"Never Had a Boyfriend"

~.Chapter Three.~

"Seducing!!!??? That should be Easy!…I Think…."

"What do you mean "seduce her"?" Inuyasha inquired seemingly interested.

"You know It's easy" Miroku replied nonchalantly.

"All you do is dress like what a girl would find 'sexy'." He added.

"You think I could do that? Do you think that would even work!?" Inuyasha said in a hurried tone.

"Of course it would work"

"Uhuh…But I really don't think Kagome is that kind of girl"

"I know a diary that said otherwise…" Miroku said with an evil tone as he pulled out a small black book now known as "Kagome's Personal Secret, Well Detailed, Overly Described Diary".

"Hey you can't read that! That's Kagome's Personal Secret, Well Detailed, Overly Described Diary!" Inuyasha said defensively.

"Oh defending your girlfriend?"

"She isn't my girlfriend!!" Inuyasha said with a blush.

"Exactly!!! But soon she will be!" Miroku added with a devious tone as he slid the diary in her Night Stand.

"Okay I get the point" Inuyasha sighed while returning to his papers.

"Umm help!" A muffled voice from outside Kagome's bedroom door was heard.

Inuyasha rose to the occasion to help the two girls with water in their hands get inside. Just before Inuyasha opened the door Miroku jumped at him and put his hand over his mouth so he wouldn't yell at him.

"Listen…" Miroku whispered.

"Seduce her damnit!" With that Miroku released Inuyasha and purposely ruffled his hair to make him look all "sleepy and cute".

"Look tired and 'sweet' smile at her a lot and look lazy.. Compliment her and stuff.." Miroku whispered finally.

"Uh Hello!?" Sango's voice could be heard. Inuyasha nodded to Miroku and opened the door staring only at Kagome looking all sleepy like he was informed. "here Lemme Help" He said as sweet as his ego would alow him and took the two water glasses out of Kagome's hands. He kept one for himself, gave the other to Miroku, and Kagome took one out of Sango's hands for herself.

"Thank you Inuyasha." she said politely.

"Umm.." He looked at Miroku. "You're welcome…Your eyes are.. *twitch* pretty.." He struggled out the words.

"Oh thank you Inuyasha that's sweet" She blushed while Sango just shook her head.

The rest of the night pretty much went the same. Inuyasha choking out compliments to Kagome, Kagome blushing in return, Sango trying to evade Miroku while shaking her head at the retarded couple next to her, and Miroku sneaking into Kagome's underwear drawer every once in a while when people weren't looking at him.

Ironically, Sango and Miroku were both thinking the same thing--no not "that" sickos!!-- that Kagome and Inuyasha needed to hook up. As expected the night before everyone passed out on the floor with their papers surrounding them. Sango woke up early and sneaked over to Miroku. She woke him up and they both quietly packed their stuff up intentionally leaving the two on the floor together. ((oh they have some bad ideas I assure you)) So after that, they left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"m m m m mmmmmm. . . . . ." Kagome mumbled in her sleep and rolled over uncomfortable on the ground. After a little movement she found something soft and warm to lay on. Her, being basically asleep, didn't even bother to possibly think what she was currently laying on and continued to sleep.

Inuyasha slowly opened his eyes after feeling more weight added to his chest and looked down. He looked straight back up and blushed. "shit" he mumbled. He gently laid her to one side and stood up. He felt something in his pocket and pulled it out. There was a crumpled up piece of paper made bulky so that he couldn't ignore it.

"Inuyasha- remember how I told you to bring that outfit without the girls knowing last night? Well the plan has commenced. Hopefully you have gotten this and read it before Lady Kagome wakes up. Sango and I have joined forces and you must put on that outfit to attract Kagome. Leave her a note or something and get out of there! We will meet you at school. Hope you aren't late. Me and Sango will guide you during school if you need help.

-Miroku

Ps: If you are really looking into it and you want to buy her laungeré …. She's a size four petite….Please don't ask how I know this information….Oh! And black would be really good on her. Go for the skimpy kind that show off her legs. I'd think you'd like that!"

Inuyasha's eyes twitched a couple thousand times at the last statement and the fact in general about what he was going to try and do to Kagome. (*Why in the hell do I even want to seduce her… I mean we just met. I don't understand why I would like a wench like that. Oh well*) Inuyasha thought. He slid into the bathroom, changed, fiddled with Kagome's alarm clock until he figured out how to set it so that it would go off in several minutes so she wouldn't be late for work, and got the hell outta there. In record time I might add too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

He arrived at work with 15 minutes before class would even remotely start so he decided to meet up with Miroku. He headed to his classroom to find him and Sango waiting impatiently. Miroku noticed the outfit and commented.

