Harry Potter in a theatrical world

Hello again, sorry for the wait but it's been a hectic week for me with upcoming exams and so forth. Well this is the 5th chapter to this enchanted tale so read on peeps.

Chapter 5

*Sirius* Kid you can't be a prostitute somebody has already taken that position in the wizarding world...

*Harry* Yeah..Like who?

Once again, timing is indeed an essence. Like the punctual twins they are, no other than Fred and George dressed in mini skirts, red high heels, a bra, an overload of make - up on their faces and handbags in either one of their hands came strutting in listening and singing to the spice girls.

*Fred and George at the same time* Hiya Harry! Didn't you know that we were prostitutes?

*Harry*................... I......

*Ron looks over to his two brothers* OOOHH MAMA! THIS IS MY LUCKY DAY!!

*Ron pimp walks over to Fred and George overlooking the fact that they are both his brothers* Hi there...shall we get started then? *Winks at both his brothers all sexily like*

Hermione who has woken up from the spoon (But there is no spoon!) rushes over to where the commotion is taking place, with her sign of the cross held in one hand and the bible in the other she preaches out "THIS IS WRONG IN THE NAME OF GOD! INCEST...INCEST!!!!! YOU SHALL ALL BE PUNISHED SHOWING OFF YOUR BODIES IN SUCH A DISGUSTING MANNER! YOU SHALL ANSWER TO SATAN!"

Fred and George whilst looking at each other and reading each others minds, nodded their head simultaneously at one another and then turned back to the approaching Hermione with a grin.

*Fred and George* What? This disgusting manner *They both undo their bra's flashing what's exposed of their bodies. (Notes they have had a sex change)

*Hermione stops dead in her tracks and covers her eyes* OH GOD HOW THEY BURN! MY EYES THEY BUURRRRNNN!

Meanwhile on the other side of the hall, Snape who has managed to squeeze out from beneath the combined harvester, charmed a few first years and second years students from all four houses to dance and do Aerobics to the theme tune of YMCA.

*Snape* COME ON LADIES, LIFT THEM LEGS UP, STRETCH... STRETCH...STRETCH TO THE RIGHT, JOG JOG JOG JOG! SPILTS!!!!

All the students who were also dressed in spandex's like Snape started imitating him whilst singing "IT'S FUN TO STAY AT THE YMCA!"

Additionally, Aragorn and Legolas were laughing at the fact that Lucius had dressed Gimli up in some baby clothes, wrapped him up in a blanket, fed him milk via a bottle and cradles him close to his side.

*Lucius getting all emotional after finding his (Or maybe her) Lost found son* Don't worry (*He wipes a tear) Mama's here for you!

*Gimli with a baby's voice* Mommy!!!!

*Hagrid who punches a fist in the air in triumph* Well done son...YOU DRANK ALL YOUR MILK! You've made your Papa a proud man *He swells his chest out as far as he can*

Sirius in the meanwhile who had a bunch of students crowd around him because of his amazing stunts and coolness was explaining to the kids that there is no spoon or cutlery.

*Sirius with a knife in his hand* Now listen closely...where we live...is called the material world...everything around you is materialised and not real..observe this knife I am holding....I can see it....I can feel it....but there is no knife..observe.

With saying those words he quickly flings the knife in Draco's direction where it wedges between the crack of his ass*

*Draco*..............YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS!!!!! *Draco starts prancing about doing advanced ballet moves he couldn't do before all because of this knife shoved up his pink tutu dressed ass*

*Sirius with a blank expression on his face* I have been thoroughly corrected...

*Ron points in Draco's direction* That be our first victim ladies...let's get him!

*Ron, Fred and George whilst doing the Dr Evil laugh and the finger movement to the mouth all strut their way towards Draco, in attempt to grab him and do various stuff on him*

*Harry in the meantime, whilst holding his head on either side of his head whilst the room is swirling all around him shouted out* WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!?!?!?! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! MY HEAD! HOW MUCH WORSE CAN THIS GET?!

All of a sudden Dudley Dursely comes prancing into the main hall wearing a superman costume (Yes with the cape) looks towards Harry and points at him.

*Dudley* Harry today is the day you die...FOR I AM LORD VOLDERMORT!!!! *Dudley looks up to the ceiling and laughs all maliciously like*

MWAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But first does this place have any food? I'm starving *Dudley holds his stomach as it rumbles in fury of hunger until he sees the masses of food on one of the tables!* FOOD!!!!! * He belly flops onto the table, his flab rippling in the air and upon impact and starts devouring himself with food*

*Harry and everybody* GASP! LORD VOLDERMORT!

*Is Dudley really the feared Lord Voldermort? And if not then how could a thick headed muggle such as himself have entered the wizarding world? To be continued*

Sorry for the short chapter but I have a lot of revision to do and this is the only time I can spare so now.