Guilt Trip
"Hey Tai what's up?"
Normally, Taichi would have returned Hikari's cheerful greeting with a humorous reply followed by an improper insinuation about her love life to get her riled up a bit. It was a daily ritual for them, even though they had only seen each other a few minutes ago. It was a special thing between them that showed how much they cared.
People show their love in strange ways.
But today Taichi barely gave her a glance as he walked past her to his own room.
Hikari barged in a moment later with her hands on her hips, a stern yet concerned expression on her face. "All right Tai, spill it, what's up?"
"Nothing, go away Kari."
"Yeah right. Tell me Tai."
"Kari, I'm serious, get lost."
"Tai —"
Taichi sat up from where he had thrown himself on the bed and glared ferociously at her. "This is your last warning Hikari, get out of my room." He spoke so softly and seriously, even while he was clearly quite angry, that Hikari nodded and backed out of his room and closed the door behind her.
I hope it doesn't have anything to do with Matt, she thought as she headed to her own room, intending to do homework, but instead she found herself weeping.
* * *
Taichi lay face down on his bed again and sighed miserably.
I think I was a bit hard on Kari, I should really go and apologise. He was about to get up, but stopped himself. She's going to want an explanation, and I can't tell her about Davis, or about why I feel so guilty. He groaned and hit himself on the head. Stupid. I hate fighting with Kari, it's making me feel even worse.
Taichi got up and grabbed one of his many old soccer magazines and tried to focus on one of his favourite articles on a world class player. It wasn't working.
"Damn this." He threw the magazine away and sat back down on his bed again. Maybe she'll accept an apology without an explanation. It was all he could, or really rather, wanted to offer.
Having finally decided on a course of action, Taichi got up again and walked out of his room and over to Hikari's. "Kari?" he called through the door. "Can I come in?"
"Sure." Hikari sounded a bit upset.
Taichi cautiously opened the door to see his younger sister sitting disconsolately on her bed, staring out the window. She hastily wiped her eyes before looking at him.
That look broke his heart. He discarded his serious demeanour and rushed over to the bed and caught her in a huge hug. "Kari hon, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry."
"I'm sorry too," she squeezed him tightly in return. "I shouldn't have pushed you, I was just worried that maybe someone said something to hurt you."
Taichi smiled gently. "I thought I was supposed to be the overprotective one."
Hikari smiled impishly at him. "Who says that a sister can't be overprotective of her big brother. Especially one who's as loveable and cuddly as you." The smile suddenly became a smirk. "Or is protecting you Yamato's job now? I'll bet he thinks you're pretty cuddly too."
"Kari!" The sudden feeling of guilt presented itself again, thought Taichi managed to stop it emerging on his face with a mock-glare. "I really should punish you for that remark, but then T.K might get a bit angry with me."
"Tai!" Kari squawked indignantly. "You know there's nothing like that going on between us."
"Of course, that's why you absolutely have to call him at least once a night even after you've seen him all day at school. That also must be why you absolutely cannot miss on eof his games and will not go out anywhere on the weekend without him." Taichi grinned at Kari's spluttering and laughed.
Hikari glowered playfully at him then smiled. "So we're okay?"
"We're more than okay kitten." Taichi wrapped her in another warm embrace.
Hikari's face took on a more serious look again as Taichi let go. "Tai, what exactly —"
"Kari, please, I can't tell you. A friend trusted me with something and I can't even tell you about it. Please Kari, I can't betray his trust."
Hikari nodded. "Sure Tai, but if this thing makes you upset again I'm not sure I'll be able to hold myself to my promise, I care about you too much."
Taichi smiled at her. I suppose I'm really not the only one who's overprotective. I don't deserve her.
The phone rang.
"I'll get it." Taichi ran out of the room and over to the phone.
"Are you expecting a call from Yamato?" Hikari made kissy faces, but Taichi just smirked.
"If it's Takeru, I'll make you eat those words." He picked up the phone. "Yagami residence, Taichi speaking."
"Tai?"
"Hey Izzy, what's up?" Hikari shrugged from her doorway and went back into her room, disinterested now.
"Uh … Tai, do … do you mind if I talk to you about something?"
"Sure man, what's up?" Was it just him, or was Koushiro sounding a bit strange? It almost seemed as though he were nervous about something … no, that couldn't be it, when was Koushiro ever this nervous?
