Welcome to Yami Malik and Yami Bakura's little rant about how being insane
in NOT a bad thing, and how sanity should be AVOIDED at ALL costs!
Many people have labelled us, especially Yami Malik, totally out of our minds. We recognise this, and we want to thank all you people for that wonderful compliment.
Yes, we said COMPLIMENT! Being insane, as much as you might doubt this, is BETTER by FAR than being sane. Being evil on top of that just makes us better...of course.
You may have noticed how easy this story is to read. The reason we are not rambling incoherently, is because we feel the need to get this point across. The non-understandable speech will happen later.
Now, just to repeat it to any thick-heads out there who may not of understood the point yet, here it is, simply put: SANITY _IS_ OVERATED. There we said it. And this point applies to all ordinary citizens, not only to immortal spirits who reside in magical items an who enjoy annoying their hikaris just by being crazy. Much as we hate you _stupid_ mortals, you should have the chance to have better life...before we kill you and take over the world, that is.
Which reminds us, we must go over and tell all this to the Pharaoh. It would be great to have an extra mad spirit around, stuck-up as he is.
--
Now, after that little boring bit of talk, I (Yami Bakura) am going to tell you all a little story, about insane Yamis.
Now one day, I was sitting at home, alone, on the couch, while my little aibou was at school. A few minutes later, I was saved from my boredom and almost-sanity when Yami Malik decided to arrive at my house. Usually, I wouldn't let him in, partly because I didn't want the house burned to the ground, and partly because I didn't want to get drunk again. But I was _so_ bored, I did the unthinkable - I opened the door to that lunatic.
Of course, Yami Malik barged right in. So much for privacy. Was it just me, or was he looking extra creepy today? Then again, he always looks creepy. Why is it that both other Yamis around here can have this glowing eye- thingy on their foreheads but I can't? Makes me feel left out.
Oh, where was I? Ok, Yami M. just barged into my house and -
--
Right. Now that I've (Yami Malik) stopped that Baka from continuing his mindless ranting about his dumb little story, by tying him up with my socks (A/N: Ewwwwww...), I can continue with this by myself. Not that I ever needed help anyway. And he should feel left out. This eye-thingy makes me look good, and would be wasted on him. ^^
*gets bitten by Yami B.*
Yowch! What was that for?
Shut up! My socks do not stink.
Oh yeah, I'll make you regret that comment.
How?!?! Ummmm...
I am NOT PATHETIC, YOU LOON!
AND THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE A COMPLIMENT!
Grrrr...he really annoys me sometimes. Then again, I go out of my way to annoy him, so it's expected.
--
Almost out. Just bit more. Phowah! Ra, Yami M's socks stink. But I'm almost out of them, he hasn't noticed me because he's muttering to himself.
Don't get any ideas Yami Malik!!
What are you looking at, you creepy reader?
Yes! I'm out. Uggghhh! I think I'll burn these next time I find a match.
Die you bastard!
Hah, caught him by surprise that time! @*!^%$!!! He's got his Rod! With the pointy end out!
Oh wait, I have my Ring. How stupid of me.
--
And then both of the fighting Yamis get separated by Cherry, who glares evilly at them. "You're supposed to be talking to the non-existent audience about insanity, NOT FIGHTING."
At this, Yami Bakura glares up at her. "Does it matter what we do? It's not like anyone's reading this."
Cherry gestures to where the other members of the Yu-Gi-Oh cast are sitting, their eyes glazing over in boredom. The Yamis hang their heads, looking ashamed. But not for long, because everyone knows that crazy people don't have consciences.
"You know, Yami Bakura, I have often found that Anzu-bashing is a very good way to clear boredom."
"Ah, yes Yami Malik, I quite agree. Let us go now, and hurt the one called Anzu."
Both of them linked arms and marched off towards the seat Anzu was in, leaving Cherry standing dazed on the spot.
Not for long though. She quickly regained thought (she ever had it?) and marched over, grabbing Yami B by his collar, and Yami M by the hood on that ridiculous cloak-robe thing he always wears. Out of fear (Yes, Cherry is scary enough to SCARE YAMI MALIK AND YAMI BAKURA! RUN AWAY!), they started trying to scrabble away, but were surprised when she linked arms in between them. "Can I help?"
Anzu, of course, has enough brains to have run away by now, and she locked the door on the way out. "DAMN!" they all exclaimed, looking put-out.
