Why So Sirius? A Harry Potter Fanfiction (VERY Slight DC XOver)

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its associated characters: all rights belong to JK Rowling. I do not own DC or any of its associated characters: all rights belong to the original creators. I do not own any other crossover references used in the story: all rights belong to their original creators. I do own any OC spells explained at the end of a chapter.

Plot: The Killing Joke Response: How delusional do you have to be to want to punish a child because you hate his Father? How big a monster do you have to be to seek pleasure from his pain? Well, clearly, you forgot the first law of nature: there's ALWAYS a bigger Monster!

Challenge Information: DZ2's 'The Killing Joke' Challenge: Snape's useless teaching methods: so bland, he often thought he could get away with anything he wanted. Such a shame one moment's bigotry and self-satisfaction has awoken a MONSTER!

Rules: Evil Harry ONLY

Insane Harry ONLY

Which year the story starts in is up to you

In one of his lessons, or a detention with the Bat-Man of Hogwarts – see what I did there? – Snape MUST sabotage a potion, causing it to explode all over Harry, burning and scarring him physically as well as mentally

PART of the reason Snape does what he does is because he can't stand looking at Harry and seeing Lily's eyes

What other reasons are up to you

No surprise, Dumbledore MUST defend Snape's actions, even if it means he gets in trouble himself

Harry, however, becomes so broken, he finds fun in everything, even pain and torture: as a result, the Marauder Heir takes a new mantle: JOKER!

As a result of what he did to their 'pup/cub' Sirius and Remus MUST do all they can to help 'Joker' give the world the punchline they deserve

Harry MUST have a Harley who dotes on him, NEVER abandons him, even if/when he hurts her (NO HAREMS)

Guidelines: Full Crossovers

Super/OP Harry

Dark-Lord Harry

After being 'healed' Harry even looks like Joker (white skin, green hair, clown-like grin etc.)

Bellatrix finds herself idolising/worshipping and/or even fearing Joker

In his broken state, Harry breaks others, causing them to become his own 'Rogues Gallery'

As this is a magical Joker, Harry MUST use his skills and other resources to create 'deadly hilarious' gags on his enemies

The Twins are forced/willingly serve Joker's cause

Instead of using a flower on his jacket, Harry can actually spit/throw/manipulate acid/poisons/toxic gas

Voldemort offers Harry his vengeance against the Bat-Man, in exchange for the boy's alliance

Umbridge becomes a victim/example/message from The Joker of Hogwarts

Azkaban becomes Harry's own Arkham

Slash

When punishing - though he sees it as 'thanking' - Bat-Man, Harry doesn't just kill: he destroys (think Joker to Jason Todd)

Harry uses Draco - The Bat-Man's Robin? Maybe - as a message to the Bat-Man

A prophecy speaks of The Boy Who Laughed

Harry makes several famous/well-known Joker speeches/quotes/monologues

Forbidden: Light, Grey or Dark-Harry

Sane Harry

Snape NOT breaking Harry

Harry NOT taking up the mantle of Joker

ANYONE making Harry sane again

Harems

Sirius and Remus against Harry

Other than that, it's up to you…

Author's Note: BEWARE, DEAR READER: IT IS NOW BROWN TROUSERS TIME!

And that's all I've got to say about that!

Recommended Reads: Do Not Meddle In The Affairs Of Wizards by Corwalch, Kill me if you can by PercyPendragon3, Harry Potter: Lord of Darkness by AngelSlayer135, Ascension, The Son of Storms and Phantom by PerseusPeverell092, Dark Lord Potter and Damaged Raven by JustBored21, Circular Reasoning by Swimdraconian, Harry's Madness by SilverLocke980, Dark Rage by YamiPaladinofChaos, The Purge by Redbayly, Worthy of Magic by Raul Fictitious, Descent Into Madness by Alsas1975, Deliciously Dark Potter by Lusifur, Death of a Hero, Chosen One of Darkness by YugiohFreak54, Lord Thanatos by Scarlette-Moon-Howl, Aspirations by megamatt09 and Rise of the Dark Angel by mykkila09

Key Pairing: Evil Harry/TBD

Other Pairings: To be determined

Normal Speech

'Thoughts'

/Parseltongue/

Chapter 1: Batman, He Is Not!

