Title: The Whole Nine Yards - Chapter 3 of Maybe When...
Author: Xionin
Rating: R
Pairing: Buffy/Spike.
Feedback: Pretty please?
Disclaimer: ME dropped the ball. I picked it up.
Summary: This a medium series based on Buffy's line to Spike from 'End of Days'. She begins to say 'maybe when [this is all over,] but Spike interrupts her. It's an AU approach to the series finale [because you know how much I loved that] and then moves into the 'what ifs'.

And oh yeah, it's a total piece of fluff. Enjoy!

The Whole Nine Yards

Their faces revealed varying degrees of shock, disbelief and quiet surprise. The only one seemingly nonplussed by Willow's explanation was the man himself.

"So..." he began slowly. "You're tellin' me that...I'm...alive?" He paused as if the words hung suspended in the air before him. He waited for them to be erased from the canvas of this new reality.

"Yup." Came Willow's educated response. She smiled and tried to meet his downturned eyes.

"Alive...as in-"

"As in you have a heartbeat, your blood is warm and...well...yours. Alive: the whole nine yards." She reached out and touched his arm, as if to confirm it for herself and he flinched. "Sorry." She removed her hand. Spike's eyes darted to hers apologetically.

"Sorry, Red, 's jus'-" He frowned, searching for the words.

"It's kind of a shock?" She finished for him and he nodded. An uncomfortable silence filled the room as everyone stared. Spike felt as if he were on display. Normally, he would have been annoyed at being gawked at, but now he couldn't blame anyone. He'd 've been staring too.

He sat, contemplating for a moment, and then his eyes went wide with a realization. He'd hesitantly turned to Buffy, whose gaze he had been avoiding, afraid of what he'd see there. She was still hovering about the edge of his bed like a ghost.

Tears pooled in her eyes and glistened on her cheeks. Spike noticed a purplish bruise fading from her temple and he frowned, tilting his head in concern; himself immediately forgotten. She smiled then, knowing exactly what he was reacting to. She moved closer to him and took his hand again. He grasped it as if it were a lifeline.

He was afraid. She could smell his fear and she didn't like it.

'Alive?' What did that mean. 'alive?' At what cost?

"Will" She addressed her friend without taking her eyes out of his. Pacific blue they were, though dulled around the edges from his ordeal. "Explain...please." It was a quiet plea to settle his fears.

Spike had worn the amulet to help with the battle. He'd accepted it, and whatever consequences it brought with it, without even asking what they were. And being alive meant what? Giving up his immortality? Becoming mortal again? Is that what he really wanted? Was that a choice he would have made willingly?

Had he known, would he have still accepted the role of Champion? In her heart, Buffy hoped that the answer to those questions was yes. In her soul, she knew it was the only answer.

Willow turned to Spike, but she placed her hand on top of theirs. When she spoke, her voice was low and soothing.

"Your demon...has been vanquished. It's gone. You've been cleansed, Spike." She paused to allow the truth of her words to settle on him. Giles moved closer, awestruck by these events. Dawn sat down in a chair as she felt her knees grow weak. She had an enormous smile on her face.

"Wow...Spike, I-" She whispered, but Giles gestured for her to be quiet. He knew there was more.

"Willow, please..." Continue. The silent request hung in the air.

"Try-" She searched for the right way to explain it all. "Try to reach inside and find the...the guilt...that you've been carrying since...since you-"

"Got your soul back." Buffy finished quietly. She suspected that he would be unable to find it; feel it. As if reading her thoughts he shook his head.

"I don't - it's not..." he stuttered.

"It's gone, Spike. You've been cleansed." Willow smiled.

"Yes, er, you said that Willow, but what does it mean?" Giles took off his glasses.

"It means," she continued to address Spike and Spike alone. "You are forgiven. Exonerated, I guess is the better word. You've been cleared of every bad thing the demon in you ever committed." She smiled warmly as the information turned over in his mind. "I felt it when the amulet was activated. I dunno, somehow...I was drawn down there. Something compelled me to see, and I did, I saw your cleansing and it was amazing, Spike. You've been given such a gift." Tears sprung to his eyes.

"Why?" His whispered voice was tremulous.

"Because-" Buffy startled everyone by answering his question to Willow. "Because you took up the role of Champion without a second thought. Because-" she placed her other hand on top of Willow's and his and hers. "-you...are a good man, Spike, and you just saved the world." He was shaking his head 'no.'

"And you did it," she ignored his humility. "expecting no reward. You did it knowing you would probably die. You did it because you knew it was the right thing to do and that no one else could have done it." Her voice wavered as fresh tears spilled from her emerald eyes.

