BACK AT HOGWARTS
Sebastian is lying prostrate on the floor. There is evidence of a scuffle which, by the look of the footprints on the floor, involved him coming at Professor Bloomington with a chair and then tripping up and knocking himself unconscious. Orlando looks exasperated. He is kneeling down, and slaps Sebastian's face a few times.
Sebastian *murmuring unconsciously*- Oh yes Rosmerta, yes.
Orlando looks uncomfortable.
Sebastian- Pour that butter beer baby.
Orlando now looks both uncomfortable and repulsed.
Sebastian begins to suck his thumb.
Orlando sighs and goes to fetch a bucket of water.
****************************
BACK AT THE THREE BROOMSTICKS
Sev races outside, only to find Vlad The "Likes-to-stick-pointy-things-into- people" lying face down, Elsie kneeling on his back digging her left knee into his spine whilst Brutus The Insane has literally gone insane, sitting on his backside whimpering like a lost puppy. Bloodaxe Bob is nowhere to be seen.
Sev- Elsie, what happened?? Are you okay?
Elsie- I'm fine. Had a bit of hassle with old Vlad here, but we're alright now, aren't we Vlad?
Vlad- "Chousplah" which here means, "I would be happy to reply to your question (although it appears to be rhetorical) but right now I'm having a bit of trouble with my back, i.e. you are kneeling on it and causing me unspeakable agony."
Sev- Where's the other one?
Elsie- You mean the one with the axe? Oh, he's around.*her eyes convey a distant look*
Sev- But I need to know where. I mean, it's all well and good saying "he's around" but that doesn't really help now does it? I mean, five hundred years ago the plague was "around" and look what a mess that got us into. So where is he? Did he escape?
Elsie- Oh no, they never escape.
Sev- Er, right.
Elsie- He's over there, behind that rubbish bin.
Sev goes to take a look.
Sev- *cough* I see he's been taken care of.
Elsie- Let's just say he won't be bothering us anymore.
Sev- Come on, let's get out of here, there's bound to be some aurors lurking around, I'm sure they can sort out these three. We'd better go to Hogwarts and find Chester before Madame Rosmerta devours him.
*****************************
AT HOGWARTS
There are a lot of bubbles hanging about in a bubbly sort of fug. Sebastian has been woken by the bucket of water and is now smoking a pipe in a strangely post coital fashion, his red hair in damp unattractive tendrils. He offers it to Orlando who declines. Sebastian sucks deeply on his pipe and blows out.
Sebastian- So...how was it for you?
Orlando- Well.er. *he desperately tries to think of something positive to say, being a nice guy, as well as good looking :D *
Orlando- Well, you certainly.
Sebastian- Had stamina? I did, didn't I.
Orlando grimaces uncomfortably. Sebastian smiles in a proudly smug fashion. Then he beckons Orlando closer, who reluctantly complies.
Sebastian- *whispers* Ginseng.
Orlando- Pardon?
Sebastian- I have it in my tea very morning.
*He taps the side of his nose knowingly*
Orlando- .right. Well, thanks for that. Oh, would you look at the time.
*Orlando sidles out of the door and collides into someone*
Orlando- Oh sorry.
A quiet wise voice- Still in a hurry I see, just like you were as a child.
Orlando- Albus!
They embrace.
That's right, its no other than the silver haired Headmaster of Hogwarts- Albus Dumbledore. Fitzwilliam is standing next to him.
Orlando (to Fitzwilliam)- You took your time
Fitzwilliam- Well, it's a big place. Took me a while to find your great- how many greats is it?
Dumbledore (dryly)- I believe seven at last count.
Fitzwilliam- Let's just stick with great uncle then. I see you got yourself out of the dilemma you were in.
Orlando- Well, just about.
Dumbledore spies Sebastian slumped against the wall.
Dumbledore- Ah young Sebastian. How are you doing? I hear you've been a great help to the new substitute teachers.
Sebastian attempts to say something coherent and meaningful. With emphasis on the "attempts".
Dumbledore- Jolly good, keep up the good work.
Dumbledore turns back to Orlando and Fitzwilliam.
Dumbledore *shakes his head and lowers his voice*- Quite barmy I fear, very sad.
He turns and smiles at Sebastian in an encouraging sort of way.
Dumbledore- Now, if you two would come to my office, I'm expecting someone to unexpectedly come bursting in, bringing news that would interest you both greatly.
Fitzwilliam looks at Orlando quizzically.
Sebastian's nose twitches inquisitively, for as well as being a fool he is also a terrible gossip. Orlando shrugs. They both turn and follow him out of the room leaving Sebastian to heave himself up and stagger out after them.
