Harry Potter in a theatrical world
Chapter 6
In the last chapter, Harry found out that Lord Voldermort was actually his cousin Dudley Dursely! Dun dun duuuuuuuun! So how is Harry going to defeat him this time...read on to find out.
*Sirius* ...That's your cousin? Boy now I feel sorry with what you have to put up with over the summer..tell me Harry do you actually have enough room to fit into their house with that abominable lump of lards arse sticking out?
*Harry* You have no idea....Oh the emotion *Places his hand to his head* this is bringing back terrible memories of Dudley running butt naked through the hallways showing off his flab in glee..NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE HUMANITY OF IT ALL!
*Harry starts to cry like a little four year old girl, wiping the snot and tears upon his robes whilst saying in little gasps of air*..he...he...hhhee..wwoouulllddd...just.sss.ssstand there...and.and and and....*Points his finger accusingly at Dudley* MOON ME!! *Harry once again bursts into another set of tears*
*Dudley with his mouth stuffed with a pork pie* I CAN DO IT AGAIN Y'KNOW YOU LITTLE PANSY!
*Harry yelps much like a woman who sees a spider and has also got a case of arachnophobia he runs down the hallway with his hands waving up and down frantically as if he were trying to fly and just randomly starts ripping off his robes until he was only left in his pants, socks and shoes. With this he leaves the hall his yell becoming less and less audible*
*Sirius* That boys has issues....
*Dudley* NOW THAT I HAVE SCARED OFF THAT LITTLE WHELP I SHALL DESTROY YOU ALL FOR I A LORD VOLDERMORT!
*Sirius* GASP! *Hermione* GASP! PRAISE THE LORD! *Aragorn* GASP! *Legolas* GASP! *The whole school besides Ron* GASP!
*Ron* Oooooo now I can show everybody especially the seexxxyyy ladddiiieessss! (Insert sexy growl here) that I am the highlight of the show and not that damn crack head....no I mean pot head.
*Ron quickly dashes down in between the tables, approaching Dudley at a steady speed. He quickly draws out the smallest pin ever and throws it in Dudley's direction which in Matrix speed aims towards his head* DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
*The pin pricks Dudley's head which deflates the air escaping making a funny squeal*
*Dudley* NOOOOOOO I'M DEFFLLAAATTTIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!
*The whole room all start cheering and chanting Ron's name* Ron! Ron! Ron! We thought he was a Con! But he killed Lord Voldermort! So we all thought wrong!
*Sirius* You morons that last bit didn't even rhyme!!!!
*Dudley's figure starting getting smaller and smaller until there was nothing left but some skin and some crumbs of porkpies*
*The students in the school started to make noises of celebrations and practically all the girls dog piled upon Ron trying to kiss him, even Hermione!
*Hermione* OH RON YOU SAVED GOD'S GRACIOUS WORLD! YOU ARE INDEED A WORTHY MESSIAH!!!!!!!
*Ron under the mass of girls* OH MAMA! THIS IS MY LUCKY DAY!
*Upon this happy joyous occasion a dark figure moves within the shadows, taking note of all the events that have taken place so far and little noises of "Hem hem" could be heard upon occasion...she decided to show herself in her true colours*
*Professor Umbridge emerges from the shadows, she was dressed like Darth Vader but without the headgear (INSERT DARTH VADER MUSIC!) and quickly stood up on a table but it soon collapsed due to her weight. This caught the whole schools attention, particularly Professor Snape the health fanatic who came jogging towards Professor Umbridge*
*Snape* UP OFF YOUR LARDY ARSE NOW YOU CHRISTMAS HAM! LET'S CUT THAT TYRE AROUND YOUR WASTE DOWN!!! NOW WORK WITH ME! *He quickly gives a swish of his wand and the song for the river dance comes on*
*Snape can be seen doing some weird Irish tap dance which Professor Umbridge was "Hem hemming to" but clearly this did not distract him, so grabbing a Speaker Phone she says in her loudest voice possible "HEM HEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The vibrations from the sound of her voice casted towards Snape which made him fall backwards into a nearby wall*
*Professor Umbridge* HEM HEM, I hope everybody can hear me...so will the please real criminal behind all these crimes please stand up! I repeat will the real criminal behind these crimes please stand up hem hem!
*Before she could say anymore, a regurgitating toilet comes flying in towards Professor Umbridge, gobbling her up and then regurgitating her clothes back up and that remained the last of that fowl ministry of crap*
*Everybody would have cheered in glee..but they were wondering who was behind that attack. For sitting on top of a chandelier was Percy Weasley with a wry smile on his face as he says "I AM THE NEXT HEADMASTER AT HOGWARTS...FOR I HAD SUCESSFULLY KILLED DUMBLEDORE! MWAAHAHAHAHA*
*Is this true? Has Percy killed Dumbledore and has gained status to become the next head master at hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry? And what of Harry? Is he still going to run about half naked scared out of his mind? Find out soon..*
*To be continued*
Chapter 6
In the last chapter, Harry found out that Lord Voldermort was actually his cousin Dudley Dursely! Dun dun duuuuuuuun! So how is Harry going to defeat him this time...read on to find out.