As soon as they saw a squad of Aurors began flocking into Hogwarts, accompanied by the Minister for Magic himself, as well as the Director of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and a small group of Specialist Care Healers, who'd come fresh from St Mungo's, each and every student in Hogwarts knew there was trouble.

Of course, the earth-shattering explosion that had rocked the Hogwarts dungeons, whilst everyone else was busy enjoying the usual evening feast, told them all that this was true.

And, as they all looked around the Great Hall, the students also knew who was likely responsible for the explosion.

After all, there was only one face missing from the feast.

More-specifically, from the second-year group of students.

More-specifically-still, from the Gryffindor Table…

Why?

"Unthinkable! Inconceivable! It's just fortunate that nobody else was hurt! If I've said it once, I've said it a million times, Headmaster! Potter is a waste of space, arrogant, ignorant failure, who is exactly as bad as his Father! Why else would he ignore basic safety rules when cleaning out the cauldrons? If I'd been in that room…"

"Why weren't you in the room, Severus?" asked Amelia Bones, earning a violent flinch from Severus Snape, while Albus Dumbledore frowned in suspicion and dread, having already heard more than enough to have to warn his Potions Master about saying anything else.

Amelia, meanwhile, sat across the desk from Snape, while Aurors Kingsley Shacklebolt and, to Dumbledore's growing unease, Alastor Mad-Eye Moody stood behind the Head of Slytherin and Potions Master, the latter's wand hand twitching as he grasped his walking staff. As for Dumbledore, he, along with Cornelius Fudge, were stood off to one side, there as witnesses and, for once, both in agreement with their intentions.

Awaiting news of the casualty from the explosion that had taken place just as the evening feast had begun.

However, while they waited for news – and, in Dumbledore's case, also waited for the opportune moment to step in and get Severus out of the room while he still could, since he needed to be at Hogwarts for the Greater Good – Fudge and Dumbledore also saw Amelia turn on the fierce, prowling predator of a Director's persona that had earned her the title as she leaned forwards.

"As the supervising staff member to this detention we've heard you were in the dungeons for, it falls to you to keep a close eye on your charge and ensure they can see the detention through to the end, does it not?"

"I'm sure your niece can tell you how smug and self-confident Potter is in class, Amelia…" argued Severus, but Amelia shot him down.

"I think you'll find, Professor Snape that, in this room, it is Director Bones, and, despite your claim, I do know of young Mr Potter's condition in your class; how, from time to time, there seems to be distractions stopping the boy from completing the tasks. Oddly-enough, those same rumours surround your godson, and the son of your good friend, Lucius Malfoy, seemingly sabotaging Mr Potter's work…"

"Amelia," remarked Fudge, letting out a laugh of incredulous emotion as he asked, "Surely you aren't suggesting that Lucius would let young Draco sabotage and endanger another boy's life? Have you forgotten all the good Lucius has done?"

'The good for you, you mean?' thought Amelia, unaware of Dumbledore and Snape sharing the same thought, even as the Director voiced her next remark. "Regardless of reputations or ideas, Minister, the fact of the matter is that, like so many other Ministry officials, I have heard, time and time again, how many students, even those who barely manage to scrape through a grade, have said that the Potions classroom is a ticking time bomb."

"It's not my fault they're all dunderheads!"

"Except Draco?" asked Amelia.

Before Dumbledore could stop him, Snape sneered, "Obviously; I trained that boy myself as a young wizard."

"And Mr Potter?"

"Is a fool who can't follow the simplest instructions!"

"Even though he's Lily's son?"

And there it was.

The flinch that should only ever be seen when Voldemort's name was spoken; as Amelia saw it, her eyes glinted with dark desire, as well as victory, as she asked, "And this being the same Lily who was hailed and groomed to be Horace's successor, or even Filius' successor, before she decided to pursue a better life in the throes of motherhood? The same Lily whom was approached by the DGP Foundation of Potions Masters, because of her research surrounding a possible cure for lycanthropy and a blood substitute for vampires? The same Lily whom you yourself, Snape, not only worked alongside when you had the chance, but also constantly lost the battle for top-ranked Potions student for seven years' running?"

"This…this is not the point!" argued Snape, but Amelia could see his hands, eyes and even his lips quivering as he insisted, "The fact is that Potter thought himself in possession of abilities so formidable that he felt confident enough to not bother paying attention to basic safety!"

"Basic safety…" scoffed Amelia, removing the monocle from her eye, the motion of which made both Shacklebolt and Moody tense up as, suddenly, even they knew Snape was in deep doo-doo.