Sebastian is lying prostrate on the floor. There is evidence of a scuffle which, by the look of the footprints on the floor, involved him coming at Professor Bloomington with a chair and then tripping up and knocking himself unconscious. Orlando looks exasperated. He is kneeling down, and slaps Sebastian's face a few times.
Sebastian *murmuring unconsciously*- Oh yes Rosmerta, yes.
Orlando looks uncomfortable.
Sebastian- Pour that butter beer baby.
Orlando now looks both uncomfortable and repulsed.
Sebastian begins to suck his thumb.
Orlando sighs and goes to fetch a bucket of water.
****************************
BACK AT THE THREE BROOMSTICKS
Sev races outside, only to find Vlad The "Likes-to-stick-pointy-things-into- people" lying face down, Elsie kneeling on his back digging her left knee into his spine whilst Brutus The Insane has literally gone insane, sitting on his backside whimpering like a lost puppy. Bloodaxe Bob is nowhere to be seen.
Sev- Elsie, what happened?? Are you okay?
Elsie- I'm fine. Had a bit of hassle with old Vlad here, but we're alright now, aren't we Vlad?
Vlad- "Chousplah" which here means, "I would be happy to reply to your question (although it appears to be rhetorical) but right now I'm having a bit of trouble with my back, i.e. you are kneeling on it and causing me unspeakable agony."
Sev- Where's the other one?
Elsie- You mean the one with the axe? Oh, he's around.*her eyes convey a distant look*
Sev- But I need to know where. I mean, it's all well and good saying "he's around" but that doesn't really help now does it? I mean, five hundred years ago the plague was "around" and look what a mess that got us into. So where is he? Did he escape?
Elsie- Oh no, they never escape.
Sev- Er, right.
Elsie- He's over there, behind that rubbish bin.
Sev goes to take a look.
Sev- *cough* I see he's been taken care of.
Elsie- Let's just say he won't be bothering us anymore.
Sev- Come on, let's get out of here, there's bound to be some aurors lurking around, I'm sure they can sort out these three. We'd better go to Hogwarts and find Chester before Madame Rosmerta devours him.
*****************************
AT HOGWARTS
There are a lot of bubbles hanging about in a bubbly sort of fug. Sebastian has been woken by the bucket of water and is now smoking a pipe in a strangely post coital fashion, his red hair in damp unattractive tendrils. He offers it to Orlando who declines. Sebastian sucks deeply on his pipe and blows out.
Sebastian- So...how was it for you?
Orlando- Well.er. *he desperately tries to think of something positive to say, being a nice guy, as well as good looking :D *
Orlando- Well, you certainly.
Sebastian- Had stamina? I did, didn't I.
Orlando grimaces uncomfortably. Sebastian smiles in a proudly smug fashion. Then he beckons Orlando closer, who reluctantly complies.
Sebastian- *whispers* Ginseng.
Orlando- Pardon?
Sebastian- I have it in my tea very morning.
*He taps the side of his nose knowingly*
Orlando- .right. Well, thanks for that. Oh, would you look at the time.
*Orlando sidles out of the door and collides into someone*
Orlando- Oh sorry.
A quiet wise voice- Still in a hurry I see, just like you were as a child.
Orlando- Albus!
They embrace.
That's right, its no other than the silver haired Headmaster of Hogwarts- Albus Dumbledore. Fitzwilliam is standing next to him.
Orlando (to Fitzwilliam)- You took your time
Fitzwilliam- Well, it's a big place. Took me a while to find your great- how many greats is it?
Dumbledore (dryly)- I believe seven at last count.
Fitzwilliam- Let's just stick with great uncle then. I see you got yourself out of the dilemma you were in.
Orlando- Well, just about.
Dumbledore spies Sebastian slumped against the wall.
Dumbledore- Ah young Sebastian. How are you doing? I hear you've been a great help to the new substitute teachers.
Sebastian attempts to say something coherent and meaningful. With emphasis on the "attempts".
Dumbledore- Jolly good, keep up the good work.
Dumbledore turns back to Orlando and Fitzwilliam.
Dumbledore *shakes his head and lowers his voice*- Quite barmy I fear, very sad.
He turns and smiles at Sebastian in an encouraging sort of way.
Dumbledore- Now, if you two would come to my office, I'm expecting someone to unexpectedly come bursting in, bringing news that would interest you both greatly.
Fitzwilliam looks at Orlando quizzically.
Sebastian's nose twitches inquisitively, for as well as being a fool he is also a terrible gossip. Orlando shrugs. They both turn and follow him out of the room leaving Sebastian to heave himself up and stagger out after them.
