You had to wait long for it, but here it is: chapter three!
CHAPTER 3: DIABOLICAL PLANS IN CONSTRUCTION
While the Weasleys, the Grangers, all Gryffindors and every R/H shipper in the universe were celebrating Ron and Hermione's marriage, a certain Evil Lord was walking through the beautiful forests of Albania.
"These Albanian forests are so peaceful and quiet", said Lord Voldemort. "Too bad that I'm a Dark Lord and that I'm not supposed to walk through peaceful forests. Oh well." Voldemort smelled the fresh air and continued on walking, until he suddenly fell over!
"What the @&#$%!! was that?", said Voldemort, while he stood up and saw the thing where he had fallen over. It was a little man with watery blue eyes and a face like a dirty, stinking rat. Right people, the thing that made Voldemort fall was no one less than our "beloved" Wormtail!
"Hello, mister Scary Guy with an Ugly Face", said Wormtail. "My name is Peter Pettigrew. But you can call me Wormtail, if you like."
"Wormtail...", whispered Voldemort. "Wait, I may have heard of you, but that was in a parallel universe. Anyway, what are you doing laying down in an Albanian forest like this?" Suddenly, Wormtail got a sad look on his face.
"I'm punishing myself for the most horrible crime that can be done; I have betrayed my best friends. That's why I'm sleeping on the cold ground of Albania."
"Why should you do that?", said Voldemort. "What's the big deal if you betray and even kill your friends? What's so bad about it anyway? I mean, friends can sometimes be very annoying, can't they? Say, I've got an offer for you that might cheer you up a bit: why don't you join me and become evil?"
"Evil?", said Wormtail. "I don't know what it is, but I like the sound of it. What do I have to do?"
"You must be my loyal slave - I mean employee - and help me in my noble quest to kill Harry Potter!!" A menacing background tune played.
"Why do you want to kill that boy?", asked Wormtail for a change. "What has Harry Potter ever done to you?"
"Don't ask such stupid questions and join me", said Voldemort. "From now, I make the decisions here!"
"Whatever you wish, my most Malevolent Master", said Wormtail. And then they went off to make plans to kill Harry Potter.
MEANWHILE IN GREAT-BRITAIN, FAR AWAY FROM THIS LOONATICS...
Harry Potter woke up. He was surprised and looked around. It seemed that he was in the Weasley kitchen.
"Harry... Harry! Thank god, he's awake!", said Molly Weasley.
"What am I doing here?", asked Harry. "Is the wedding party over?"
"What wedding party?", asked Ron. "Gee, Harry, you falling of that chair sure has messed your brain up. Why should we be giving a wedding party if there isn't a wedding to celebrate?"
"Weird... so I just dreamed it all?", said Harry. He told the Weasleys everything about his dream; the fat owl called Twiggy, his fight with the Special Jedi Forces, Ron and Hermione marrying, Snape getting a whack on the head. . . etcetera.
"That sure was some wacky dream", said Hermione. "Come on, me and Ron marrying? My parents would kill me, not to mention they'd get me off Hogwarts to keep me away from him!" "Yeah mate, it was all just plain nonsense, except maybe..." Suddenly, a fat owl flew in the kitchen. It was Twiggy! "AAAAARGH! It's that owl! I'm dreaming again!", screamed Harry. He jumped up and ran out of the kitchen, being closely followed by a loudly hooting Twiggy.
"And we're led to believe that HE has beaten You-Know-Who", said Ron. "Yeah right." He looked at Hermione, suddenly with a dreamy look in his eyes. "Come, my sweet Hermsy-Shmermsy, let's go watch the beautiful sunset!" "I thought you'd never ask, Ronald", said Hermione in a seductive voice. They walked away hand in hand, getting a weird look from the remaining Weasleys in the kitchen.
BACK IN ALBANIA
"So, our first step in Operation 'Death to Scarhead' is to find a nice location, from where we can plan our diabolical schemes", said Lord Voldemort. "Wormtail, do you have any suggestions?" Wormtail thought.
"What if we just settled our HQ right in this forest? I mean, nobody would be thinking of looking for us in here - with all this ICKY ANIMALS crawling everywhere - we could make plans without people meddling in our business!"
"No, no, NO, Wormtail! Are you out of your mind? A forest as our headquarters, honestly. . . no, we must have some majestic, evil location. . . maybe a dark place where thunder strikes much. . . and bats, much bats. . . yeah, that sounds evil enough!" "Excuse me, M'Lord", said Wormtail, "But it would be unsafe if we would choose a location with much thunder and lightning. We could have a big chance of getting electrocuted. . . and I also wouldn't recommend a place with much bats, I mean, they'd leave bat droppings everywhere and that would not have a positive effect on local hygiene. . ." "Did I ask you something?", responsed Voldemort angrily. "No, M'Lord", said Wormtail. "Okay, then everybody agrees that we'll settle our headquarters in a Transsylvanian castle! Prepare to die, Potter! MUAHAHAHAHA!" His chilling laugh spread throughout the forest.
