Chapter 1 The Stick Was Blue

November 2000

Jackie sat on the edge of the bathtub holding her cell phone. She put it down on the sink because she couldn't place the call. It would look like boasting and she wasn't sure on how either one of them would take it. She jumped back into the bed crashing into her husband-husband! She loved the sound of that, especially when the name 'Steven' came after it.

"Jackie!"

"What? I can't jump in bed?! That's ridiculous."

"Did you call Donna and forman?"

"No, I couldn't. I don't want Donna to think the moment I get married, I got pregnant, not after what happened-and you and Eric STILL aren't right- and all he has to do is think of WHY Donna can't get pregnant-AND---"

Hyde kissed her to stop her from talking. "We have nothing to feel guilty over. Us having a child together has absolutely NOTHING to do with the Forman's from St. Louis."

"But Donna is my friend."

"Then she'll be happy for you, she isn't petty like her husband," Hyde kissed Jackie then got out of the bed to get dressed, "Do you want pizza or Chinese?"

"Neither. I want French fries with cheese sauce. And get it to go so we can all eat together. You do remember where Tiffany's dance class is?"

"Yes, Jackie, I was the one who dropped her off."

"Bye, Steven, I love you."

"I love you, too." He almost couldn't believe that he was finally married to Jackie! There was absolutely no f***ing way in Hell that he was going to feel guilty over Jackie being pregnant with his child. It wasn't about how Donna and especially Eric felt. He was happy. For the first time in Hyde's life everything was going his way and he was going to enjoy it. He earned that right a long, long time ago.

Donna sat at her computer trying to concentrate on the article she was writing. God help her, she lied. Well-half-lied. Did that make it any less bad? Did it make her a bad person? She was going to send an email then thought better of it, she thought about phoning, but no-she was going to have to do this face-to-face and she couldn't wait for him to come home. She grabbed her keys off the counter.

"When am I going to be a big Sister?" Tiffany asked Hyde in a rather loud voice when they were in line at one of the burger places in NYC.

"Around May." Hyde smiled, she was almost Tiffany Hyde.

Brad was taken off his perch when he found out that he incriminated himself the moment he left that phone message to Jackie. He was lucky, he didn't go over there and kill him but since nothing happened and he and Jackie were able to get married that he tried to let it go for their sakes he didn't want to do anything that would hurt them.

"Awesome!"

"Do you want a giggle meal?"

"Yeah-and the boys toy!" Hyde thought that was cute. She had definite ideas on what she liked and didn't like. That was just like Jackie. Except Jackie would have wanted the girls toy and would have liked playing with dolls and wearing frilly dresses.

"You're just like your Mom." Hyde said

"Mommy doesn't like to get dirty and she's always telling me to take a bath!"

Hyde laughed.

Donna swallowed as Eric waved to her to come in his office as he had one ear to the phone and his left hand on the computer. Why was this difficult? Was she making it difficult? Why should it be their problem? If she made an issue of it, he would too. What was she doing? She should be happy for them-well she was, but a part of her wasn't. It was only a half-lie.

"Hi, Donna, what brings you by?" he kissed her on the cheek, despite the door being open. He put the file folder on the cabinet for later then he made sure to close the door.

"I was in the neighborhood going shopping and I figured I'd stop by to say 'hi'-Hi, Eric. Oh," She grabbed his paperweight a crystal moon that she bought him for good luck off his desk and started playing with it. "I got a call from Jackie she's expecting."

"Expecting what?" Eric replied in a typical male fashion

"A new sofa! She's pregnant, Eric."

'Well, that didn't take long, did it?' "You came here just to tell me Jackie and Hyde are having a baby?"

"Yeah-just nervous energy, I couldn't wait for you to come home to tell you."

Donna figured it best not to tell Eric that she was only sort of happy for Jackie and Hyde. Hyde and Eric were stalemated at best and she didn't want Jackie to know that she was only partly happy for them because she wanted to have a baby-and Eric wanted a family for years. It was their fight about it many moons ago that she even had the affair with Hyde in the first place. Donna was only pregnant once looking back on it, she should have had the baby, she could've had the baby and still have started her career and although Eric would have been rightly angry over the affair better his anger should have been fresh instead of twenty years just finding out about it. Hyde would have realized he was a great Father and wouldn't have had all the baggage that permeated his adult life-maybe he and Jackie would have gotten back together sooner. Eric would have been a great stepfather and most importantly her body would not have suffered because of it and they would have been able to have children of their own. ---and the Coke habit-Eric would never have touched it, if she didn't push him to do it. It really was all her fault and it was best to sweep this all under the collective carpet and be happy for Jackie and Hyde.

