Notes:
Holidays – so more updating!! I promise!!!
Lost the piece of paper with all my thanxez on it!!! Soooooo this is 4 u all:
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! THEY ALL MADE ME V.V.V.V.V.V.V.V.V.HAPPY!!!
please please review this! It really helps me write more!
The more often I saw a review, the more this story grew!
Stuff between these lines:
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are song/poem lyrics, disclaimed at beginning of episode if necessary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~*~*~*~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~***~~~~
Angel glanced at Dru's sleeping figure draped across the plane seat. She had refused point blank to come without Connor. She thought he was lost or hurt somewhere in Brazil and no force could convince her to go to the airport. Eventually, Angel had had to let her see the letter and cradle her as she moaned in disappointment.
They had boarded the plane and were on their way to L.A.
~*~*~*~**~~~*~**~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~
Connor knew where Spike was. Dru had told him. But he couldn't go to Sunnydale for another week or two, for Angel was sure to stay there for about that long and then head back to L.A.
He had ordered a few minions to come with him, and they had been behaving diligently so far. They thought that Angelus had instructed them to care for 'the human', so no one dared try to hurt him, in fact they went out of their way to protect him.
Through means he'd rather not think about, they were staying in a hotel in Chicago till Connor thought he could safely get to Sunnydale without Angel being present.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Howdy Slayer."
"I'm tired tonight Spike."
"Demons gotcha all weary?"
"Yeah."
Spike came over to her sagging body and started kneading her tensed shoulders. She let out a long breath and fell, face first, onto her bed. Spike grinned and continued to ease her muscles, even after he sensed that her breathing had evened, indicating sleep.
When her back was relaxed and smooth, he stood, feeling out of place again, and left.
Smoke billowed from his dead lips as he loitered around the cemetery. Thoughts of Buffy filled his head and he wasn't sure if they were accompanied with love anymore. His unlife seemed so meaningless, pointless and too bloody hard. Just when he thought he couldn't get anymore depressed…he felt it.
"Bloody buggering fuck. You have got to be shitting me. Peaches?"
"I'm here, Spike, you nitwit."
"Bloody fuck, what the hell do you want? Why are you in my bloody blood."
"I'm trying to bloody talk to you, boy. Shut up and listen to yer damn blood."
"What the fuck is it?"
"Look, there is someone looking for you, and he's my ch-"
The blood call was cut off. They hadn't connected like that in years; the blood bond was rusty and couldn't last any longer until the bond was re-affirmed.
"What the fuck was that, you puff!" Spike addressed the sky.
Spike gagged on the Sire taste his blood had acquired and stomped to his apartment.
~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~
The next day"Cordelia, this is urgent. Gunn'll be back here in an hour or so, you two can handle Dru. She's very weak, I drained her pretty dry. She should stay like that for about a day and a half. I should be back by then. I just need to rough Spike up so he'll tell me when Connor shows in Sunnydale."
Without waiting to hear her whining again, he closed the car door and took off.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"SPIKE!!!!!!!"
Spike grunted as Buffy moved herself on him, rough, just the way he liked it.
"Cor Slayer, c'mon pet, more!"
She was so carried away she didn't notice that another vampire had entered the run down crypt where Spike and Buffy had not been able to resist themselves. Spike, however, was 100% aware that his Sire was standing there, looking at Buffy's back moving up and down on Spike's body. The thought filled him with such a high amount of glee he couldn't even describe it.
Suddenly Spike's grunts and pleas were ten times louder.
Just 'coz.
Angel, surprised that the sight before him didn't fill him with anger or sadness or longing of any kind, cleared his throat. All he felt was a twinge of disappointment for Buffy and nothing more. He pushed aside the revelation when Buffy's body tensed up and her face scrunched up in shock.
"It can't be." She whispered, looking down at Spike for assurance.
"Hello Buffy."
"Oh my goodness."
Buffy scrambled off Spike and grabbed his duster in a clumsy attempt at covering herself.
"Angel. I…. it's just…"
"It's ok Buffy. Your life is yours to do with what you wish."
"Oh." Buffy nodded and smiled, for the first time in a long time…she didn't feel dirty or wrong. She was embarrassed and angry that Angel had had to see what he had, but nothing more.
"I need to speak to Spike actually. That's why I came down…do you mind…"
Buffy's eyes widened and she started to nod at quite an alarming rate.
"Right, of course, sure, no problems, just…ah… one second…I'll just give you your duster back later Spike. Uhm. Bye."
"Goodbye, Buffy." Angel said, in his way of saying goodbye to Buffy.
