(a/n: Oh, I'm so happy that people are reading this! All of you are my real true source of motivation! Sorry that I didn't update sooner, but I was busy with school -namely English, now my least favorite class- and an FFVIII fic, which I had hoped to finish last week, but ...homework interfered.)
Chapter Four- Dreaming
Lloyd awoke to the warmth of a steaming cloth being pressed upon his face. He opened his eyes narrowly and nearly shouted when he saw whom was nursing him.
" Shana?"
He had almost expected the Moon Child to be killed, but by her having friends such as Dragoons and a person like Dart in love with her, he realized how ridiculous that notion was. But he was more or less disappointed to see that he was in her care. He had half expected to see the woman he was searching for in front of him.
" I don't think you should talk. Dart and I both found you and Meru passed out outside of Deningrad from Hypothermia. I'm surprised that you're even still alive." But as she finished her sentence, she let out a small and bitter laugh. " Actually, I am surprised that you're alive. We had seen Melbu Framha kill you with our own eyes."
Lloyd attempted to sit up but his body parts refused to function. His legs also felt as if they were on fire. There was no escaping Shana's interrogations, something that he himself was not ready to deal with. The answers would simply be a waste of time because he had in fact died, but he had some how been revived, most likely by the woman he was seeking, for what reason he failed to know.
" What's even more odd is that you're traveling with Meru."
" Where is she?" Lloyd suddenly asked.
" With Miranda ..." Shana said carefully. Lloyd could tell that she still didn't trust him, and he did not blame her for her hard feelings. He had kidnapped her and had burned down her home. He wished that he could have taken back everything that had happened but sometimes, for the prosperity of the earth, sacrifices are essential.
Shana had turned her back to him and was wringing out the cloth in a small bowl that sat on a stool next to the bed Lloyd was in. It was strange how all of the women now had their hair in buns and were wearing dresses. Last he had seen Shana, she was wearing shorts cut to a shameful level. Deciding to take his mind off of the ever changing world of fashion, he took in his surroundings and recognized the crystal white walls; he was in the Crystal Palace. He had been having strong feelings that the woman he was seeking was within these walls but for some reason, that feeling had completely diminished.
If only he could bring forth her name...then he could simply ask for her whereabouts. He remembered it being flirty and playful almost ...a bit like her nature. But at the same time, it didn't suit her. She seemed to have a deep sadness dwelling in her, and that misery had increased over the past year. He had to find her. It was eating at his soul not being able to see her.
Forcing himself to get up, Lloyd ignored the pain that screamed at every part of his body.
" N-no! You can't get up now!" Shana said, turning her attention away from the bowl.
" You cannot stop me."
Lloyd swung his legs to the side of bed and retrieved his shirt that was hanging on the bottom left post. He pulled it on and then stood up to get his boots but Shana pushed him down harshly. His aching joints began to burn again and he cast her a fierce look.
" Will you stay out of my way, you silly girl!" he shouted. He was about to get up again when the door opened and Miranda stepped in. He remembered her as one of the Sacred Sisters, though she was not very sisterly. She had become slightly more woman-like but she still kept her haughty attitude fresh.
" Trying to get away?" she asked Shana. She directed her gaze to Lloyd and leered. " I wonder what he's planning this time."
" Miranda, you know that he had only wished for the world to be--"
" Give it a rest," Miranda cut in. " I would rather let him die, but ... I doubt Wink would be happy that happened."
At the sound of the name, Lloyd felt his chest tighten and his heart begin to beat rapidly. Wink! It was her! All this time ... and his heart had been leading him to the right place.
" Where is she?" he asked, managing to maintain his cool exterior despite how crazy he was inside.
" Wink?" Miranda asked. She paused for a moment, most likely to drive Lloyd up the wall, and chewed on her bottom lip. " She's certainly not here."
" Isn't she--" But Miranda cut Shana off again.
" Maybe she's in Ferno ... she could be in the Twin Castle ..perhaps the remains of Neet ...." Miranda trailed off, pretending that she was thinking of more places that the fourth Sacred Sister could be. It took all of Lloyd's strength not to impale her with the javelin that was beside his bed. He decided that it was best just to get Shana alone and ask her.
As Miranda continued to ramble off every possible town known to man, Giganto and Wingly, Lloyd decided to curb his frustration by focusing his attention on something else. The javelin glinted and he gingerly picked it up with one hand. It looked very familiar...
