Chapter 4: A Light Appears
AN: So sorry about the delay, but I had midterms and then my computer went down and then I injured my shoulder and couldn't type/write and then my computer crashed and my Internet stopped working. Needless to say this was the soonest I could update. Updates should be more regular from now on (fingers crossed)Oh, and if you have been reading TO on the Streets, I've stared the next chapter and it should be up in the next couple of days. Hope you enjoy.
Chandler sighed sadly as he sat alone, staring at the small, framed picture in front of him. It was the only picture he had left of his friends. It had been on his desk at work and he had gotten it when his office sent him his stuff. They had been forced to replace him, as they had not known why he had suddenly failed to turn up for work.
It was such a perfect picture. They were sitting in Central Perk, just hanging out; when the flash went off, capturing a single, perfect moment between the gang.
Chandler and Monica were huddled together, his left arm draped lovingly over her shoulder and she was leaning her head against him. His right hand held hers, and their fingers were intertwined. They looked so happy and comfortable with one another; so in love. Chandler studied the happy, laughing expression on both their faces. Chandler had leaned a little closer as they laughed together at a joke Rachel, who was sitting beside Monica, had said about Monica and Chandler. Ross was mock-glaring at Rachel, as the idea of his best friend and his sister was still a touchy subject. Phoebe was seated beside Rachel, her guitar leaning against her leg. She was laughing as well and was just opening her mouth, most likely to defend Rachel's comment with one of her own. She loved tormenting Ross, in a joking way. Joey was sitting on the other chair, still laughing, but looking expectantly at Phoebe, anticipating her response.
Chandler felt a tear slide down his cheek. It was the six-month anniversary of the fire, and all he had left to remember his friends were a single, well-worn photograph. He had never felt so alone.
* * * * *
Two months later, Chandler found himself alone in his mother's house. Nora was out of town on business and would be gone for a couple weeks. He was making significant progress in physiotherapy and had graduated to walking with a cane. He could only hope it wouldn't be long before he could walk on his own. As soon as he felt strong enough, he could move out on his own. He had recently inherited a house and a large sum of money from an uncle he had only met as a child. The house was in a small, residential area on the outskirts of New York City. It was a nice house, and needed only minor renovations. He had been to see it a couple times and had had it painted, inside and out, and was in the process of ordering furniture. It was hard for him to have the furniture delivered, as he was unable to be there at the time, seeing as he was living in a different state.
Chandler sighed as he flipped through the channels on the television. He couldn't find anything interesting to watch. He had been going to see Ann every week for the past two months and was slowly beginning to come to terms with what had happened. However, he still had a long way to go. He just felt so utterly alone.
Chandler heard a knock at the door and got up. He hobbled over to the front hall and swung open the door. He was taken aback to see Kathy standing in the doorway. She looked nervous.
"Kathy?"
"Hi…Chandler," Kathy stared. "I, uh, need to talk to you."
"O-kay," Chandler said. "Come on it."
Kathy stepped in beside him and waited for him to make the first move.
Chandler hobbled over to the kitchen table, and sat down. He motioned for her to follow.
"What happened to you?" Kathy asked.
"Got hit by a car," Chandler replied bluntly.
"That's terrible! How did it happen?"
Chandler shrugged. "I wasn't paying attention. It was my fault."
"How long ago did it happen?"
"Eight months."
"That's terrible," she repeated.
There was silence.
"So," Chandler prompted. "Are you here for a reason or just simply to say hi?"
Kathy sighed and seemed to struggle with something. "I've been looking for you for a while now. I went too your apartment, but it wasn't there anymore. They told me it burnt down. I was afraid you were dead…" She trailed off when she noticed the change in Chandler's expression. "What?"
Chandler sighed. "I was at work when it burnt down. I had a late meeting. I was supposed to be there. It was Rachel's birthday…"
"Oh, God," Kathy said. "Everyone else. They were in there, weren't they?"
Chandler nodded sadly. "All of them. I'm all that's left," he finished bitterly.
"Oh, Chandler. I'm so sorry. That's so terrible for you."
Chandler shrugged. "It was awful, but I'm dealing. There's not much else I can do."
Kathy nodded. "Well, that's good, I guess."
"So," Chandler said, changing the subject. "You were saying?"
"Oh, right. So, I looked up your name in the phone book, but you weren't there so I searched for you for a while before I had the idea to look up your mom. It was hard to find her, seeing as she's a writer and all. She wasn't listed. It was hard to find you, but here I am."
