Just as suddenly as this had started, it now ends, and where there was once
a meatpacking warehouse there is now a dark room, with the curtains drawn
and a fireplace glowing in the corner. Some might consider it a cosy room,
but these people; they'd be serial killers with a mind for death. For the
fire is glowing a sickly green colour, and whilst the room is thickly
carpeted and adjourned with furniture and paintings, it could not be
considered homely in the sense that you could put your feet up and eat a
Pot Noodle on the sofa. Not unless you wished to die an excruciatingly
painful death, which quite frankly, no one wants to really, do they?
Chester, feeling rather taken aback by the whole travelling-through-space
thing, elects to remain silent for a while, at least until he has gathered
his thoughts together, which are at the moment running around all over the
place like a bunch of hooligan children in a playground. To Chester's
surprise, his two captors also look rather taken aback by this whole
scenario, which is not particularly comforting to him. What neither
Chester nor the two mismatched criminals have realised is that sitting in a
dark corner of the room (in fact, the corner furthest away from the fire,
where the shadows hang menacingly overhead) is sitting the Dark Lord
himself. Some have unwisely (and a bit too casually) addressed him simply
as "V", but even with the prefix of "Mister", the consequences are dire.
For Lord Voldemort deserves some respect (even if he is married to the evil
frump Judemort). There are some things that money can't buy, and some that
money can buy - including wives. Alas, V (sorry, Lord Voldemort) elected
for the former, but who's going to lecture him on the finer points of mail
ordering brides?
Voldemort- *Deep breathing of the type mastered by Darth Vader* (to Tintin) So I see you have used my portkey in the shape of that rusty meat hook to unwittingly transport yourself, your accomplice, and my dinner to my humble abode. Well done. Now leave.
Tintin- Er righty-ho.but, our money?
Voldemort- Oh I do apologise. (He snaps his fingers and two large hooded figures enter the room) Make sure these two gentlemen receive their payment.
Chester's captors are escorted out of the room. Agonising screams of pain are heard from outside as Chester (now sweating like no man or beast has ever sweated before) stands in the centre of the room, not daring to look at the dark corner of the room where the shadowy figure lurks.
**********************
Meanwhile. Sebastian is lying on his bed thinking about Life. What was it all about anyway? Sebastian Snape had come to Hogwarts principally because he idolised his uncle Severus. Why? He knew not. After all, Severus wasn't exactly the most generous of wizards. In fact, Sevvy had objected to Sebs coming to stay. It was Dumbledore who had invited him - "Why Severus, your nephew is positively charming. Of course I would be delighted to have him stay as our guest here at Hogwarts. Perhaps he can put himself to good use, assisting you with your potions classes maybe?" Of course it was more out of pity that Dumbledore had allowed him to stay, for it was obvious to even Sebastian that he was just plain useless - an insult to the name of Snape. Just at the moment when Seb could not have felt any worse, not even if a flobberworm had exploded in his face, who should enter the room without so much as a tap on the door, or even a clearing of the throat to make his presence known, than our dear old Severus Snape. Looking resplendent *cough* in black flowing hooded robes, much like death on his way to a party massacre, he clears his throat.
Sev- Ahem.Sebastian, I have some.business to attend to. Whilst I do not wish to.trouble you, I do have a favour to ask of you. If by some chance I have not returned by tomorrow morning, would you please cover for me in my morning potions class with the fifth year.Slytherins?
Sebastian- Of course Uncle.
Sev- And please just stick to the textbook, I would hate for there to be any.accidents in my absence. *his top lip begins to curl in a sneer-like fashion, and with this he swiftly exits, leaving Sebastian quaking in his little boots*
***********************
Voldemort- So, I see my unwitting pawns have brought me a live festering corpse. How generous. *more deep breaths*
*Chester shifts uncomfortably*
Voldemort- Oh well, there's no point prolonging the agony. Some may well call me humane, but I'm doing this to relieve my agony rather than yours - although I, the Dark Lord, have seen many horrors in my time (and caused a great many of them myself) even I cannot stomach the sight of you pitiful squib.
Chester- Sorry, squib did you say?
Voldemort- Yes, squib. A useless bloody squib! *he raises his wand.*
Reader- "What, wand did you just say?"
Ed- Yes, wand. Just for the uninitiated, Voldemort is no ordinary Dark Lord. He is in fact an evil wizard. So there.
Voldemort- Avada.
Chester- No wait!
Voldemort- *increasingly heavy breathing* What? Can't you see I'm trying to kill you?
Chester- Er.sorry, but what's a squib? I'd just like to know before you sentence me to an eternity of damnation.