"Are you all right, Donna? You were a million miles away."

Donna wished that the phone would ring, the intercom would go off, or someone would burst through the door, but no such luck.

"I'm fine, Eric," She kissed him lightly on the lips, "I'm going to the pharmacy to get a card for Jackie and Hyde do you want to sign it or should I just sign it for the both of us?"

"I'll sign it," Eric looked at his watch, "It's four o'clock. Do you want to meet at the Hideaway for dinner in an hour?"

"Sure," Donna kissed him goodbye, "Maybe, I should buy a little stuffed animal and make a package?" She thought out loud.

Eric knew something was wrong, she could deny it all she wanted but he knew something was wrong with Donna.

Jackie loved her lazy day in bed and was glad that Steven didn't put up a fuss that she didn't want to do anything all day expect bathe in the knowledge that she was going to have their child. She thought of baby names off and on, wondered if Tiffany was going to be jealous of the new baby-she took the news well for a child her age and was actually excited but that could change once the baby arrives, and she was beyond blessed to actually have this chance with Steven. She did the un-Jackie like thing and ate her fries out of the bag in bed and allowed Hyde and Tiffany to eat on the bed with her.

"Mommy, do you want my fries, too?"

"No, sweetie, I'm good."

"Do I have to get you fries at three in the morning?" Hyde asked

"If I want them-YE-AH!"

Tiffany played with her posable miniature action figure.

"Tiffany if you are done eating-------"

"Wash my hands!"

"Yes, wash your hands and throw your bag away."

"Aww!" She hopped off the bed to use the sink in the master bath.

"Has she called you Daddy yet?" Jackie whispered

"No." Hyde wouldn't press the issue. She had to want to call him Dad it was more genuine that way.

"She will soon. Are you going to eat those onion rings?"

"I can see where the next few months are going." He gave her the rest of them.

"I'm hungry!"

He threw his fast food wrappers away so Jackie wouldn't yell at him, too. He kissed her nose before going into the bathroom to check on his daughter. He liked the sound of that very much. He couldn't wait for the papers to all be official when Tiffany Worthington would be Tiffany Hyde.

Eric watched, as Donna was quietly reading her menu not aware that he was watching her. It was why when it seemed that he and Hyde could be on the road to getting their friendship back it always snapped back like a rubber band. Donna wasn't entirely happy that Jackie was pregnant because it brought back terrible memories of a subject he'd rather not think about. Donna put down the menu on her plate as Eric stroked her hand.

"Donna, you're not all right," he spoke quietly, "Do you want to go home?"

"No," Going home was a bad idea, she only cried when she was extremely hurt and upset and she could feel the tears coming on-going home and crying, even if she was in her husband's arms was not a good thing. "I think we should order."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Eric, I'm sure, but I love you for it."

Hyde read Tiffany a story and tucked her in bed. She was such a sweet girl; he never loved anyone so small before. He never thought he'd be married to Jackie in a million years, it made all the crap from the past few years worth it. They were denied their romantic church wedding because Kelso was a dill hole that deserved death right along with Jackie's ex- husband. He sat on the chair and watched her sleep. She was so accepting of him. It made him think ever so briefly of his Mother who always made it clear that he was loser like his Father and that he'd never amount to anything. And here he was in this ultra-posh apartment married to Jackie, a stepfather to Tiffany, and was going to a Father himself come next spring. It inspired him to get into music again; he could easily find a band to produce in this big city where everyone goes to be a star. Unlike LA where everyone thinks THEY ARE a celebrity. He got rid of his Wisconsin apartment, he was definitely going to make sure that they spent a lot of time in their Pennsylvania cottage, and then there was the other place he thought of buying but at the last minute pulled out everything but his deposit because he knew someone else wanted it and that he would be paid back. He couldn't wait to see Jackie develop month by month, he couldn't wait to assemble toys, and give the love that he was always denied growing up. Life was all about choices and despite the great many bumps along the way Hyde was convinced that he made the right ones. He had no regrets. That wasn't entirely true, but it was nothing that he wanted to think about at the moment. Still if you could go back in time and change things just to make the outcome safe and predictable than regrets were not worth having. You had to be proud of your choices. They made you who you are. Tiffany turned in her sleep taking him out of his thoughts. She was okay she just liked to sleep on her side.

