Harry Potter in a theatrical world

Hello again! Once again thanks for the encouraging reviews, I really appreciate it, well this is chapter 4 of this exciting gripping hilarious pointless fanfiction so please enjoy my little minions! Mwahahaha (Joke about the minions).

Chapter 4

*Gimli* It can't be...mama?

*Hagrid snorts* Oh please I am your father......can't you tell by the way I am dressed?!

Gimli looks Hagrid up and down and perks a brow at the red and white dress, the white hat and basket.

*Gimli* Well if you're my papa..who is my mama?

Just on cue (As usual) no other than Lucius Malfoy comes charging in, dressed in a nurses costume which was awfully tight for him. He strides towards Gimli until he stands two inches away from his face..Lucius breathes so hard on Gimli it sounds like darth vaders normal breathing pattern.

*Lucius* Gimli....I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!

*Gimli* ..............MAMA!!!!!!!!! *Tears start to flood the hall*

*Gimli, Hagrid and Lucius all embrace in a happy family reunion*

*Sirius* Oh God...how can this be....LUCIUS IS A MAN HE CANNOT POSSIBLY BE THE MOTHER!

*Lucius* Actually Black I did..I was artificially inseminated by a turkey back in the good old days!

*Sirius* What!?!?!?!?!!

*Lucius* Scared you there didn't I! Hah the jokes on you! Actually I implanted a female reproductive system into my body because I really wanted to get in touch with my feminine side.

*Sirius* My God...That is sick!.......and you should..

*Sirius doesn't get to finish the rest of his lines as Hermione storms down the isle (Yes she has finally regained consciousness) and whacks Sirius on the head with a metal leaded sign of the cross bigger than herself. Sirius however does the matrix dive and everything turns to slow motion while he dodges*

*Hermione* DIE IN THE DEPTHS OF HELL FOR SAYING GOD'S NAME IN VAIN!!!!!!!

*Sirius being The One, didn't feel intimidated or feared the one named Hermione, instead he grabbed a spoon from one of the tables and gently tapped it on her head........once again Hermione renders back to the unconscious state*

*Sirius looks at the spoon in interest and then looks up at the ceiling* There is no spoon....

At that particular moment, Draco, Neville and Ron are still at chase with each other and they head down towards where the commotion is taking place.

*Draco* HAHAHAHAHA You fat slob! You can't even reach 10 meters of me!

*Neville* Oh yeah...well watch this baby!

Once again going in matrix slow motion, Neville dives forward towards Draco where there is a 10 meter gap between the two. His flab rippling in the air and a slow motion yell forming from his mouth........Neville finds himself belly flopping on the floor just less than 1 meter of where he originally stood.

*Draco perks a brow* Yyeeeeessss...

With the Indiana theme tune played in the background, Ron heroically jumped over Neville's carcass, dived on top of Draco and lifts him up in his arms.

*Ron as if he has just seen an angel* Oooohhh mama! I just caught myself the catch of the day..give me some sugar darling after all I did save your fine ass!

Draco tried to scream like a girl in reply but Ron had already placed his lips against his and gave Draco the snog of his life.

*Draco breaks away and looks towards Lucius* DADDY! HELP ME!!!!!

*Lucius snorts* Well quite frankly you are no son of mine! And secondly I am a mother not a father! So you get your facts right mister!

As this was all too much for Draco to bear, he faints in Ron's arms. Ron just stands there grinning at himself.

*Ron* Yes! A damsel in distress who faints in my arms...what more could I possibly ask for *Ron's eyes divert to Lucius dressed in a nurses outfit and gives a low whistle, dropping the fainted Draco on the floor he skids over to Lucius in a jiffy.*

*Ron* Hey there pretty lady..got a nice pair of fine legs to go with that outfit..how about I rub those fine legs some more to make them more finer than ever shall be? *Ron gives a lousy grin*

*Lucius who turns red in the face starts poking Ron with his (Well more like her) nail "Well for your information mister! I am in a very fine relationship with Hagrid thank you very much and *With all the poking Lucius snaps one of his false red nails in half.

*Lucius gives out a feminine scream* OH NO! NOW LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE YOU'VE BROKEN MY NAIL! HOW DARE YOU!!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU! *Starts hitting Ron with a handbag*

*Ron* Wow....I really thinks she likes me =D

*Aragorn* Now I've seen everything...

*Legolas* You can say that again...

*Aragorn* Now I've seen everything....

*Legolas* You can say that again....

*Aragorn* Now I've seen everything....

*Legolas* You can say that again...

*Aragorn* Now I've seen everything...

*Legolas* You can say that again....

*Aragorn* Now I've seen everything...

*Legolas aims bow and arrow at head point in Aragorn's direction* You better shut up now....you're seriously getting on my nerves.

*Aragorn* Okely Dokely Doo!....my bad.

*Harry*..................................................................... .......................................................................THAT DOES IT I AM BECOMING A PROSTITUTE!

*Everyone looks in Harry's direction, clasping their hands to their mouths, some students even fainting and others pretending to faint for dramatic effect....is Harry really going to be a prostitute.. Find out in the next exciting episode of Dragon Ball Z..Sorry got carried away there..I meant Harry Potter in a theatrical world =D*