This also allowed Amelia to fix Snape with a stern, unyielding glare as she asked, "Tell me…Professor Snape: did you ever teach your students, and I do not just mean Mr Potter or Mr Malfoy…did you ever teach them basic safety?"

Snape opened his mouth to respond, but, as soon as he did, Amelia held up a hand as she added, "Bear in mind, when you answer, I said except for Mr Malfoy or Mr Potter: so, if you were about to, yet again, smear the name and memory of war heroes or claim you taught Lucius' son personally, remember this: I'll ask it again in the meantime. Did you, Professor Severus Tobias Snape, aka the man whom was second-best to Lily Alexandrea Evans, as she was back then, for seven years' running! Did you EVER teach your students, sans Malfoy or Potter, basic safety?"

Again, Snape opened his mouth to respond, before Amelia smiled wolfishly as she added, "And, again, bear in mind that I am the guardian of one of your students, have shared tea with the parents of at least twelve others, all in different year groups, and am in contact with so many others, including, to name but one, Andromeda Tonks!"

NOW Snape was screwed, and not just because of the name that Amelia had thrown out there.

Behind him, he could practically feel Alastor's magical eye boring holes into his skull; after all, it was no secret that the Tonks girl, who'd graduated the year before, had gone on with ambitions to become an Auror, which needed an Exceeds Expectations in Potions.

However, Severus remembered all too well the D Grade that he had claimed the girl earned on her NEWT Potions' exam, which meant her plans and ambitions should have been shot down hard and fast.

And they would have been, had it not been for Alastor coming out of retirement, approaching Amelia and the Tonks girl and claiming, before all present, that he was taking her under his wing, including giving her a chance to resit her Potions exam, which, to Snape's horror, had apparently earned her the biggest O grade since Lily.

Well, obviously, they were mistaken.

After all, if Snape, aka the guy who knew Lily inside and out, had said the shapeshifting little nobody had failed, then she'd failed.

Why?

Now though, he could feel the glare, hear the growl and smell the smugness, all of which were radiating off of Alastor and Amelia in droves, as the Director asked, "Well…Professor? Care to answer your question, or shall I just go ahead and inform your old friend of his new cell-neighbour here and now? Believe me, I'd imagine he's Sirius-ly looking forwards to seeing your Black hair again, Snape…or do you prefer…Snivellus?"

"THAT IS NOT MY NAME!" Roared Severus, earning a horrified look from Albus, while Snape exclaimed, "YOU WANT AN ANSWER, BONES? YOU WHO FUCKED UP YOUR OWN POTIONS' NEWT AND YET, THANKS TO YOUR FRIENDSHIP WITH THAT SELFISH BASTARD, POTTER SENIOR, YOU BRIBED YOUR WAY TO…"

"Oscausi."

Amelia's wand was out faster than Snape could have anticipated; as soon as his lips were fused together, Amelia sighed softly as she turned to Fudge, who looked like he was going to have a heart attack, as she asked, "So, Minister: I presume this is an open-and-shut case? Evidently, the soon-to-be-former Professor Snape did not give just instructions for his charges, ergo, our national hero, the Boy-Who-Lived…"

She hated having to use the mantle, but she knew that it was the only reason Fudge was there, because of who Harry Potter was to the nation.

And, by the nation, Amelia meant Fudge's joke of a career.

Regardless, she continued, "…was vulnerable to fates far worse than death, because one man cannot get over his grudge with a fallen war hero. As a result, and undoubtedly some small act of personal sabotage on his part, the ensuing accident, as Albus claims it was, has not only seriously scarred and wounded our nation's hero and saviour. But it has also caused Merlin-knows-how-much damage to Hogwarts as a whole and the idea that anyone except Professor Snape here can be good enough to be a Potions Master: so, lack of care towards your charges, endangering of many pure-blood minors, as well as the Boy-Who-Lived…lack of professionalism, one-sided attempts at sabotage and favouritism, in breach of the Code of Ethics set down in the Department of Magical Education's Lawbook…and, lest we forget, Professor Snape's once-questionable roles as a supposed spy in the Death Eaters!"

"Ah, but you forget, Amelia; I vouched for Severus' claims myself and guaranteed his co-operations," argued Dumbledore, earning a scoff from Amelia as she leaned over to him.