Voldemort- You don't know? Muhahahahaha! A "squib" (inverted commas hand movements) is a person born to a wizarding family who can do no magic. How in Merlin's name could you not have realised?
Chester- My family disowned me at an early age. I suppose I have always wondered why the dining table suddenly grew smaller every time I attempted to join my family for dinner.or why I frequently found myself hanging upside down in thin air with my brothers and sisters laughing at me.
Voldemort- Well, after that tragic story that almost could have made me pity you - if I hadn't been the Dark Lord and all - I think it's about time I put you out of my misery. *Once again he raises his wand*
There is a knock at the door. Voldemort lowers his wand with a look of defeat on his face, almost as if Harry Potter himself was standing in front of him smirking.
Voldemort- Oh what now?
Voldemort- *Deep breathing of the type mastered by Darth Vader* (to Tintin) So I see you have used my portkey in the shape of that rusty meat hook to unwittingly transport yourself, your accomplice, and my dinner to my humble abode. Well done. Now leave.
Tintin- Er righty-ho.but, our money?
Voldemort- Oh I do apologise. (He snaps his fingers and two large hooded figures enter the room) Make sure these two gentlemen receive their payment.
Chester's captors are escorted out of the room. Agonising screams of pain are heard from outside as Chester (now sweating like no man or beast has ever sweated before) stands in the centre of the room, not daring to look at the dark corner of the room where the shadowy figure lurks.
**********************
Meanwhile. Sebastian is lying on his bed thinking about Life. What was it all about anyway? Sebastian Snape had come to Hogwarts principally because he idolised his uncle Severus. Why? He knew not. After all, Severus wasn't exactly the most generous of wizards. In fact, Sevvy had objected to Sebs coming to stay. It was Dumbledore who had invited him - "Why Severus, your nephew is positively charming. Of course I would be delighted to have him stay as our guest here at Hogwarts. Perhaps he can put himself to good use, assisting you with your potions classes maybe?" Of course it was more out of pity that Dumbledore had allowed him to stay, for it was obvious to even Sebastian that he was just plain useless - an insult to the name of Snape. Just at the moment when Seb could not have felt any worse, not even if a flobberworm had exploded in his face, who should enter the room without so much as a tap on the door, or even a clearing of the throat to make his presence known, than our dear old Severus Snape. Looking resplendent *cough* in black flowing hooded robes, much like death on his way to a party massacre, he clears his throat.
Sev- Ahem.Sebastian, I have some.business to attend to. Whilst I do not wish to.trouble you, I do have a favour to ask of you. If by some chance I have not returned by tomorrow morning, would you please cover for me in my morning potions class with the fifth year.Slytherins?
Sebastian- Of course Uncle.
Sev- And please just stick to the textbook, I would hate for there to be any.accidents in my absence. *his top lip begins to curl in a sneer-like fashion, and with this he swiftly exits, leaving Sebastian quaking in his little boots*
***********************
Voldemort- So, I see my unwitting pawns have brought me a live festering corpse. How generous. *more deep breaths*
*Chester shifts uncomfortably*
Voldemort- Oh well, there's no point prolonging the agony. Some may well call me humane, but I'm doing this to relieve my agony rather than yours - although I, the Dark Lord, have seen many horrors in my time (and caused a great many of them myself) even I cannot stomach the sight of you pitiful squib.
Chester- Sorry, squib did you say?
Voldemort- Yes, squib. A useless bloody squib! *he raises his wand.*
Reader- "What, wand did you just say?"
Ed- Yes, wand. Just for the uninitiated, Voldemort is no ordinary Dark Lord. He is in fact an evil wizard. So there.
Voldemort- Avada.
Chester- No wait!
Voldemort- *increasingly heavy breathing* What? Can't you see I'm trying to kill you?
Chester- Er.sorry, but what's a squib? I'd just like to know before you sentence me to an eternity of damnation.
Voldemort- You don't know? Muhahahahaha! A "squib" (inverted commas hand movements) is a person born to a wizarding family who can do no magic. How in Merlin's name could you not have realised?
Chester- My family disowned me at an early age. I suppose I have always wondered why the dining table suddenly grew smaller every time I attempted to join my family for dinner.or why I frequently found myself hanging upside down in thin air with my brothers and sisters laughing at me.
Voldemort- Well, after that tragic story that almost could have made me pity you - if I hadn't been the Dark Lord and all - I think it's about time I put you out of my misery. *Once again he raises his wand*
There is a knock at the door. Voldemort lowers his wand with a look of defeat on his face, almost as if Harry Potter himself was standing in front of him smirking.
Voldemort- Oh what now?