Chandler was somewhat apprehensive about answering. He wasn't sure of Kathy's motives. "I don't really know what to say, Kathy. If you're saying you want to start something up again, I have to tell you; I'm really not in a place where I'm ready to be in another relationship…"
Kathy cut in. "Oh, that's not what I'm here for." She held up her left hand and pointed towards the diamond ring on her third finger. "I'm engaged."
"Oh," Chandler said, trying to hide the relief he was feeling.
Kathy was about to say something when she stopped and looked at Chandler, concerned. "What did you mean by 'another relationship'?"
"Oh, nothing," Chandler said. "Don't worry about it."
"No, it's okay. You can tell me."
Chandler sighed. "M-monica and I were together. We were living together, actually."
"And she was there, in the fire. She's…dead?"
Chandler nodded, and took a deep breath, maintaining control over his emotions.
"Oh, Chandler. I'm so sorry."
"Thanks."
"So, you and Monica? I can't say I'm surprised."
"What do you mean?"
"You two were always so close. I was actually a little jealous when we were going out."
"Really?"
Kathy nodded.
Again, there was silence.
"So," Kathy finally said. "Back to what I was saying. I recently got engaged."
"Congrats," Chandler said.
"Thanks. Anyway, he's a really great guy and I really want to have a family with him, and he wants to with me."
"O-kay," Chandler said, not sure of where she was going.
Kathy hesitated. "I don't really know how to tell you this, but…I…" She trailed off.
"Just say what you came here to say," Chandler said gently, prompting her.
"Okay. Uh, after we broke up I, uh, …I found out I was pregnant."
"P-pregnant?" Chandler stumbled out.
"I gave birth to a baby girl. She's yours."
"M-mine? But I can't have a child. That would make me a father. I can't be a father. I…"
"I know how you feel," Kathy said, cutting him off. "I felt the same way. I had no idea how I was going to rasie a daughter on my own."
Chandler turned to her. "You didn't have to be alone. You should have told me. I would have been there. You know that."
Kathy sighed. "I know. I should have told you and I'm sorry, but I was scared."
Chandler was silent as he contemplated how to handle the situation.
"I named her Samantha, Samantha Bing. She's four and a half."
"You gave her my last name?"
Kathy nodded. "I always wanted her to know who her dad was."
"Can I meet her?"
"Of course, that's actually what I'm here about; custody."
"I want joint custody," Chandler said quickly. "If I have a daughter then I want to get to know her. I want to spend time with her. I want to be a good father, or at least try."
"I know you do," Kathy said. "And I know you will be a great father."
"When can I meet her?"
"Today," Kathy said. "She's in the car."
"You left a four year old alone in a car?"
Kathy shrugged. "Oh, she's fine. Don't worry."
"But…"
Kathy didn't let him speak. "I didn't want her to be here because I need to talk to you."
"About?"
"Well, I'm getting married soon and both my fiancé and I are very interested in starting a family, however he wants it to be our family."
Realization began to dawn on Chandler.
"…A Samantha will never be his. He will never accept her and I don't want that to get in the way of out relationship."
"What are you saying?"
Kathy took a deep breath and looked Chandler square in the eye. "Either you take full custody of her, or I'm giving her up for adoption."
"What?!" Chandler exclaimed.
"You heard me."
"Well, Kathy, I don't know exactly what to say. You come here and drop this bombshell on me. I don't know what to think about all of it."
"Well, believe it Chandler."
"I can't believe you would do this too your own daughter. It's just not right."
Kathy rolled her eyes. "It's not like I'm killing her Chandler. I'm making sure she has everything she needs; I just don't want to be her mother anymore. I want to have my fiancés children. He doesn't want her. He could never be her father. She looks so much like you Chandler; people would always know that she wasn't his. He doesn't want that."
Chandler said nothing. He only looked down, deep in thought.
"I really need to get going soon, Chandler. What's it gonna be?"
Chandler didn't respond for a few moments. Finally he shook his head and looked up, right into Kathy's eyes, taking her by surprise. She hadn't ever noticed the intensity that accompanied his stare before. He looked right into her eyes and she could practically read his mind. She could see his emotions, his pain, his confusion and his obvious disappointment in her. She chose to ignore the latter, as she wanted this and could always have kids later.