"And yet you did nothing to help my fiancée, Albus, even though a godparent shouldn't be able to…"

"Ah, so this is personal for you, is it, dear girl?"

'Damnit,' thought Amelia, forgetting that this was a guy who'd been playing the game since Grindelwald's time…and now, it was probably going to cost her the job she'd worked so hard to earn.

Albus, meanwhile, cleared his throat as he added, "Funny you should mention Ethics, Amelia: after all, in an interview, are you not forbidden from casting spells on your interrogatee while he is remanded into your custody? Remind me, Kingsley, old friend: what is the ensuing result if this particular right is breached?"

Amelia actually looked like she was begging Kingsley not to say it; she herself knew what it was, but…he'd given her no choice.

Why?

Every word the damn Death Eater spy had spoken was laced with hatred for Potter, no signs of guilt or remorse and one-sided ideals about the sort of thing that Horace himself would have gone over in great detail in the very first term.

Potter and everyone who wasn't Draco Malfoy were evil, wastes of space.

Severus Snape was God of the Dungeons, the Bat-Man if ever there was one…

Although, a hero who worked for justice, he was definitely not!

Why?

"Well, Kingsley?"

Shack looked completely, unreservedly and undeniably torn, even as he looked to Amelia before he answered, "I…I am sorry, Director, but…but breach of…of the No Assault Rule…it means the…the suspect is…is free to go…without any further questions or…or charges brought! If…if you refuse him this right…it…it's your job, Sir."

Even against his dark skin, Amelia could see the tears forming and slowly sliding down his cheeks.

This was torture for him!

But…and, you'd better believe she really loathed and detested having to say it, but Shack was right.

Clenching her teeth tightly together, Amelia waved her wand, removing the spell from Snape before she hissed in a very Snape-like manner, "On behalf of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement…and my own personal feelings…I…I wish to offer an apology to you, Severus Snape for…for any inconveniences our…summons…has caused you!"

"That's quite all right, Director…"

Oh, how Amelia wished she could curse the bastard; his smug, arrogant, but also-polite phrasing was so very much like Lucius-fucking-Malfoy that Amelia could practically see the blond parasite looming in his shadow – and he wasn't even there – as Snape continued.

"You are just doing your job…and, of course, Headmaster, if Mr Potter is…fatally wounded…perhaps we might be able to assist his recovery ourselves…all debts cleared?"

'Oh, you bastards!' thought Amelia, even as Albus agreed, suggesting that they go and see the poor, unfortunate boy so that Severus could personally assess the damage, though not before Amelia cursed her own damn blindness and Hufflepuff-homespun loyalties to law and order.

How could she have missed it?

'Snivellus…Albus…you planned this!'

Why?

"Ah, Poppy, how…"

"KEEP HIM AWAY FROM ME!"

Suddenly, Amelia had to try very hard not to smile, if not look bemused at the very least, as she saw the infamous Dragon Lady of Hogwarts running out of her own domain, the Hogwarts Hospital Wing, her proud Healer's garb stained with blood and stinking of vomit and other possible faecal matter.

As Poppy Pomfrey raced past them, Amelia looked back to the doors as she wondered, "What do you suppose that's all about, Albus?"

"I…I have…I have no idea…"

"Let's find out, shall we?" asked Amelia, unable to keep the delight out of her voice as she saw Severus' face pale with dread, before Amelia indicated the door to the Wing, "Well? After you, Professor Snape: you're here to assess your patient, right?"

Knowing full well that Severus had rather conveniently, and quickly, decided he'd rather be back in his dungeons, Amelia kept her wand trained on him, as did Shacklebolt, while Moody actually began stamping his staff rhythmically, as though cautioning the man that he wasn't going to let him renege on his duties a second time.

Especially not since Alastor not only trained Miss Tonks, but, before his death, he'd also been helping James rise up through the ranks.

Left with no choice, Severus pushed open the doors to the Hospital Wing…

Why?

Never, not even when she'd visited Azkaban Prison herself some time ago, would Amelia Susan Bones ever admit to being as horrified, bone-chilled, soul-burned and heart-stopping-terrified as she was when she heard the first thing that came through those doors.

Laughter.

High, cold, cruel, malevolent laughter, which seemed to fill every inch of the Hospital Wing, making the already-grim sight of three beds occupied by petrified students – well, two students and a cat – look tame by comparison. While Amelia did make a note of the identities of the students in question, her eyes, and her fears, were more-focused on the furthest bed from the door.