Buffy nodded again and smiled. Just as she reached the 'door' to leave, she turned back, gripping her clothes tightly,
"Thank you Angel."
"Its ok Buffy."
She took a deep breath and continued on into the night, alone, but it didn't matter.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*
"Peaches. Good to see your face."
Spike took the chance that Angel turned to talk to Buffy, to punch the soul-filled nose that rested on the soul-filled face of his soul-filled Sire.
"Now that I've paid ya back for your bloody INTRUSION, you can sod back off to the land of the sugar plum fairies."
Angel groaned and his eyes closed.
*Count to ten. Count to ten*
"Fine then." Spike shrugged and started making his way.
"Wait, Spike."
Angel grabbed his childe's arm and turned the thin body to himself.
"Spike, shut up and listen to me."
And because he was STILL a bloody weak daddy's boy, Spike stood.
"There was a prophecy. Darla and I…we had a child. He's human. His name is Connor. He was taken into another dimension and I finally got him back, but he's older now, you know how it goes with time in other dimensions…. He hated me, Spike… A lot of my childer..en…childeren….seem to turn that way."
Spike stiffened and shook Angel's hands off. His jaw clenched, he started to walk away, fumbling around a non-existent duster for some smokes.
Angel followed him and continued to talk.
"It's taken awhile, but he accepts that I'm his father, and I guess with that, he accepts that you are Dru are his brother and sister."
Spike froze, mid-step. "A kid brother. Guess you could think o' it that way."
"He went after Dru."
"An' you thought she'd rip him to shreds."
"That's what I thought."
"You were wrong, right? Dru's not like that."
"I know that now."
"Too bad you couldn't have trusted her. Then again, you don't really know her now, do you?"
"Will…"
It hit him before he could even realise what he'd said. Spike elbowed his face and punched him in the gut. When Angel fell to the grass, Spike saved no time in shoving a boot to his Sire's neck.
"You lost the right to call me that a long time ago. Don't disrespect me and don't disrespect the man that was my sire. If yer perfect child comes my way lookin' for some brotherly bonding, I'll be sure to send him right back to you, makin' sure the kid knows that all vampires are evil an' incapable of love. That'll set him straight, all right? I can't bloody touch a single hair on his head coz of the chip ANYWAY. Just sod off an' leave me be. You're filth to me. You're the shit I scrape off the bottom of me Docs. You are not ma Sire. Don't call on my blood. Don't try and help me so you can atone for my existence. Just coz you wish I never existed doesn't mean I don't bloody exist."
Spike spat on Angel's face and stormed away into the night.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~**~*~
Angel lay on the grass for a long time. It was slightly wet.
----------+++++--- flashback----+++++++----------
Angelus could not stay angry with Darla for long. Though it hurt him that she had led Will to feeling so unwanted, she was Sire. And Sire was everything.
But with Will, there was more. It was not just Sire = Creator.
With Will, it was an embodiment of all possible interpretations of Sire/Chile relationships. It was Father and Son, Dominant and Submissive, Lover and Lover, Creator and Created, Sire and Childe.
Neither could quite explain exactly why they felt so much more than a normal Sire/Childe feeling for each other. Perhaps they were destined to be mates.
It was a drastic step, mating. It meant feeling the same, the blood bond intensifying beyond any possible comprehension. If one were to take a breath, the other would know, dimensions apart and still, they would know. If need arose, you could see through their eyes, feel through their touch, hear through their ears. It was the ultimate in 'eternal love'. And Angel wanted that. With Will. Not Darla.
"I see your case Angelus." She had said and that had been it. The preparations were made. They were mated. Angelus and William. Sire and Childe became equals, mates.
And Darla took Angelus out for the night, as a right of passage, to explain the great responsibility that came with mating. She was taking it well.
"Angelus, don't leave me tonight. Darla is sure to keep you long."
"She can no longer do such a thing. A mate is far above a Sire. You know that."
"I want you here tonight, I feel uneasy."
"Rest easy Will, I will return to ye."
Angelus could feel Will's pain as if it were his own, as could William. It had been daunting at first, but so wonderful. Every movement, thought, feeling could be sensed. It was perfect. So Will believed his mate, he could feel the truth coming from Angelus' demon.
Angelus and Darla left.
Only a few hours, Will reminded himself.
"Master Spike?"
William turned and smiled at Derrick, one of the minions they kept at this mansion.
"Derrick. Come now, don't force yourself. You may continue to call me Master William. Tis' only my fighting mates that call me Spike."
"Yes, Master William."
"What business have you?"