"I couldn't ever imagine giving my child away," Chandler said, evenly, his gave not wavering in the least. "There is no way in Hell I will ever let that happen to me daughter. Of course I will take her. It's not even a question worth asking."
Kathy seemed somewhat relieved. "Good, I'll go get her ready." With that she jumped up and marched out the front door, relieved to be away from Chandler scrutinizing gaze.
Chandler waited, not getting up from the table for a good couple minutes, before he finally heard the sound of a car driving away. He got up, confused and hobbled over to the door. There was no car in the driveway, but there was a small, timid figure standing forlornly in the center of the driveway, staring at he car disappearing down the street.
Chandler laughed bitterly as he realized what Kathy had done. She had left Samantha alone.
After a few moments hesitation, Chandler pushed the door open and walked slowly over to the figure. He stopped a few feet away and cleared his throat, causing the girl to jump and spin around.
The sight in front of him amazed Chandler. The girl's hair, although tangled and unkempt was the same shade of brown as his own. She had small, delicate features, and piercing blue eyes, which he knew also matched his. He was certain that if he had a picture of himself at that age they would look like twins.
The girl was silent, standing stock-still, staring wide-eyed up at Chandler. She was shaking slightly.
Chandler struggled with his words for a few seconds before sighing and crouching down to her height. "Hi," he said softly.
"Hi," the girl said, very quietly, looking down.
"I'm Chandler," he said. "You must be Samantha."
Samantha nodded. She looked back up at him. "Are you my daddy?" She asked.
Chandler nodded gently and felt tears come to his eyes at her innocence. "I am your daddy." He wasn't sure what else to say.
"Mommy said I was going to live with you now. I wanted to go with mommy but she left."
Chandler shook his head sadly. He still couldn't believe Kathy would do such a thing. "I'm sorry, Samantha, but your mommy had to leave," he paused for a moment, trying to sort out his words. "I'm very happy that I got to meet you and I'm really excited about you living with me. I always wanted a daughter."
"Really?" Samantha asked timidly, a spark of hope evident in her eyes.
"Really," Chandler said smiling at her. She reminded him of himself as a child, lonely and timid, always hoping someone would love him, would want him. Chandler was determined that his daughter would never feel alone again. "Are you hungry?"
Samantha nodded.
"Do you want to come inside and have something to eat?"
Again, Samantha nodded.
Chandler smiled and stood back up. He noticed a small, well-worn duffel bag sitting on the driveway, a few feet from him. "Is that you bag?"
Samantha nodded again.
Chandler picked it up and offered Samantha his hand, which he was relieved she took. The two of them walked into the house together.
Chandler dropped the bag in the front hall and led her to the kitchen. He placed a few phonebooks on a chair and helped onto it.
"What do you feel like eating?" He asked.
Samantha shrugged.
Chandler smiled. She seemed very timid and very nervous. "If you could have anything you wanted in the whole wide world, what would it be?"
"Scrambled eggs," Samantha said quietly. "Anna used to make them for me."
"Who's Anna?" Chandler asked quietly.
"Mommy's friend. I would stay there some nights when mommy was busy. She would make scrambled eggs in the morning."
"Did you stay with her a lot?"
Samantha nodded. "She was my favorite to go to."
"Where else would you go?"
"Mommy had a couple friends who would take me and sometimes I would go to my Aunt Martha's for a week, but then she and mommy got in a fight and I didn't see her again."
Chandler was concerned. "How often did you see your mommy?"
Samantha shrugged. "She was busy a lot. She said I got in the way. She called be a new…newsace…new…"
"A nuisance?" Chandler offered, smiling slightly at her inability to pronounce the word.
Samantha nodded. "I tried to be good, but I wasn't good enough. I couldn't make mommy love me." She began to cry.
Chandler felt paternal instincts that he never knew he even possessed kick in. He rushed over and pulled her into a hug. He felt tears come to his eyes as he felt two tiny arms wrap around his neck. "Shhh now, Sam, it's okay." He felt his hand gently begin to rub her back. "Don't cry, sweetie, you didn't do anything wrong."
"But, mommy didn't love me. She would leave me and I missed her."
"She would leave you?"
Samantha nodded in his arms. "She would go out and come back the next day. She was always mad at me."
Chandler closed his eyes and shook his head sadly. He pulled back and put a finger under her chin, forcing her to look up at him. "You listen to me, Samantha. Your mommy was wrong, okay? She didn't realize how special you are."