"Good you got the note."

"Well ya! It was only a giant wad of screwed up paper. Oh and that last comment we need to talk about that." Inuyasha replied with his eye beginning to twitch again.

He was wearing tight black leather pants and a white plain T-shirt.

((-drool-)) For such a plain outfit he did look really good in it.

"Heh… we Really don't need to talk about that" Miroku said hurriedly as Sango shot him and evil look. "The fact is.. Are you ready?"

"Whatever I guess… by the way I set her alarm clock so she should be here any minute now." Inuyasha added. And within several minutes Kagome came skidding down the hall with only a few minutes to spare before class started. She walked into Inuyasha's room and glared at them all.

"Thanks for waking me up guys!" She said angrily.

(* Time to swallow your pride and think smart…*) Inuyasha thought nobly for once in his life and started to use his wits.

"Well you see it was the other two" Inuyasha said simply. "They didn't wake us up. But, When I awoke you were still sleeping and work wouldn't start for a little while. So I set your alarm so you wouldn't be late because I didn't want you to wake up." He said smoothly. "You're very pretty when you are sleeping" He blushed.

(* Good, he's using his brain. But he did blame it on us.. He must be trying to get back at us.*) Miroku thought.

Class for Inuyasha and Kagome went normally. Kagome just nonchalantly teaching and Inuyasha trying to teach "lessons" While making them more interesting and skillfully dodging Kohji's questions. And soon it was the first break. Nothing much happened accept for a little unexpected visit by Inuyasha.

Kagome had her feet on her desk and was eating Candy-Corn when Inuyasha popped his head in her room.

"Oh hey Inuyasha!" She said. Then she wiggled to gently get her feet off her desk. Inuyasha approached her as she did that. Kagome leaned back too far and the desk chair fell. Kagome squealed and flung her body to the side so that, if she had to fall, she wouldn't go down with the chair and hit her head. Inuyasha leaned forward without much struggle and easily caught her. He quickly set back up properly on her feet.

"Nice reflexes… Thank you" Kagome said blushing.

"No prob" (*wait…shouldn't I have tried to seduce her just then! DAMNIT! It would have been perfect "accidentally" tripping and landing on her.. Wait, that wouldn't be too pleasant…I QUIT!*)

He quickly blushed and stared.

(*What's got him so flustered?*) Kagome thought. The both continued to be in what seemed to be deep thought when the bell finally rang.

Inuyasha gave the class and assignment and grabbed Miroku and made a beeline for the Teacher's Lounge.

"Listen to me Miroku! I quit! I don't care about seducing her! If she like me then she'll like well…ME not some idiot who can't seduce girls.. I may not be a "good boy" and a may break a lot of rules but that one is definitely against my morals!" Inuyasha said angrily to Miroku.

"Why your hostility towards me offends me so Inuyasha!"

"Cut the crap Miroku you know I'm done!" Inuyasha growled.

"Fine, fine. Just be a little nicer to her? Maybe that will work?"

"I TOLD YOU DAMNIT IF SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME FOR WHO I AM AND CAN'T ACCEPT MY ATTITUDE THEN FUCK THE BITCH!!!" Inuyasha yelled losing his temper.

"You really don't have to get that angry!" Miroku retorted.

"Look-- I'm sorry I'm just really stressed out okay? That damn Kohji girl will not stop questioning me. I didn't mean to be "hostile" so why don't I meet you back in class?"

"Okay"

Inuyasha quickly ran back to class feeling satisfied that he had gotten that off his chest.

(*Fine then Sango and I will set them up that simple*) Miroku thought evilly.

"Wait…..I Have an idea! I must tell Sango!" And then, of course, Miroku when to go look for her and tell her his little 'plan'.

It was now lunch time and They all decided to just hang out in the teachers lounge and eat the cookies they had there. They even had popcorn!

"What the hell!? Pop-Fucking-corn with no butter!?" Inuyasha said angrily with his eye twitching slightly.

Kagome just shrugged at his comment and continued to eat her cookie.

"I think that maybe we could stay late after school It's kinda fun being here late ne? At least that was how it was at my old school. . ." Sango said innocently.

"Sure" Miroku agreed with an evil glint in his eye.

"popcorn. . . ." Inuyasha whined which they took as a 'yes'

"Why not?" Kagome added.

"Good then It's settled!" Sango said cheerfully and exchanged glances with Miroku.

Class started up again and Inuyasha's class was learning why Little cute birds explode when they eat rice.