Spike's eyes closed, his shoulders slumped as he wept silently. He was shaking and Buffy raised one hand and caught some of the tears on his cheek with her palm. She was looking at him in such a tender way that Willow's breath caught. She'd never seen that look on Buffy before. Despite her injuries, she looked beautiful. And in love.

Willow withdrew from them and stood. Giles was, quite honestly, in shock.

"Spike...is he human? Willow, is th-that what you're telling us?"

"No." She replied softly, which made everyone turn their eyes to her once more. "Or yes, but no." Buffy frowned at her and Spike opened his eyes confused.

"But you said-" Dawn voiced everyone's thought.

"I said he was alive, not...human, so to speak." She tried to explain.

"OK," Buffy took a deep breath. She was squeezing Spike's hand so tightly, she would have injured an ordinary person, but neither of them noticed. "Please explain, using the smallest words possible."

Willow nodded, wringing her hands, and she began to pace the room.

"Spike is..." she turned to him, deciding not to speak of him as if he weren't there: a favorite Scooby pasttime over recent years. "Spike, you'e mortal, but not human. You're more...than human, you're a true Champion. A...you've been chosen to fight on the side of good against evil. You'll age, but way slowly. A-and you have healing powers like, well, like Buffy. Like a slayer."

"So...Spike's like a male slayer?" Dawn chimed in.

"Uh, for lack of a better analogy, I'll go with that one, yeah." She grinned nervously. "Only he's...charmed."

"Charmed?" Giles, Buffy and Spike spoke simultaneously.

"M'not going to find out I have two sisters and start callin' on the power of three am I?" Spike hoped he was joking. Buffy laughed. He was making jokes, so he must be feeling better. Willow shook her head.

"But...Spike is alive, right?" Buffy pressed. "Mortal?" She turned to him and smiled brightly, even more so when he returned it.

Spike felt happy, sad, confused and a little sore. Looking at Buffy, at what he saw in her eyes...
She'd called him a man on more than one occasion recently. She'd called him an ally; a friend and later a Champion. And now...now all of those things had come to pass. He was a good man; a man for the good. No more vampire. No more demon. A true White hat.

Ah the irony.

He was...worthy. He smiled into her and took her hands. The look of pride on her face brought new tears to him.

"Buffy," he breathed. "Thank you." Emotions threatened to choke him.

"You don't have anything to thank me for. You did it all."

"I couldn't have - not without you...your belief in me." Buffy looked down and drew another deep breath. Without looking up she began to speak.

"Spike...I need-" She drew another shaky breath. "I need to apologize to you."

"Buffy, no you don't-"

"I need...to apologize to Spike and I need you guys to hear this." She glanced up at Willow, Giles and her sister. They are stared at her. Waiting. She looked back down at her hands and his.

"I want to apologize to you, Spike, because I haven't always given you the...credit...you deserved. You've been on this path for...God, I dunno...as long as I can remember and I know that I've often been cruel." Spike squeezed her hand to protest, but she continued. "I won't go into the details, but I- I just..." her voice broke.

"I've always known, in my heart, what mind of a man you were. I just didn't...I couldn't listen...sometimes. I fought not to see it; see you. Please understand-"

"I do luv, I do understand-"

"No. You don't. I didn't...I didn't want to be wrong. About you." She sniffled. "And now I find out that I wasn't and I'm so relieved and I feel ashamed for feeling relieved. Because it wasn't about you, it was about me. As usual. All. About. Buffy.

"I made your...desire to do good...about me. I mean, how ridiculous is that?"

"I did that luv, not you."

"No. It was never about me, it was always about you. What you've done-" A sob escaped her throat and Spike started making slow circles on her hand with the pad of his thumb. "You're...so amazing, Spike." She looked up at him and the tears flowed from her eyes, prompting his own. The room stood in stunned silence.

"You're the most incredible person I've ever known and I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner, because now it's going to seem like it's only because you're...because...and it's not! It's so not..."

She was rambling and it made Spike smile.

"Buffy-" he said softly.

"Do you know what I'm trying to say? 'Cause I've never been good with words and-"

"Buffy." He said a little louder and she stopped to finally look up at him. "I understand and I thank you. I hope this means that we...can be friends now?"

She smiled and exhaled a breath she'd been holding for who knows how long.

"Yes. Absolutely!" She brushed more tears from his face and he returned the favor. They were both smiling, oblivious to the rest of the room.

