CHAPTER 2: RON AND HERMS' WACKY WEDDING
While Harry was flying on his Nimbus 9999 ½, he suddenly remembered that he wasn't allowed to do magic outside Hogwarts. He wondered if flying on a broom while every single Muggle down there could see him was illegal. His question was answered when he noticed that he was followed by 6 agents of the Ministry!
What followed was a wicked chase, in which Harry had to fly through clouds and do double spins and loopings to avoid the agents. Harry grabbed his wand and tried to magically stop his followers, but he couldn't think of a decent spell. But suddenly, he remembered a spell that he used to use during his EVIL days. He didn't like to use it, but it was his only choice!
"Usetheforcus!", Harry shouted, and out of his wand came two bundles of red light. He now had a magical Lightsaber! He landed on an open space in a forest and showed his EVIL lightsaber to the agents of the Ministry. But what Harry didn't expect, was that they had also lightsaber-wands, just like him! "We're the Special Jedi Forces from the Ministry of Magic!", the agents said. "We're here to arrest you, even if you're the savior of the world! SURRENDER OR FACE YOUR DESTINY!" Quickly, they started a battle, in which Harry had to use all his powers to stay alive. To his great surprise, Harry wasn't so bad in this lightsaber thing, and he quickly defeated two or three Special Jedi Agents. "Oh no! Darth Potter has beaten Bami-Zwan and Anniekins! We're doomed now! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" The 4 Jedi decided to run away as fast as they could, but quickly, Harry could catch them with his Fishing-net-spell. "You're not going anywhere, dudes!", said Harry. "Now, I will . . . erase your memories! I don't want anymore trouble with the ministry again!" "Okay, Harry Potter sir, just don't kill us!", begged the Jedi knights. Harry erased their memories with an "Obliviate"-spell and then released the Jedi. Then, as quickly as he could, he jumped on his Nimbus 9999 ½, and changed his Lightsaber back into a casual wand. He flew away and tried to forget everything. He had to have a good mood when his 2 friends were marrying!
After a long flight, in which nothing happened that was worth mentioning, Harry finally came to the Burrow. He'd long forget the incident with the Special Jedi Forces. He landed on the Weasley garden and burst into the Burrow. "HEYYY EVERYONE!", he said. The Weasleys, who were eating in their kitchen, stared at Harry. "Don't you remember me? I'm Harry! Harry Potter!" The Weasleys still stared at him. "Harry Potter! The Boy Who Lived, remember? The dorky guy with a large scar and messy hair?" The Weasleys thought for a minute. Suddenly, they remembered. "Harry dear!", said Mrs. Weasley, and she hugged Harry so tightly that he almost lost breath. "What a nice surprise! We were looking forward to see you again! We were talking about you all day - er, what was your name again?" "Harold James Edwardius Potter the Second", said Harry. "But I guess you can call me Harry."
Somewhat later, the whole Weasley family (including Harry and Hermione) were eating dinner. "Oh, by the way, Ronald and Herms", said Harry, "Congratulations with your particularly early engagement! Can I still be your best man?" "Of course, me ol' mate!", said Ron, shining with pride. "Who would we choose else?" "Fine", said Harry. "By the way, when are you two marrying exactly?" "Oh, sometime after dinner", said Hermione casually. Harry fell out of his chair. "What's wrong with him?", asked Fred and George. "Oh, maybe he has eaten something weird at the Dursleys'", said Ron. The Weasley family continued eating, not minding Harry, who was now out of consciousness.