Samantha seemed to accept this and pulled back, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.
Chandler smiled at her. "Well, lets see what we can do about those eggs."
An hour later, they finished eating and Chandler cleared the table. He knew he was stalling, but had no idea what to do next. He had little experience with children and was never sure of himself when he was with them, he was always afraid of doing something wrong.
He turned to see Samantha staring at him, waiting patiently for him to do or say something. He marveled at the fact that he had met her less than two hours ago and already she seemed to trust him completely. What he would give to be so innocent so untouched by the real world.
Chandler smiled as inspiration struck. "How about we take your stuff up to your room?"
Samantha's eyes lit up. "I get a room?"
"Of course you do. Didn't you have one before?"
She shook her head. "Mostly I would sleep on the couch. Mommy used to room for stuff. She said there wasn't room for me."
Chandler chose to ignore the subject at the time and led Samantha down the hall, carrying her bag.
"Is your leg hurt?" He heard her ask.
Chandler turned to look at her and nodded. "I was hit be a car a few months ago and I'm still healing."
"You got hit by a car?" She asked, her eyes wide.
Chandler smiled at her expression. "Yeah, but don't worry. I'm almost better." He opened the door to the room beside his and led her in. It was pretty bare, a single bed, a chest of drawers and small desk decorated the room, but he could tell Samantha was in awe of it all.
"This is my room?" She asked, excitement evident in her voice.
"Yup," Chandler said. "But only for now. Soon we'll go live in my house, in New York."
"This isn't your house?"
"Nope, this is my mom's house. I came to stay with her when I got hurt."
"Oh. Will I have a room at your house?"
Chandler smiled. "Of course. And we can paint it any color you want and put up wall paper and stuff."
"Wow," was all Samantha could say.
A week later, Chandler opened the door to Ann's office, flowers in hand.
"Hi, Chandler," Ann said.
"Hey, these are for you," he said, handing her the flowers.
Ann seemed confused. "And what did I do to deserve all of this?"
"I just really want to thank you for all you've done for me over the past few months. I really didn't want to come here at first, but I so glad I did. I feel so much happier than I thought I could be, all things considered."
"Well, thank-you, Chandler. I'm glad I have been able to get through to you."
"Oh, you have, and I also need to say goodbye, cause I'm moving next week."
"Where?"
"To that house my uncle left me."
"Right, so why the sudden rush to move. I thought you were going to stay here for a bit?"
"I was, but things change."
"What kind of things?"
Chandler smiled. "Well, last week I found out I have a daughter."
"Really?"
Chandler nodded.
"How did you find this out?"
"An ex-girlfriend showed up at the door. I hadn't seen her since be broke up, years ago."
"Tell me about your daughter?"
Chandler smiled even larger. "Her name is Samantha and she'll be five in a couple months. She's so pretty and so smart."
"And what about her mother?"
Chandler expression darkened. "Her name's Kathy. We weren't together long before she cheated on me and we broke up. I didn't love her or anything, but she was the first girl I saw my self ever being able to love, if that makes any sense."
"That makes sense."
"So, she shows up at my door, tells me I have a daughter and then tells me if I don't immediately take full custody, she's going to give her up for adoption."
"That's terrible!"
"I know," Chandler said, nodding. "But I guess it's for the best. I don't have to worry about visitation, or anything. Plus, she really wasn't a good mom. Samantha told me she was never around and said some really mean things to her. When I opened the bag she left, there were only a few pieces of clothing, which barely fit and that's all she had. No toys, no stuffed animals. Nothing."
"What did you do?"
"I took her shopping. Got her new clothes and a cute little stuffed dog. She loves it. She named it Molly. She sleeps with it every night."
Ann smiled. "She sounds amazing. I must say, Chandler I don't think I've ever seen you this happy before. The difference between this week and last week is phenomenal."
"I owe it all to her," Chandler said. "It's like suddenly my life has meaning again."
AN: Well? How was it? I hope it was okay. Again, sorry about the huge delay. A couple points, I know the timing is a little off. I haven't actually seen many of the season 1-4 episodes, so I don't know how long ago Chandler and Kathy broke up. Also, I know Kathy's character was out of character, but I don't know her character and I needed this for the story. Last, I was going to go into detail about the whole inheritance thing, but thought better of it. I didn't want to bore anyone. So, please let me know what you think, and I hope to update ASAP.