"Mistress Drusilla is calling for you Sir."
"I will be right there, you are dismissed."
William shed his jacket and journeyed to his sister's room.
"Sppikkeeeee oh…Willl…..he's going to die. Die.die.die.die.die.die."
"Ssssh, my pet, what troubles your mind?"
William laid her sweating head against his breast, worried at her erratic words.
"Oh no!…. the gypsies …… taken William away……………."
"I'm right here, pet."
"Dadddddyyyyyyy."
Will felt for Angel's body and found it perfectly content, high on blood and awaiting a treat. No danger. Sometimes Dru was wrong.
William sighed and rocked her to a fitful slumber.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
After laying Dru to her rest, William walked down to the
chair by the door.
He wanted Angelus.
Contenting himself with the feel of Angelus' emotions, he waited, hours it felt like, in the hope of Angelus' return.
Quite suddenly, Will felt his blood go bitter and sour. His eyes bugged, his hands pushed away an invisible body and he seemed to move to a place he had never seen, and there was Darla, leaving, running, it was so dark, so bitter, so sour, so bad.
The younger vampire started rocking in the chair, feeling an unusual writhing in his blood. It was like a coiling wire was encasing his skin and a force was pushing him far into the recesses of his mind.
And then he felt it.
Pain.
^^^^^^^^^
A week or so went by, the minions left him, unsure of what to do. Master William was rocking from side to side, tears streaming down his face, sometimes screaming with gruesome anguish. Images and pictures tormented his mind, moments, and guilt, unbearable guilt. Something huge was blocking the bond on Angelus' side, but Will could feel it all. So much regret and anger, sometimes for things he had no part in, Angelus' actions, but still, unbearable guilt.
This THING was slowly seeping into Angelus, and with every second that went by, the bond was blocked more and more.
Drusilla had been screaming and screaming and screaming. She hadn't stopped to take an un-needed breath. She cried and screamed, often sobbing and wailing. Many minions were dusted at her feet and she barely fed. After the first week she quietened. Eerie silence filled the space of her screams. The blank face just stood on the balcony and stared at the stars, or lay on the bed. No feeding, just silence.
Master William continued to wail.
And then it just….
Stopped. The mating bond was broken, an eternal connection cut off in a second, the basic Sire/Childe relationship remained, weakly in the background and Angelus was truly gone.
The thing was in. The transformation was complete. Whatever it had been was in control. The demon did not seem to exist anymore. It was all gone.
The blond vampire felt the pain go away. There was something changed within him, perhaps a smidgen of what had taken Angelus, had entered his mate also. For now though, if the smidgen existed, it was lost in a pool of emotions.
Master William waited. Another week and one more. His body became eye-soringly thin, but he barely noticed. He was waiting.
Angelus never came back.
He had promised.
"Master William?" Derrick had noticed a slight change in the vampire before him, and again tried to talk to him, ease a response from the dead body.
"My name is Spike."
"Of course, forgive me. Master Spike, do you require anything?"
"Pack my things, and Drusilla's."
"What shall I do with Master Angelus' and Mistress Darla's things?"
"Burn them. Those two will not be returning."
"I see."
"Make sure every other vampire except yourself that was here these past weeks, is dusted. No one must remain."
"Yes, Sir."
"Inform the Order that I, as head of the Clan of Aurelius, am asking for a meeting of the order."
"Yes, Master Spike."
"Bring a few humans, dead, Dru and I need to eat. You may catch a quick feed in between your tasks."
"Yes, Sir."
"You are dismissed."
"Thank you, Master Spike."
~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~**~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~
The order gathered. It consisted of twelve Clans, each
headed by a Master Vampire, a direct descendent of the Master himself.
All vampires were borne of the Master. Every vampire belonged to a Clan, if
they did not, they were Outcasts. Shunned in the demon world and in most every
dimension.
The Master sat, watching the twelve Heads of Clans standing before him.
"Well, William the Bloody, Childe of Angelus, Grand-childe of Darla, Great-Grand-Childe of mine, what do you call us for?"
"I wish to inform you that Darla and Angelus are no longer worthy of any title. Darla has disappeared after leading Angelus to loose his demon."
"Loose his demon?"
"Yes. As you are aware, Angelus and I were mated. The bond has been broken. The demon is gone, some other spirit takes it place."
"I see. And what of Penn? He is older is he not? The rightful heir?"
"He was not close to Angelus, much more to Darla. Angelus had time to teach me the lore of the order. Though Penn is my senior, I have more knowledge and ability to runt he clan. I doubt he can even sense his Sire's death."
