"Are you sure this is going to work?" The blue one asked me.
"Sure, Pretty much… I think." I stood unsure and peered round the corner. "How many do you think they've got to?" I asked nervously…
"I do not know… I do not think I want to know." Kurt sighed back, and then returned to watching the space in the hall where Wolvie was leaning against the wall drumming his fingers against it.
"You know when you said that you had a master plan… I thought it might have more slice and dice…" He moaned.
"Shhhh" I instructed. I didn't know if my powers extended to voices… and now wasn't the time to find out.
So technically I had said that I wouldn't use my powers on my team-mates… Rules were made to be broken.
I had to use a living template so that it wouldn't be a 2D image… Wolvie was the perfect body to paste onto… well… even my thoughts were messed up. It takes a lot of concentration to do this you know.
What I had to do was get a vision of Wolvie in my minds eye, then change him to whatever I wanted people to perceive. In this case an auditionee for the Chippendales in tight black hot pants. I had to concentrate hard on that image otherwise it would fade and I'd be back at square one.
A loud knocking emanated from the room to our left, and gagged screaming.
I batted my eyes, trying to focus… it was getting harder all the time the noise persisted.
"Don't worry…" Kurt said calmly, "I'll get them to shut up…"
He Bamphed out of the hall and into the room. I heard a soft "oh my god" Through the wall and then the door opened. I turned my head slightly, and shook with uncontrollable laughter as I saw Remy lassoed to the bed with bungee cord, glowing like a nuclear power plant. He was pulling at the cords and trying to get a pillow out of his mouth with very little success.
God the girls were good… I wish I'd been drinking with them…
A few minutes later.
I'd managed to get my laughter under control enough to project the image again. Kurt however had to stand beside me and shade me from Remy's off putting glow.
At the mere mention of capturing the people who had done this to him Remy had insisted he be allowed to join the task force and I wasn't complaining, more hands made lighter the kicking and screaming girls… when they arrived.
"When they arrive don't say anything." I reminded him, shutting my eyes to avoid the glare coming from Remy.
"How do you know they're even gonna come down here Kid?" He asked out of the corner of his mouth.
"Simple. You're standing next to Jeans door. At some point tonight they have to play a prank on Jean, perhaps even multiple pranks. Jeans door is like a homing beacon for drunken girls on the rampage." I massaged my temple; the concentration was giving me a headache. A blue hand came into view clutching a hip flask… Remy's hip flask.
"No thanks… That's what got us into this mess anyway. Besides I have to keep a clear head to keep this up…"
"Shhh." Kurt Prompted as two drunken women came into view at the end of the hall.
We leapt back but peered round the corner as they headed for the door shhhing each other.
At that point however they looked up, and say the vision of loveliness I had created for them.
"HHHHHHHHUUUUHHHHHHHHH" Both salivated as they stepped slowly forward. As per the plan, with every step towards him Wolvie took one step back. Quickly though they were advancing more than one step at a time… and Wolvie even with his advanced reflexes couldn't keep up with the pace.
They lunged for him…
So I let my projection slip.
They tried to stop mid jump but it was too late. They landed at his feet in a pile and scrambled drunkenly for anywhere they could hide, but Kurt and Gambit were on them too fast.
I slumped against the wall exhausted as the boys held their prizes at arm length. They wiggled as they presented them too me like lobsters on a platter.
"You didn't prank Prof X did you?" I asked breathlessly.
"Damn it I knew we forgot someone!!" Jube's moaned as she wriggled.
The Torture Chamber (okay, okay the Retribution X living room)
"Remy pass the Bungee Cord!" I said to my glow-in-the-dark friend
"Gambit not want the petites harmed" he said as he handed over the bungee cord which had been their primary instrument of torture towards him.
"Come on Gumbo where's your back bone?" I sneered
I shot Kurt and Mel a glower as they exchanged worried glances as they struggled to hold onto the frantically writhing teens.