A door that had its curtains drawn around it, though that didn't stop the Aurors present, as well as the Minister losing their lunches as they saw blood streaked across the curtains, as well as a Healer from St Mungo's, who was now pressed against the furthest bed opposite, cowering in terror, their hands – or rather, to Amelia and her companions' horror and disgust, one of their hands, while the other looked as though it had been cauterised by dragon-fire – covering their heads as they whimpered and pleaded unintelligibly.

"Merlin's beard!" gasped Amelia, ignoring the jabbering mess of excuses and curiosities coming from Fudge; instead, she made her way to the curtains where, pulling them back, Amelia was treated to the sight of more maniacally-broken laughter, as well as the source of the blood.

A hand.

A single hand, which had a heavily-bloodstained Healer's glove lying next to it, was held in the hands of a very deathly-pale-looking individual, whom was laughing like the Devil himself possessed as he splashed more and more blood over the walls, painting what Amelia was horrified to see was a very large circular symbol with a disfigured, blood-drawn smiley face inside the circle.

"Mr…Mr…Mr Potter?" asked Amelia, looking back to the laughing individual.

Suddenly, the individual stopped painting, before he chuckled mirthlessly as he asked, "Mr Potter? Oh, I am afraid Mr Potter is dead, Madame…"

As Amelia's eyes widened as she heard the words flying from his lips, she also saw him step into the light of the wing, revealing the fact that his hands weren't the only deathly-pale part of him.

Instead, it now looked like every bit of his flesh had been bleached bone-white, while slick black hair rose up around his head in a manner that might have befitted a crown of pure, living darkness. Here and there, Amelia also noticed streaks of AK-green knotted amongst the black, making him look even-more-terrifying, if not dramatic, to behold, while his emerald eyes were now rimmed by a light blue sheen that seemed to make him that bit colder in appearance. He had a fierce, cold grin on his face, which, to Amelia's horror, seemed to be fixed in place, judging by the way his skin, and the muscles therein had been stretched and disfigured, until they seemed to resemble two streaks of jagged lines around his mouth that made him look like some sort of vampiric monster, or demon, cursed with the fangs of a predator.

He was dressed in black robes again, but that didn't stop the terrifying appearance making itself known as the newly-transformed saviour let out another cold laugh as he addressed Amelia again.

"Call me…JOKER…and, as you can see, I'm a lot happier…"

Then he laughed again, his laughter high, cold, cruel, broken and filled with no small amount of malefic terror.

All of which were emphasised by the way he threw the dissected hand straight into the face of Professor Albus Dumbledore, sending blood flying over the Headmaster's attire, while Amelia turned to a disbelievingly-apathetic Snivellus Snape.

"Merlin's beard, you…you thoughtless prick! Do you have any idea what you've done?"

Oh, Amelia, I VERY much doubt Snape knows or cares, but now, a VERY different Clown Prince of Crime has descended on Hogwarts: hmm, I wonder: is it time to start dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight?

Also, exactly how far gone is the now-dubbed Joker? Too far? Not far enough? Somewhere in the middle?

Keep Reading to Find Out

Next Chapter: Snivellus might have gotten off the hook: what a shame the same can't be said for Hogwarts, especially those who think Ha…sorry, Joker has anything to do with the other terror stalking Hogwarts' halls;

Please Read and Review

AN: Portrayal

Amelia Bones: Jodie Whitaker

AN2: Added References

Also, in case you were wondering, the description of Harry/Joker's new look was partially-inspired by a one-shot idea of mine from YEARS ago that still gives me chills to this very day.

And, as an added bit of creepiness, the 'smiley face' Harry/Joker drew is the same image from The Mentalist drawn by its main antagonist, Red John: what can I say? I wanted to really push the boat out and, now, I have...enjoy!

AN3: Pairing

So, as INSANE as this story already sounds, I'm willing to push the boat out and make it worse…

But, in order to do that, I need your help, my denizens of disaster: who should be the Harley to Harry's Joker?

Now, I've posted a poll on my profile, but, for those who won't be able to see/find it, here's the list;

Romilda Vane

Luna Lovegood

Susan Bones

Astoria Greengrass

Fleur Delacour

Gabrielle Delacour

An OFC who is Bellatrix Lestrange's Daughter

Bellatrix Lestrange

Cast your votes and let me know what evils lurk in your head…