Title: A Four Saturdays Detention (4/?)
Author name : smoke
Category : Romance
Keywords : Hermione Granger Draco Malfoy
Spoilers : All The Books/All Four Books
Rating : PG 13
Summary : Hermione finally talks.
Disclaimer : This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Thanks : Of course to Quinn.
And, of course, to everyone who had the patience to write me a review.
Personal notes: not betaed. I swear In this fortnight I'll fix, format and upload the betaed parts... I am really too slack, sorry!
Chapter 8 - Third Saturday
Hermione talks
Hermione took a deep breath: "I think that the first part of your justification is really dumb."
"Wow! Interesting beginning..."
"Yes, it makes me laugh; your rants are the rants an immature little boy would do. Listen, I can understand that some rules are tight for you, but I really fail to understand why you complain so much.
Do you want to become a wizard? A trained wizard? Then, come to Hogwarts.
If in this country there were other places, maybe more comfortable, or that you could get in a much easier way from your home, or schools with less rules, or whose rules fitted better your reckless personality, or, perhaps, if you could find a cheaper place, well, in this case you'd have a whole range of choices. You could change school, why not?
But, today, and now, you don't have such choices.
You have only one simple choice behind your eyes: or you wish to become a wizard, or you do not wish it.
If you choose the wizard future, then you have Hogwarts, a boarding school, with all its advantages and drawbacks.
And you had another choice not everyone here had. You are a privileged boy: your family is very rich, I am sure you could have afforded home tuition.
Anyway, if you do not choose the wizard future, then go do something different: the world is full of Muggle schools of every kind, price and tradition.
More, I'd like to draw your attention to a simple point: the letter from Hogwarts is only an acceptance letter. It only says you can enrol this school. It doesn't state at all that if you choose otherwise you'll be punished with death, or torture. So, you could simply answer 'No, thank you.'.
Therefore, if you are here, you are here because you did a choice, whose terms you knew very well.
More over, seen you were so eager to point out this detail: you are a Pureblood. It means your parents were both here, and your grandparents, and all your Slytherinish Pureblood family, probably..."
Draco sneered. "So, what?"
Hermione went on: "So, you could listen to the experience of all these relatives, and you could know perfectly what you might expect from this school. You had the privilege to do a choice with your eyes perfectly open.
Much better than a Mudblood could do, a Mudblood who, just to make an example, had no experience at all of this world. Neither a second-hand one.
Therefore, after you did your choice, you have no right to complain in such a childish way."
She halted, quietly, to detect his reactions; Draco was blushing. She had a mischievous grin; she had the impression he found harder being called "childish" than "arrogant bastard".
After a while he drawled, feigning indifference "I see... so here we have the strong woman, who bears everything in silence, teaching wise life lessons to the little pampered weak child..."
"I don't think "strong" is the right adjective. But "mature", maybe, would fit."
"Oh, so modesty doesn't suit you, neither, apparently..."
Now it was her turn to blush, stiffened.
"Dear Ms Granger, I want to tell you a little anecdote... Do you know what the 'diritto al mugugno' is ?"
She shook her head and looked at him interested.
"Well the literal translation is 'right of complaint', the 'mugugno' is a grumbling mumble. You know the noise a pot of beans might do, while boiling in the fireplace? A continuous husky, low, noise, modulating between a growl and a groan? Well, the mugugno is exactly that.
In the old navy of Genova, there was a tradition that lasted till the beginning of XX century, concerning every sailor, but that started with the sailors from Camogli. Once upon a time they were considered the best sailors of the whole world.
When a sailor chose to board on a ship, under a captain, he had the right to ask, in his contract, to have the 'diritto al mugugno', the right to complain. And generally he was accorded this right: it was a tradition. They could growl while executing an order.
Therefore, the sailor was doing his job, the job he had been paid for, as they agreed, but he had the right to mumble, while doing it, as much as he liked, if he thought the order was wrong."
Hermione chuckled, amused "Not bad, as right..."