THE END. . . OF THIS CHAPTER.
CHAPTER 3: DIABOLICAL PLANS IN CONSTRUCTION
While the Weasleys, the Grangers, all Gryffindors and every R/H shipper in the universe were celebrating Ron and Hermione's marriage, a certain Evil Lord was walking through the beautiful forests of Albania.
"These Albanian forests are so peaceful and quiet", said Lord Voldemort. "Too bad that I'm a Dark Lord and that I'm not supposed to walk through peaceful forests. Oh well." Voldemort smelled the fresh air and continued on walking, until he suddenly fell over!
"What the @&#$%!! was that?", said Voldemort, while he stood up and saw the thing where he had fallen over. It was a little man with watery blue eyes and a face like a dirty, stinking rat. Right people, the thing that made Voldemort fall was no one less than our "beloved" Wormtail!
"Hello, mister Scary Guy with an Ugly Face", said Wormtail. "My name is Peter Pettigrew. But you can call me Wormtail, if you like."
"Wormtail...", whispered Voldemort. "Wait, I may have heard of you, but that was in a parallel universe. Anyway, what are you doing laying down in an Albanian forest like this?" Suddenly, Wormtail got a sad look on his face.
"I'm punishing myself for the most horrible crime that can be done; I have betrayed my best friends. That's why I'm sleeping on the cold ground of Albania."
"Why should you do that?", said Voldemort. "What's the big deal if you betray and even kill your friends? What's so bad about it anyway? I mean, friends can sometimes be very annoying, can't they? Say, I've got an offer for you that might cheer you up a bit: why don't you join me and become evil?"
"Evil?", said Wormtail. "I don't know what it is, but I like the sound of it. What do I have to do?"
"You must be my loyal slave - I mean employee - and help me in my noble quest to kill Harry Potter!!" A menacing background tune played.
"Why do you want to kill that boy?", asked Wormtail for a change. "What has Harry Potter ever done to you?"
"Don't ask such stupid questions and join me", said Voldemort. "From now, I make the decisions here!"
"Whatever you wish, my most Malevolent Master", said Wormtail. And then they went off to make plans to kill Harry Potter.
MEANWHILE IN GREAT-BRITAIN, FAR AWAY FROM THIS LOONATICS...
Harry Potter woke up. He was surprised and looked around. It seemed that he was in the Weasley kitchen.
"Harry... Harry! Thank god, he's awake!", said Molly Weasley.
"What am I doing here?", asked Harry. "Is the wedding party over?"
"What wedding party?", asked Ron. "Gee, Harry, you falling of that chair sure has messed your brain up. Why should we be giving a wedding party if there isn't a wedding to celebrate?"
"Weird... so I just dreamed it all?", said Harry. He told the Weasleys everything about his dream; the fat owl called Twiggy, his fight with the Special Jedi Forces, Ron and Hermione marrying, Snape getting a whack on the head. . . etcetera.
"That sure was some wacky dream", said Hermione. "Come on, me and Ron marrying? My parents would kill me, not to mention they'd get me off Hogwarts to keep me away from him!" "Yeah mate, it was all just plain nonsense, except maybe..." Suddenly, a fat owl flew in the kitchen. It was Twiggy! "AAAAARGH! It's that owl! I'm dreaming again!", screamed Harry. He jumped up and ran out of the kitchen, being closely followed by a loudly hooting Twiggy.
"And we're led to believe that HE has beaten You-Know-Who", said Ron. "Yeah right." He looked at Hermione, suddenly with a dreamy look in his eyes. "Come, my sweet Hermsy-Shmermsy, let's go watch the beautiful sunset!" "I thought you'd never ask, Ronald", said Hermione in a seductive voice. They walked away hand in hand, getting a weird look from the remaining Weasleys in the kitchen.
BACK IN ALBANIA
"So, our first step in Operation 'Death to Scarhead' is to find a nice location, from where we can plan our diabolical schemes", said Lord Voldemort. "Wormtail, do you have any suggestions?" Wormtail thought.
"What if we just settled our HQ right in this forest? I mean, nobody would be thinking of looking for us in here - with all this ICKY ANIMALS crawling everywhere - we could make plans without people meddling in our business!"
"No, no, NO, Wormtail! Are you out of your mind? A forest as our headquarters, honestly. . . no, we must have some majestic, evil location. . . maybe a dark place where thunder strikes much. . . and bats, much bats. . . yeah, that sounds evil enough!" "Excuse me, M'Lord", said Wormtail, "But it would be unsafe if we would choose a location with much thunder and lightning. We could have a big chance of getting electrocuted. . . and I also wouldn't recommend a place with much bats, I mean, they'd leave bat droppings everywhere and that would not have a positive effect on local hygiene. . ." "Did I ask you something?", responsed Voldemort angrily. "No, M'Lord", said Wormtail. "Okay, then everybody agrees that we'll settle our headquarters in a Transsylvanian castle! Prepare to die, Potter! MUAHAHAHAHA!" His chilling laugh spread throughout the forest.
THE END. . . OF THIS CHAPTER.