"DAMN!" exclaim 5 or 6 others from across the room.
And then our heroic (yeah, right) little group of three joins the other Anzu haters, and they all begin plot Anzu's untimely death. Unfortunately, Yugi does not appreciate the beauty of these plans, and he throws them into a nearby fire.
"DAMN!" yell all of the plotters, beginning to look pissed-off.
"I know!" exclaimed Cherry, a bright smile upon her face. "Let's have a party!"
"And how will we do that? The doors are locked." Asked Yami, the silly head.
"Ah, silly head, I am the authoress, so I just have to write it down." Cherry pulls out a notebook and pencil, seemingly from nowhere. She writes:
******And then party stuff magically pops out of nowhere, surprising the Yu- Gi-Oh cast.******
"WOW!" some people scream as stuff pops out of nowhere. Joey and Tristan still look a bit sad so Cherry keeps writing:
******Then suddenly, there was a snack table as well.******
That cheered them up.
But Yami M and Yami B were tired of this stupid line of events, so they randomly grabbed the notebook and chucked it into the fire, followed by the pencil. So all the stuff disappeared, and everyone was sad again. Until...
"KILL THOSE YAMIS!" a battle cry sounded and everyone charged forward.
--
OK, this story is getting scary and annoying, right? So let us just imagine that Cherry has ANOTHER pencil and notebook, and she writes in it:
******Everyone's homicidal feelings disappear, and the room is returned to it's normal insanity level. And Anzu comes back. And the party stuff disappears *cackle*******
--
Right, we're back now. Who? Yami Malik and Yami Bakura of course. This was supposed to be OUR fic, and all of the other stupid people around here have been ruining it. OK, so we WERE talking about insanity, and that last part was an ample demonstration of said Insanity.
Did you know that there is someone called Insanity? Much like Fate, or Destiny, she controls the level of insanity in the world. Strangely enough, she is sane enough to string together intelligent-sounding sentences.
Due to the number of insane people on our show, we've met Insanity several times. -Yami Malik has a crush on her.- ~DO NOT!~, and we want you to meet her, so in the next segment, you can meet: INSANITY HERSELF!
--
OK, so after everyone's homicidal feelings disappear, and Anzu's come back in, there is a new visitor. Everyone is staring at her, except Yami B and Yami M. Silly head looks a bit baffled, and so he asks: "Who are you?", a stupid obvious question. (Sorry all Yami fangirls/guys, Yami just had a lapse in credible thought. Don't kill me!)
Yami B raps him on the head. "Duh. It's Insanity."
"OH!" exclaims everyone else. Yami B and Yami M sigh at their lack of understanding. Stupid mortals...and some immortals.
Insanity smiles at Yami B and Yami M, she knows them very well. Dealing with insane people, she's bound to have met them sooner or later.
"OK, who changed the insanity level in this room?" asks Insanity, while staring at Cherry like she already knew the answer.
Cherry raised a hand. "They were getting homicidal."
All of the almost-murders looked away, innocently whistling.
"Oh. Allow me to raise it back up, while preventing them from killing each other." She clapped her hands and disappeared, leaving behind some SUGAR!
OH DEAR RA, KEEP THEM AWAY!
Too late.
--
Yugi bounced around, looking like some cute bunny rabbit. Anzu was snapping pictures.
"Yami, do you love me?"
"Apple pie! Yes!"
Yugi and his Yami hugged.
"HENTAI!" yelled Malik
"No, idiot!" Joey bonked him on the head and then fell over on top of him. Yami B tripped over them, and Yami M over him.
"Oooops!" said Anzu as she knocked over a large bag of sugar cubes onto the floor (all the regular candy was gone). Tristan came running over from the other side of the room, and slipped over on them. Kaiba tripped over him and fell on top of the huge pile of people. (Yami B, Yami M, Malik, Joey)
Yugi ran over to help them up. He dragged up Kaiba, and then they started pulling off the other people. Kaiba pulled too hard on Joey and they fell over again.
"HENTAI!" yelled Malik, but got stepped on by his Yami.
Anzu, who had been snapping pictures the whole time, was suddenly jumped on by Ryou.
Yami B saw this and came charging over, pulling his hikari away from Anzu. "I KNEW YOU CARED!" bellowed Ryou, and he transferred to clinging onto Yami B.