"Not bad at all, because it warrantees something really precious: your holy right to perceive that the world is not exactly as you would like it. Your holy right not to be obliged to act as you did not perceive it, as you were dumb, and that's worse, I hope you will agree with me. And the right to understand you are bored.
And frankly, I do not think that the using these three simple rights is childish. Just human. I refuse to consider myself as a person without conscience of myself, someone always happy to do his duty, just because it is a duty.
On the other hand, seen you pointed out this detail, you spied on my marks; you admitted it.
So, you know very well, that I did my job, the job my enrolling at Howgarts implied. And I did it very well..."
"All right: you studied your school subjects.
To me, it sounds like a rather normal behaviour, studying, I mean, and doing my duty, but maybe for you, it was a bit more difficult task...
And, finally, and you admit it yourself, your studying is for yourself, for your own good... the better you do, the better for you. Certainly not for me.
Anyway, you are not completely childish, I can concede this is true. And, maybe, you might have the right to complain a bit, but not as you do. You act as you were perfectly right! And as if your point of view was the only possible one. Or the smartest one, and that's worse, I hope you will agree with me..."
She halted to take a breath and looked at him, but he was not angry, simply interested. At least that's what she could make out from his expression.
She went on, still placid: "And about your ... tale of your nocturnal meetings with... how did you call the girls? Inviting morsels as longing as you are? Well, I know very well it was just a story you put up to make me hold my breath. Me, the Gryffindor puritan Mudblood Know-It-All, you never agree with."
He burst out laughing, and she, a while after, joined him.
"Ok, Granger, I apologise for my tale... I did not think you would have felt upset."
"Well, that tale was a completely dumb tale..."
He raised an eyebrow: "Are you sure?"
Hermione blushed: he was back at ease now, and he had his usual Crooksanks style expression... she felt nervous.
"Well, what I mean is that it is really so reductive that your wish of freedom is just centred on a night with a girl. It is so... so little, in my opinion.
And, listen to me, please, I said little, I didn't say "zero". I am human too, not a device who eats books and spits out good marks, more over, well, after these two Saturdays I spent with you I faced something about myself."
He looked at her with curiosity: "What do you mean?"
"Please, try to understand, I am aware I accepted to spend these Saturdays with you freely: I could simply do otherwise and never climb that staircase.
You never forced me in any way.
Maybe I am not always fair with you, it costs me a bit to admit it... but I appreciated you behaviour... before... when I ... well, sort of panicked... you know what I mean.
You could have been... different. Right or wrong, you could have been."
She dropped her glance, then she went on: "And, believe me, I have no intention to present you any bill, at the end of these Saturdays. I do not owe you anything, and you do not owe me anything.
There is nothing I could ever exact.
I could never do it, I must not, and I, frankly, I do not want to, as well..."
"Ok, Granger, do not worry, I got this point. Perfectly." He cut in dryly.
They looked at each other attentively. Malfoy nodded and said "So...? What do you want to tell me about these two Saturdays?"
"Malfoy, after these two Saturdays, if I'd act as I didn't understand that feeling wished is... nice, or that it is a warming sensation to have a human contact, besides the simple student-professor relationship, or the student-student one, besides homework, essays, and the usual comments about the Quidditch match, I always do not understand a damn about... well, if I'd pretend this way, I'd be just an hypocrite."
Draco sneered "This was better than Quidditch, then...", he chuckled briefly, "...human contact... Literally accurate, I dare say, as definition... You never miss your peculiar Top of the Class little touch whatever you are speaking about..."
Hermione blushed. Again. "Ok, it would sound better to you if I'd call this... 'thing'... hormonal euphoria?"
Malfoy looked at her attentively: "Hormonal euphoria, on my humble opinion, is something slightly different.
I would not feel disappointed, if you asked me to share it, this hormonal euphoria you don't know very well, with you, by the way. In case you had not understood my ... readiness. Yet.
But, for this... 'thing'... I might say that 'human contact', or 'allegro ma non troppo' - 'allegro' but not too much, I do not know if you are familiar with music vocabulary - would be more suitable than an euphoria.
Anyway, why this research for the right word? Are you planning to write an essay for Professor McGonagall on this experience?"