After dinner, Harry was woken with some ice cold water. "AAARGH! Save me, Mr. Teddy! I'm drowning!" He opened his eyes. "Er . . . hiya Ron! What am I doing here?" "You were screaming for your teddy bear", laughed Ron. "Stop laughing, Freckleface!", said Harry whiny. "It's not funny! If you don't stop, I won't be your best man anymore!" "Oh yeah, I almost forgot, I'm marrying soon", said Ron. "I actually came to give you the ring I've made - er, bought Hermione. In a few minutes, when the ceremony begins, you'll hand me over the ring, okay?" "That's okay with me", said Harry. "So, where is this ring actually?" Ron showed him a thin, twisted piece of metal that was painted gold and had a shiny little stone on it. "Is that everything?", asked Harry. "Look, I didn't have the money to buy an expensive ring, okay? The only thing I could buy was a piece of metal wire, some gold paint and a weird little stone. . . and I think it looks rather nice! So don't whine and take that ring!" They then heard an organ play. "Oh my! The wedding's going to begin! Lucky that I put on my best wedding robe on!" Harry now saw that Ron had on a very old, big, silvery robe. "It belonged to my father", said Ron, a bit blushing. "Good that he was quite a small person when he married, otherwise it would be way to big! But now, I'll go and become the youngest fictional character to ever get married!" Harry and Ron went outside.
When our junior groom and best man came outside, a small crowd was waiting for them. In the middle of the garden stood an altar, where Hermione, Ginny and a priest were standing. Ron was suddenly all quivery when he saw Hermione in a wedding dress. "Relax Ron . . . take a deep breath . . .", Harry said. Ron then began to breathe so abnormally loud that he sounded like Darth Vader. When this happened, Fred and George, who were playing the organ, changed their repertoire from a wedding tune into the Imperial March from Star Wars. "Stop that, will you!", yelled Ron, and quickly Fred and George were playing the usual wedding march again.
"Oookay . . . walk straight to the altar . . . slowly . . . slowly", said Harry. With this, Ron began sprinting to the altar, almost knocking Harry over. "Can we begin now?", said Ron impatiently when he stood at the altar. "You're surely fast with everything, Weasley", said the priest, with a grim look on his face. Suddenly, everybody recognized him . . . the priest was no one less than Severus Snape!
"What are you doing here?", asked Ron in disbelief. "I'm leading your marriage ceremony, Weasley", said Snape. "Believe me, if I had a choice, I wouldn't be standing here, but being a Potions teacher doesn't bring nearly enough money for a living. And now be a nice groom, or else I'll take 20 points of Gryffindor for being brutal to the ceremony manager!" "What's a ceremony manager?", asked Ron. "That's a modern word for priest, you idiot", said Snape. "Now, let's begin this abominable marriage!
We're here today to bla bla bla, blabbity blabbity bla. Okay, now we have that out of our systems, will the best man and woman, Mister Harold James Edwardius Potter the Second and Miss Virginia California Weasley, now hand over the rings please!" Harry and Ginny gave the rings to Hermione and Ron. "Okay, now put your rings on and a bit quickly! I'm almost too late for my extra job at the McDonalds!" Hermione and Ron put on their rings. "I couldn't make - er, buy a better one", whispered Ron. "It's all right", said Hermione grinning. "Your ring is - er . . . very sweet." "Don't whisper in front of your Potions Professor!", said Snape. "If I'd not be such a swell bloke, I'd take very, very much points from Gryffindor! You're lucky you're marrying, Granger and Weasley! Okay, and now you have your rings and the ceremony is almost done, I pronounce you husband and wife! And . . . er . . . oh, I can't believe I'm saying this . . . you may now kiss . . . the bride . . . if you think that's necessary."
Snape didn't have to say that twice, as Ron and Hermione immediately started snogging like never seen. "Somebody please hit me", said Snape when he had to watch this, and he also didn't have to say THAT twice - Ginny Weasley gave him a good whack on the head with a book entitled "Being Best Man/Best Woman for Dummies". Everyone then celebrated the fact that Ron and Herms finally had found eachother, except for Severus Snape, who was now lying on the ground while he was having sweet dreams of chirping little birdies flying around him . . .
THE END . . . OF THIS CHAPTER
I know it, Ron and Hermione are far too young to marry, but this isn't a HUMOR/PARODY fic for nothing! Anyway, I'd appreciate it if you reviewed my story. Otherwise, Snape the Priest could become very angry . . .