"You two hold 'em down" I ordered wondering if ol' one eye felt as powerful when giving orders as I did right now.
Kurt and Mel looked from me to the two screaming members of Retribution X hesitantly.
Snickt
The pair of worried mutants pushed the struggling girls into a chair where me and Gumbo hastily bound them, so they couldn't get up hell; I think that they even had difficulty to breath.
At that moment Kat walked through the door looking at us all suspiciously
"What ya doin' here kid?" I asked gruffly
"Sheesh I only wanted a drink no need for the Spanish inquisition" She said walking into the kitchen
Mel looked at Kat then Kurt worriedly as Kat emerged from the kitchen popping the ring pull of a can and clutching a Twinkie.
"Umm…I thought you were meant to be keeping watch." Mel said shiftily trying (and failing) to stand in front of the blue mutant and obstruct him from Kats gaze.
"It's been dead all night I ain't even caught a whiff of the blue furry one" Kat said cheerily, Kurt however looked puzzled "Well time to return to my post! Let me know if you see him" and with that…and a loud burp…Kat left the building.
"Did she want me?" Kurt asked
"Not everything's about you, you know!" Mel said quickly perhaps too quickly "You aren't the only blue fuzzy mutant in the building you know"
I was growing impatient and my blood lust was growing so fierce it was increasingly hard to ignore. "Let's get on with it" I growled
I moved to the video machine and shoved a video into it and hit play impatiently, I watched gleefully as the video began to play.
"You're sicker than I thought!" Mel breathed
I grinned before laughing demonically.
"Gambit not agree with this, this is wrong. Gambit's leaving!" Gambit said as he walked away. However I just continued my demonic laughter.
I was vaguely aware at Jube's and Ev sobbing, and Mel looked pitifully at them.
I laughed harder when the most disgusting bit of all occurred: the pink care bear appeared.
Outside (Again)
I was back outside with my twinkie in my hand (no pun intended). I had also got myself a soda while I was inside as it looked like I was gonna be here a while longer. I really loved my tree and I would probably come and live out here once my task was complete. There had still been no sign of Kurt although I had seen Beast earlier. When I had gone in and gotten my supplies I had seen him with Mel and Wolvie. I think that Gambit was there as well but I couldn't be sure, it had all happened so fast.
Hank was there and to be honest he looked anorexic. He had gotten really thin since I had seen him last, about two days ago now. Also I remember thinking that he must have had a freak accident since then as he had lost two fingers on each hand, and he had had a haircut. Dear got it was Kurt!!! I had had the chance to get Kurt and make him pay but I had been so interested in my twinkie at the time that I hadn't even seen him. Never mind, I'll get him the next time.
It wasn't fare that all of the other girls got to have a nice warm evening inside while I waited to get Kurt back. It should be Mel out here as she was the one who was hurt by him. He didn't do anything to me. I don't really care anymore, I'm gonna go to bed. There'll be plenty of time to get him later.
2 hours later
The video ended.
"D'ya wanna watch that again?" I asked waving my claws through the air just for effect.
Both girls were no sober and mouthed a shaky 'no'
"Awww aint that a shame?" I said turning to look at Mel who was twitching in the corner
"I'm getting out of here!" Kurt said with a bamph
Jubilee had tears in her eyes and Evelyn was shaking uncontrollably. MMmmm…maybe I had over done it. NAH!!
Mel slid down the wall to the floor and began rocking, whilst twitching muttering gibberish.
"I'm never; I repeat NEVER going to drink another drop of alcohol as long as I live" Jubilee said solemnly "I'm not even going to use mouthwash"
Evelyn started crying at the word alcohol.
Luckily for them they were saved from the rest of there punishment by the mission siren going off and they actually looked relieved to hear it. Mmm…maybe I had overdone it a tad.