She blushed: "Do you want me to go on?"
"I would be delighted... you are so quiet generally..."
"In this case, if you would deign to shut up for a while, you would be a precious help."
He smiled to her, amused, and bowed ceremoniously.
"Well, on a point, I must agree with you, you are right; if this school wasn't a boarding school, we all would taste more freedom.
I can see the things from your point of view: you could go back home after classes, and you'd spend your free time with those you like. You would never stumble on Ron, Harry, or on a Mudblood, like me. You could dodge all of us, so easily, knowing only the people who are just like you are.
And you could spend your Saturdays as you like, without having to do everything on secret. No sneaky ways: most of things that now are forbidden, would be easier, even normal; the limits of your freedom would be just a family matter, between you and your parents. School would never be involved in other aspects of your life, other than your marks, I mean. What you would do in an unguarded tower would be your own business..."
Draco smiled amused: "A dumb tale, I agree, but you were impressed, I dare say."
Hermine stiffened: "You want me to go on or what?"
"Please, do not let my silly remarks interfere in any way..."
She gave him a very bad look, and, then, she went on: "Maybe, this way, you could have used your broomstick since the first year, while, here, you were forbidden by school rules.
And, maybe, poor Harry would have never flied, and his life would have simply gone on, like his usual hell. No Nimbus 2000, no Firebolt, no Wronski Feints. No break from the Dursleys for the whole school year. Poor Harry, really. Learning to be a wizard, but still forced to live in that horrible way.
I could never envy him his childhood.
And, as far as I am concerned, well, don't think I never wondered about all this, maybe I could do other things. There are so many activities, Muggle people consider normal, part of their everyday life, and I am completely cut out from them. I quite neither know some of them anymore.
I see a swimming pool only during summer vacation. I can never hear the music I liked, and there are some nights where I would simply like to go to a cinema, just to look at a stupid movie, sink in a chair and eat an ice cream, forgetting everything else, as I did when I was a kid, but it is simply impossible.
And you know I never saw an interactive CD-ROM? And I would like so much to see one... And electricity? I miss electricity so much, can you believe me? I cannot read till late, at night, only with my candle: there are certain evenings, that, when I finally go to bed, it is really too dark to read a bit more, and my eyes hurt. I close them, but they still smart.
All silly things, I understand it very well. But I miss them."
He nodded slowly. "So you are agreeing with me. Therefore, now, I am sure you will tell me there is a 'but'... Let's listen to your 'but'."
"Well, Malfoy, actually, I have more than one 'but', and, try to understand me, I am examining all the sides of this matter only now, with you, so don't expect a perfect reasoning from me!"
He had a nonchalant gesture of the hand "I am not going to look for the tiniest flaws in your believes. Besides, I have no intention to give you a mark, at the end, like it was an essay... feeling better?"
"Well, I think that we all belong to the same community, but, at the same time, we all come from different experiences, different families.
And Hogwarts, with its ancient, even antiquated structure, gives us the strange advantage we are all forced to live together.
You do not have all the Pureblood people somewhere, the Mudblood somewhere else, and the Muggleborn in another place.
Neither you have a dedicated structure for rich people, then another for middle class students, and then a different one for the poorest members of the wizarding society.
We are all mixed, and somehow constrained to crash continuously one into the other.
It is right you are forced to face Ron, or to listen to his ideas. And not only about Quidditch. It could be good for you; Arthur Weasley is a very good man, by the way, and a really wonderful father... so caring.
And somehow, it was right I was forced to meet you. I do not like it when you call me Mudblood. Not a bit. But maybe it was right I had the chance to meet here someone like you. There are other people like you, outside, and I cannot close my eyes behind this evidence, only because I do not like it.
Or maybe even Snape, look, I thought back about what you said about him during our first Saturday..."
Hermione blushed while saying "our". 'It was not our at all, it was just a Saturday, but why on earth did I have to say "our"? Why do I have to behave like a silly ditz? I do not want other Saturdays with Malfoy! No more than those we agreed about!'