"Oh, there you are, Steven." Jackie whispered from the doorway.

"Hi, Jackie. I was just watching her sleep."

"I know, she's adorable. She's getting so big. Next thing you know she'll be dating some idiot in a letter sweater." Jackie made sure Tiffany had enough blankets.

"Don't get carried away."

"I think we should go to bed, too, I'm tired." She yawned

"Jackie---"

"Yeah, Steven?"

"I love you." He could still blush saying it. You'd think by now he could be comfortable with the mushy-stuff but it was still always difficult to say, even to Jackie.

"I love you, too. Come on, let's have make love before I get too big to do it!" She quietly ran out of the room so that Hyde would have to catch her. Jackie Burkhart was an amazing woman.

Donna was grateful that Eric didn't press her; he was quiet at the restaurant and during the drive home. He let her take an hour-long bath and did not disturb her. She put on her old UofW basketball t-shirt and gray jogging pants hoping that he would be asleep when she slid in next to him.

"Eric, are you sleeping?" she kept her voice below a whisper. No reply. Good.

She snuggled into his chest, making sure not to wake him. She didn't want words. Not tonight. In ten minutes Donna felt her eyes close and she was in between the conscious and unconscious thought process. It was then that Eric spoke softly.

"Donna, I love you."

"Me too," Was this real or Memorex, "Just hold me, Eric."

6:10AM

Eric sat next to Donna on the edge of the bed. He tried getting dressed but only got as far as his white button down shirt. She blinked open her eyes. Normally she would have been annoyed being woken up so early but today she was glad to see Eric at her side.

"You're up, I don't feel like going to work, Donna." He kissed her 'good morning'

"No, Eric, it's okay, you don't have to take the day off. I have to finish my article today." She didn't want to but she knew she had to. Although being with her husband all day was tempting.

She stroked his hair and put it behind his ear and smiled.

"Care to share?"

"Eric, don't freak, I think it looks cute-you're going---"

"Don't you say dare say it, Donna, don't dare you say it!"

"Gray! Just a little bit behind your ear, let me see the other side of your head." If it made her smile-

"Are you done?"

"Yeah, it's only one the one side," She kissed him, she knew he would get all nervous about 'getting older'.

"Okay, enough about my hair. You know it seems a shame to waste this moment, when I haven't got any pants on."

"That's true, so come back to bed-hey," She noticed the tie draped over his shirt.

"What?"

"I can't believe you still have that tie. I bought you that years ago when you got your internship at the bank in Madison."

"I know, I found it in the back of the drawer."

"Eric, I'm saying this for your own good, shut up." And they spent the next hour in bed together making love to each other.

Donna wanted to be happy for Jackie and Hyde but it was very difficult, because no matter what anyone told her, Eric included, she still felt that everything bad that happened was her fault. That was one of the reasons why she wanted to divorce Eric so that he could find a woman who could give him the child that he always wanted. While he was still young enough to raise it. She couldn't have a life without Eric it was proven to her when yet again they wound up back together. They were meant to be together. It felt like they were cheated not having a child. She didn't even think that she would be that good of a Mother, she only knew she wouldn't run away like Midge did. She couldn't tell Jackie any of this. The only thing that Jackie knew was that she wanted a baby and felt that she cheated Eric out of being a Father-she was the one who even guessed it when her and Eric first visited Jackie in New York. It also bugged Donna that Jackie was going to be a Mother of two children while she had zero. Life was not fair.

"Donna, I have my lunch hour free---" Eric buttoned up his blazer as she looked in the closet trying to find something decent to wear. She thought she might be having a mid life crisis as she was never one to think about clothes.

"Get the number #9 at the Revolution café." She settled on her purple v- neck sweater.

"I'll see you at one, Love you." He kissed her "goodbye".

"Wait," Donna laughed, "Your tie is crooked."

"Thank you, my lady," that always made her laugh, "What would I do without you?"

"I don't know, Eric, but you'd be walking around with a crooked tie. There."

He put his hands on her shoulders. "One last kiss before I start the workday?"

"You're cute when you beg, Eric, because it's totally unnecessary. Don't you realize by now that I'll kiss you anyway?"