" That's Albert's!" Miranda said, grabbing the weapon out of his hand. " I don't think you would appreciate it if people began to touch your weapon, such as your Dragon Buster!"
" Albert is here?" Lloyd asked, trying not to let his amazement show. How many Dragoons were present at the palace?
" Yes, in fact, so is Princess Emillie and Dart," piped Shana. " Dart really wants to see you again. In fact, he's wondering about how you had come back from the dead."
" Maybe he's thinking about reviving his dad and Rosie," Miranda suggested. " I mean, why would Dart want to see a stuck up, full of himself, idiot, naive--" This time, Shana interjected.
" We get the point. Now heal him before his toes fall off!"
Miranda scowled at the brunette but pulled out a milky white stone from the belt she had around her waist. She held it slightly above Lloyd's head and reluctantly muttered that she wished for his strength to be restored. A flash blinded them momentarily and Lloyd instantly felt his body healed, like being out in the rain.
" 'Thank you, Miranda.' " the blonde mocked before storming out of the room. Shana shrugged , as if to apologize for her actions but Lloyd didn't care. Her antics only amused him. He decided to ask Shana about the whereabouts of Wink when Meru burst in, perfectly healed.
" A ball!" she cried out and twirled. Lloyd made a face and instantly Meru blushed, stopping.
" Yes, that's why everyone is here, actually," Shana said. " It will be tomorrow night, so I'll be seeing you then."
She got up and whispered something to Meru, which caused her amber eyes to light up. Meru mumbled something back and Shana nodded, then left the room. Meru stood in the door way for a moment before Lloyd told her to come in.
" I wanted to talk to you about ... yesterday," Meru said, taking in deep breaths. She looked at the floor, the Dragon Buster, the ceiling, anywhere but at Lloyd. " I would feel better if we completely forgot about it."
It seemed like something she would do -to hide something and pretend like it never happened. Although he was against what she had suggested, he didn't want to bring it up again, either. It was one experience that he hoped to forget forever. Well...not everything.
Meru must have noticed his smirk because she kicked his shin with her pointed blue slipper. It hurt.
" You're not thinking what I think you're thinking, are you?" she demanded. Under a different prospective, Meru was very beautiful. Although her personality would cause his death, she was physically attractive. It was commendable, also, how she never took anything anyone said about her to heart.
" No, not even a bit," Lloyd said. He smiled then, but it was more of a smirk. " You do know you're not that good looking, don't you?"
" Excuse me?" Meru huffed, prodding Lloyd in the chest with her long fingernail. " You can't possibly mean that!"
Her eyes were so wide with disbelief and insult that Lloyd laughed, something that Meru did not take very well. She turned on her small heels and stormed out of the room.
Lloyd stared for a moment at the door she had slammed before walking towards it and leaving the room as well. Inside the castle, people were busying themselves by preparing for the ball. Servants ran in and out with platters, a few shot Lloyd a dirty look, and many were decorating the palace with extraordinary vines. Lloyd, though, failed to be amazed. He simply took in the magnificence in mild interest, his attention more focused on one of the women whose face was covered by a rather large cake. He moved towards her, but was stopped halfway by a man he knew, now armor-less and wearing a brown cloak with the typical peasants garb underneath.
" Lloyd...I can't believe it," said the man, shaking his head, which no longer bore the red bandana.
" Neither can I," Lloyd coolly replied, but he was talking more about Dart's clothing. Dart noticed that the Wingly was giving him a look of disbelief and he laughed, clapping Lloyd on the back heartily.
" I'm a working man now," he explained. " Shana and the twins..."
Twins? Lloyd thought in shock. He knew that one moment longer with Dart would turn into a five hour discussion about his children and what he assumed was married life with Shana. It was sickening how after marriage, men became no better than old women. It also disgusted Lloyd that this man had defeated him numerous times.
"...and that time that they--"
" It's been nice talking to you," Lloyd said, cutting Dart off. He quickly moved away from the former Red Dragoon only to see that the blonde woman was gone. Yet his determination to find her was not fazed. He pushed aside some servants, who glared at him, and made his way further inside of the castle. Here, the amount of servants diminished and he could see who he assumed were the Sacred Sisters of Mille Seseau. There were only three, Miranda being one of them. He didn't recognize the other two, but he had a haunting feeling that he had been in the room before, with the fourth sister.
" Lloyd!"
His thoughts were abruptly cut off when Albert stepped in front of him and held out a hand. Lloyd looked at it acidly and quickly Albert withdrew it.