"Thanks. Um, Miyako broke up with me today."
"Hey man, I'm sorry."
"No, I'm okay, we were only together for three days after all."
"Oh, that's good then, I suppose." Taichi frowned. He called to tell me that? Doesn't he usually call up Jyou to tell him those sort of things? He's better friends with Jyou than me. I wonder what's really up.
"I guess. Tai? I really need your advice on something." Oh man, where have I heard that toady?
"Sure, go ahead."
"Right, I was wondering if you could help me with something Miyako said."
"Yeah?"
"She said that I should stop pretending and hiding from the truth and learn to accept things the way you and Matt had. Then she went on to say she was really sorry and she only asked me out for her own sake. She wished me well in my 'real' relationship and hoped that I would find my happiness soon."
Taichi didn't say anything at first, he just thought things through.
"Tai? I really need your help to try and figure out what she was talking about. You're better at this kind of thing than I am."
"You mean girls?" Taichi grinned and knew that Koushiro was blushing brightly on the other end of the line even as he spluttered and tried to falteringly apologise.
"Tai … I … you … that's not what I meant."
"I know Izzy." Taichi pondered on the actual topic at hand. "I think she thinks you're gay."
"What?" That's preposterous! There's no way that I could … uh … that is … I didn't mean that there was anything wrong with … uh …"
Taichi couldn't interrupt or reply in anyway to Koushiro's stammers, as with every broken phrase he let out a fresh peal of laughter. "Izzy man," he finally managed to say, wiping his eyes and holding his stomach, "it's okay, I know what you meant. You don't have to walk around on eggshells with me."
"Sure, I knew that Tai."
"Right. I've a question, why did you come to me anyway? Don't you usually call Jyou about this sort of thing?"
"I did, but he wasn't home yet. I tried his mobile too until I remembered that he told me he'd accidentally left it at home today."
"Okay, that's fine, I was just wondering."
"So, what do I do?"
"Well, Miyako probably has a fixation now that you're gay, so you might not get another chance with her."
"What is it with all the girls? Miyako also said that she thought Ken and Davis would be getting together soon. Why do they think all of us like each other?"
Taichi didn't respond, he was a bit shocked that Miyako had picked up on Davis' feelings. "Maybe they just have an intuition about that sort of thing. After all, Miyako is the Guardian of Love and Sincerity."
"And Sora's the child of Love, so she would know too. Actually, I'm glad she made that bet. It's strange, but I really do think that you and Yamato were just waiting for an opportunity like that. You two seem so perfect for each other, and today I think you were finally able to let go of everything and just admit your feelings."
"Izzy, you're starting to sound like a bad romance author." Taichi felt so bad now. Here he was trying to give another of his friends more advice on love and he was lying about the state of his own love life. "Look, Koushiro, I can't really tell you what or who you like, but all I can say is that you should listen to your heart when it comes to this."
"Now who's sounding like that bad romance author." Taichi could almost see Koushiro's smirk.
"Hey, it's the best advice I've got. Anyway, do you think Miyako's right?"
"I'm not sure, but I suppose it doesn't really matter anyway. It would be hypocritical of me to accept something in my friends that I wouldn't accept in myself."
"Yeah, I suppose it would."
"Well, thank you Tai, this really helped."
"Sure."
"I'm glad I can talk to you about these sort of things now."
"Don't do it too often," Taichi joked.
Koushiro laughed. "Don't worry, I'm sure Jyou cam help me next time. Oh, and Tai?"
"Yeah?"
"I didn't mention this earlier, but I'm glad that you and Matt both admitted things to each other."
"Izzy, that bet —"
"I know Sora made the bet, but I don't think she would have cared if you didn't go through with it. I think she only made it as a way for you two to admit things in public without as many problems. I mean, if people think it's a bet, then they won't care so much when they find out it's real."
"I guess, but Izzy —"
"Oh, sorry Tai, I've got to go. Dad's home and he's helping me install some new parts on my computer. I'll see you tomorrow."
Taichi sighed. "Yeah, bye Izzy." He hung up as he heard the dial tone. Damn, now even Izzy thinks we're serious. Why does everyone think that me and Matt make the perfect couple?
Taichi looked down at the phone, thinking about something.
* * *
Yamato heard the phone ringing as he walked trough the door.
