Notes:

Hey all!! Exams SUCK! My first one is on January 10th!! Wish me luck!! Have not revised at all properly!! Am tres worried aktchuallyyy!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm evil. You are not. You guys are gorgeous beautiful reviewing people. Patience is a virtue….Exams….

*forgive me?*

Stuff between these lines:

---

are song/poem lyrics, disclaimed at beginning of episode if necessary.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Angel smiled and took the cup of blood from her hands. "Thanks Buffy."

"Its ok. Angel….I'm sorry."

Angel nodded and she sat beside him.

"I think that Spike was exactly what Connor needed. Not that you aren't a good father Angel, but, it was so impossible for you to get through to him and-"

"Spike got through to him."

"Yeah."

"I don't even fully understand anything anymore. All I can think about is putting things right with Spike."

"A broken promise?"

Angel turned at her, fear spilling into his eyes. "You know?"

"No."

Feeling the world right itself again, Angel looked away. "Of all the things Angelus did. Perhaps that broken promise was the worst. I could have saved a century's worth of Spike's killing from ever happening. But more than that, I could have saved us both a century's worth of hatred and anger and loss."

"I wouldn't think any less of you Angel. Whatever you did to Spike, I'm sure he understands that it was Angelus that did it. Not Angel, not you."

The bitter irony curled in Angel's lip and his words came out in a distinctly choked manner that scared the Slayer that had never encountered it in him,

"It was Angel. Angel broke the promise."

~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They hadn't stayed for much longer. Connor noticed that Angel's mood had changed considerably while the boy had been hanging out with Dawn. The car journey was simple. Cordelia couldn't help but hug him and just as she realised that he didn't like her doing that, and began pulling away, Spike's words came echoing back to the teen,

'Because I didn't see you like a baby, care for you as a baby, love you as a baby. Angel did. Most parents can't even accept that their kids are teens after a decade of watching them grow. Angel didn't even get that.'

Connor knew that Cordelia too felt as Angel did and through some instinct from the past, the dark-haired boy moved his arms around her and hugged the seer back. The shock was evident and her happiness at this simple gesture caused silent tears to fall against his neck. She pulled back and a maternal loving shone through her eyes.

"Glad you're back Connor." Cordelia smiled, nervous, and got into the car.

Though he couldn't quite agree yet, Connor felt that perhaps Spike was right. LA was his home and the people there, they did love him. Making his mind to give them all a second try, he grinned at Cordelia's first piece of car-talk.

"Number one, where do you shop? Because those are some damn cool clothes!"

And maybe he'd be good for them too.

~~~~~*~*~*~*~~*~**~~*~**~~~~~

Two nights passed and the LA crew fell into a pattern of life. Connor was due to start school for the following new school year, which started in two weeks. He lived with Cordelia, Dru and Angel, who were each perfect in their own way. It was undeniable at this point that the time apart had done nothing to sever the relationship between Connor and Dru. They picked up as if they had never left off, some connection on another level soothing both of them in their time together. Cordelia, the teen found quickly, was a reliable and strong woman who, now that he had opened his world to her, was more than eager to help. Very quickly they developed a confidence in each other and Connor could see she would be the 'Spike' influence when necessary. Rather than ignore that Connor had been with Spike – Angel's decision – Cordelia asked about the time and the experience and then, to Connor's amazement said something that he had been thinking all along.

"I think that you needed that. If Angel doesn't want you to see Spike, I'll drive you down myself, but please, don't run away again. You don't know how worried and scared we were. We've lost you once honey, I didn't think we could do it again, somehow, we managed it, only just."

And for the first time, Connor felt bad for leaving.

~~*~*~*~~*~**~*~~~*~*~~*~*

Fred was a sweet person. No other words could describe it. She was sweet. Adorable even. Which was why it shouldn't have been surprising that she and Dru became the best of friends. But it was.

If Drusilla wasn't with Connor, she would be with Fred. The two had found some parallel universe of their own and no one could quite put their finger on what exactly the two talked about or did when hanging out. Not even Gunn, who had become the centre of Fred's world, could comprehend it. But no one complained because their antics had laughter and sunlight streaming through the curtained off rooms that they were in.

~~~~~~~*~~~*~*~~*~*~*~*~**~~~~*****~~~~~

Gunn was way cool. Connor saw it the second he fully let himself look at the LA gang with respect. Gunn was awesome. Where Angel would never let Connor go out and fight, Gunn would. Gunn was the one that taught Connor more about sports and girls and cars. They had a man-to-man relationship that Connor found, comforted him even in its simplicity. He would probably not confide in Gunn about school problems or Angel problems – those were for Cordelia, but the dark-haired boy could see that any problems with girls, friends, sports and popularity - Gunn was the man.

Some would say that those things aren't the most important, but in the life of the new guy at school – in all senses of the word – it really was.

~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~

Now, Angel had noticed that Connor had settled very well in the unusual family that had always been his own. Yet somehow Angel still felt jarred, disjointed and incomplete. He knew it was Spike that caused these feelings.

But how could any gesture, any words, correct what had happened? Spike was obviously past caring. The way that the blond had handed over Connor reminded Angel of a bitter divorcee and in all irony, that is what Spike was.

Angel no longer wanted that relationship with his childe. Too much time and pain had passed for there to ever be the consideration of 'mating' again, but Angel longed for his Childe. The older vampire longed for the dependence under independence that his childe presented and the humour and the cockiness and the scrapes that Angelus always got the blond out of.