"HENTAI!" yelled Malik. (Is this getting repetitive?), and then Kaiba and Joey sat on him.
Tristan's face got stood on at that moment by Yami B, who was staggering all over the place, trying to get his aibou off. Then Serenity tripped over and fell on top of Tristan. Malik tried to yell something (any guesses what?), but Kaiba had his hand over his mouth.
Cherry then fell into the fire, but nobody cares about that, so let's move on, shall we?
Yugi was still hopping around, and now he crashed into Otogi. Kaiba still had his hand over Malik's mouth. Lucky.
Yami B finally managed to separate his hikari from his waist (no dirty thoughts, people), when Malik somehow grabbed on instead.
Kaiba was running around going "Ewwwww..." and shaking his hand, which apparently Malik had licked to get it off his mouth.
Mai tripped over the Yugi & Otogi pile. Of course, wearing those high heels didn't help her fall.
Anzu was STILL taking pictures.
For some reason, Yami M had decided to join in with his hikari, and so now Yami B had two people clinging on him. Guess what? He fell over, the Maliks on top of him. Poor Yami B.
Serenity had finally managed to get off Tristan (not an easy thing to do on a sugar high), and had gone over to hug her brother.
Malik was too occupied to call out his word (get your minds out of the gutter, people).
Suddenly, the sugar high ended, and everyone dropped where they were standing (or stayed where they were on the ground), and pretty much fell asleep.
Just so you know, Serenity had fallen asleep on Joey, who was asleep on Kaiba.
Mai, Otogi and Yugi were in a pile.
Ryou was lying on Anzu's feet. (stinky)
Tristan was lying alone.
I have no clue where Yami went.
Cherry was asleep in the fire. (which was still burning by the way)
Malik and Yami Malik were asleep on Yami Bakura.
--
Right. Now, you may be wondering why I, Insanity, gave those lunatics sugar cubes and candy. I could have just raised the insanity level around there, but I was bored, so I gave them sugar.
It was certainly very interesting.
You might also be wondering why I actually came to that room. It's because it's my job to monitor insanity levels, and Cherry changed them, so I had to do something.
Another thing, I don't think Yami Bakura and Yami Malik are in any shape to finish off this strange fic, so I will.
Goodbye, and please review.
^^
Many people have labelled us, especially Yami Malik, totally out of our minds. We recognise this, and we want to thank all you people for that wonderful compliment.
Yes, we said COMPLIMENT! Being insane, as much as you might doubt this, is BETTER by FAR than being sane. Being evil on top of that just makes us better...of course.
You may have noticed how easy this story is to read. The reason we are not rambling incoherently, is because we feel the need to get this point across. The non-understandable speech will happen later.
Now, just to repeat it to any thick-heads out there who may not of understood the point yet, here it is, simply put: SANITY _IS_ OVERATED. There we said it. And this point applies to all ordinary citizens, not only to immortal spirits who reside in magical items an who enjoy annoying their hikaris just by being crazy. Much as we hate you _stupid_ mortals, you should have the chance to have better life...before we kill you and take over the world, that is.
Which reminds us, we must go over and tell all this to the Pharaoh. It would be great to have an extra mad spirit around, stuck-up as he is.
--
Now, after that little boring bit of talk, I (Yami Bakura) am going to tell you all a little story, about insane Yamis.
Now one day, I was sitting at home, alone, on the couch, while my little aibou was at school. A few minutes later, I was saved from my boredom and almost-sanity when Yami Malik decided to arrive at my house. Usually, I wouldn't let him in, partly because I didn't want the house burned to the ground, and partly because I didn't want to get drunk again. But I was _so_ bored, I did the unthinkable - I opened the door to that lunatic.
Of course, Yami Malik barged right in. So much for privacy. Was it just me, or was he looking extra creepy today? Then again, he always looks creepy. Why is it that both other Yamis around here can have this glowing eye- thingy on their foreheads but I can't? Makes me feel left out.
Oh, where was I? Ok, Yami M. just barged into my house and -
--
Right. Now that I've (Yami Malik) stopped that Baka from continuing his mindless ranting about his dumb little story, by tying him up with my socks (A/N: Ewwwwww...), I can continue with this by myself. Not that I ever needed help anyway. And he should feel left out. This eye-thingy makes me look good, and would be wasted on him. ^^
*gets bitten by Yami B.*
Yowch! What was that for?