" Listen I'm---"
" Very busy, I know," Albert said, not allowing Lloyd to finish his sentence. " With what, though, that may be of concern." He laughed but Lloyd knew that the king did not trust him.
" I don't know why I'm here," Lloyd said in a low voice. His voice trembled slightly, for the fear of truly being in ignorance and in the darkness. For the fear of someone perhaps controlling his life. " I must find the Third Sacred Sister." The name had come unexpected and he paused.
" You have saved her before, but I am not worried about Wink," Albert said, taking a few steps closer to Lloyd and practically towering over him. " What I want to know is, who is Meru to you?"
Lloyd angrily pushed Albert aside, muttering that winglies would forever be above kings. He then raised his voice so that everyone in the room could hear, " That girl had forcefully wanted to travel with me. I want nothing to do with her! I'm bloody sick of these interrogations, and would appreciate it if you would all just get out of my face!"
The room became a deadly quiet until the only sounds were of Lloyd's boots hitting the crystal floor.
*&*
" Lloyd!"
He continued to ignore the calls of the younger Wingly as she chased after him. It was commendable how she had managed to follow him for the greater part of the day, but she was going to collapse soon. Her wings' speed had diminished and he knew she would have no option but to give up.
Lloyd resumed grazing the sea as he flew as far possible from Mille Seseau. His search was fruitless, only resulting in him becoming badgered by the Dragoons. A part of him was happy of all the grief he had caused them those years ago.
" You can be good..."
Lloyd abruptly stopped, and Meru flew straight into him. They both lost balance and began to fall until Lloyd's wings emerged and he grabbed Meru before they both hit the turbulent water.
" What is it?" Meru whispered, noticing the worried expression of Lloyd.
" Nothing."
Meru studied Lloyd for a few more moments before asking whether he was to return to the palace.
" I would rather not," Lloyd said. " You should go back. Your friends are there."
" But Lloyd, the only reason Albert and Shana were suspicious of you was due to the attacks!"
" Attacks?"
" People in Mille Seseau have been attacked by a creature awfully similar to the one that we saw in the Emerald Forest. Funny thing is that these people are acquaintances of the Dragoons."
Once Meru had finished, Lloyd lingered no longer on the thought of returning. He flew back with Meru and by the next day, they had arrived. Meru was instantly whisked off to be fit for clothing, but Lloyd had flatly refused. He, instead, sought out Dart or Albert in hopes that they would enlighten him on the attacks that had been taking place.
Unfortunately, he had seen neither of them for the palace was so full of people that it was difficult to even move from one side of the ballroom to the other. He was about to leave the ballroom when Meru tapped him on the shoulder.
" Did you find them?" she asked.
Lloyd shook his head and his breath caught when he saw Meru fully. Her hair was extraordinarily done on the top of her head, with wisps framing her face, and her dress was a dark blue that was low cut with Celtic designs running over the top. The gown split in the middle, revealing an inner blue skirt and she simply looked...wonderful.
" Ah, I see that you like my dress," she said, then held out her hand. " You might as well accompany me to a waltz."
Lloyd allowed a smile to grace his firm lips, and he took Meru's hand in curiosity. Meru seemed to be surprised by this, and a small pink blush appeared on her face. Her eyes cast down to the crystal floor, she allowed Lloyd to take hold of her elbow, lightly, and lead her to the middle of the room. His hands snaked around her slim waist, and Meru let out a small gasp.
" Why are you doing this?" she asked, not bothering to look up at him. " I was just...bugging you."
" No, you weren't."
He drew her in closer, and her eyes flickered to his momentarily before resuming to their normal downcast position.
" Y-yes, I was...I mean..."
" You asked Dart, and danced with him easily. Why is it such a huge deal when it comes to me?" Lloyd's smile widened. " One would think that you dislike me, Meru."
" That's not true! I mean, yes! I...I..." She broke away from him, gathering up her skirt and running onto the balcony. A few couples dancing looked at Lloyd with question, but he ignored them and walked casually to where Meru was standing. Once entered the balcony, he could see that she was leaning against the jewel embedded railing, and was staring at the stars.
Silently, Lloyd moved beside her and tried to follow where she was looking. Yet his mind couldn't be calmed. It ran from the thoughts of her being near...and of something else. A small part of him was devoted to confusion and perhaps even rejection of something. He was always sure about everything, and didn't try to question what happened. Soa did what was meant to be done.