Too much time had passed though. Nothing could be done, could it?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Right mate. So lets hear your intentions."

"You seem a little old to be her Dad, sir?"

"I'm questioning here, mate. Now, intentions."

"Well, sir, I intend for us to go to the movies and then a burger afterwards."

"I see. And what film are you going to see?"

"I am letting the lady decide that, sir."

"I want her home before mid-night."

"She will be sir."

"What transport do you have?"

"I have a car, sir."

"It had better be safe. I think I should take a look at it."

Dawn giggled from the corner, her face screwed up with the laughter that threatened to spurt out. Buffy had always teased her younger sister about the way Spike interrogated the teen's dates. Tonight, the tables were somewhat turned and Buffy all but lunged at her date in a pitiful attempt at saving him from Spike.

"It's ok, Spike. I'm sure his car is fine."

"I'm not so sure Buffy it looks a bit ratty."

"Oh, no sir. That car there isn't mine! I can see why you would be anxious! No, my car is the not-beat up, not-hideous one next to it."

"Oh no." Buffy groaned.

"That's my car mate."

"Oh."

~~~~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~

"Angel Inve-"

"It's Spike. Can I talk to Connor?"

Cordelia smiled, despite the fact that Spike was on the phone. "Sure. Hold on."

Spike grinned, hearing Cordelia call out to Connor, in anticipation.

"Hey."

"Hey, kid. How are you doing?"

"Hey Spike! I'm cool, you?"

"Dead bored mate. But there was some excitement what with Buffy's new man."

"What did you do?" Connor asked, smiling at the thought.

"Nothing! All I did was give him a bit of a hard time so he'd know to treat her right, but the bloke got a bit nervous. Insulted mi DeSoto and couldn't stop apologisin'. Buffy had to drag him outta the house. Left me an the Bit in stitches."

"Man. You are such a demon." Connor laughed and continued. "So how're Dawn and Buffy?"

"Buffy's all man-loved up. Happy for her though, she's all glowey like she used to be. The Bit's fine too but - they're bloody annoying. Didn't realise how girly they are. Miss me some testosterone."

"I could come back? Just for like, next weekend."

"As much as I want ya here, it's a bit too soon. Give it another coupla weeks. How's L.A?"

"Its better than I remembered it. I wish you could visit, man, that Gunn guy is the shit after you, Spike. You an' him'd get on great."

"So yer happy?"

"Yeah. It's cool, I mean, I guess its not as bad as I thought."

"Told ya so. So...uh...how's Dru?" Spike asked, as nonchalantly as he could.

"She's fine, her and Fred are like weirdly connected or something. Makes her smile."

"Happy then? The whole no-human blood thing's going ok for her?"

"Yeah, she doesn't need Angel's help anymore and she doesn't even notice I think."

"LA scene is workin' out for ya, then?"

"Yeah, and school starts in two days."

"Yeah, wanted to wish ya luck an all that crap."

"Thanks a lot mate."

"Alright, I'd best be off to patrol. At the rate Buffy's daydreaming, I'll have to call myself the Slayer and send her home. Knew there'd be a down side to her finally gettin' a man. Bloody annoying girl."

"I miss patrol. Angel won't let me do anything. Gunn's managed to sneak me out once or twice but it's not the same."

"Remember what I told you about Peaches, give him some time or get the Seer to talk to him."

"Cordy? She already has. I dunno. Angel's just been really grumpy recently."

"Why's that then?"

"No idea. Whatever it is, it'd better go away right quick."

They laughed and after a few more quips, hung up. Connor stood up, smiling and after talking to Cordelia for a minute, took the stairs 3-at-a-time and went to his room.

Cordelia shuffled a few papers in front of her, waiting to heat Connor's door shut before she smirked and spoke.

"Stop hiding in the shadows Angel."

Angel smiled at Cordelia, leaning against the counter-top.

"He likes Spike better than me." The dark vampire commented, sounding very much like a sullen child.

"I'm not surprised. You heard him – which by the way is an infringement of privacy."

"You were here to."

"But he knew I was here."

"Are these rules?"

"Yes."

"There are rules about how to deal with my son?"

"Yes. And if Spike the vampire in his hundreds can remember them, then Angel in his hundreds can too."

"What does Spike do that I don't? Swear? That sure is useful."

"He doesn't act like someone older and wiser and better. He acts like a friend. That's his relationship with Connor. You are Connor's Dad. That's a different relationship altogether. It's amazing that you care Angel, but figure out the right ways to show it."

She raised her eyebrows for a moment, smiled and left him to mull.

~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~**~

You are his Dad. That's a different relationship altogether.

It's amazing that you care Angel, but figure out the right ways to show it.

Cordelia's words seemed to make an eerie sense in Angel's mind. Not about Connor, but about Spike.

You are his Dad. That's a different relationship altogether.

It would never be possible to be Spike's friend – that's not what the blond needed. If Angel approached Spike, it would have to be as a father.

It's amazing that you care Angel, but figure out the right ways to show it.

And it would take time, a long time. A hundred years worth, he thought wryly.

But, idle thoughts. He could never go back. Spike wasn't exactly the type to let Angel be his father again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*

So, whatdya think? It takes like a millisecond to review but that provides at least a half-hour of writing from me :P

#