Shut up! My socks do not stink.
Oh yeah, I'll make you regret that comment.
How?!?! Ummmm...
I am NOT PATHETIC, YOU LOON!
AND THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE A COMPLIMENT!
Grrrr...he really annoys me sometimes. Then again, I go out of my way to annoy him, so it's expected.
--
Almost out. Just bit more. Phowah! Ra, Yami M's socks stink. But I'm almost out of them, he hasn't noticed me because he's muttering to himself.
Don't get any ideas Yami Malik!!
What are you looking at, you creepy reader?
Yes! I'm out. Uggghhh! I think I'll burn these next time I find a match.
Die you bastard!
Hah, caught him by surprise that time! @*!^%$!!! He's got his Rod! With the pointy end out!
Oh wait, I have my Ring. How stupid of me.
--
And then both of the fighting Yamis get separated by Cherry, who glares evilly at them. "You're supposed to be talking to the non-existent audience about insanity, NOT FIGHTING."
At this, Yami Bakura glares up at her. "Does it matter what we do? It's not like anyone's reading this."
Cherry gestures to where the other members of the Yu-Gi-Oh cast are sitting, their eyes glazing over in boredom. The Yamis hang their heads, looking ashamed. But not for long, because everyone knows that crazy people don't have consciences.
"You know, Yami Bakura, I have often found that Anzu-bashing is a very good way to clear boredom."
"Ah, yes Yami Malik, I quite agree. Let us go now, and hurt the one called Anzu."
Both of them linked arms and marched off towards the seat Anzu was in, leaving Cherry standing dazed on the spot.
Not for long though. She quickly regained thought (she ever had it?) and marched over, grabbing Yami B by his collar, and Yami M by the hood on that ridiculous cloak-robe thing he always wears. Out of fear (Yes, Cherry is scary enough to SCARE YAMI MALIK AND YAMI BAKURA! RUN AWAY!), they started trying to scrabble away, but were surprised when she linked arms in between them. "Can I help?"
Anzu, of course, has enough brains to have run away by now, and she locked the door on the way out. "DAMN!" they all exclaimed, looking put-out.
"DAMN!" exclaim 5 or 6 others from across the room.
And then our heroic (yeah, right) little group of three joins the other Anzu haters, and they all begin plot Anzu's untimely death. Unfortunately, Yugi does not appreciate the beauty of these plans, and he throws them into a nearby fire.
"DAMN!" yell all of the plotters, beginning to look pissed-off.
"I know!" exclaimed Cherry, a bright smile upon her face. "Let's have a party!"
"And how will we do that? The doors are locked." Asked Yami, the silly head.
"Ah, silly head, I am the authoress, so I just have to write it down." Cherry pulls out a notebook and pencil, seemingly from nowhere. She writes:
******And then party stuff magically pops out of nowhere, surprising the Yu- Gi-Oh cast.******
"WOW!" some people scream as stuff pops out of nowhere. Joey and Tristan still look a bit sad so Cherry keeps writing:
******Then suddenly, there was a snack table as well.******
That cheered them up.
But Yami M and Yami B were tired of this stupid line of events, so they randomly grabbed the notebook and chucked it into the fire, followed by the pencil. So all the stuff disappeared, and everyone was sad again. Until...
"KILL THOSE YAMIS!" a battle cry sounded and everyone charged forward.
--
OK, this story is getting scary and annoying, right? So let us just imagine that Cherry has ANOTHER pencil and notebook, and she writes in it:
******Everyone's homicidal feelings disappear, and the room is returned to it's normal insanity level. And Anzu comes back. And the party stuff disappears *cackle*******
--
Right, we're back now. Who? Yami Malik and Yami Bakura of course. This was supposed to be OUR fic, and all of the other stupid people around here have been ruining it. OK, so we WERE talking about insanity, and that last part was an ample demonstration of said Insanity.
Did you know that there is someone called Insanity? Much like Fate, or Destiny, she controls the level of insanity in the world. Strangely enough, she is sane enough to string together intelligent-sounding sentences.
Due to the number of insane people on our show, we've met Insanity several times. -Yami Malik has a crush on her.- ~DO NOT!~, and we want you to meet her, so in the next segment, you can meet: INSANITY HERSELF!