"Damn!" He quickly shut the door and threw his school bag on the ground before dashing over and picking it up. "Hello?"
"Matt?"
"Oh, hey Tai."
"Listen are you doing anything really important right now?"
"No, not really."
"Do you think you could meet me at the park later?"
"Sure. I'll eave now."
"Thanks man. I'll see you in a few."
"Right. Later." Yamato hung up the phone. He wrote a message for his dad, in case he came home early, saying where he was and that he'd pick something up for dinner on the way home. Then he quickly changed and grabbed his keys and wallet and left his apartment. Looking at his watch he realised that he hadn't even been home for five minutes.
* * *
Taichi was already sitting in their usual spot on the large rock overhanging the lake by the time Yamato arrived. He looked absolutely miserable.
"Hey Tai." Taichi looked up at the sound of Yamato's familiar voice. He smiled at his friend as he sat down beside him on the warm sun bathed rock.
"Thanks for coming Matt."
"No problem. So, what's on your mind?"
"Guilt." Taichi sighed and looked out over the small lake. "Do you know that everyone thinks we're serious."
"Yeah." Yamato sounded as mournful as Taichi. The brunette looked over at him in surprise and found a very melancholy expression on his blond friend's face. "I talked with Jyou this afternoon."
"Oh?"
"He's in love with Izzy, did you know that?"
"No, but it makes my conversation with Izzy have more sense."
"What conversation?" Taichi told Yamato all about the call he'd received that afternoon. At the end of the retelling, Yamato sighed.
"What a situation."
"Yeah."
They sat in silence for a while, their depression and guilt thickening in the air around them.
"Do you think what we're doing is right Matt?" Taichi broke through the thick emotions and tension in the air.
Yamato looked over at his friend. "What do you mean?"
"This … relationship, do you think that we should really be making such a joke out of it?"
"It's only the first day and you're already having regrets?"
"Yamato, I'm serious. People, our friends, believe this is real. Not just that, but so many of them thought that before this stupid bet that we already liked each other. What's going to happen when they find out that it was all just a joke to us?"
Yamato didn't answer him straight away. He looked down dismally before answering seriously. "You're always telling me that I shouldn't care what people think of me. Isn't it hypocritical of you to ask such a question, especially about our friends?"
Taichi looked away, felling even worse about what he was going to do now. "Matt, I'm about to break someone's trust in me and I want your solemn promise that you won't say a word."
"You didn't even have to ask."
Taichi looked at him and smiled. "Thank you. Today, Davis asked for my advice on something."
"What?"
"On how his relationship with Ken."
"Relationship, what do you … oh." Yamato picked up on what he was talking about. "That's why you feel so bad."
"Yeah. Matt, he looks up to me and I lied to him."
"What did you say?"
"What I said doesn't matter, the fact that I let him believe something that wasn't true makes me a liar."
"Tai —" Yamato tried to say something comforting, but was cut off by Tai's anxious ramblings.
"Not only that, Davis wouldn't have even approached ma about this if he didn't believe we were going out. What will he think when he finds out that everything was a complete façade?"
"Who's to say he wouldn't have eventually gone to ask you about this anyway?"
Taichi looked at Yamato in surprise. Yamato put his arm around Taichi comfortingly. "Davis looks up to you, he always has. It's all together possible that he would have gone to you for advice anyway, whether you were with me or not. We'll deal with Davis when we come to it. I'm sure he'll understand."
"But what if —" Taichi's worried argument was cut off.
"Tai, that advice you gave Davis came from your heart out of concern for him. He knows that and he'll understand even if he finds out that you lied to him about our relationship." Yamato frowned suddenly. "Actually, you didn't lie about it. Sora did."
"Yeah. I'm actually a bit annoyed that she told everyone, but didn't tell them about the bet."
"Well, we could have."
"I guess, but I think we were too caught up in the fun of deceiving everyone." Taichi sighed and shifted around in Yamato's embrace so that he leaned back against his chest. He looked out over the lake and the park and the city in the background still feeling quite upset. "I don't know what it is Yama, but something's still bugging me about this."
"Don't worry Tai, I'm sure it's nothing."
"I hope you're right." He snuggled back further into Yamato and let his eyes droop a bit. Yamato leaned back slightly to hold Taichi better and he put his other arm around his friend, sensing that comfort was still needed.
"So do I Taichi."
