soon a doctor came rushing in, adusting the glasses on his round face. "What happened?" he demanded shortly, noticing the red mark marring the pale skin of Jou's cheek.

The nurse backed away, her eyes downcast. "I-I'm sorry! I just couldn't, I didn't know what to do anymore!! He was screaming again, it was so loud...." she trailed off apologetically, her hands twisting the fabric of her apron.

The doctor sighed and smiled lightly. "I'm sorry, I know this is hard, you haven't been on the job long. I'd like to move you to another patient, build your experience a little more slowly. This is a very trying case, I can understand your frustration."

***

Where....master? Master?

***

The dark boy frowned and stared hatefully at the administrators. He could understand the frustration too, but he hadn't gone running for the hills yet. Jou giggled. Perhaps the other couldn't. While Jou studied his companion intently the doctors talked quietly amongst themselves.

The dark hair boy stared at him, those eyes, just starign. It was tearing apart his soul. His mind reached eagerly towards the feeling, his heart sinking deeper into his chest. His body ached and his skin prickled, conflicting sensations worming through his tired body. He blinked back tears.

//It hurts, it hurts. Oh gods... those eyes. My heart...it's so...PLEASE!!! Oh god, I don't want to, no hurt, oh, please. HELP! why won't you? No...just help me..........please.....? help........//

He screamed into the whiteness of the ceiling, trying to bring down the attention of the other ones who watched out for him, but no one was coming. The hospital staff all turned and tried to comfort him, or contain him, but he didn't need them at the moment. He thrashed wildly as the darkness was coming down over the room, the coldness seeping into his body. He could feel the bright crimson of his blood pumping fast through his head, could feel the emptiness welling up inside him as he screamed for salvation, but still nothing. He bit savagely at a hand that tried to come across his chest and hold him down, he snarled as though a dog gone feral. Eyes stared at him from within the darkness enveloping him, cold blue eyes that froze him, turned him into ice even as he still struggled. Pain bit into his arm and the darkness retracted suddenly, a new nothingness replacing it from the inside. The last thing he remembered were the mirthless eyes of his darker half looking down into his own with lightly veiled amusement.

***

To sleep, perchance to dream? If I wake will you still be with me?

***

It was nighttime when he woke up next, but he wasn't alone. The dark boy was sitting at the end of the bed, slender hands clutching at the blankets, twisting the soft fabric this way and that, his face deep in introspective contemplation. His eyes were cold and hard as always. Besides the slight movements of those beautiful hands no other trace could be seen to tell if the other boy was even alive. Jou wondered biefly if he wasn't breathing.

//Could he do that? He has to breath...he's here right? He's not just playing games? He loves games, I can play if that's want he wants. Whatever he wants....he doesn't want to breath than it's alright. I hope he doesn't mind if I breath, I have to I think....unless he says....//

"So..." Jou coughed softly, his voice cracked and horse. He licked his lip to try and gget some moisture back into his mouth.

The dark boy looked up briefly and shrugged. For some reason the gesture bothered Jou, it was painful to watch the seeming uncaring of this other individual. The boy stood abruptly and walked to the door, the one portal out of this white hell. "Dinner comes soon, you know that?" the brunette said suddenly, his soft voice conveying whole different levels of meaning.

Jou nodded. Despite his bouts of unconsciousness his internal clock was preternaturally aware. He was never sure what day it was, or what month even, but he could tell the time with near-precision whenever asked. It made little sense, but whatever could not be explain, Jou accepted that it was the will of those who watched him. It made him smile.

//They're there....still...watching...right? Right? Master....watch me.//

"You need to watch, to listen carefully. Everything she does, everything she says." the other whispered quietly, his voice deep and strangely intent. "We don't want to be here forever, do we?" The words eerily echoed his thoughts, to watch, to listen.

Jou looked back blankly, uncomprehending. Of course he didn't want to stay like this, tied to a bed in a padded cell, he was still conscious enough of himself to know that much. He didn't understand what the other spirit was asking him to do, what it was trying to tell him.

The door swung open, swishing through the other spirit in a disturbing manner. The dark boy simply walked back through the door and emerged on the other side, his movements mimicking that of the nurse. She smiled pleasantly at him and brought in a rolling tray that held his dinner. She was new. Jou had a hard time recognizing people lately, but he knew he hadn't seen this young girl before. She pulled the tray across the bed and began to set out the utensils and his juicebox. She lifted the top from the tray and the bland familiar smell of hospital food assaulted Jou's nose. No, he definitly didn't want to stay here forever

***

I'm coming, oh gods it hurts....but I'm coming. Wait for me, WAIT!!!

***

The girl smiled cheerily and straightened his bed covers. "Hi, I'm Jun. It's nice to meet you Jounouchi-kun." it vaguely bothered Jou that the girl would adress him with any degree of familiarity. He didn't know her and didn't want to. He stared back passivly at her, not responding. Her brow creased slightly for a moment, but then it was replaced again by a grin, but more tight and forced now on her thin face. She absently swept back her long red hair into a ponytail and grabbed the fork from the tray. "What would you like first?"