She was feeling ashamed.
Draco stroked her arm: "Don't stop now, I am listening to you, believe me."
"Well, maybe, when we do not have all the things in our life so easy, or perfect, or always polite, as they would be in our expectations, then we learn how to survive an unpleasant speech, and maybe we even learn how to handle a conflict situation. Even if the words the other one use with us, may make us feel insulted, or hurt.
Of course you must have certain limits you ought not to trespass, otherwise from a conflict situation, you simple end in an abusive situation.
Maybe with these conflicts, you might learn how to say a no to a behaviour you dislike, or simply you could understand how to manage them with the least moral damage.
Any kind of sport has a training activity. And fight is a sport as well."
She looked at him shyly... what she was saying had any sense to him?
He nodded, surprised, "Yes, I agree with you. Theoretically. In practice, about all these meetings/crashes between members of different Houses, because here the main borderlines are the Houses, let's face it, well I 'd have something to say about them. Or, better, nothing to say. Because, simply, often they simply do not happen.
Anyway, you told me you had other but's, and I would like to listen to them."
"My second objection is that Hogwarts forces all of us to be peers, at least for a while. The Malfoy Manor and the Burrow are far away: here everybody has the same space, available for himself, we can read the same books, and more or less we share the same opportunities.
Every student has the right to access the whole library, well, not the restricted sections of course, but, anyway, we are speaking of tons of books. Independently from the number of books you might have at home, here, you can browse freely among shelves and shelves... And Madam Pince can help you find whatever you are looking for.
You can develop an interest in whatever branch of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and you will have the opportunity to rummage as you please in the best books about those subjects. Freely.
Every student can use the Quidditch Pitch. A wide space to fly, play or train yourself, if you wish it.
And every student, if he has the courage to face the Professor Snape's angelic personality can work in the dungeons, at his own potions, if he wishes.
Everything at hand, everything for you, independently from your parents' Gringott bank account... If you think about all this for a while, not taking it for granted, well, it is simply amazing.
Maybe for you it is normal. I never saw your Manor, maybe you would have a larger room, and a personal bathroom... Maybe you have a wide place where you can fly at home. Maybe you have at home a lot of other interesting tricks.
But I bet you cannot have a library like this, and brilliant adults like our Professors to discuss with. And the people, of course.
Besides, if for someone who is poor it is a relief to be able to live without the so many personal limitations he has at home, for someone as spoiled as you are it is good to taste a limitation, for once in your life.
Maybe, this way, you could finally understand why it was so mean to mock Ron for his formal dress, that maroon disgusting cloth, on the train. That time I would have liked to hex you till I saw you bleeding.
If you had been different, that dress would have been simply invisible to your eyes. While it would have been acceptable, even funny to tease him about hhim being slack, or about his so antiquated prudery.
I really found horrible when your father presented a Nimbus 2001 to the whole Slytherin Quidditch Team.
Maybe you are right when you say I burn a possibility to Neville when I help him. I hear your words, by the way, maybe my skull is thick, maybe I run as fast as an arrow, but I'm trying to listen to you, on these Saturdays, believe me. Even when you hurt me, and make me grow angry, with your opinions.
But what your father did was ten times much worse.
Your money comes from your family, not from your personal efforts... it is right you have a place where you are forced to live and compete with everyone else as a peer... you'll have a whole life to enjoy your privileges.
It is good you have to work hard on the things you want. Good to your character, I mean. It would help you to understand what's due to you for your personal qualities, what's due for your hard work, and what simply for birth rights. And what is simple luck, because there's luck too, in life.
An adult must face a world larger than his inner family circle.
I'd prize such experience, if I were you.
And, one last thing, here, as far as possible, you have no parents spoiling their children, or invisible parents. Whatever your family might be, here you are not different from anyone else. Same rules, same duties, same rights. Of course, same loneliness, I know it.
But this is not the real special thing about Hogwarts. The special one I'll tell you later."
Hermione halted to breath, feeling suddenly shy; she looked at him, but Draco was nodding slowly not looking into her eyes.