"You see. . . Rice has yeast in it. Birds' Stomachs cannot handle the yeast expanding in the intestine so, therefore, they explode. Not into one thousand little bits, unfortunately, but they do die." Inuyasha concluded with a smile.

Then Little Johnny raised his hand. "Do you think we could perform that experiment?"

"Well I would kind of like to. . . But It's illegal. . . That's why you're not allowed to throw rice at weddings anymore. But we could pop little ants. I would do the spider experiment but that involves drugs. . .and I think I would get arrested. Crack isn't usually welcomed on school grounds by police." Inuyasha answered thoughtfully.

"What's the ant experiment?" Some random child asked.

"Well what you do is you get a bunch of little black ants and bring salt, pepper, ketchup, and mustard. Two of those substances will make them pop and die. And you have to guess which one of the two will cause that. Guess, test, and revise Kind of crap. I think we could do it tomorrow do you want to?" Inuyasha inquired the class.

"Sure!" and a variety of other assorted ways of saying "yes" were shouted excitedly.

In Kagome's Class . . .

"Well. . . You guys sure learned that fast. . .How about we play a game? Any suggestions?" Kagome asked.

"Sparkle?"

"How about Koosh?"

"Koosh sounds fun" another kid agreed.

"Okay Koosh it is. . . Do all of you know how to play Koosh?" Kagome asked and several kids shook their heads.

"Okay well It's simple and a lot easier than explaining Senet" Kagome smiled happily.

"What's Senet?"

"You never heard of it? You should buy it. It's Kind of hard to find though It's and Egyptian game found in the ancient tombs of different Pharaohs such as Ramses III, and Tutankhamen, or, as you probably know him as, King Tut. It involves hieroglyphs and four wooden sticks and a board separated thirty squares and three strips." Kagome explained hurriedly and the kids forgot about Koosh.

"Can you describe it to us? Do you know a lot about Egypt!? Did you go to Egypt!? Were you once and archeologist studying pyramids!?"

"No I did none of those things! You guys can sure ask a lot of questions. I studied Egypt and I have a great interest in it." Kagome said blushing. "But seriously you never heard of it?"

Back in Inuyasha's Class . . .

"Well you finished the lesson early so free time I guess. . . Try not to shatter too many things and don't get into the extremely toxic chemicals." Inuyasha said and the class got up to go play different games and such. "Miroku, I am going to go walk around, stretch a little something' like that. Make sure that they don't paint the walls okay?"

"Sure but, really, they are fifteen and older would they do such things?" Miroku asked.

"You give them too much credit" Inuyasha said simply and then walked out the door leaving Miroku to take care of the kids.

"So!" Kohji and a bunch of other girls said menacingly, walking up to Miroku, Holding paint in their hands threateningly. "Howsit goin'?"

"No please don't I'll right you up!" Miroku yelped backing into a corner while several other kids approached him.

'NOOOOOOOO!" Inuyasha heard a voice yell with a bunch of kids laughing. He thought about going to help whoever it was but decided he would disregard it and continued to walk down the hall.

"Well how could I do this. . .?" Kagome asked herself turning around and randomly looking out the door. And she just happened to see Inuyasha walking by slowly and nonchalantly. "Oh here!" She ran to the door and opened it. " Inuyasha do you have a minute?" She called out to him. He turned around, shook his head 'no', and walked into her classroom.

"Do you know about Egypt? SENET!? Anything!?" Kagome asked stressed.

"uh ya!" Inuyasha said proud of his intelligence for once.

"OH GOOD!" Kagome said relieved and she hugged him.

Inuyasha blushed a deep crimson and just. . . Sort of stood there while The kids turned their attention to them and started whistling. Kagome blushed and released the tense, and frozen, Inuyasha. She scowled at the class, still blushing, and they shut up.

"Now kids, Inuyasha does know about Egypt. So He's going to tell you some stuff about it okay?" Kagome addressed the class.

Inuyasha blushed again and then asked Kagome what he should talk about. She told him just to stick to Senet and ancient Egypt in general.