" I should go back..." Meru suddenly said, her voice low and even disappointed. " This never should have happened. "
Lloyd jerked and stared, wide eyed, at the young wingly woman.
" This is not typical of you."
" Oh, you don't know anything about me!" she cried, seemingly herself again. She turned around and winked at Lloyd. " I'll stay, if there's a reason for me to."
The man sighed, looking away from Meru. Her fingers lightly grazed his arm, and instinctively, his hand went onto hers.
" A dream plagues me at night, Meru," he whispered, not fully understanding why he was revealing to Meru one of his deepest, and most regretted, secret. " A woman..."
" The blue rose!" Meru suddenly shouted, and Lloyd quickly clamped his hand over her mouth.
" Will you shut up?"
" Agh Fwowgy!"
He removed his hand, now feeling annoyed that he had even mentioned anything to Meru. But as he looked at her again, he noticed her eyes as interested and devoted to hearing the rest of his tale, and understanding of the situation he was in.
" This was the reason you went on the journey," Meru realized, her voice softer, as if on the breakage point. " In search of her."
" I'll do anything to find her, to be with her," Lloyd confided. " I believe she's here right now."
" Who is she, then?"
" Am I mad to tell you?" Lloyd laughed at Meru's hurt expression and shook his head. " No...not until I'm sure."
" But she was first seen in a dream..." Meru asked, more to herself then to the man next to her. " The language of the soul."
" Yes."
" Have you ever heard the story of the Moon Goddess?" Now Meru was close to him, her expression more of concern than question. When Lloyd shook his head, Meru began the tale.
Many years ago, there lived a man who was deprived of all love from his lonely life. His parents had died when he was young, and he was forced to work terrible deeds just to get by. The only thing that had made given him hope was when at night, he would sleep on the grass underneath the stars and the glorious moon. The moon shone so brightly and was everything he had even wanted. She was beautiful and he would shout to her every night that he wanted her hands in marriage. The moon would just laugh and turn her head away, releasing the sun into his eyes and blinding him as she disappeared, not to return until darkness overtook the light.
One day a beautiful woman noticed the man, who had by now become successful and rich. She was not interested in his wealth; his eyes were what drew her in and she immediately fell in love with him. The man, so desperately wanting to be loved, married the woman, but he could still not get the moon off from his mind. She was there every night, smiling at him and laughing. Very soon the woman was aware of her husbands infatuation with the luminous orb and it drove her to insanity. It seemed that nothing dominated his mind except for the moon; he had even stopped working. In his heart, he truly believed that he could be wed to the moon and never gave up on requesting her hand.
It came to the point where in all of her sorrow, the woman drowned herself in the lake, where the moon reflected its image upon. That way, she would be content that her husband would look at her as well when ever he was gazing at the moon. The man had not even noticed that his wife was gone. He remained at his window, staring at the moon, his one true love.
After she had finished narrating her story, she wasn't smiling, but frowning in place. It seemed that the story was dear to her in some way, but aggravated her at the same time.
" A beautiful story," Lloyd said, meaning every word. He had never thought of the girl to be mature in the least but her tale turned his perspective of her around to an extent. The story itself had a haunting feeling to it and he asked Meru what the moral was and what purpose was she trying to convey to him.
" Do you understand the true intent behind this tale?" she asked, her voice more deeper and emotional then he had ever heard it to be. " The man in the story was so consumed with the moon that he couldn't even think for himself. He never realized that the woman whom he thought the moon to be was no more then a figment of his imagination."
" Yes, I did come to that conclusion," Lloyd said with the slightest hint of irritation in his voice. Meru's upset expression matched his own, and she grabbed his shoulders, staring straight into his amber eyes with intensity.
" Please understand," She whispered, looking down for a moment, but then gazing into his eyes again. " You yourself are like that man. You're so obsessed over this dream woman that you cannot even think for yourself. What if she doesn't even exist?"
He broke away from her and scowled.
" Let me be," He growled. " You have never been in love before, so you cannot know what I am feeling right now. This is not obsession; it's destiny."
He turned his back on her and walked back into the ballroom while Meru sat down slowly on the stone ledge, watching his retreating figure.
" If haven't been in love before..." she whispered through her tears. " then what is this I feel towards you?"
*&*
(a/n: Good place to end? Bad place to end? Review plz, even if just to say 'Hi, I'm reading this!'. I love hearing peoples comments!)