She hesitantly put her hand on his shoulder.
Author name : smoke
Category : Romance
Keywords : Hermione Granger Draco Malfoy
Spoilers : All The Books/All Four Books
Rating : PG 13
Summary : Hermione finally talks.
Disclaimer : This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Thanks : Of course to Quinn.
And, of course, to everyone who had the patience to write me a review.
Personal notes: not betaed. I swear In this fortnight I'll fix, format and upload the betaed parts... I am really too slack, sorry!
Chapter 8 - Third Saturday
Hermione talks
Hermione took a deep breath: "I think that the first part of your justification is really dumb."
"Wow! Interesting beginning..."
"Yes, it makes me laugh; your rants are the rants an immature little boy would do. Listen, I can understand that some rules are tight for you, but I really fail to understand why you complain so much.
Do you want to become a wizard? A trained wizard? Then, come to Hogwarts.
If in this country there were other places, maybe more comfortable, or that you could get in a much easier way from your home, or schools with less rules, or whose rules fitted better your reckless personality, or, perhaps, if you could find a cheaper place, well, in this case you'd have a whole range of choices. You could change school, why not?
But, today, and now, you don't have such choices.
You have only one simple choice behind your eyes: or you wish to become a wizard, or you do not wish it.
If you choose the wizard future, then you have Hogwarts, a boarding school, with all its advantages and drawbacks.
And you had another choice not everyone here had. You are a privileged boy: your family is very rich, I am sure you could have afforded home tuition.
Anyway, if you do not choose the wizard future, then go do something different: the world is full of Muggle schools of every kind, price and tradition.
More, I'd like to draw your attention to a simple point: the letter from Hogwarts is only an acceptance letter. It only says you can enrol this school. It doesn't state at all that if you choose otherwise you'll be punished with death, or torture. So, you could simply answer 'No, thank you.'.
Therefore, if you are here, you are here because you did a choice, whose terms you knew very well.
More over, seen you were so eager to point out this detail: you are a Pureblood. It means your parents were both here, and your grandparents, and all your Slytherinish Pureblood family, probably..."
Draco sneered. "So, what?"
Hermione went on: "So, you could listen to the experience of all these relatives, and you could know perfectly what you might expect from this school. You had the privilege to do a choice with your eyes perfectly open.
Much better than a Mudblood could do, a Mudblood who, just to make an example, had no experience at all of this world. Neither a second-hand one.
Therefore, after you did your choice, you have no right to complain in such a childish way."
She halted, quietly, to detect his reactions; Draco was blushing. She had a mischievous grin; she had the impression he found harder being called "childish" than "arrogant bastard".
After a while he drawled, feigning indifference "I see... so here we have the strong woman, who bears everything in silence, teaching wise life lessons to the little pampered weak child..."
"I don't think "strong" is the right adjective. But "mature", maybe, would fit."
"Oh, so modesty doesn't suit you, neither, apparently..."
Now it was her turn to blush, stiffened.
"Dear Ms Granger, I want to tell you a little anecdote... Do you know what the 'diritto al mugugno' is ?"
She shook her head and looked at him interested.
"Well the literal translation is 'right of complaint', the 'mugugno' is a grumbling mumble. You know the noise a pot of beans might do, while boiling in the fireplace? A continuous husky, low, noise, modulating between a growl and a groan? Well, the mugugno is exactly that.
In the old navy of Genova, there was a tradition that lasted till the beginning of XX century, concerning every sailor, but that started with the sailors from Camogli. Once upon a time they were considered the best sailors of the whole world.
When a sailor chose to board on a ship, under a captain, he had the right to ask, in his contract, to have the 'diritto al mugugno', the right to complain. And generally he was accorded this right: it was a tradition. They could growl while executing an order.
Therefore, the sailor was doing his job, the job he had been paid for, as they agreed, but he had the right to mumble, while doing it, as much as he liked, if he thought the order was wrong."
Hermione chuckled, amused "Not bad, as right..."