Outside, in the morning light…I had been having a lovely dream in which iceman had attacked Pyro for my safety, and I had been up in a tower like a princess. It was very nice. Unlike the one that had woken me up in a cold sweat during the night. In that dream Wolvie had been dancing around like a crazed monkey. Then Scott, Pyro, Hank and Kurt had joined in and they had all done line dancing for a while before the creepy clawed one had started throwing his dirty books at me. He then started chasing me with his claws out but when I looked his claws were in fact raw fish. Then Professor X came out to stop him and – this is the most disturbing part – he had hair!!!
I was awoken by the distinctive bamph sound from my right side. I looked down from the branch that I was perched on (still very comfy) and saw the blue furry one beneath me looking quite smug for someone who had disguised himself earlier (This was what I kept telling myself, it made the pain of losing easier). I wasn't about to let this happen again.
"Mel, Mel, he's here. Urgent assistance needed, over!" She wasn't responding. I saw that Kurt was beginning to move so I decided to take matters into my own hands.
I jumped to the ground and, after shaking off my probably broken ankle, began to run at him. I grabbed a stick from the ground and began to hit him with it while yelling things like "This is for everything you put Mel through! She was hurt and you were a big meany you… you big meany!!!"
"Vat, vat are you talking about? Please leave me alone dis is getting serious!" He pleaded with me. I stopped hitting him for a second to catch my breath, but in that split second he bamphed out of there and I was simply left staring at where he had vanished. I simply yelled, "I'll get you yet Kurt Wagner. You can't escape my evil ways." As I stormed into the mansion I noticed that quite a few people were staring at me. I didn't really care anymore, although I did do a pose quickly.
Babysitting for Retribution X
I had drawn the proverbial short straw it seemed. With the majority of Retribution X, Wolverine and Rogue off on a mission to thwart Sabretooth, I had been left babysitting Kat and Bobby who had been hid under Professor Xavier's bed lighting matches when the rest of the team had left. I looked down at my clawed blue furry hand and sighed, this I feared was to be a long afternoon.
"Dr. McCoy, Dr McCoy tell Bobby to stop peeing in Storms plants!" It was certainly going to be a long afternoon.
I bounced into the hall only to get my foot frozen to the floor for the effort.
"Ha ha we fool the big intylecytool!" Bobby laughed
"Unfreeze me this instant!" I said trying to emulate Wolverines glower.
Kat tried to comply with me wishes but ended up badly singeing my fur in the process.
I returned to my seat at the Kitchen table with my Twinkie pile.
"We have are own wing ddddooooo youuu?" Kat could be heard saying to Bobby
"Yes!" Bobby said triumphantly "I'm an X-man!! Or is that Iceman, I always get confused which is which"
"You're both!"
"Am I?" Bobby paused for a second "I am!"
This was going to be the death of me.
"I know lets go ask Miss Grey what that noise was I heard from her and Scott's bedroom was last night!" Bobby suggested brightly
"Yeah why don't you go do that?" I said practically pushing them out of the door. Jean could cope with them for a few hours after all I'd already had them a whole 10 minutes, okay so Scott may faint at the question but hey it was a sacrifice I was willing to make.
10 Minutes later
It was quiet, too quiet. I looked behind the sofa suspiciously but only found half a mouldy sandwich, when was the last time they cleaned up in here, thinking about it the last time the wing got cleaned was probably when Prof. X loaned them the cleaning staff after their themed party and that was what over 5 months ago.
At that moment I hear Jeans voice in my head #Hank you WILL pay for this#
Oh well I shrugged 'who sins the most the tempter or the tempted'.
At that moment I heard the door open and dove for cover under the coffee table, this was soon much too soon I thought twitching slightly.
I peered out from under the table and looked at the apparition suspiciously; perhaps Melody was playing a sick twisted joke on me by showing me what I desired most at that moment.
"Aren't ya gonna say hi then?" Came her voice
"God Ashley I'm so glad you're back!"