While Harry was flying on his Nimbus 9999 ½, he suddenly remembered that he wasn't allowed to do magic outside Hogwarts. He wondered if flying on a broom while every single Muggle down there could see him was illegal. His question was answered when he noticed that he was followed by 6 agents of the Ministry!
What followed was a wicked chase, in which Harry had to fly through clouds and do double spins and loopings to avoid the agents. Harry grabbed his wand and tried to magically stop his followers, but he couldn't think of a decent spell. But suddenly, he remembered a spell that he used to use during his EVIL days. He didn't like to use it, but it was his only choice!
"Usetheforcus!", Harry shouted, and out of his wand came two bundles of red light. He now had a magical Lightsaber! He landed on an open space in a forest and showed his EVIL lightsaber to the agents of the Ministry. But what Harry didn't expect, was that they had also lightsaber-wands, just like him! "We're the Special Jedi Forces from the Ministry of Magic!", the agents said. "We're here to arrest you, even if you're the savior of the world! SURRENDER OR FACE YOUR DESTINY!" Quickly, they started a battle, in which Harry had to use all his powers to stay alive. To his great surprise, Harry wasn't so bad in this lightsaber thing, and he quickly defeated two or three Special Jedi Agents. "Oh no! Darth Potter has beaten Bami-Zwan and Anniekins! We're doomed now! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" The 4 Jedi decided to run away as fast as they could, but quickly, Harry could catch them with his Fishing-net-spell. "You're not going anywhere, dudes!", said Harry. "Now, I will . . . erase your memories! I don't want anymore trouble with the ministry again!" "Okay, Harry Potter sir, just don't kill us!", begged the Jedi knights. Harry erased their memories with an "Obliviate"-spell and then released the Jedi. Then, as quickly as he could, he jumped on his Nimbus 9999 ½, and changed his Lightsaber back into a casual wand. He flew away and tried to forget everything. He had to have a good mood when his 2 friends were marrying!
After a long flight, in which nothing happened that was worth mentioning, Harry finally came to the Burrow. He'd long forget the incident with the Special Jedi Forces. He landed on the Weasley garden and burst into the Burrow. "HEYYY EVERYONE!", he said. The Weasleys, who were eating in their kitchen, stared at Harry. "Don't you remember me? I'm Harry! Harry Potter!" The Weasleys still stared at him. "Harry Potter! The Boy Who Lived, remember? The dorky guy with a large scar and messy hair?" The Weasleys thought for a minute. Suddenly, they remembered. "Harry dear!", said Mrs. Weasley, and she hugged Harry so tightly that he almost lost breath. "What a nice surprise! We were looking forward to see you again! We were talking about you all day - er, what was your name again?" "Harold James Edwardius Potter the Second", said Harry. "But I guess you can call me Harry."
Somewhat later, the whole Weasley family (including Harry and Hermione) were eating dinner. "Oh, by the way, Ronald and Herms", said Harry, "Congratulations with your particularly early engagement! Can I still be your best man?" "Of course, me ol' mate!", said Ron, shining with pride. "Who would we choose else?" "Fine", said Harry. "By the way, when are you two marrying exactly?" "Oh, sometime after dinner", said Hermione casually. Harry fell out of his chair. "What's wrong with him?", asked Fred and George. "Oh, maybe he has eaten something weird at the Dursleys'", said Ron. The Weasley family continued eating, not minding Harry, who was now out of consciousness.