Jou let out a string of sulfurous curses before shuting up and keeping his mouth firmly closed. This time it was the other boy's turn to chuckle. Jounouchi struggled slightly and fitfully turned himself as far from the girl and the tray as possible given the fact he was restrained and could really only go so far. He wanted nothing to do with this girl, this food or this hospital, and he meant to show that clearly. He heard the girl huff rather loudly, then she grabbed him by the chin and tried to forcibly turned him back towards her. Jou thought it was pretty laughable that the slip of a girl thought she could move him. A forkful of turnip mush was shovelled into his mouth. He wondered vaguely how Jun had managed that.

"She's pushy." the dak boy growled from his position against the wall behind the candystripper. He had one knee cocked up slightly and was bent over with his elbow on his outstretched knee supporting his head, it looked both awkward and comfortable. It was also the only way to watch Jou without coming closer. His friend almost always prefered to stick by the walls when they weren't alone. Perhaps being walked-through was as disturbing to feel as it was to watch.

Jou nodded his agreement and feeling particularily beligerent, he spit the disgusting food back out. Jun growled lightly, much to Jounouchi's satisfaction. She bent over the side and got down on her hands and knees and began to clean up the mess he'd made. Jou's eyes glittered darkly, the tray was so close.

//...so slow...so careful....just reach a bit. Help me, why the hell won't you help me????? If I can just , please, make it, please. I can make it, make it for you. TO you. Come for me, you haven't.....I have to....try...why?? What am I doing...but....please.//

He bucked his knees up suddenly, jamming them into the underside of the tray as hard as he could manage. He twisted slightly as he did it, sending the metallic cart sprawling onto the floor, the food spilling out across the bare tiles. The candystripper glard bitterly at him, a ugly grimace on her plain face. She walked slowly from the room to the cleaning cart sitting right outside, she was muttering angrily.

***

So close. Close.

***

It made ripping noises, such sweet ripping noises. He teared fast, eager and excited. It felt so good! The sawing motion was frantic and unsteady, but at such a pace. His hand deftly snaked out of the half torn bond to undo the hurtful strap that still tied him to the bed. He smirked and looked around, he was still unsteady from drugs and having been tied down for days, but he was UP.

//Coming.//

It was so sweet, the faint buzzing sound of the tearing, soft and ragged as he tore. The sensations rippled up his hands and thrummed passionately throughout his body, sparking every nerve into blessed wakefulness. He heard he sharp intake of breath, last breath.

//Only breath if he says so......//

He had never realized how beautiful the colour was, how bright it was as he painted the whiteness over with beautiful crimson. She scowled, even as her eyes melted, light pooling and draining into some unfathomable depth below her. Jou didn't know where the light was headed but he hoped it was somewhere red.

//COMING!!!//

The keys jingled so pleasantly, the metal so refreshingly cool against his dry skin. He giggled slightly as the dark one followed him. One by one the voices came and found their bodies, so many eyes watching him, waiting in anticipation. The corridor was small and of course, it was white. He wanted to escape this white universe and for a moment he looked longingly back into the redness he'd painted.

//so sweet....copper....the smell the taste....it's copper and it's life and it's everything. It's his, all his and so am I, I belong. The life, my life it is all inside and it BELONGS!!!//

He had to move forward, find another place to go, another colour to be. The keys tinkled joyously in his sweaty hands as he moved towars the first window. He could see the eyes above him, staring down hatefully, trying to burn and destroy him, trying to bar his way. He snarled visciously and hurled himself at the window, jerking frantically at the rusted grating. It gave way beneath his frenzied attacks, screechingly pulled from it's frame, hurling them both backwards. The ones watching him laughed, mocked him and he growled. The dark one look into his soul questioningly. "Where will you go?" it asked softly, voice so harsh and so lovely. He wanted that voice, wanted to drown in it.

//Co....coming....c-com..ing....//

He wanted to embrace the figure, to strangle it and a million other things at once. He wanted to run from it, to it, be it. So many desires, it engulfed him, devoured him completely and the thoughts took him into their blissful redness. The knife bit deeply into his arm as he stared and watched the red drip down along the blade and puddle onto the floor by his feet.

***

WHERE?? PLEASE WHERE???????

***

After a moment Jounouchi smiled. He knew, he had a plan. For the first time in his life Jounouchi Katsuya had already thought ahead. The dark one and all the others had helped him, taught him this. He pulled in the feelings and thoughts of his others, those who now surrounded him and tucked them deeply into his heart, the thoughts and needs ready to serve and wake when they were needed.

//Need...whatever you need.....what...what do I need....??//

He snickered deeply as he crashed out the glass from the window. He was ready, he could go now, be free. There was still so much to do, so much that remained to be completed before he could rest in that final red place. He closed his eyes, tears mixing with the rain. He howled voicelessly as he jumped into the freshness of the green world and sprinted into the black night.

Inside the darkness coiled and churned, mixing through and around the red, intertwining. There was so much to do, so much he needed. One thing must come first though, before all. He needed to be free, to lose everything before he could be born again. That meant he must sever the strings that dug inside his flesh, binding his heart. Only then could he go to the rednss that awaited as his destiny.

//YOU. THERE IS ONLY YOU. MY NEED. NEED//

His eyes flashed darkly in the pale moonlight as he streaked unseen and unheard through the dead sleeping world that filled the blackness. He left to seek out the red.

*** MASTER!!

*********************** A/N: Jou's deeply insane by now. I'm sure you've noticed that. He's a bit more lucid in the next chapter. I hope you guys will actually stay tuned.