"Can I jump on the apology bandwagon and segue right into friendship too?" Willow's voice brought them out of the reverie.

"Of course, Red, and thank you. THANK YOU! Thank you so much for...for everything." He finished quietly. Willow blushed and nodded. She turned towards the door and silently gestured for the others to leave the room. They both nodded. Willow exited. Dawn walked over to the bed, chewing her lip.

"Can we...um-"

"Yeah, niblet. We can." Spike smiled brightly for her. She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and bounced out of the room. Giles had been staring at Spike for several minutes. When he realized that he was the only one left with the pair, he self-conciously placed his glasses back on his nose.

"Well...Spike. It would seem that you are...full of surprises." He smiled a small smile. "I expect that we have a great deal to discuss."

"Ever the Watcher, eh?" Spike grinned. Giles chuckled.

"Er, yes, well..." He nodded to Buffy who gave him a grateful smile in return and he left the room, closing the door behind him.

When Spike turned back to Buffy, she was looking at him in a way he'd never seen before. The green pools of her eyes seemed deeper than usual. Her mouth softer. The year's events showed fatigue in the slouch of her shoulders, but the weight of the world had been lifted.

"So." He said softly.

"So." She breathed.

"Can I ask a question?" He tilted his head ever so slightly. She loved that little habit of his. She noticed the color in his face, now. Not from borrowed blood, borrowed lifeforce, but from his own. It was Spike, her Spike (and was he still hers?), but mortal.

"Shoot." She smiled.

"Well-" he was suddenly very unsure of himself. "I was thinkin'...about somethin' you said not too long ago."

"Yes?" Watching his lips move was incredibly distracting. They'd always been a weakness for her before, but now...they seemed to have a life of their own, especially the full, sweet bottom one.

"A-and you were saying 'maybe when'- before...before I sodding cut you off..."

She smiled. "Yeah?"

"Well-" He cleared his throat. "I was wondering-" Oh God his eyes were so blue. Had they been this blue before?

"Mm hmm?" She hoped he'd get to the point soon, she was getting sidetracked by that damned bottom lip. It was pouting a little and it was all she could do not to flatten him to the mattress and suck on it until he-

"When is 'when'? Exactly?"

"Huh?" She looked at him in confusion.

"You said 'maybe when.' So...when is when?" She smiled slowly before she answered.

"When...would be now, Spike."

"I see," he said, trying not to jump up and do a jig. "So...that means what?"

"What would you like it to mean?" It was amazing to her how easily they fell into this flirtatious dance. It's not like they'd just avoided the Apocalypse to end all whatever-the-plural-of-apocalypse is; or that he hadn't just been granted mortality. Nah. What was all that in the face of some good old fashioned flirting?

"I know what I want, and I suspect you do too." His tongue curled against his teeth; the confidence returning. She nodded. He released his fingers from hers and pulled her closer. Placing his hands on either side of her head, he inhaled deeply, savoring her intoxicating cocktail. She placed her hands on his forearms, loving the feel of his flesh heated by his desire for her.

"You're warm." She whispered.

"So are you, kitten." They closed their eyes slowly, but only at the last possible moment before their mouths fused together.

The heat and passion of it startled them both but somehow the kiss remained soft and hesitant; almost like the first time. Both refused to deepen it, for fear that it would spiral into something neither of them were ready for. They tasted each other gently, teasing one another and drawing out the pleasure; trembling with it.

Spike pulled back first, unaccustomed to having to come up for air. He rested his forehead against hers, breathing heavily.

"You're so beautiful, Buffy." She shook her head.

"This could get...interesting." She opened her eyes and smiled into his.

"Yes, it could." He agreed, kissing the end of her nose. "But whatever happens, I want to do it right."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I want it all." He pulled back from her, taking her hands once again. "I want the romance, the flowers, the dates, everything. I am going to woo you." Buffy giggled and it was music to his ears.

"Do guys still do that? Woo?"

"This one does." He smiled, tilting his head again. "So how 'bout it, Slayer?"

"How about what?"

"You? Me?"

"Are you asking me out? On a date?" She grinned, feigning ignorance.

"Yes, Buffy, I am. Will you go out with me...tomorrow night?"

"Where to?"

"S' a surprise."

"What time?"

"Uh...7:00."

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes, William, I will go on a date with you." She flashed him the perfect curve of her California smile.

"Good." He smirked. "And the name is Spike." They both laughed and he hugged her to him.

"Er...not to spoil the mood, pet, but I'm bloody starving!"

TBC Chapter 4: Baby Steps