*Sirius* ...That's your cousin? Boy now I feel sorry with what you have to put up with over the summer..tell me Harry do you actually have enough room to fit into their house with that abominable lump of lards arse sticking out?
*Harry* You have no idea....Oh the emotion *Places his hand to his head* this is bringing back terrible memories of Dudley running butt naked through the hallways showing off his flab in glee..NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE HUMANITY OF IT ALL!
*Harry starts to cry like a little four year old girl, wiping the snot and tears upon his robes whilst saying in little gasps of air*..he...he...hhhee..wwoouulllddd...just.sss.ssstand there...and.and and and....*Points his finger accusingly at Dudley* MOON ME!! *Harry once again bursts into another set of tears*
*Dudley with his mouth stuffed with a pork pie* I CAN DO IT AGAIN Y'KNOW YOU LITTLE PANSY!
*Harry yelps much like a woman who sees a spider and has also got a case of arachnophobia he runs down the hallway with his hands waving up and down frantically as if he were trying to fly and just randomly starts ripping off his robes until he was only left in his pants, socks and shoes. With this he leaves the hall his yell becoming less and less audible*
*Sirius* That boys has issues....
*Dudley* NOW THAT I HAVE SCARED OFF THAT LITTLE WHELP I SHALL DESTROY YOU ALL FOR I A LORD VOLDERMORT!
*Sirius* GASP! *Hermione* GASP! PRAISE THE LORD! *Aragorn* GASP! *Legolas* GASP! *The whole school besides Ron* GASP!
*Ron* Oooooo now I can show everybody especially the seexxxyyy ladddiiieessss! (Insert sexy growl here) that I am the highlight of the show and not that damn crack head....no I mean pot head.
*Ron quickly dashes down in between the tables, approaching Dudley at a steady speed. He quickly draws out the smallest pin ever and throws it in Dudley's direction which in Matrix speed aims towards his head* DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
*The pin pricks Dudley's head which deflates the air escaping making a funny squeal*
*Dudley* NOOOOOOO I'M DEFFLLAAATTTIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!
*The whole room all start cheering and chanting Ron's name* Ron! Ron! Ron! We thought he was a Con! But he killed Lord Voldermort! So we all thought wrong!
*Sirius* You morons that last bit didn't even rhyme!!!!
*Dudley's figure starting getting smaller and smaller until there was nothing left but some skin and some crumbs of porkpies*
*The students in the school started to make noises of celebrations and practically all the girls dog piled upon Ron trying to kiss him, even Hermione!
*Hermione* OH RON YOU SAVED GOD'S GRACIOUS WORLD! YOU ARE INDEED A WORTHY MESSIAH!!!!!!!
*Ron under the mass of girls* OH MAMA! THIS IS MY LUCKY DAY!
*Upon this happy joyous occasion a dark figure moves within the shadows, taking note of all the events that have taken place so far and little noises of "Hem hem" could be heard upon occasion...she decided to show herself in her true colours*
*Professor Umbridge emerges from the shadows, she was dressed like Darth Vader but without the headgear (INSERT DARTH VADER MUSIC!) and quickly stood up on a table but it soon collapsed due to her weight. This caught the whole schools attention, particularly Professor Snape the health fanatic who came jogging towards Professor Umbridge*
*Snape* UP OFF YOUR LARDY ARSE NOW YOU CHRISTMAS HAM! LET'S CUT THAT TYRE AROUND YOUR WASTE DOWN!!! NOW WORK WITH ME! *He quickly gives a swish of his wand and the song for the river dance comes on*
*Snape can be seen doing some weird Irish tap dance which Professor Umbridge was "Hem hemming to" but clearly this did not distract him, so grabbing a Speaker Phone she says in her loudest voice possible "HEM HEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The vibrations from the sound of her voice casted towards Snape which made him fall backwards into a nearby wall*
*Professor Umbridge* HEM HEM, I hope everybody can hear me...so will the please real criminal behind all these crimes please stand up! I repeat will the real criminal behind these crimes please stand up hem hem!
*Before she could say anymore, a regurgitating toilet comes flying in towards Professor Umbridge, gobbling her up and then regurgitating her clothes back up and that remained the last of that fowl ministry of crap*
*Everybody would have cheered in glee..but they were wondering who was behind that attack. For sitting on top of a chandelier was Percy Weasley with a wry smile on his face as he says "I AM THE NEXT HEADMASTER AT HOGWARTS...FOR I HAD SUCESSFULLY KILLED DUMBLEDORE! MWAAHAHAHAHA*
*Is this true? Has Percy killed Dumbledore and has gained status to become the next head master at hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry? And what of Harry? Is he still going to run about half naked scared out of his mind? Find out soon..*
*To be continued*