"Not bad at all, because it warrantees something really precious: your holy right to perceive that the world is not exactly as you would like it. Your holy right not to be obliged to act as you did not perceive it, as you were dumb, and that's worse, I hope you will agree with me. And the right to understand you are bored.
And frankly, I do not think that the using these three simple rights is childish. Just human. I refuse to consider myself as a person without conscience of myself, someone always happy to do his duty, just because it is a duty.
On the other hand, seen you pointed out this detail, you spied on my marks; you admitted it.
So, you know very well, that I did my job, the job my enrolling at Howgarts implied. And I did it very well..."
"All right: you studied your school subjects.
To me, it sounds like a rather normal behaviour, studying, I mean, and doing my duty, but maybe for you, it was a bit more difficult task...
And, finally, and you admit it yourself, your studying is for yourself, for your own good... the better you do, the better for you. Certainly not for me.
Anyway, you are not completely childish, I can concede this is true. And, maybe, you might have the right to complain a bit, but not as you do. You act as you were perfectly right! And as if your point of view was the only possible one. Or the smartest one, and that's worse, I hope you will agree with me..."
She halted to take a breath and looked at him, but he was not angry, simply interested. At least that's what she could make out from his expression.
She went on, still placid: "And about your ... tale of your nocturnal meetings with... how did you call the girls? Inviting morsels as longing as you are? Well, I know very well it was just a story you put up to make me hold my breath. Me, the Gryffindor puritan Mudblood Know-It-All, you never agree with."
He burst out laughing, and she, a while after, joined him.
"Ok, Granger, I apologise for my tale... I did not think you would have felt upset."
"Well, that tale was a completely dumb tale..."
He raised an eyebrow: "Are you sure?"
Hermione blushed: he was back at ease now, and he had his usual Crooksanks style expression... she felt nervous.
"Well, what I mean is that it is really so reductive that your wish of freedom is just centred on a night with a girl. It is so... so little, in my opinion.
And, listen to me, please, I said little, I didn't say "zero". I am human too, not a device who eats books and spits out good marks, more over, well, after these two Saturdays I spent with you I faced something about myself."
He looked at her with curiosity: "What do you mean?"
"Please, try to understand, I am aware I accepted to spend these Saturdays with you freely: I could simply do otherwise and never climb that staircase.
You never forced me in any way.
Maybe I am not always fair with you, it costs me a bit to admit it... but I appreciated you behaviour... before... when I ... well, sort of panicked... you know what I mean.
You could have been... different. Right or wrong, you could have been."
She dropped her glance, then she went on: "And, believe me, I have no intention to present you any bill, at the end of these Saturdays. I do not owe you anything, and you do not owe me anything.
There is nothing I could ever exact.
I could never do it, I must not, and I, frankly, I do not want to, as well..."
"Ok, Granger, do not worry, I got this point. Perfectly." He cut in dryly.
They looked at each other attentively. Malfoy nodded and said "So...? What do you want to tell me about these two Saturdays?"
"Malfoy, after these two Saturdays, if I'd act as I didn't understand that feeling wished is... nice, or that it is a warming sensation to have a human contact, besides the simple student-professor relationship, or the student-student one, besides homework, essays, and the usual comments about the Quidditch match, I always do not understand a damn about... well, if I'd pretend this way, I'd be just an hypocrite."
Draco sneered "This was better than Quidditch, then...", he chuckled briefly, "...human contact... Literally accurate, I dare say, as definition... You never miss your peculiar Top of the Class little touch whatever you are speaking about..."
Hermione blushed. Again. "Ok, it would sound better to you if I'd call this... 'thing'... hormonal euphoria?"
Malfoy looked at her attentively: "Hormonal euphoria, on my humble opinion, is something slightly different.
I would not feel disappointed, if you asked me to share it, this hormonal euphoria you don't know very well, with you, by the way. In case you had not understood my ... readiness. Yet.
But, for this... 'thing'... I might say that 'human contact', or 'allegro ma non troppo' - 'allegro' but not too much, I do not know if you are familiar with music vocabulary - would be more suitable than an euphoria.
Anyway, why this research for the right word? Are you planning to write an essay for Professor McGonagall on this experience?"