"Well… ." He started, thinking. " I do know a lot about the Anubis. . .I know his entire story If you are willing to listen.. . ." The students nodded their heads rapidly, having wrapped attention on him. He took a deep breath and began. "Anubis is a Greek rendering of the Anpu, and was Identified with Hermes, who was "the conductor of souls". Anubis opened the roads of the dead to other worlds too. He is represented by a black Jackal with a bushy tail, or a semi-black-skinned man with a jackal, or dog head. Dogs were also sacred to Anubis. Because of this, they called the city of his cult Cynopolis. From the earliest dynasties, Anubis presided over embalmment. At funeral prayers he would always occupy a position that was preponderant, so that almost the whole day was based on him. In a book called the "Pyramid Texts" Anubis is known as the fourth sun of Ra. And he had a daughter, Kebehut, who became the goddess of freshness. Later, he was admitted into the Family of Osiris and it was said that Nephthys, who was left child-less by her husband, Set, bore him adulterously to Osiris. Anubis was abandoned by his mother at birth and was found by Isis, the Egyptian Goddess of Love and Fertility, who was also his aunt. Isis felt it in herself that it was the right thing to do to raise the child. When Anubis grew up he went on an expedition with Osiris and then "the Good One" was murdered. Anubis then helped Isis and Nephthys bury him. That was when Anubis had invented the funeral rights and bound up the mummy of Osiris to preserve him from contact with the air and other corruptions. Anubis then became known as: "Lord of Mummy Wrappings". From then on, he looked over funerals, and proceeded with the embalming and then later receiving it at the door of the tomb. He also made sure that all presents to the deceased reached them. He would then take the dead pharaoh by one hand and take him to the place where his soul would be weighed. He then became known as the god of the dead and he was worshiped by many because his relation to the late Osiris." Inuyasha concluded with a smile.

Kagome blinked, what seemed like, a couple thousand times surprised that he knew so much. The kids continued to stare at him as if he were the kewlest freak known to man kind. To know so much and be so layed back and kewl. It was a dream of the students. Though half of them didn't nearly know who Osiris or Isis were they still thought it was pretty kewl. Sango mumbled an amazed "wow" from the other side of the classroom.

"Guys. . .It's not that amazing" Inuyasha laughed nervously.

"No really Inuyasha that was kewl" Kagome said smiling.

'HEEEELPPPP ME INUYASHA!" a loud yell sounded from the corridor. Inuyasha looked panicked mumbled a hurried "see ya" to the class, Kagome, and Sango, and ran out the door to his classroom looking flustered.

He ran through the door to see Miroku being tortured by paint and other assorted "decorative" things.

"BREAK IT UP! YOU ALL HAVE DETENTION!" Inuyasha yelled loudly. They all shut up and returned to their seats most of them with pipe-cleaners in their hair and pant all over them. "That felt good" Inuyasha mumbled to himself proudly as he tended to the shaking Miroku.

"Th-thank-you Inuyasha" Miroku said shakily, running to the bathroom to wash all the stuff off of him. "You know I am usually lenient. . . So . . .you guys don't have detention.. . . But Don't do that again!" Inuyasha said clearly.

The kids gave a sigh of "thanks" and relief. Though, they didn't make any promises now did they?

The day had ended, the kids were already home, Miroku had began to recover from the earlier events, and Inuyasha was fiddling with a mechanical pencil. Sango looked at Miroku. The plan would commence well. . . . . Now.

"Where are we going to be correcting?" Inuyasha asked the other three.

"Why don't we correct in your room? It more spacious and stuff." Miroku quickly answered and Sango quickly agreed. Inuyasha raised a skeptical eyebrow, shrugged, and then followed them into his classroom from the hall.

Miroku and Sango had already previously made sure there was no key, and no other way out to get out of his classroom.

"Do any of you have a key on you? I need to go to the teachers lounge I think they locked it and I left mine at home." Sango pleaded sweetly.

"I don't have mine with me" Kagome said sadly and then Inuyasha pulled his out.

"It's my only one. . . Don't lose it" He said as he tossed them to her. "I think I'll go with you!" Miroku said hurriedly and then ran out the door to meet Sango. Sango and Miroku locked the door, ran out of the building and locked that too.

"Okay It's been 20 minutes and they still aren't back. . ." Kagome said to Inuyasha who looked up from all of his papers. "I'll go check on them then." Inuyasha said, and then got up to try and open the door. (note the word "try")

"Umm Kagome. . . . . I think my door. . . Is locked. . ." Inuyasha said slightly while rattling the door knob.

"No way!" Kagome said, flustered, as she got up and tried to help him open the door. No use. They were locked in. Courtesy of Sango and Miroku who had already fled the building snickering 19 minutes ago. Along with all the keys that would have been available to get them out. Another big problem, they had put the air conditioning on and it was getting cold, real cold. The controls were in the other room too. The one that they were locked out of. Yup.

Dun Dun Dun!!!!!! Yes I know, how could you end it there!? Well guess what I have! Don't worry it will be updated soon. And this time I mean it. It also took a long time because ff.net wouldn't lemme in!

Peace out with pretzels yo!

~Mysteriouse Ramen~