After dinner, Harry was woken with some ice cold water. "AAARGH! Save me, Mr. Teddy! I'm drowning!" He opened his eyes. "Er . . . hiya Ron! What am I doing here?" "You were screaming for your teddy bear", laughed Ron. "Stop laughing, Freckleface!", said Harry whiny. "It's not funny! If you don't stop, I won't be your best man anymore!" "Oh yeah, I almost forgot, I'm marrying soon", said Ron. "I actually came to give you the ring I've made - er, bought Hermione. In a few minutes, when the ceremony begins, you'll hand me over the ring, okay?" "That's okay with me", said Harry. "So, where is this ring actually?" Ron showed him a thin, twisted piece of metal that was painted gold and had a shiny little stone on it. "Is that everything?", asked Harry. "Look, I didn't have the money to buy an expensive ring, okay? The only thing I could buy was a piece of metal wire, some gold paint and a weird little stone. . . and I think it looks rather nice! So don't whine and take that ring!" They then heard an organ play. "Oh my! The wedding's going to begin! Lucky that I put on my best wedding robe on!" Harry now saw that Ron had on a very old, big, silvery robe. "It belonged to my father", said Ron, a bit blushing. "Good that he was quite a small person when he married, otherwise it would be way to big! But now, I'll go and become the youngest fictional character to ever get married!" Harry and Ron went outside.
When our junior groom and best man came outside, a small crowd was waiting for them. In the middle of the garden stood an altar, where Hermione, Ginny and a priest were standing. Ron was suddenly all quivery when he saw Hermione in a wedding dress. "Relax Ron . . . take a deep breath . . .", Harry said. Ron then began to breathe so abnormally loud that he sounded like Darth Vader. When this happened, Fred and George, who were playing the organ, changed their repertoire from a wedding tune into the Imperial March from Star Wars. "Stop that, will you!", yelled Ron, and quickly Fred and George were playing the usual wedding march again.
"Oookay . . . walk straight to the altar . . . slowly . . . slowly", said Harry. With this, Ron began sprinting to the altar, almost knocking Harry over. "Can we begin now?", said Ron impatiently when he stood at the altar. "You're surely fast with everything, Weasley", said the priest, with a grim look on his face. Suddenly, everybody recognized him . . . the priest was no one less than Severus Snape!
"What are you doing here?", asked Ron in disbelief. "I'm leading your marriage ceremony, Weasley", said Snape. "Believe me, if I had a choice, I wouldn't be standing here, but being a Potions teacher doesn't bring nearly enough money for a living. And now be a nice groom, or else I'll take 20 points of Gryffindor for being brutal to the ceremony manager!" "What's a ceremony manager?", asked Ron. "That's a modern word for priest, you idiot", said Snape. "Now, let's begin this abominable marriage!
We're here today to bla bla bla, blabbity blabbity bla. Okay, now we have that out of our systems, will the best man and woman, Mister Harold James Edwardius Potter the Second and Miss Virginia California Weasley, now hand over the rings please!" Harry and Ginny gave the rings to Hermione and Ron. "Okay, now put your rings on and a bit quickly! I'm almost too late for my extra job at the McDonalds!" Hermione and Ron put on their rings. "I couldn't make - er, buy a better one", whispered Ron. "It's all right", said Hermione grinning. "Your ring is - er . . . very sweet." "Don't whisper in front of your Potions Professor!", said Snape. "If I'd not be such a swell bloke, I'd take very, very much points from Gryffindor! You're lucky you're marrying, Granger and Weasley! Okay, and now you have your rings and the ceremony is almost done, I pronounce you husband and wife! And . . . er . . . oh, I can't believe I'm saying this . . . you may now kiss . . . the bride . . . if you think that's necessary."
Snape didn't have to say that twice, as Ron and Hermione immediately started snogging like never seen. "Somebody please hit me", said Snape when he had to watch this, and he also didn't have to say THAT twice - Ginny Weasley gave him a good whack on the head with a book entitled "Being Best Man/Best Woman for Dummies". Everyone then celebrated the fact that Ron and Herms finally had found eachother, except for Severus Snape, who was now lying on the ground while he was having sweet dreams of chirping little birdies flying around him . . .
THE END . . . OF THIS CHAPTER
I know it, Ron and Hermione are far too young to marry, but this isn't a HUMOR/PARODY fic for nothing! Anyway, I'd appreciate it if you reviewed my story. Otherwise, Snape the Priest could become very angry . . .