--
OK, so after everyone's homicidal feelings disappear, and Anzu's come back in, there is a new visitor. Everyone is staring at her, except Yami B and Yami M. Silly head looks a bit baffled, and so he asks: "Who are you?", a stupid obvious question. (Sorry all Yami fangirls/guys, Yami just had a lapse in credible thought. Don't kill me!)
Yami B raps him on the head. "Duh. It's Insanity."
"OH!" exclaims everyone else. Yami B and Yami M sigh at their lack of understanding. Stupid mortals...and some immortals.
Insanity smiles at Yami B and Yami M, she knows them very well. Dealing with insane people, she's bound to have met them sooner or later.
"OK, who changed the insanity level in this room?" asks Insanity, while staring at Cherry like she already knew the answer.
Cherry raised a hand. "They were getting homicidal."
All of the almost-murders looked away, innocently whistling.
"Oh. Allow me to raise it back up, while preventing them from killing each other." She clapped her hands and disappeared, leaving behind some SUGAR!
OH DEAR RA, KEEP THEM AWAY!
Too late.
--
Yugi bounced around, looking like some cute bunny rabbit. Anzu was snapping pictures.
"Yami, do you love me?"
"Apple pie! Yes!"
Yugi and his Yami hugged.
"HENTAI!" yelled Malik
"No, idiot!" Joey bonked him on the head and then fell over on top of him. Yami B tripped over them, and Yami M over him.
"Oooops!" said Anzu as she knocked over a large bag of sugar cubes onto the floor (all the regular candy was gone). Tristan came running over from the other side of the room, and slipped over on them. Kaiba tripped over him and fell on top of the huge pile of people. (Yami B, Yami M, Malik, Joey)
Yugi ran over to help them up. He dragged up Kaiba, and then they started pulling off the other people. Kaiba pulled too hard on Joey and they fell over again.
"HENTAI!" yelled Malik, but got stepped on by his Yami.
Anzu, who had been snapping pictures the whole time, was suddenly jumped on by Ryou.
Yami B saw this and came charging over, pulling his hikari away from Anzu. "I KNEW YOU CARED!" bellowed Ryou, and he transferred to clinging onto Yami B.
"HENTAI!" yelled Malik. (Is this getting repetitive?), and then Kaiba and Joey sat on him.
Tristan's face got stood on at that moment by Yami B, who was staggering all over the place, trying to get his aibou off. Then Serenity tripped over and fell on top of Tristan. Malik tried to yell something (any guesses what?), but Kaiba had his hand over his mouth.
Cherry then fell into the fire, but nobody cares about that, so let's move on, shall we?
Yugi was still hopping around, and now he crashed into Otogi. Kaiba still had his hand over Malik's mouth. Lucky.
Yami B finally managed to separate his hikari from his waist (no dirty thoughts, people), when Malik somehow grabbed on instead.
Kaiba was running around going "Ewwwww..." and shaking his hand, which apparently Malik had licked to get it off his mouth.
Mai tripped over the Yugi & Otogi pile. Of course, wearing those high heels didn't help her fall.
Anzu was STILL taking pictures.
For some reason, Yami M had decided to join in with his hikari, and so now Yami B had two people clinging on him. Guess what? He fell over, the Maliks on top of him. Poor Yami B.
Serenity had finally managed to get off Tristan (not an easy thing to do on a sugar high), and had gone over to hug her brother.
Malik was too occupied to call out his word (get your minds out of the gutter, people).
Suddenly, the sugar high ended, and everyone dropped where they were standing (or stayed where they were on the ground), and pretty much fell asleep.
Just so you know, Serenity had fallen asleep on Joey, who was asleep on Kaiba.
Mai, Otogi and Yugi were in a pile.
Ryou was lying on Anzu's feet. (stinky)
Tristan was lying alone.
I have no clue where Yami went.
Cherry was asleep in the fire. (which was still burning by the way)
Malik and Yami Malik were asleep on Yami Bakura.
--
Right. Now, you may be wondering why I, Insanity, gave those lunatics sugar cubes and candy. I could have just raised the insanity level around there, but I was bored, so I gave them sugar.
It was certainly very interesting.
You might also be wondering why I actually came to that room. It's because it's my job to monitor insanity levels, and Cherry changed them, so I had to do something.
Another thing, I don't think Yami Bakura and Yami Malik are in any shape to finish off this strange fic, so I will.
Goodbye, and please review.
^^