She blushed: "Do you want me to go on?"
"I would be delighted... you are so quiet generally..."
"In this case, if you would deign to shut up for a while, you would be a precious help."
He smiled to her, amused, and bowed ceremoniously.
"Well, on a point, I must agree with you, you are right; if this school wasn't a boarding school, we all would taste more freedom.
I can see the things from your point of view: you could go back home after classes, and you'd spend your free time with those you like. You would never stumble on Ron, Harry, or on a Mudblood, like me. You could dodge all of us, so easily, knowing only the people who are just like you are.
And you could spend your Saturdays as you like, without having to do everything on secret. No sneaky ways: most of things that now are forbidden, would be easier, even normal; the limits of your freedom would be just a family matter, between you and your parents. School would never be involved in other aspects of your life, other than your marks, I mean. What you would do in an unguarded tower would be your own business..."
Draco smiled amused: "A dumb tale, I agree, but you were impressed, I dare say."
Hermine stiffened: "You want me to go on or what?"
"Please, do not let my silly remarks interfere in any way..."
She gave him a very bad look, and, then, she went on: "Maybe, this way, you could have used your broomstick since the first year, while, here, you were forbidden by school rules.
And, maybe, poor Harry would have never flied, and his life would have simply gone on, like his usual hell. No Nimbus 2000, no Firebolt, no Wronski Feints. No break from the Dursleys for the whole school year. Poor Harry, really. Learning to be a wizard, but still forced to live in that horrible way.
I could never envy him his childhood.
And, as far as I am concerned, well, don't think I never wondered about all this, maybe I could do other things. There are so many activities, Muggle people consider normal, part of their everyday life, and I am completely cut out from them. I quite neither know some of them anymore.
I see a swimming pool only during summer vacation. I can never hear the music I liked, and there are some nights where I would simply like to go to a cinema, just to look at a stupid movie, sink in a chair and eat an ice cream, forgetting everything else, as I did when I was a kid, but it is simply impossible.
And you know I never saw an interactive CD-ROM? And I would like so much to see one... And electricity? I miss electricity so much, can you believe me? I cannot read till late, at night, only with my candle: there are certain evenings, that, when I finally go to bed, it is really too dark to read a bit more, and my eyes hurt. I close them, but they still smart.
All silly things, I understand it very well. But I miss them."
He nodded slowly. "So you are agreeing with me. Therefore, now, I am sure you will tell me there is a 'but'... Let's listen to your 'but'."
"Well, Malfoy, actually, I have more than one 'but', and, try to understand me, I am examining all the sides of this matter only now, with you, so don't expect a perfect reasoning from me!"
He had a nonchalant gesture of the hand "I am not going to look for the tiniest flaws in your believes. Besides, I have no intention to give you a mark, at the end, like it was an essay... feeling better?"
"Well, I think that we all belong to the same community, but, at the same time, we all come from different experiences, different families.
And Hogwarts, with its ancient, even antiquated structure, gives us the strange advantage we are all forced to live together.
You do not have all the Pureblood people somewhere, the Mudblood somewhere else, and the Muggleborn in another place.
Neither you have a dedicated structure for rich people, then another for middle class students, and then a different one for the poorest members of the wizarding society.
We are all mixed, and somehow constrained to crash continuously one into the other.
It is right you are forced to face Ron, or to listen to his ideas. And not only about Quidditch. It could be good for you; Arthur Weasley is a very good man, by the way, and a really wonderful father... so caring.
And somehow, it was right I was forced to meet you. I do not like it when you call me Mudblood. Not a bit. But maybe it was right I had the chance to meet here someone like you. There are other people like you, outside, and I cannot close my eyes behind this evidence, only because I do not like it.
Or maybe even Snape, look, I thought back about what you said about him during our first Saturday..."
Hermione blushed while saying "our". 'It was not our at all, it was just a Saturday, but why on earth did I have to say "our"? Why do I have to behave like a silly ditz? I do not want other Saturdays with Malfoy! No more than those we agreed about!'
She was feeling ashamed.