"I agree, I was never too fond of Penn, and no one knows which dimension he is ever in. Too unreliable. Very well, make your declaration."
"I am left as Head of Aurelius, I wish to inform the other Clans, Yuilitude, Xavier, Pendriacle, Courtiazon, Tunisdius, Rosemarte, Synopthia, Germindale, Lidirof, Jelepig, Warlint – that I intend to keep the peace, and am not making any changes to the laws of the clan as of yet. I thank you to accept me as your equal and the Head of Aurelius."
One by one, the elder Heads nodded their approval. The Master bit into Spike's flesh and the transfer of power was complete.
"William the Bloody, Clan of Aurelius."
The news spread like wildfire. The next few weeks were a blur of congratulatory parties and mass feedings. There were few objectors, easily and quickly dusted or dismissed. Angelus had long since been proclaimed dead and Darla announced an Outcast.
Spike and Dru travelled from Morocco to Argentina, Paris to Moscow, and Delhi to Scotland. Life was a mixture of blood, sex and killing. Something nagged at Spike's demon every time he killed for purely pleasurable reasons, and soon he only hunted rarely, preferring to order a minion to bring his food.
As Head of Aurelius, he was busy. He had to make sure everyone in the Clan trusted him and were loyal. Many times he thought about making a childe, but he could not do it. The fear of not being able to be as perfect a Sire as his own had been, held him back, and the pain of loosing his Sire shut any more thoughts of childer from his mind. Maybe one day, in the future. Spike was the Big Bad, here to stay. He didn't need to worry about Heirs as of yet.
Drusilla was his princess, they doted on each other, him a little more than her, perhaps. She was his everything. Whatever she desired she got. They worked through the pain of Angelus' death together, for they were convinced that Darla had led him to some sort of slow, painful end.
Many gasped at the thought that Angelus; Master Vampire in his prime had been dusted so brutally by his own Sire. They were convinced that his childe, Spike, was made of stronger stuff. They didn't know of his pain.
Sometimes he thought he was insane, almost positive he could feel the faint pull on the Sire/Childe bond. But, no, Angelus was gone, dead, in all means of the word.
----------+++++--- flashback----+++++++----------
Angel winced at the memories that he tried so hard to block out.
He remembered how, quite suddenly, after beginning to drink from the gypsy, he had felt his blood go bitter and sour.
In despair, the older vampire's eyes had bugged, his hands pushing away the body of the girl in an attempt to reach Darla who was leaving, running, it was so dark, so bitter, so sour, so bad.
Angel remembered the unusual writhing in his blood. It was like a coiling wire was encasing his skin and a force was pushing him far into the recesses of his mind.
He remembered trying one final time to say goodbye to Will as he felt the soul pushing in. He remembered how the pain was too intense to feel anything, let alone say goodbye and the long week of torture as the soul eased its way in.
All blood bonds were cut, except the basic undeniable ones of origin and creation, even they were weak. After a week of unbearable, crippling pain, Angel had had to wake, the memories easing after the initial entrance of the soul.
Slowly, fearfully, he had made his way to an inn, unable to look upon any humans; he quickly paid for a room and ran to it. He was scared. Scared that his childer would come to kill him. What a failure of a Sire. He had a soul now; they would never accept him and vampires…they would never change.
That was the first time he felt disgust for his own body.
After a fitful and painful slumber, he woke and cried for his Childer. Penn, out in the world, killing, whoring and raping, causing mass destruction as taught by his Sire.
Gabrielle dusted by an annoyingly persistent Slayer. That eased his mind. One of his childer was set free, away from a demonic visage and empty body.
Dru, oh how he had hurt her, she was a sweet gentle girl, a killer nonetheless. A killer hidden beneath a picture of innocence. She would be safe…with Will.
Will, how could he regret creating William. Not even his soul would allow it. Such a passionate companion could never be unwanted. A mate. An everything. Surely Will would understand? Angel could go to him could he not? No…no…Will cared too much for the hunt, he was a demon besides, cold and heartless. Incapable of LOVE, for only love could cause him to give up his vampiric lifestyle. Love or a soul and it was Angel only who had a soul.
No, Angel would have to go far far away and understand his mind, feel his guilt and try and atone for all the evil he had been responsible for.
~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~~*~*~
Angel stood, leaving an indent in the grass below him. Spike was long gone, and no more words were necessary. With a heavy heart, Angel started on his way back to L.A., tired of remembering and feeling guilty and hurting.
Pleeeeeaaaaasssseeeeeeeeeee reeeeeeevvvvvviiiiieeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