2 Weeks Later

Boxes. The sight of all the boxes made Kitty Forman sad. She didn't want to leave the house that she's known for most of her adult life. The house she raised her son, daughter, and half of the neighborhood kids in. They found a moderate priced apartment complex in Florida and wanted to leave Wisconsin before the inevitable snow came. Some volunteers from the church came by to help them pack. While Red wanted to throw all of the stuff that Eric and Laurie never took with them, Kitty just made sure they were put in boxes marked "Eric" and "Laurie" and they could decide what they wanted to throw away and what they wanted to keep. That might not be completely necessary she thought as she wrapped some of her figurines in bubble wrap and newspaper. They didn't have to take the furniture with them so what the new buyer didn't want could easily be donated to the Salvation Army. She was happy that Jackie and Steven were going to be parents. Steven would make an excellent Father and Kitty saw that Jackie was great with Tiffany. She felt sad for Eric and Donna and Kitty knew the whole story and realized it had to be tough for them. They always talked about adoption but they kept putting it off for various reasons, one of them being that Eric was afraid his problem would be a deterrent. She tried to tell him it wasn't and that he could get letters of recommendation from many doctors and counselors. She didn't know about his relapses nor his most recent stint in rehab, but even if she were aware of those things she would still believe that Eric deserved to be a Father and that Donna would be an excellent Mother. She heard Red argue with the garbage man and knew Florida would do him a world of good as they wouldn't have to deal with the sanitation crew and there was an on site housekeeping staff like a hotel so neither one of them would have to lift a real finger. She was going to miss Point Place, Wisconsin. It was a great little town to raise a family in. They shared a lot of great times in this house. She didn't want delude herself not all the times were great, but there were more good memories attached to this house than bad ones. She put the last of her figurines in a box, watching the house empty itself. She could picture her happy self-making breakfast to a grumpy but loving husband, a sweet son, and her trouble-making whore of a daughter. Kitty wanted a goodbye party, but Red didn't want anyone making a fuss over them just because they were going to Florida. Eric and Donna paid the moving expenses and Hyde and Jackie paid for their plane tickets to Florida. Laurie who wanted to distance herself from the family more and more offered nothing but her "love" and a tacky vase with plastic flowers in it, that Kitty couldn't even donate to the hospital because it was in such bad taste that she just threw it away. She hoped the kids would come to Florida for Thanksgiving. It was going to be odd to have Thanksgiving dinner when everybody outside would be wearing tank tops and shorts. Kitty was going to have to break in a new kitchen and that was sad to her. She thought she was going to be in this little house forever. Last night when she couldn't sleep over Red's snoring she thought she heard all the kid's voices in the basement. They weren't kids anymore; her son was forty years old! Kitty wished she could go back in time for only one day and have milk and cookies out for the kids after they came home from school. Then there came a time when Eric wanted to pretend he had no parents because everything they did was embarrassing. At least he grew out of that phase unlike Laurie. She missed being a Mother, she was a Grandmother but rarely got to see Laurie's son. She hoped that Steven, Jackie, Tiffany, and the new baby would come to Florida for a visit.

"Kitty, are you done in here?" asked Red

"No," She didn't want him to see her cry, "I'm going to miss this house, Red, and I know you will, too. I wish my babies were still babies!" Kitty cried in her husband's arms.

"I know, Kitty, I know. I'm going to miss Point Place, Wisconsin, too."

The only thing that remained in all the rooms were the pieces of furniture that they weren't bringing, because their new place in Florida was already furnished.

"I need to have one last walk through, Red." She held out her hand, almost surprised that the normally unsentimental Red would accompany her for one last walk through the house that they married and raised their family in. Kitty hoped that whoever owned this house next would love and care for it the way she had for all these years. She hoped one of them would buy it saving it from being sold to cold strangers who would change the layout and then leave.

Steven or Eric? Eric wanted the house and hated the idea of his parents selling it. Steven put a bid in after that fact but Donna explained that Eric wanted the house but was too proud to put a bid in. It broke her heart that they weren't close like they used to be. Could this house and Jackie's pregnancy make it impossible for the two men to ever put all the bad stuff behind them? This was one situation that fresh from the oven logic couldn't fix and it broke Kitty's heart.

Steven and Eric, and only, Steven and Eric she decided could make it right again. No one else could.