Draco stroked her arm: "Don't stop now, I am listening to you, believe me."
"Well, maybe, when we do not have all the things in our life so easy, or perfect, or always polite, as they would be in our expectations, then we learn how to survive an unpleasant speech, and maybe we even learn how to handle a conflict situation. Even if the words the other one use with us, may make us feel insulted, or hurt.
Of course you must have certain limits you ought not to trespass, otherwise from a conflict situation, you simple end in an abusive situation.
Maybe with these conflicts, you might learn how to say a no to a behaviour you dislike, or simply you could understand how to manage them with the least moral damage.
Any kind of sport has a training activity. And fight is a sport as well."
She looked at him shyly... what she was saying had any sense to him?
He nodded, surprised, "Yes, I agree with you. Theoretically. In practice, about all these meetings/crashes between members of different Houses, because here the main borderlines are the Houses, let's face it, well I 'd have something to say about them. Or, better, nothing to say. Because, simply, often they simply do not happen.
Anyway, you told me you had other but's, and I would like to listen to them."
"My second objection is that Hogwarts forces all of us to be peers, at least for a while. The Malfoy Manor and the Burrow are far away: here everybody has the same space, available for himself, we can read the same books, and more or less we share the same opportunities.
Every student has the right to access the whole library, well, not the restricted sections of course, but, anyway, we are speaking of tons of books. Independently from the number of books you might have at home, here, you can browse freely among shelves and shelves... And Madam Pince can help you find whatever you are looking for.
You can develop an interest in whatever branch of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and you will have the opportunity to rummage as you please in the best books about those subjects. Freely.
Every student can use the Quidditch Pitch. A wide space to fly, play or train yourself, if you wish it.
And every student, if he has the courage to face the Professor Snape's angelic personality can work in the dungeons, at his own potions, if he wishes.
Everything at hand, everything for you, independently from your parents' Gringott bank account... If you think about all this for a while, not taking it for granted, well, it is simply amazing.
Maybe for you it is normal. I never saw your Manor, maybe you would have a larger room, and a personal bathroom... Maybe you have a wide place where you can fly at home. Maybe you have at home a lot of other interesting tricks.
But I bet you cannot have a library like this, and brilliant adults like our Professors to discuss with. And the people, of course.
Besides, if for someone who is poor it is a relief to be able to live without the so many personal limitations he has at home, for someone as spoiled as you are it is good to taste a limitation, for once in your life.
Maybe, this way, you could finally understand why it was so mean to mock Ron for his formal dress, that maroon disgusting cloth, on the train. That time I would have liked to hex you till I saw you bleeding.
If you had been different, that dress would have been simply invisible to your eyes. While it would have been acceptable, even funny to tease him about hhim being slack, or about his so antiquated prudery.
I really found horrible when your father presented a Nimbus 2001 to the whole Slytherin Quidditch Team.
Maybe you are right when you say I burn a possibility to Neville when I help him. I hear your words, by the way, maybe my skull is thick, maybe I run as fast as an arrow, but I'm trying to listen to you, on these Saturdays, believe me. Even when you hurt me, and make me grow angry, with your opinions.
But what your father did was ten times much worse.
Your money comes from your family, not from your personal efforts... it is right you have a place where you are forced to live and compete with everyone else as a peer... you'll have a whole life to enjoy your privileges.
It is good you have to work hard on the things you want. Good to your character, I mean. It would help you to understand what's due to you for your personal qualities, what's due for your hard work, and what simply for birth rights. And what is simple luck, because there's luck too, in life.
An adult must face a world larger than his inner family circle.
I'd prize such experience, if I were you.
And, one last thing, here, as far as possible, you have no parents spoiling their children, or invisible parents. Whatever your family might be, here you are not different from anyone else. Same rules, same duties, same rights. Of course, same loneliness, I know it.
But this is not the real special thing about Hogwarts. The special one I'll tell you later."
Hermione halted to breath, feeling suddenly shy; she looked at him, but Draco was nodding slowly not looking into her eyes.
She hesitantly put her hand on his shoulder.
