Harry Potter in a Theatrical World

Hello again, I would like to first of all give out a personal thank you for those who have given me quite a few encouraging reviews, it really has brought my morale up! Anyways this chapter more or less sums up what is going to happen to Hogwarts due to all the crazyness/randomness so please enjoy once again.

In the previous chapter Sirius Black had made his entrance and announced that he would be the next Transfigurations teacher much to everyone's surprise, however a load of dementors gatecrash the happy scene.what is Sirius going to do? Read on to find out.

*Sirius faces the dementors and says in a British posh accent* Well hello ladies! What shall it be...tea and crumpets for you jolly good old chaps?

*Dementors* .......

*Sirius* Okay now I'm in trouble...

If things couldn't have gotten worse, no other than Gilderoy Lockhart comes dashing in with his dashing looks and dashing smile, wearing a bikini, halo and holding a pink wand in his left hand. As he dashed his way towards the dementors he sings in reply "NO NEED TO FEAR FOR GILDEROY LOCKHART IS HERE!!!!" *He however runs past the dementors and crashes head first into a wall, smashing right through it*

*Sirius and everyone except for Ron and the dementors*...Rigghhhhhhttttt.

*Ron* Oohh mama! That was one hot sexy fox! *Does a sexy growl*

*Harry* Uuuhh Ron that was Gilderoy Lockhart.you know our Defence against the arts teacher back in our second year..

*Ron*...And?! come on! That person who just ran just wore a bikini..even better, it suited their perfect figure. *Drools*

*Harry* You're really are taking this pimping style way over the top..

*Ron* Damn straight!

Anyways going back to the scene of Sirius and the Dementors, the dementors now are advancing slowly towards Sirius, and poor Sirius is unsure what to do.

*Sirius* What do to what to do...need something sacra religious *Looks down to Hermione* Oh well seems to be my only option.

So with seeing Hermione still knocked out on the floor, he grabs both of her hands and holds her stretched out in front of the dementors "Behold the almighty messiah of God!!!! And fear her wrath!!!!"

It did seem to work, the dementors seemed to be retreating but it wasn't because of Hermione's holy sacra religious self...it was obviously because of her odour coming out from her armpits...the pungent smell was unbearable even for the almighty grotesque dementors.

*Ron* Now...it's really time to test my pimping skills.

Quickly putting his shades on, he slides over to a dementor with a grin on his face and says in a low sexy voice "Hey there baby! How about you and me go out and get some sugar!!!"

*Harry* ..Uuhh Ron you're going over the top...that's a dementor you are hitting on...

*Ron* Will you just shut up I know your jealous that you can't get all these fine ladies about you but there is no point lashing it out all on me now...jeeze.

The dementor who was hit on my Ron in the meantime made his escape as he was more scared by Ron's fluorescent pink hair than anything else.

*Ron in a sarcastic tone of voice* Well thank you Mr Potter! I've just lost my catch of the day!

With saying those words, Neville and Draco (Yes the chase still goes on between these two) quickly run past Ron with Draco still screaming like a school girl.

*Ron* What luck! A damsel in distress! No need to fear my dear! Pimping Ron is here!!!!! *With that he follows the chase in order to save Draco from Neville's flab.

As soon as the latter three had left the hall, a load of elves, dwarf and human warriors all come marching in as if ready for war.

*Harry* Oh great what now...

Aragorn looks around and then unsheathes his sword, Legolas has his bow and arrow aimed at one of the dementors and Gimli is trying to see what the hell is going on.

*Gimli* That does it I am going to do what no man will ever dare try!

*Gimli with this decided to put on some 24 inch platform boots heels making him as tall or taller than everyone else and with a menacing grin with his axe held in both of his hands he says "Alright who wants soooommmeee?!?!!?"

*Everyone including Sirius and the dementors have very blank expressions on their faces*

*Sirius* Uuuhhhh wrong scene people.the Lord of the Rings fanfiction is taking place in.uuhhh the Atlantic ocean.

*Aragorn* Thank you my friend..then to the Atlantic ocean we shall go!!!...Gimli stop messing around!!!!

Gimli in the meanwhile was having a hard time balancing on his 24 inch platform boot heels, and was walking and squashing all the dementors on the head. "I can't! these Platform boots are hard to keep my balance on! Oops sorry there sir didn't mean to squash you to pulp."

As all this was happening, no other than Hagrid came rushing in dressed in a red and white dress and a white hat and holding a basket in his right arm and seeing the sight of Gimli made water swell up in his eyes

*Hagrid* Gimli! My baby son! I have been looking for you all my life!!!

*Everyone all looks to Hagrid in shocked expression..could this be true? Is Hagrid really the mother or father of Gimli the dwarf warrior? Well you must admit they have a sudden resemblance excluding the height factor*

To be continued..