1 Chapter 4: A Chapter That is Longer Than Chapter 3

After arriving back the castle, Hermione insisted that it was too late to pester Professor McGonagall for a permission slip.

"She's probably very tired Harry," Hermione reasoned. "If we want to get that permission slip from her we'll want to be sure we catch her in her best mood."

"Well that'll take years," Ron joked. He waited for a leg of meat to hit him, and when none did, he sighed with relief.

The Tres Amigos de Harry Potter walked up to the Fat Lady portrait that led to Gryffindor Tower.

"Password?" she asked.

"Ugly git," Ron replied.

"Why I never!" The Fat Lady huffed.

"No, honest, that's the password!" Ron pleaded.

The Fat Lady paused. "Oh…right. Enter." The portrait swung open, and they stepped inside. They walked in tired silence to the Gryffindor dormitory staircases, and paused.

"I'll see you two tomorrow morning," Hermione ordered. "Don't forget, we have Care of Magical Creatures first thing tomorrow."

"After that do we have a free period?" Harry asked anxiously.

"Yes. After class, we can go get the permission slip from Professor McGonagall and head to the library. Don't worry Harry, we'll get this sorted out."

"I wonder who's hexing you, Harry," Ron pondered aloud.

"Well durr!" Harry clucked. "Isn't it obvious?"

"You mean Lord Voldemort?"

Hermione gasped. "Ron!"

"It's not my fault," Ron insisted. "The author is too lazy to type out the full nickname. Voldemort is much shorter."

"Quite right," Harry smartly agreed. "And yes, it must be Lord Voldemort."

"I don't know Harry…" Hermione thought. "It would just seem like a pointless thing for Voldemort to do. Why not just kill you?"

"Perhaps he's not strong enough?" Ron guessed.

"Or perhaps it's because nothing makes sense anymore," Harry supplied. "I mean, really. Let's just go with the flow here."

"You know Harry, maybe this is Malfoy's work," Ron suggested.

"This curse is far too powerful for Draco Malfoy to perform," Hermione happily said. "No Harry, I'm afraid someone more sinister and evil is at work."

"Yes. Voldemort. Guys, there's really no mystery here. It's always Voldemort."

"Except for that time when it was Tom Riddle," Ron added.

"No, that was still Voldemort. It was teen Voldemort."

"Well maybe the person who's behind this is baby Voldemort."

Harry and Hermione stared at Ron.

"Got any lamb legs left?" Harry asked Hermione.

"I wish."

"Well, anything's possible now! I mean look at what happened to my bloody rat! He was actually a human! So don't sneer at my ideas!"

Ron stormed up the staircase that led to the boys' dormitory.

Hermione sighed. "What a ninny."

"Oh please. The sexual tension between you two is so obvious even Neville can see it."

Hermione pushed a suit of armor at Harry and ran up the stairs to the girls' dormitories.

Harry pushed the heavy armor off of him, adjusted his glasses, and picked himself off the floor. "Why the violent tendencies?" He asked.

Just then, Hedwig collided into his head. Harry fell once more. "Geez, is it 'Whack Potter Silly Day'?" He muttered to himself, getting up from the stone floor once more. "What do you have for me, Hedwig?"

Hedwig gave him a look that said "I'm an owl idiot, I can't talk", left an envelope in his hand, and flew off.

Harry looked at the envelope in his hand. It was crisply folded and addressed. There was no return address. He tore it open and pulled out the letter inside. It said this:

"Dear Harry,

I have a terrible crush on you. I'm sure you've noticed. Every time I see you, I walk into something. Yesterday I saw you at Quidditch practice and walked into a tree. I passed out, and was unconscious for hours. No one noticed. Whoops! You're so perfect, Harry Potter, so perfect in every way. If I were with you, I'd kiss your scar and draw you a nice bubble bath. Then I'd make you some tea sandwiches.

Love,

Your Secret Love Bunny"

Harry stared at the letter, puzzled, almost hoping it would tell him what it meant. But of course, letters can't talk. Except for howlers. But this wasn't a howler. No, this was the opposite. This was a "hugger".

The confused young man pondered the strange hugger all the way to his bed. Sighing heavily, he pulled of his shirt and reached for his pajama top. He froze in mid-dress when he noticed the eerie pair of eyes staring at him from the darkness of his bed.

"Neville, I've already asked you not to watch me undress; it makes me nervous," Harry wearily explained for the third time.

"Mr. Potter is not happy to see Dobby?" came a screechy high-pitched voice from the pair of eyes.

"Oh no…" Harry moaned.

Chapter 5 is coming soon! (Not that anyone is actually going to read it; I just like announcing my personal goals.)